The lady who shitposts

The Something Awful Forums > Archives > Comedy Goldmine > BYOB Goldmine: Gold Mango > The lady who shitposts

Chewbecca: Just chillin' : )

The lady who shitposts puts away her embroidery and adjusts her bustle to a more comfortable position before firing up her posting rig

_{Thanks to Heather Papps for sweet sig, click for more hot lady action}

_{sigs by luvcow and Khanstant.

Click on Spoonville for a neat surprise}

_{(┛◉Д◉)┛彡┻━┻ #YesNutNovember - add this to your sig if you love and support BYOB's own nut}

# ? Jul 17, 2022 21:11

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ? Apr 27, 2024 09:24

Chewbecca: Just chillin' : )

The lady who shitposts sighs delicately and holds her pinky aloft before replying "nice post, for an addlepate" to her posting enemy

# ? Jul 17, 2022 21:57

Barking Gecko: Mahoro says, "Naughty things are bad."

She sips from her glass of absinthe and returns to contemplating the banality of the grey forums.

# ? Jul 17, 2022 22:08

Buttchocks: No, I like my hat, thanks.

A woman must have an avatar and redtext of her own if she is to write shitposts.

# ? Jul 17, 2022 22:25

Heather Papps: hello friend

a lady who desires a career as a gimmick poster must pick carefully - a lady and her gimmick are not easily parted

thanks Dumb Sex-Parrot and deep dish peat moss for this winter bounty!

# ? Jul 17, 2022 23:58

Kaiser Schnitzel: Schnitzel mit uns

The lady who shitposts sits by the monitor, night by night.

https://i.imgur.com/R8ctked.mp4
ty Manifisto for this wonderful sig!

# ? Jul 18, 2022 00:26

Kaiser Schnitzel: Schnitzel mit uns

the lady who shitposts smiles wryly, coyly typing her latest missive

https://i.imgur.com/R8ctked.mp4
ty Manifisto for this wonderful sig!

# ? Jul 18, 2022 00:27

Heather Papps: hello friend

oi, m'lady! the finest silken gloves - for all your shitposting needs! never touch the keyboard, like a beast of the field! only five silver pence!

thanks Dumb Sex-Parrot and deep dish peat moss for this winter bounty!

# ? Jul 18, 2022 00:47

Allie

the lady who shitposts was consumed by her unquenchable thirst for expression. pure, unfiltered thought leaked out of her fingertips, splattering the screen like a sordid crime scene. she painted the town brown with unwise words and mordant discord. day. night. unbridled energy. every thread's last reply column bore her name. others knew not what to say. no one dare spoke up. her lexical lust knew no bounds. and the forums were under her reign. the lady who shitposts reigns

# ? Jul 18, 2022 01:45

Heather Papps: hello friend

i mean what else do you think princess diana did with her time. raising awareness about land mines isn't a 24 hour gig.

thanks Dumb Sex-Parrot and deep dish peat moss for this winter bounty!

# ? Jul 18, 2022 01:47

google THIS

A lady who shitposts sits sidesaddle in her posting chair, taking a dainty pinch of weed snuff before typing her post one-handed while fanning herself with the other

# ? Jul 18, 2022 01:48

Buttchocks: No, I like my hat, thanks.

But Lancelot mused a little span;
He said, 'She has a 100,000 hour ban;
God in His mercy lend her a hand;
The Lady of Shitpost.'

# ? Jul 18, 2022 02:46

Heather Papps: hello friend

Buttchocks posted:

But Lancelot mused a little span;
He said, 'She has a 100,000 hour ban;
God in His mercy lend her a hand;
The Lady of Shitpost.'

O what can ail thee, yobber-at-desk,
Alone and barely posting?
The blue fluid has dried from the pad,
And the mangoes ripe with pest.

O what can ail thee, yobber-at-desk,
So haggard and so woe-begone?
The gas�s chamber is full,
And the gold mine is less than empty.

