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ScRoTo TuRbOtUrD
Jan 21, 2007

:synpa:

bagged his rear end. close thread

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dot communist
Mar 28, 2005

Anyone got a source on powdered jackalope horn?

Asking for a friend. With dick problems.

Analytic Engine
May 18, 2009

not the analytical engine

dot communist posted:

Anyone got a source on powdered jackalope horn?

Asking for a friend. With dick problems.

my German friend in London says that that snuff is $69 a box / $420 a crate now, so good luck man! I feel you because I could afford it on my underachieving-tech-person salary (after cutting out 13 hard ciders a day) but I'm not cool enough to get a rabbit hookup in Bushwick. If it helps, my apt tin he McKibben Lofts was wikipedia-famous for Jackalope stag-do's by UK trust fund artists squatting at $1000/room/month in the 2010s. hope that helps with your drug search, sounds cool

so many "it ain't bushmeat, yank" declarations. lmao, own your addiction

dr_rat
Jun 4, 2001
I thought I saw a bigfoot once. Turned out it was just a normal person who caught and ate a rabbit in a park.

I did take a blur photo of them thou so like maybe it sort of counts?

Analytic Engine
May 18, 2009

not the analytical engine

dr_rat posted:

I thought I saw a bigfoot once. Turned out it was just a normal person who caught and ate a rabbit in a park.

I did take a blur photo of them thou so like maybe it sort of counts?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CsrmEjTwjPI

BAGS FLY AT NOON
Apr 6, 2011

Reckon y’all wouldn’t even know what t’do with a squatch even if y’ somehow managed t’ snare a furry fella. Me ‘n m’ boys been out in them there furrests nigh on forty years all snuggled up t’gether in one tent ‘n we ain’t never snatched not a one. Even lost our dear brother Drew, rest ‘is soul, buried out there face down in a shalla grave with all them interns up from th’ college.

goatface
Dec 5, 2007

I had a video of that when I was about 6.

I remember it being shit.


Grimey Drawer
Does anyone know if a squatch eats bears or vice versa? I don't know what this bone pile means.

STABASS
Apr 18, 2009

Fun Shoe
Cucked by Bigfoot???? [LONG]

Disco Pope
Dec 6, 2004

Top Class!
We've all seen the images of that Mothman statue with huge, dummy thicc cheeks, right?

What if, rather than being a portent of Doom, natural disasters and engineering failures are caused by the clapping of his spooky buns?

goatface
Dec 5, 2007

I had a video of that when I was about 6.

I remember it being shit.


Grimey Drawer
If - for example - I found a small hoard of gold items and jewelry in - for example - the roof of my gran's neighbour's house that you can get into through a hole in the attic, and I wanted to claim them as recently discovered treasure, how long would I have to bury them in the woods near my house to make it seem legit?

Hypothetically, of course.

Bloodfart McCoy
Jul 20, 2007

That's a high quality avatar right there.

goatface posted:

Does anyone know if a squatch eats bears or vice versa? I don't know what this bone pile means.

I know for a fact that squatch eats rear end.

Zeluth
May 12, 2001

by Fluffdaddy
First you have to smell then you have to see. That there is ... wait for it.

Mooey Cow
Jan 27, 2018

by Jeffrey of YOSPOS
Pillbug
I'm using energy crystals to find cryptids. Radiant squartz crystals can easily be charged with cryptid energy and will vibrate when one is near, with a frequency that depends on the species. In this way I have discovered many new species of cryptids, such as a highly cryptic kind of field mouse. No bigfoot yet, but I did feel a very bigfooty vibration once while out in the woods. Later that night i had diarrhea, and cia moved my shoes two inches to the left again.

Tunicate
May 15, 2012

Gargamel wanted to catch the smurfs which everyone says makes him a cryptid hunter, but he did that to turn them into gold, which is pure treasure hunter IMO

Mooey Cow
Jan 27, 2018

by Jeffrey of YOSPOS
Pillbug
I am on the look out for a selkie (for marriage). Anyone seen one let me know.

les enfants Terrific!
Dec 12, 2008
Has the community come to a consensus for pluralizing Bigfoot yet? Is it Bigfeet? Bigfoots? Bigsfoot?

BAGS FLY AT NOON
Apr 6, 2011

Bigfootses

goatface
Dec 5, 2007

I had a video of that when I was about 6.

I remember it being shit.


Grimey Drawer
Do earth-born lizard people count as cryptids or are they just aliens?

SatansOnion
Dec 12, 2011

Tunicate posted:

Gargamel wanted to catch the smurfs which everyone says makes him a cryptid hunter, but he did that to turn them into gold, which is pure treasure hunter IMO

didn't he also want to eat them? I thought that was, if not at the top, on the list of smurf-related research he intended to explore. so...did he? and if so did he ever discuss the experience? asking for a friend who sometimes gets the munchies

SatansOnion
Dec 12, 2011

unrelated: my PMs are open for any Time Lords in my area who want somebody to ride with them in their TARDIS :biglips:

Tunicate
May 15, 2012

SatansOnion posted:

didn't he also want to eat them? I thought that was, if not at the top, on the list of smurf-related research he intended to explore. so...did he? and if so did he ever discuss the experience? asking for a friend who sometimes gets the munchies

Both motives are well-ascribed in the text, the dialectical synthesis is that Gargamel is practicing an internal form of alchemy, so he can eat smurfs and poo poo gold.

