Schadenfreude Reboot: ANIMAL CONTROL STOLE MY ASS

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > Schadenfreude Reboot: ANIMAL CONTROL STOLE MY ASS

TEMPLE GRANDIN OS: Dec 10, 2003; ...blyat

Mr. Fix It posted:

i paste my kids in mario kart today so that they know they've really made it once they're pasting me in a few years' time.

they'll never speak to you again and I don't blame them

# ? Feb 3, 2023 06:56

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ? Apr 28, 2024 14:04

Stupid_Sexy_Flander: Mar 14, 2007; Is a man not entitled to the haw of his maw?; Grimey Drawer

Pennywise the Frown posted:

One of my favorite memories of my nephew was him being just the right height of my butt and I was walking by and felt a fart coming and I didn't want to waste it so I grabbed his face, put it against my butt, and blasted right into his face. There were 2-3 seconds of silent disbelief, then he started crying. It was so hilarious.

He's about 6' 3" now and has at least 30lbs on me. He's one of my best friends.

A shameful nigga fart on he own nephew

(USER WAS PUT ON PROBATION FOR THIS POST)

# ? Feb 3, 2023 07:27

Kenning: Jan 11, 2009; I really want to post goatse. Instead I only have these🍄.

Mr. Fix It posted:

i paste my kids in mario kart today so that they know they've really made it once they're pasting me in a few years' time.

I knew I was really becoming a man once I was consistently beating my father in Gran Turismo 3.

# ? Feb 3, 2023 07:32

Snowglobe of Doom: Mar 30, 2012; sucks to be right

But take your time, think a lot
Think of everything you've got
For you will still be here tomorrow
But your high score may not

# ? Feb 3, 2023 07:44

Helios Grime: Jan 27, 2012; Where we are going we won't need shirts; Pillbug

So many wieners here, we could probably open a hotdog stand.

# ? Feb 3, 2023 08:39

Large Testicles: Jun 1, 2020; [ASK] ME ABOUT MY LOVE FOR 1'S

CommieGIR posted:

Yeah, playing with your kids implies you are playing cooperatively with them and not dunking on them as they fall on the floor.

dunking on your kids is both a good thing for them and society

# ? Feb 3, 2023 09:23

Air Skwirl: May 13, 2007; Neither snow nor rain nor heat nor gloom of night stays these couriers from the swift completion of their appointed shitposting.

Learning how to lose is one of the most valuable things to learn when you're young.

# ? Feb 3, 2023 09:28

3D Megadoodoo: Nov 25, 2010

Skwirl posted:

Learning how to lose is one of the most valuable things to learn when you're young.

And as Tim Buckley has shown us, the younger the better.

# ? Feb 3, 2023 09:40

carrionman: Oct 30, 2010

Everyone has had to deal with someone who has never been allowed to fail or be beaten at anything.

You have a responsibility to ensure your child doesn't become that person.

# ? Feb 3, 2023 10:27

Snowglobe of Doom: Mar 30, 2012; sucks to be right

Lots of crazy poo poo in this episode of Just Rolled In including a goddang trunk monkey

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S1oLTUjgOR8

# ? Feb 3, 2023 10:39

Platystemon: Feb 13, 2012; BREADS

The car�s impression of a Star Wars speeder is incredible.

# ? Feb 3, 2023 11:16

Fishstick: Jul 9, 2005; Does not require preheating

https://i.imgur.com/6I5bvqM.mp4

# ? Feb 3, 2023 11:18

Matinee: Sep 15, 2007

I like that they used electrical tape to cover their phone but couldn�t spare a few inches to strap it to the raft

# ? Feb 3, 2023 14:08

Outrail: Jan 4, 2009; www.sapphicrobotica.com

Fishstick posted:

https://i.imgur.com/6I5bvqM.mp4

This has gotta be fake, or the phone was already broken.

But if it's not, it's gotta be so relaxing being this dumb.

# ? Feb 3, 2023 14:24

Flash Gordon Ramsay: Sep 28, 2004; Grimey Drawer

It�s actually reversed, from a magical culvert where you can get a free phone just by putting a homemade raft in.

# ? Feb 3, 2023 14:25

B-Rock452: Jan 6, 2005

Pennywise the Frown posted:

One of my favorite memories of my nephew was him being just the right height of my butt and I was walking by and felt a fart coming and I didn't want to waste it so I grabbed his face, put it against my butt, and blasted right into his face. There were 2-3 seconds of silent disbelief, then he started crying. It was so hilarious.

He's about 6' 3" now and has at least 30lbs on me. He's one of my best friends.