I see a kitty on thy hammock,
With cheerful face and weed-dew,
And on thy cheeks a fading post
Fast withereth too.

I met a lady in the threads,
Full beautiful�a faery�s child,
Her hair was long, her foot was light,
And her eyes were wild.

I made a garland for her head,
And bracelets too, and fragrant zone;
She looked at me as she did love,
And made sweet posts

I set her on my posting chair,
And nothing else saw all day long,
For sidelong would she bend, and sing
A faery�s song.

She found me chips of dorito spicy,
And honey wild, and mountains-dew,
And sure in language strange she said�
�I emptyquote thee true�.

She took me to her Elfin thread,
And there she wept and sighed full sore,
And there I shut her wild wild eyes
With jokes voted more than four.

And there she lull�d me asleep,
And there I dreamed�Ah! woe betide!�
The latest dream I ever dreamt
On the cold hill side.

I saw pale mods and idiot kings too,
Pale posters, death-pale were they all;
They cried��La Belle Dame du Shitpost
Thee hath in thrall!�

I saw their starved lips in the gloam,
With horrid warning gap�d wide,
And I awoke and found me here,
On the cold hill�s side.

And this is why I sojourn here,
Alone and palely posting,
Though the goldmine is empty from the jape,
And no probes sting.

thanks Dumb Sex-Parrot and deep dish peat moss for this winter bounty!

# ? Jul 18, 2022 03:05

Chewbecca: Just chillin' : )

Using her finest pen and high quality note paper, the lady handscribes her post before placing it an envelope sealed with a dab of red wax and the stamp of her family's crest. She directs her maid to deliver it to the postmaster post haste, so that it can be delivered as high priority mail to start its journey first thing in the morrow. The lady expects her missive would be received in the following spring, due to the note being taken by ship to lands afar, however she still keenly awaits its response.

The letter of great import, reads:
𝓠𝓾𝓸𝓽𝓲𝓷𝓰 𝓽𝓱𝓲𝓼.

Chewbecca fucked around with this message at 08:14 on Jul 18, 2022

# ? Jul 18, 2022 07:57

Chewbecca: Just chillin' : )

The lady was dismayed to learn, upon receipt of the telegram, that her much beloved thread had been gassed - for shame! She therewith succumbed to a case of the morbs so severe that the doctor felt need to prescribe gentle walks in the late afternoon sun, landscape painting and an aggressive course of bloodletting to provide some relief for her affliction.

# ? Jul 18, 2022 08:29

Buttchocks: No, I like my hat, thanks.

Heather Papps posted:

O what can ail thee, yobber-at-desk,
Alone and barely posting?
The blue fluid has dried from the pad,
And the mangoes ripe with pest.

O what can ail thee, yobber-at-desk,
So haggard and so woe-begone?
The gas�s chamber is full,
And the gold mine is less than empty.

I see a kitty on thy hammock,
With cheerful face and weed-dew,
And on thy cheeks a fading post
Fast withereth too.

I met a lady in the threads,
Full beautiful�a faery�s child,
Her hair was long, her foot was light,
And her eyes were wild.

I made a garland for her head,
And bracelets too, and fragrant zone;
She looked at me as she did love,
And made sweet posts

I set her on my posting chair,
And nothing else saw all day long,
For sidelong would she bend, and sing
A faery�s song.

She found me chips of dorito spicy,
And honey wild, and mountains-dew,
And sure in language strange she said�
�I emptyquote thee true�.

She took me to her Elfin thread,
And there she wept and sighed full sore,
And there I shut her wild wild eyes
With jokes voted more than four.

And there she lull�d me asleep,
And there I dreamed�Ah! woe betide!�
The latest dream I ever dreamt
On the cold hill side.

I saw pale mods and idiot kings too,
Pale posters, death-pale were they all;
They cried��La Belle Dame du Shitpost
Thee hath in thrall!�

I saw their starved lips in the gloam,
With horrid warning gap�d wide,
And I awoke and found me here,
On the cold hill�s side.

