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LanceHunter
Nov 12, 2016

Just another skinny legend.



Amazon really does have everything! Like all of the drug paraphernalia that your local head shop might consider a bit too borderline to sell...

Like this Kitchen Spice Grinder. For when you need to grind your spice into tiny glass vials (and then dole out the ground spice in very small spoon)...


(This image even shows examples of the spices you could grind, for maximum plausible deniability!)


Of course, maybe you're grinding up perfectly-legal tobacco snuff. Then you might need these Copper Snuff Kits Container Tools Accessories!


Don't trust me, trust this person who felt it was totally fine to leave a review that publicly ties their Amazon account to this perfectly-legal product that is only ever used for perfectly-legal things.


Here's a set of metal straws, so you can snort your perfectly-legal tobacco snuff and also save the turtles or something. I'm mostly including this one because apparently even products like this feel the need to include renders...


"At least I'm not smoking? Right Doc?"


Here's yet another metal straw. Sorry, a NASAL VACUUM Style, SNIFFER SNORTER STRAW. Proof that coke heads have some sense of humor. (The primary joke being that this item is categorized under "Disposable Drinkware".


From the product description:

quote:

About this item
★ Easy To Use
★ Great Gift
★ Perfect Size
★ Get The Job Done
★ Order now!

Okay, at this point they're really stretching the definition of "straw" past its breaking point.


Anyways, yeah. I'm almost certainly on a list now for uploading all of these to Imgur. Consider this the thread to share the weirdest stuff available to buy on the world's store, Amazon Dot Com.

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AHH F/UGH
May 25, 2002



lol Jeff Bezos has no scruples and will do anything to make money whether it's making his employees piss their pants after their back breaks from 10 hours of lifting boxes or selling crack pipes online

Dang It Bhabhi!
May 27, 2004

Girrrl, let me see them Platinum Jubblies

Is that last one a crack pipe? Lol

LanceHunter
Nov 12, 2016

Just another skinny legend.



Dang It Bhabhi! posted:

Is that last one a crack pipe? Lol

I think those types of pipes are more for smoking meth. But don't worry, they've got crack pipes too (with helpful carrying cases, even).

Murdstone
Jun 14, 2005





Dang It Bhabhi! posted:

Is that last one a crack pipe? Lol
No. It's a straw.

MY INEVITABLE DEBT
Apr 21, 2011

just one more spin

boomer thread. people do drugs get used to it old man

Meme Poker Party
Sep 1, 2006

by Azathoth


Unsatisfied with being a mere moral blight upon humanity, Amazon now dabbling in the aiding and abetting of literal crimes too.

Meme Poker Party
Sep 1, 2006

by Azathoth


imo the next time Bezos goes to space we shouldn't allow him to come back.

Colonel Cancer
Sep 26, 2015

Tune into the fireplace channel, you absolute buffoon

Come back when you can get one of those perfectly legal spice zambonis from Heavy Metal

AHH F/UGH
May 25, 2002



Meme Poker Party posted:

imo the next time Bezos goes to space we shouldn't allow him to come back.

LanceHunter
Nov 12, 2016

Just another skinny legend.



They even have the traditional bodega/corner store "roses" that are your more traditional clandestine crack pipe.

They even helpfully offer a "Buy it with" grouping that is all you need to smoke the crack:


Now, I don't know what crackheads have a spare $50 and time to wait for next-day shipping, but they must be out there. Or at least, their significant others are:

Colonel Cancer
Sep 26, 2015

Tune into the fireplace channel, you absolute buffoon

What if you could buy a bong... Online :420::frogsiren::okpos:

Murdstone
Jun 14, 2005





Colonel Cancer posted:

What if you could buy a bong... Online :420::frogsiren::okpos:
Didn't Tommy Chong literally go to jail for that?

LanceHunter
Nov 12, 2016

Just another skinny legend.



MY INEVITABLE DEBT posted:

boomer thread. people do drugs get used to it old man

I certainly don't want to besmirch the good name of drugs. This thread is about the funny and ridiculous ways that paraphernalia is hiding out on Amazon.

Bad Purchase
Jun 17, 2019






i download my drugs and you canít stop me

Pontificating Ass
Aug 2, 2002

What Doth Life?


LanceHunter posted:

Here's a set of metal straws, so you can snort your perfectly-legal tobacco snuff and also save the turtles or something. I'm mostly including this one because apparently even products like this feel the need to include renders...

I bought some of these and they are way too short. The straw fell right into my drink and I had to fish it out. Maybe it's for small glasses.

Supreme Allah
Oct 6, 2004

everybody relax, i'm here


Nap Ghost

why would anyone want to get high when you can just sit there drooling like a slack jawed jackass while the interminable weight of all the worlds bullshit slowly wears you down to nothing

staberind
Feb 20, 2008

but i dont wanna be a spaceship


Fun Shoe

Ebay is about the same really, all sorts of herb crushers and so on.
*Eye's copper 3 layer grinder* they are good for herbs, dont get a plastic or aluminum one

Pimpcasso
Mar 13, 2002
MY PRONOUNS ARE SHIT/HEAD


my wife buys all her weed poo poo on amazon

kntfkr
Feb 11, 2019

GOOSE FUCKER


those are meth pipes not crack pipes

Spinz
Jan 7, 2020

https://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=3979339

For God's sake please go to my thread and see if you can buy anything, it's good shit and Xmas is coming!!!

kntfkr posted:

those are meth pipes not crack pipes

And no once you are smoking meth or coke it's not cool

If you think it is you are VERY young and dumb

Spinz
Jan 7, 2020

https://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=3979339

For God's sake please go to my thread and see if you can buy anything, it's good shit and Xmas is coming!!!