My 5 and 3 year old daughters think it's hilarious to fart on me. They will just run up, stick their butt at me, drop some heinous fart that physically should not be possible since they are so small and then run off giggling.

Also clowning on your kids in sports is important because then when you let them win or score they get crazy excited and it's really cute

# ? Feb 3, 2023 15:26

AvesPKS: Sep 26, 2004; I don't dance unless I'm totally wasted.

Mozi posted:

hopefully the video is the beginning of a decades-long series that ends with the kid repeatedly dunking on him

I kept waiting for this to happen

# ? Feb 3, 2023 15:59

Seven Force: Nov 9, 2005; WARNING!

BOSS IS APPROACHING!!!

SEVEN FORCE

--ACTIONS--

SHITPOSTING

LOVE LOVE DANCING

Flash Gordon Ramsay posted:

It�s actually reversed, from a magical culvert where you can get a free phone just by putting a homemade raft in.

just like in zelda!!!

# ? Feb 3, 2023 17:29

Splicer: Oct 16, 2006; from hell's heart I cast at thee
🧙🐀🧹🌙🪄🐸

Outrail posted:

This has gotta be fake, or the phone was already broken.

But if it's not, it's gotta be so relaxing being this dumb.

I've been trying to work out the easiest way to fake it:
1) have a friend nearby.
2) slightly block the culvert inside out of view.
3) set the raft going and sprint to the other side while your friend retrieves the phone from the blockage out of camera view.
4) do a little back and forth for comic value, then your friend hucks the raft back in for a comedically timed reveal.

I'm not trying to prove it's fake, I just had fun working out how it could be done.

# ? Feb 3, 2023 17:37

Phuzun: Jul 4, 2007

A lot of the phone schadenfreude could be faked. I've got 3 old phones sitting in a box that could easily be trashed for some likes. Sometimes it's the thought that counts and is a nice interlude between people owning themselves on rope swings at lakes.

# ? Feb 3, 2023 18:14

Outrail: Jan 4, 2009; www.sapphicrobotica.com

Splicer posted:

I've been trying to work out the easiest way to fake it:
1) have a friend nearby.
2) slightly block the culvert inside out of view.
3) set the raft going and sprint to the other side while your friend retrieves the phone from the blockage out of camera view.
4) do a little back and forth for comic value, then your friend hucks the raft back in for a comedically timed reveal.

I'm not trying to prove it's fake, I just had fun working out how it could be done.

It's magic phone, hth

# ? Feb 3, 2023 18:18

Zero One: Dec 30, 2004; HAIL TO THE VICTORS!

Snowglobe of Doom posted:

Lots of crazy poo poo in this episode of Just Rolled In including a goddang trunk monkey

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S1oLTUjgOR8

Tire dog was the best.

# ? Feb 3, 2023 18:24

fishing with the fam: Feb 29, 2008; Durr

The phone was edited out in post.

# ? Feb 3, 2023 18:27

SpacePig: Apr 4, 2007; I'M FEELING JIMMY

*this has been discussed I should read the thread*

The only phone schad videos that are really are the ones where they're dropped off of a boat or a pier, or taken by an animal.

SpacePig fucked around with this message at 18:53 on Feb 3, 2023

# ? Feb 3, 2023 18:50

old bean factory: Nov 18, 2006; Will ya close the fucking doors?!

Splicer posted:

I've been trying to work out the easiest way to fake it:
1) have a friend nearby.
2) slightly block the culvert inside out of view.
3) set the raft going and sprint to the other side while your friend retrieves the phone from the blockage out of camera view.
4) do a little back and forth for comic value, then your friend hucks the raft back in for a comedically timed reveal.

I'm not trying to prove it's fake, I just had fun working out how it could be done.

That's the same thing I concluded last time it got posted somewhere. Hollywood is a bunch of lies!!!!

# ? Feb 3, 2023 18:53

Outrail: Jan 4, 2009; www.sapphicrobotica.com

What about dropped in the shitter?

# ? Feb 3, 2023 18:53

Slugworth: Feb 18, 2001; If two grown men can't make a pervert happy for a few minutes in order to watch a film about zombies, then maybe we should all just move to Iran!

Splicer posted:

I've been trying to work out the easiest way to fake it:
1) have a friend nearby.
2) slightly block the culvert inside out of view.
3) set the raft going and sprint to the other side while your friend retrieves the phone from the blockage out of camera view.
4) do a little back and forth for comic value, then your friend hucks the raft back in for a comedically timed reveal.

I'm not trying to prove it's fake, I just had fun working out how it could be done.

Look at ol Benoit Blanc over here

# ? Feb 3, 2023 19:25