And this is why I sojourn here,
Alone and palely posting,
Though the goldmine is empty from the jape,
And no probes sting.

# ? Jul 18, 2022 08:30

Kaiser Schnitzel: Schnitzel mit uns

Heather Papps posted:

O what can ail thee, yobber-at-desk,
Alone and barely posting?
The blue fluid has dried from the pad,
And the mangoes ripe with pest.

O what can ail thee, yobber-at-desk,
So haggard and so woe-begone?
The gas�s chamber is full,
And the gold mine is less than empty.

I see a kitty on thy hammock,
With cheerful face and weed-dew,
And on thy cheeks a fading post
Fast withereth too.

I met a lady in the threads,
Full beautiful�a faery�s child,
Her hair was long, her foot was light,
And her eyes were wild.

I made a garland for her head,
And bracelets too, and fragrant zone;
She looked at me as she did love,
And made sweet posts

I set her on my posting chair,
And nothing else saw all day long,
For sidelong would she bend, and sing
A faery�s song.

She found me chips of dorito spicy,
And honey wild, and mountains-dew,
And sure in language strange she said�
�I emptyquote thee true�.

She took me to her Elfin thread,
And there she wept and sighed full sore,
And there I shut her wild wild eyes
With jokes voted more than four.

And there she lull�d me asleep,
And there I dreamed�Ah! woe betide!�
The latest dream I ever dreamt
On the cold hill side.

I saw pale mods and idiot kings too,
Pale posters, death-pale were they all;
They cried��La Belle Dame du Shitpost
Thee hath in thrall!�

I saw their starved lips in the gloam,
With horrid warning gap�d wide,
And I awoke and found me here,
On the cold hill�s side.

And this is why I sojourn here,
Alone and palely posting,
Though the goldmine is empty from the jape,
And no probes sting.

https://i.imgur.com/R8ctked.mp4
ty Manifisto for this wonderful sig!

# ? Jul 18, 2022 13:44

google THIS

Heather Papps posted:

O what can ail thee, yobber-at-desk,
Alone and barely posting?
The blue fluid has dried from the pad,
And the mangoes ripe with pest.

O what can ail thee, yobber-at-desk,
So haggard and so woe-begone?
The gas�s chamber is full,
And the gold mine is less than empty.

I see a kitty on thy hammock,
With cheerful face and weed-dew,
And on thy cheeks a fading post
Fast withereth too.

I met a lady in the threads,
Full beautiful�a faery�s child,
Her hair was long, her foot was light,
And her eyes were wild.

I made a garland for her head,
And bracelets too, and fragrant zone;
She looked at me as she did love,
And made sweet posts

I set her on my posting chair,
And nothing else saw all day long,
For sidelong would she bend, and sing
A faery�s song.

She found me chips of dorito spicy,
And honey wild, and mountains-dew,
And sure in language strange she said�
�I emptyquote thee true�.

She took me to her Elfin thread,
And there she wept and sighed full sore,
And there I shut her wild wild eyes
With jokes voted more than four.

And there she lull�d me asleep,
And there I dreamed�Ah! woe betide!�
The latest dream I ever dreamt
On the cold hill side.

I saw pale mods and idiot kings too,
Pale posters, death-pale were they all;
They cried��La Belle Dame du Shitpost
Thee hath in thrall!�

I saw their starved lips in the gloam,
With horrid warning gap�d wide,
And I awoke and found me here,
On the cold hill�s side.

And this is why I sojourn here,
Alone and palely posting,
Though the goldmine is empty from the jape,
And no probes sting.

# ? Jul 18, 2022 13:47

Jinh

Chewbecca posted:

The lady who shitposts sighs delicately and holds her pinky aloft before replying "nice post, for an addlepate" to her posting enemy

^{thanks so much cda <3}

# ? Jul 18, 2022 15:00

Jinh

Heather Papps posted:

O what can ail thee, yobber-at-desk,
Alone and barely posting?
The blue fluid has dried from the pad,
And the mangoes ripe with pest.

