Zugzwang posted:

I'm not even sure how often they still prescribe the stronger painkillers for vasectomies these days, given the opioid crisis and whatnot. I was advised to alternate ibuprofen and Tylenol every few hours for a week or two. The only prescription I got was for the two valiums to take before the procedure. And the OTC meds did the trick. Jockstraps definitely helped too for the first few weeks.

Anyhoo, I myself had like 3 weeks between consult and procedure. The only thing I'd change was that I wish I'd known about the doctor I ended up going with sooner. I initially made an appointment with a urologist, and after waiting 3 months, his office called to cancel a week before the consult. He had become "unexpectedly and indefinitely unavailable" . I made a second urologist appointment that was a 4-month wait. Two months into that wait (so 5+ total months at this point), a doctor acquaintance recommended a family medicine doctor at a different place. I got in to see him literally 2 weeks after calling. Coulda gotten this all overwith a while ago. So it goes.

Anne Whateley posted:

He was talking about IVF. For that they don’t hook up all the plumbing again, they just go in with a syringe to extract sperm. It is also $$$ though

but they sound 100% sold anyway, it was just an interesting fact

Anne Whateley posted:

He was talking about IVF. For that they don’t hook up all the plumbing again, they just go in with a syringe to extract sperm. It is also $$$ though

but they sound 100% sold anyway, it was just an interesting fact

“Anne Whateley" posted:

Btw, your wife probably already knows this, but nowadays they don’t tie the tubes, they take the tubes out altogether. The process is a bilateral salpingectomy. If a doctor offers to tie them instead, and isn’t just speaking carelessly, gtfo.

Another cool fact btw is that after she has it done, she’ll be much less likely to get ovarian cancer! We don’t have a thread for it, but feel free to ama here or in the birth control megathread

actionjackson posted:

the part after where you have to jerk off in a clinic to test if it worked was so awkward.

Serjeant Buzfuz posted:

Uhhhh. What?
I just did that at home and brought it in lol

Serjeant Buzfuz posted:

Uhhhh. What?
I just did that at home and brought it in lol

w4ddl3d33 posted:

how do they know you're not faking with somebody else's cum

jasoneatspizza posted:

Just had this done Monday. No complications, but I can't say the procedure itself was a pleasant experience. I was expecting smoother based on reading other experiences, but feeling my nuts squeezed from the inside when they were locating those sperm tubes made me feel like I was gonna pass out. Had to get to them to pause for a bit after the left nut, because my blood pressure dropped. They gave me some oxygen and the right nut tube was equally not pleasant but I got through it. The burning smell was actually a relief cause I knew that meant the end was near.

I was pretty fine immediately after though. Didn't really need any time to rest. Right nut had some residual ache for a day. They gave me a jock strap, which I wore at home for like an hour before getting rid of it. I know they usually recommend more nut support, but personally I felt better just letting them hang. I didn't need to move around much either though.

Now there's nut sensitivity when they move around, but no consistent ache. The incision is tiny and has not been an issue at all. Still feel like I have micro PTSD if I think back on the procedure itself though.

Serjeant Buzfuz posted:

Uhhhh. What?
I just did that at home and brought it in lol

ilkhan posted:

They don't care about sperm quality, just if they are present or not. You should be fine doing it at home and bring the sample in.

Zugzwang posted:

My doc said the opposite about quality vs presence. The idea is that sperm can still be in there, but if they lack motility -- ie if they're not swimming or moving -- then you're ok. Because it can take quite a while for literally all the sperm to leave your plumbing after a vasectomy, but they can't impregnate anyone if they can't swim. This usually means they're dead, I think

For that reason, when I give my sample (next week!), I'm supposed to keep the cup at body temp until I hand it in. This means holding it between my legs or the like. I had to do the same when I was doing fertility stuff with my wife before we had our two kids, and that was when we definitely cared about sperm quality.

Farmer Crack-rear end posted:

That's interesting. I think in my case the interval between vasectomy and test (...90 days?) was supposed to be long enough that, if the procedure was successful, there shouldn't be any sperm left in the tubes whatsoever.

Zugzwang posted:

My doc said the opposite about quality vs presence. The idea is that sperm can still be in there, but if they lack motility -- ie if they're not swimming or moving -- then you're ok.

Gunshow Poophole posted:

Lol I ended up with the super gross porn in a dirty clinic room.

Not being fertile since 2017 is worth it tho

w4ddl3d33 posted:

for some reason this line gave me the heebie-jeebies. you've got a fish tank with all the fish dead and floating at the top of the water, except it's not a fishtank and it's your balls

Zugzwang posted:

Eh, the fish tank is still full of happy swimmers. They just can't swim out of the tank anymore.

Anderson Koopa posted:

In regards to my sample the urologist's office sent me to the wrong lab. If you thought dropping your sample off was awkward, try taking it where they aren't expecting it.

Poldarn posted:

So my province hates healthcare and has been slowly defunding it. There is only one testing centre for post-vasectomy sperm in my city, which is luckily a few minutes drive from my house.

BUT because of some recent changes to the private/public partnership of the contract company that does the testing, the address on the requisition I got after the procedure was out of date, and the online directions to the facility were contradictory depending on which website you went to (health authority/old company/new company/rebranded new company). I ended up calling the place just to be sure, and doing a drive by the day before because the only thing weirder than carrying a hot cup of cum in your pocket, is carrying a hot cup of cum in your pocket for no reason.

Poldarn posted:

BodyMassageMachine posted:

Context: in NJ, doing full anesthesia per my urologist’s direction. Probably also owe on top for that and other office fees but this is the surgical center’s ballpark estimate that I’ll owe on Friday when I go in.

Squiggle posted:

My procedure is finally tomorrow, but I've come down with a really lovely respiratory infection that has me sneezing and coughing hard enough that my abs are starting to hurt. Is this going to make the immediate recovery period more painful?

I have no worries about the cut itself, but I got sick immediately after hernia repair surgery years ago and frankly I don't want to put myself through anything like that again. If abdominal pressure is going to gently caress me up here too, I'll just reschedule.

Edit: got to talk to the urologist, and he said it could certainly make recovery worse, so we're rebooked for early April. In the meantime, this cough sucks! See you thread then

Abyss posted:

The fee for not coming in for the operation ($250) was actually more than what the operation cost me ($110).

Miracle Box posted:

Godspeed my friend!

Coming to you from the other side: Just got the call from my urologist confirming I’m sperm free

Hotel Kpro posted:

Isn't this the most popular time of the year to do it? Beginning of March Madness sounds like a great reason to stay home