MY INEVITABLE DEBT posted:

boomer thread. people do drugs get used to it old man

Meth

Yea it's cool dude, black teeth are sexy

WILDTURKEY101
Mar 7, 2005

Look to your left. Look to your right. Only one of you is going to pass this course.

Supreme Allah posted:

why would anyone want to get high when you can just sit there drooling like a slack jawed jackass while the interminable weight of all the worlds bullshit slowly wears you down to nothing

the drugs make you stronger. you can carry even more weight.

Bad Purchase
Jun 17, 2019






Spinz posted:

black teeth are sexy

ALL teeth are sexy :colbert:

SLICK GOKU BABY
Jun 12, 2001

Havin' a roni


Sorry but gently caress you OP

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6EefPcht54c

Salt Fish
Sep 11, 2003



Cybernetic Crumb

LanceHunter posted:




Anyways, yeah. I'm almost certainly on a list now for uploading all of these to Imgur. Consider this the thread to share the weirdest stuff available to buy on the world's store, Amazon Dot Com.

This is a pretty loving funny picture

flubber nuts
Oct 5, 2005




legalize all drugs

LanceHunter
Nov 12, 2016

Just another skinny legend.



Apparently Amazon does have standards around this kind of thing.

Of course, being Amazon, they have no actual quality-control in regards to what they list on their store, so you end up with a list of prohibited items that looks like this:

quote:

Products must not be primarily used for making, preparing, or using a controlled substance, such as:
  1. Butane Honey Oil "BHO" extractors and kits
  2. Bongs and all related accessories
  3. Dab kits
  4. Pipes made from metal, most woods, acrylic, glass, stone, plastic or ceramic
  5. "Rose in a Glass" pipes and similar products
  6. Vaporizers and all related accessories
  7. Wired cigarette papers
  8. Nitrous Oxide Crackers
  9. Drug purity testing kits
  10. The term "drug paraphernalia" includes any equipment, product, or material of any kind which is primarily intended or designed for use in: manufacturing, compounding, converting, concealing, producing, processing, preparing, injecting, ingesting, inhaling, or otherwise introducing into the human body a controlled substance.
  11. Mylar bags, which are not clear or single colored

But in reality basically all of those things are on the store except the one that could most help people, the drug testing kits.

Dr. Gojo Shioji
Apr 22, 2004



LanceHunter posted:

I certainly don't want to besmirch the good name of drugs. This thread is about the funny and ridiculous ways that paraphernalia is hiding out on Amazon.

Big Business is killing all the small local Mom and Pop head shops!

I. M. Gei
Jun 26, 2005





Supreme Allah posted:

why would anyone want to get high when you can just sit there drooling like a slack jawed jackass while the interminable weight of all the worlds bullshit slowly wears you down to nothing

I for one prefer NOT to permanently destroy my brain with substances

By popular demand
Jul 17, 2007

IT *BZZT* WASP ME--
IT WASP ME ALL *BZZT* ALONG!




Do you even have any brain left?

I. M. Gei
Jun 26, 2005





btw Amazon sells gently caress machines too. Or they did a few years ago.



I only know this because someone in GBS posted a link to one once

I. M. Gei fucked around with this message at 20:04 on Aug 8, 2022

Omon Ra
Nov 1, 2020




Drugs are NOT cool!!!

kntfkr
Feb 11, 2019

GOOSE FUCKER


hard drugs are really fun :(

Omon Ra
Nov 1, 2020




kntfkr posted:

hard drugs are really fun :(
Hope you enjoy your black teeth.

verbal enema
May 23, 2009

Rhode Island Commodore


i really want the vacuum coke straw

Poohs Packin
Jan 13, 2019



kntfkr posted:

hard drugs are really fun :(

They are fun for a couple hours but there's never any end game really. It's just like "oh poo poo birds are chirping can't wait to wake up to an existential crisis due to zero serotonin in 5 hours"

Wifi Toilet
Oct 1, 2004



Toilet Rascal

One stop shop. After Amazon helps you OD, you can also go to Amazon for healthcare.

https://www.cnn.com/2022/07/21/tech/amazon-one-medical/index.html

Fried Watermelon
Dec 29, 2008




Hope you get some sales from your affiliate links op

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Bonzo
Mar 11, 2004

Just like Mama used to make it!


My wife was making her own lip balm and poo poo like that during the pandemic, so I was tasked with the finding the glass bottles and roll on caps. When the Amazon package arrived, it then occurred to me that these vials are straight up used to store drugs.

I also buy after market PAX3 supplies (weed vape) so yeah, the don't police anything at all.

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