William Henry Hairytaint
Oct 29, 2011



ilu Satan's Onion

A Fancy Hat
Nov 18, 2016

Always remember that the former President was dumber than the dumbest person you've ever met by a wide margin

Anybody know a good lawyer that can handle divorce proceedings? Wife just up and left me, said I was too busy squatching to be a good husband and father.

Colonel Cancer
Sep 26, 2015

Tune into the fireplace channel, you absolute buffoon
A squatch is also commonly known as the wise lawyer of the mountains, seek one out

goatface
Dec 5, 2007

I had a video of that when I was about 6.

I remember it being shit.


Grimey Drawer
If a werewolf bites a squatch does it get more or less hairy?

les enfants Terrific!
Dec 12, 2008
Werewolf gets hairer, squatch becomes a regular person.

goatface
Dec 5, 2007

I had a video of that when I was about 6.

I remember it being shit.


Grimey Drawer
That sounds like the worst of all worlds.

Bozarth
Sep 2, 2003

What fucking language are you speaking?
this was no bear.

dr_rat
Jun 4, 2001

goatface posted:

Do earth-born lizard people count as cryptids or are they just aliens?

Depends if they got an earth birth certificate/residency visa.

I remember when old McBob found Lochiess birth certificate.

Turns out Lochness monsters middle name is "fluffy". Still bummed that the Journal of biology refused my paper on the possibility of a hairy plesiosaur based on this startling evidence.

Smugworth
Apr 18, 2003

William Harry Henrytaint propositioned that brontosaurus that lives in the Amazon for feet pics

Stonehouse Beach
Feb 8, 2019
[Megathread] Poo identification – from Fouke monster floaters to Dover demon dingleberries

Yaldabaoth
Oct 9, 2012

by Azathoth
I've finally accepted that bigfoot isn't real, so I'm going to hunt homeless people who live in the woods instead :unsmigghh:

Chrs
Sep 21, 2015

Stonehouse Beach posted:

[Megathread] Poo identification – from Fouke monster floaters to Dover demon dingleberries

*posts picture of shat underwear*

Well folks the entity in my home has done it again. This time it took a poo poo right in my pants whilst I was wearing them. Can anyone help me identify which cryptid this was?

Analytic Engine
May 18, 2009

not the analytical engine
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xezvIMW2GRw

Analytic Engine
May 18, 2009

not the analytical engine
edit: I answered the question by rereading Poe's "The Gold Bug"

Analytic Engine fucked around with this message at 11:16 on Mar 21, 2023

Tree Bucket
Apr 1, 2016

R.I.P.idura leucophrys
I've devoted my life to hunting cryptids. But what happens when we find them? What becomes of us when the unknown creatures become known? Are we doomed, like Alexander, to weep at the world's edge? What if, when we catch what we were hunting, we open our grasping hands and see only emptiness?
Also has anyone got twenty bucks they can lend me, I haven;t necessarily been having a whole lot of what you'd call "food" lately

Analytic Engine
May 18, 2009

not the analytical engine

Tree Bucket posted:

I've devoted my life to hunting cryptids. But what happens when we find them? What becomes of us when the unknown creatures become known? Are we doomed, like Alexander, to weep at the world's edge? What if, when we catch what we were hunting, we open our grasping hands and see only emptiness?
Also has anyone got twenty bucks they can lend me, I haven;t necessarily been having a whole lot of what you'd call "food" lately

"Well we would, but most people who believe in Bigfoot are broke."

dr_rat
Jun 4, 2001

Tree Bucket posted:

I've devoted my life to hunting cryptids. But what happens when we find them? What becomes of us when the unknown creatures become known? Are we doomed, like Alexander, to weep at the world's edge? What if, when we catch what we were hunting, we open our grasping hands and see only emptiness?
Also has anyone got twenty bucks they can lend me, I haven;t necessarily been having a whole lot of what you'd call "food" lately

Wait wasn't the end goal to get them to come to our poker games? If I can say I beat a bigfoot at poker, well then I can die genuinely saying I had a good life.

Big Beef City
Aug 15, 2013

I miss mah boy Drew

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juggalo baby coffin
Dec 2, 2007

How would the dog wear goggles and even more than that, who makes the goggles?


im loving tired of people trying to hunt mothman

MOTHMAN IS A HERO, JACKASSES! OK???

you think hes out here using mystic powers to cause completely varied disaster styles? NO! he's trying to warn us, and he's a friend to humanity.

the fact people on this forum continue to dispute this fact is the reason that mothman hasn't been seen in recent years. there would've been no COVID if mothman had felt safe to show up, not worried some 300lb bubba in an ill-fitting realtree vest is gonna pop him with a crossbow with ten flashlights taped to it!

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