O what can ail thee, yobber-at-desk,
So haggard and so woe-begone?
The gas�s chamber is full,
And the gold mine is less than empty.

I see a kitty on thy hammock,
With cheerful face and weed-dew,
And on thy cheeks a fading post
Fast withereth too.

I met a lady in the threads,
Full beautiful�a faery�s child,
Her hair was long, her foot was light,
And her eyes were wild.

I made a garland for her head,
And bracelets too, and fragrant zone;
She looked at me as she did love,
And made sweet posts

I set her on my posting chair,
And nothing else saw all day long,
For sidelong would she bend, and sing
A faery�s song.

She found me chips of dorito spicy,
And honey wild, and mountains-dew,
And sure in language strange she said�
�I emptyquote thee true�.

She took me to her Elfin thread,
And there she wept and sighed full sore,
And there I shut her wild wild eyes
With jokes voted more than four.

And there she lull�d me asleep,
And there I dreamed�Ah! woe betide!�
The latest dream I ever dreamt
On the cold hill side.

I saw pale mods and idiot kings too,
Pale posters, death-pale were they all;
They cried��La Belle Dame du Shitpost
Thee hath in thrall!�

I saw their starved lips in the gloam,
With horrid warning gap�d wide,
And I awoke and found me here,
On the cold hill�s side.

And this is why I sojourn here,
Alone and palely posting,
Though the goldmine is empty from the jape,
And no probes sting.

^{thanks so much cda <3}

# ? Jul 18, 2022 15:01

google THIS

It is a truth universally acknowledged that a single man in possession of a good fortune, must be in want of a KNIFE TO MEET YOU

# ? Jul 18, 2022 15:36

Kaiser Schnitzel: Schnitzel mit uns

the lady who shitposts, speaking to winston churchil: bro ur wasted

winston churchill: and in the morning, madam, i shall be sober and you shall still be shitposting

the lady who shitposts: lmao

the lady who shitposts: nice comeback

the lady who shitposts: baldass motherfucker

the lady who shitposts: lmao imagine fighting on the beaches

the lady who shitposts: hurd durf look at me fighting on the landing grounds

https://i.imgur.com/R8ctked.mp4
ty Manifisto for this wonderful sig!

# ? Jul 18, 2022 18:13

Chewbecca: Just chillin' : )

"I declare after all there is no enjoyment like shitposting! How much sooner one tires of any thing than of a shitpost! - When I have a thread of my own, I shall be miserable if I have not an excellent subforum"

- Jane AustenPowers, Pride and Prejudiceroll

# ? Jul 18, 2022 21:49

Chewbecca: Just chillin' : )

Noting the lateness of the hour, the lady eagerly retired to her posting chambers - she knows for as the street lamps are lit that it will be time for nite crü to emerge, and in turn the posts promised to be ever more deliciously decadent

# ? Jul 18, 2022 22:21

Heather Papps: hello friend

*clock strikes midnite*

"my prince... what is the matter?"

"that... lady. that most lovely woman! where has she gone? she was here but a moment ago!!!"

"my liege i had observed the two of you dancing, but i know not whereto for she went!"

"SILENCE SERVANT! A CLUE! a most delicate, crystalline... computer mouse? SOUND THE WORD. SEARCH THE KINGDOM - FIND THE HAND SHAPED TO THIS MOUSE!"

thanks Dumb Sex-Parrot and deep dish peat moss for this winter bounty!

