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AKA Pseudonym
May 16, 2004

A dashing and sophisticated young man

Doctor Rope

I just recently moved into a place with a bidet and it's loving fantastic. I mean taking a nice big dump is great all by itself. But add in giving your butthole a nice warm shower? That's living, let me tell you. And when you finish up with toilet paper you're done in like two wipes.

Seriously highly recommended. If you don't have space for a proper bidet, go ahead and try one of those thing you can fit on a toilet, I bet they're great too.

Anyway, I'm going go wash my anus. Catch you guys later.

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Mooey Cow
Jan 27, 2018



Pillbug

And if you can't find a bidet you can always piss on your own rear end in a top hat. It's free and easy.

Bad Purchase
Jun 17, 2019






just poop upside down like you would in nature and you won't need the bidet

Das Boo
Jun 9, 2011

There was a GHOST here. It's gone now.




Bidets are a game changer for my blood dump days.

flubber nuts
Oct 5, 2005




i would give up my phone before i gave up my bidet.

Uriah Heep
Apr 28, 2010

im having a bit of an existential crisis here guys

Das Boo posted:

Bidets are a game changer for my blood dump days.

I'm in these days right now—it's specifically why I bought a bidet. That and metamucil

flubber nuts
Oct 5, 2005




i like to preblast my rear end with ice cold water before a poo poo to shrink up my b-ring so the poo poo comes out like angel hair. my girlfriend loves this. seriously try it.

Colonel Cancer
Sep 26, 2015

Tune into the fireplace channel, you absolute buffoon

Eat more fiber binch

Buce
Dec 23, 2005



the bidets that warm up the water and oscillate are extra good

The Bloop
Jul 5, 2004

by Fluffdaddy


Blood Dump gangtags when

Flyball
Apr 17, 2003



AKA Pseudonym posted:


Seriously highly recommended. If you don't have space for a proper bidet, go ahead and try one of those thing you can fit on a toilet, I bet they're great too.

They are. After you've used a bidet, making GBS threads without one feels uncivilized.

Panic! At The Tesco
Aug 19, 2005

POGCHUMP !

#essereFerrari





I just piss my rear end in a top hat clean with a clever little set up of funnels and tubes I've constructed

Mumpy Puffinz
Aug 11, 2008


Nap Ghost

Das Boo posted:

Bidets are a game changer for my blood dump days.

Ha Ha. Gross

2nd Amendment
Jun 8, 2022


They are the only civilized way to clean your butt. Even very basic ones (like the Tushi which I use) are also great at cleaning out assholes before sex. Strongly recommend. I've always been a fan but when we went on our honeymoon to Istanbul my husband fell in love with Turkish toilets. It led to the heartbreak of more than a few Turkish men and I got to be there for it all.

Inexplicable Humblebrag
Sep 20, 2003



nah dude he lied all day about the student loan forgiveness

e: poo poo misread

Colonel Cancer
Sep 26, 2015

Tune into the fireplace channel, you absolute buffoon

The only civilized way to clean your butt is 3 shells you heathens

SLICK GOKU BABY
Jun 12, 2001

Havin' a roni


I find they are angled in a weird way and not sure if it's sanitary to refill my water bottle in the toilet I just used OP.

Mumpy Puffinz
Aug 11, 2008


Nap Ghost

Colonel Cancer posted:

The only civilized way to clean your butt is 3 shells you heathens

:hmmyes:

Colonel Cancer
Sep 26, 2015

Tune into the fireplace channel, you absolute buffoon

Every drinking fountain is an unrealized bidet.

BluesShaman
Apr 25, 2016

She wore Blue Velvet.


It's like your first beer. Not only do you grow to like it, eventually life doesn't seem the same without it.

Zeluth
May 12, 2001



I use my shower as one. Nothibng like opening your butt cheeks to the wqater flow.

BAGS FLY AT NOON
Apr 6, 2011




Cleanse the poo poo out of my rear end in a top hat op

Chinatown
Sep 11, 2001

~*Problematic Poster*~

Fun Shoe

someone post that drawing of the dude endlessly wiping with the roll of toilet paper

Bad Purchase
Jun 17, 2019






2nd Amendment
Jun 8, 2022


Now replace that with a spray of water, covering him in poo poo.

For science.

Zeluth
May 12, 2001



Farts from your bowels allows your poo poo to float. But who is farting in your bowel?

beer gas canister
Oct 30, 2007

W E L C O M E T O M Y C U S T O M T I T L E ! ! !



Plaster Town Cop

Yes

Alucard
Mar 11, 2002


Pillbug

dot communist
Mar 28, 2005



Well if it isn't mister fancy-man washing his fancy butthole while we commoners struggle with our dingleberries

Friend
Aug 3, 2008



Me in 2020 during worldwide toilet paper shortages, splashing my rear end clean with a bidet on every toilet: :chord:

LuckyCat
Jul 26, 2007






Grimey Drawer

Blasting the dookie outta my butt sure has been a life changer. Laser away those turds. Fracking the under depths.

Mr. Crow
May 22, 2008

Snap City mayor for life


Bidet crew whats up.

I wish i had one of those roles royce toilets where it was all integrated but even if you dont you can buy cheap adapters that work and look great to fit on basically any toilet, check out tushy

Huge Lady Pleaser
Jun 17, 2005

hello how r u doing im just looking for ppl 2 chill wit relax go out n have funn if ur looking for da same thing hit me up


Nap Ghost

I donít have anything so fancy as even a bathroom at the moment, so I just use the backyard bidet iykwim

LuckyCat
Jul 26, 2007






Grimey Drawer

Bidet and Biden are just one letter off. Is he the powerful squirt to blast the poo poo outta the worlds rear end in a top hat (America)?

Synonymous
May 24, 2011

That was a nice distraction.


Needs more oscillatory actions. forward and back is all well and good, but I need gentle circles. A wave motion. Titillating zigzags

Colonel Cancer
Sep 26, 2015

Tune into the fireplace channel, you absolute buffoon

Just use your hand

Alucard
Mar 11, 2002


Pillbug

Colonel Cancer posted:

Just use your hand

I can't get it all in there.

Worf
Sep 12, 2017




Joseph Pee Bidet

BAGS FLY AT NOON
Apr 6, 2011




I donít even mind the cold water. Very refreshing after a rank spicy poo poo

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Worf
Sep 12, 2017




You can get them with warm water too lol

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