# ? Jul 18, 2022 22:35

google THIS

google THIS posted:

It is a truth universally acknowledged that a single man in possession of a good fortune, must be in want of a KNIFE TO MEET YOU

This could also have been "It is a truth universally acknowledged that a single man in possession of a good fortune, must be in want of a g/f so he can watch her pour blue fluid on a tampon 1x/month"

# ? Jul 19, 2022 02:21

Chewbecca: Just chillin' : )

The lady who shitposts schedules the pwning of n00bs for 4pm, so she can still get to backgammon at 5pm

# ? Jul 19, 2022 02:31

Ass-penny

ask not who the lady shitposts for, she shitposts for thee

# ? Jul 19, 2022 21:05

Ass-penny

shitposts by morning, ladies take warning
shitposts by evening, ladies resleevening

# ? Jul 19, 2022 21:07

Slush Garbo: FALSE SLACK
is
BETTER
than
NO SLACK

Kaiser Schnitzel posted:

the lady who shitposts, speaking to winston churchil: bro ur wasted

winston churchill: and in the morning, madam, i shall be sober and you shall still be shitposting

the lady who shitposts: lmao

the lady who shitposts: nice comeback

the lady who shitposts: baldass motherfucker

the lady who shitposts: lmao imagine fighting on the beaches

the lady who shitposts: hurd durf look at me fighting on the landing grounds

# ? Jul 19, 2022 21:09

Chewbecca: Just chillin' : )

The lady who shitposts has spent many a pleasant evening hand scribing and scrapbooking all of her favourite threads and posts. She takes particular pleasure in the watercolour renderings of the avatars and sigs.

# ? Jul 19, 2022 22:02

google THIS

Rosie the Threadshitter

# ? Jul 19, 2022 22:17

Nosfereefer: IF YOU FIND THIS POSTER OUTSIDE BYOB, PLEASE RETURN THEM. WE ARE VERY WORRIED AND WE MISS THEM

the lady who shitposts is an ancient north-east european legend. some say she posts backwards, others say she's posting on a computer w/ bird legs.

but all the tales end the same, you get owned big time, lurk more

(USER WAS PUT ON PROBATION FOR THIS POST)

# ? Jul 19, 2022 22:54

Nosfereefer: IF YOU FIND THIS POSTER OUTSIDE BYOB, PLEASE RETURN THEM. WE ARE VERY WORRIED AND WE MISS THEM

they say there is a lady who shitposts deep in the swamps, who will lure young men into a muddy grave since they can't help but try to counter argue

(USER WAS PUT ON PROBATION FOR THIS POST)

# ? Jul 19, 2022 22:58

Barking Gecko: Mahoro says, "Naughty things are bad."

They say the lady who shitposts honed her skills growing up in a lost continent where everything is trying to kill you.

# ? Jul 19, 2022 23:52

Chewbecca: Just chillin' : )

The lady who shitposts, demurely and coquettishly, with a flush on her cheek and a sparkle in her eye, calls the honour of the OP's mother into question.

# ? Jul 20, 2022 00:12

Chewbecca: Just chillin' : )

The lady who shitposts artfully arranges a bouquet of Geranium, Basil and Sunflower to send to the OP, to let him know in no uncertain terms what she thought of his posting.

# ? Jul 20, 2022 07:16

Stoner Sloth

Chewbecca posted:

The lady who shitposts artfully arranges a bouquet of Geranium, Basil and Sunflower to send to the OP, to let him know in no uncertain terms what she thought of his posting.

the lady who shitposts arranging for a single green carnation to be delivered to her door each morning

# ? Jul 20, 2022 15:15

Chewbecca: Just chillin' : )

The household was all atwitter, and the young men of the house seemed especially perturbed. The calling card indicated that the lady who shitposts would be visiting, meaning pwnage and provocation were surely afoot!

"Come now, fetch the router and foldout tables, she could be here any minute!" said father, trying (but failing) to hide his nervous and slightly hysterical energy. On receipt of the calling card mother had already disappeared to the servants quarters to direct the maids to appropriately polish the balls from the gaming mice, in honour of their esteemed guest.

# ? Jul 20, 2022 23:43

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ? Apr 27, 2024 09:24

Chewbecca: Just chillin' : )

# ? Jul 21, 2022 07:31

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