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echinopsis
Apr 13, 2004

brain/mind chat containment thread

talk about consciousness itt

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rotor
Jun 11, 2001

classic case of pineapple derangement syndrome

echinopsis posted:

talk about consciousness itt

not a big fan, honestly

echinopsis
Apr 13, 2004

when I was younger I used to think I was smart but now I am worried my brain is hosed and will prevent me from succeeding in life

echinopsis
Apr 13, 2004

got ADHDD? tell me
about it. I wonder if I have it but because I can pay my mortgage and get to work on time then maybe itís not bad enough to warrant treatment so instead iíll just be a perpetual mild failure

Video Nasty
Jun 17, 2003

I like to think of my brain as ever-shrinking because every day I forget something important I should have known for years. Į\_(ツ)_/Į

echinopsis
Apr 13, 2004

rotor posted:

not a big fan, honestly

there are clouds outside but they are in your mind

echinopsis
Apr 13, 2004

Video Nasty posted:

I like to think of my brain as ever-shrinking because every day I forget something important I should have known for years. Į\_(ツ)_/Į

:worship:

echinopsis
Apr 13, 2004

your perception is a piece of poo poo

Best Bi Geek Squid
Mar 25, 2016
op I didnít know that your moms name was ďmy brainĒ

dioxazine
Oct 14, 2004

echinopsis posted:

there are clouds outside but they are in your mind

the sky is blue because of rayleigh scattering, the clouds are white due to mie scattering

post hole digger
Mar 21, 2011

rotor posted:

not a big fan, honestly

Beeftweeter
Jun 28, 2005

a medium-format picture of beeftweeter staring silently at the camera, a quizzical expression on his face

echinopsis posted:

got ADHDD? tell me
about it. I wonder if I have it but because I can pay my mortgage and get to work on time then maybe itís not bad enough to warrant treatment so instead iíll just be a perpetual mild failure

for me it just means i get a billion thoughts all the time about complicated poo poo lol

if you can sort it out and connect them, it's actually helpful. i try to do this and seem to be able to harness it effectively, but ngl it makes concentrating pretty difficult at times. if you can't it sucks rear end

echinopsis
Apr 13, 2004

dioxazine posted:

the sky is blue because of rayleigh scattering, the clouds are white due to mie scattering

well yeah of course, but your perception of them is through an internal representation of them

everything out there exists, but what you experience is your own internal representation of them

Beeftweeter
Jun 28, 2005

a medium-format picture of beeftweeter staring silently at the camera, a quizzical expression on his face

dioxazine posted:

the sky is blue because of rayleigh scattering, the clouds are white due to mie scattering

the sky is blue on mars :)

PokeJoe
Aug 24, 2004

hail cgatan


echinopsis posted:

got ADHDD? tell me
about it. I wonder if I have it but because I can pay my mortgage and get to work on time then maybe itís not bad enough to warrant treatment so instead iíll just be a perpetual mild failure

i have it and can't really do those things so idk dude ask a pchitaratrist

echinopsis
Apr 13, 2004

Beeftweeter posted:

for me it just means i get a billion thoughts all the time about complicated poo poo lol

if you can sort it out and connect them, it's actually helpful. i try to do this and seem to be able to harness it effectively, but ngl it makes concentrating pretty difficult at times. if you can't it sucks rear end

I think the crux of it for me is that yes my mind works like that when it has things to latch onto, but as Iíve aged, the things that provide stimulation and interest become fewer and fewer. itís like Iíve lived long enough to have explored everything that interests my brain, and there is nothing left to hyperfocus on

it feels like I just donít have control over what I can put effort into. and at least years ago I had an endless horde of things to dive into but nowadays .. Iím a motivationless husk of an individual

Beeftweeter
Jun 28, 2005

a medium-format picture of beeftweeter staring silently at the camera, a quizzical expression on his face

echinopsis posted:

I think the crux of it for me is that yes my mind works like that when it has things to latch onto, but as Iíve aged, the things that provide stimulation and interest become fewer and fewer. itís like Iíve lived long enough to have explored everything that interests my brain, and there is nothing left to hyperfocus on

it feels like I just donít have control over what I can put effort into. and at least years ago I had an endless horde of things to dive into but nowadays .. Iím a motivationless husk of an individual

sounds like depression actually dude. go see a psych for a bit and try to get it sorted

Video Nasty
Jun 17, 2003

Agreeing it sounds a lot like depression. I take meds for mine but I still need to find a therapist at some point soon.

PokeJoe
Aug 24, 2004

hail cgatan


yeah theres always some new thing to focus on. the world is a lot bigger than a human life has time to dig into. it's a bottomless pit my friend

Captain Foo
May 11, 2004

we vibin'
we slidin'
we breathin'
we dyin'

echinopsis posted:

your perception is a piece of poo poo

dioxazine
Oct 14, 2004

Beeftweeter posted:

sounds like depression actually dude. go see a psych for a bit and try to get it sorted

please do get the help that you think you need, echi. even if in the end you don't need it, it's good to at least have confirmation one way or another

Beeftweeter posted:

the sky is blue on mars :)

:hai:

echinopsis
Apr 13, 2004

Beeftweeter posted:

sounds like depression actually dude. go see a psych for a bit and try to get it sorted

maybe. probably. when I read ďdriven to distractionĒ, the book just resonated with me constantly

thereís defo high correlation with adhd and depression, and over the last year or so, Iíve slowly concluded that I am not as smart or special as I once believed, and the reality is that Iíll probably be a perpetual failure, because I can only work on something I find interesting until the inevitable time I find it no longer interesting. crime committer is the latest victim. thrust game next in line

defo need to get my self sorted by a professional rather than self diagnoseses

Beeftweeter
Jun 28, 2005

a medium-format picture of beeftweeter staring silently at the camera, a quizzical expression on his face

echinopsis posted:

maybe. probably. when I read ďdriven to distractionĒ, the book just resonated with me constantly

thereís defo high correlation with adhd and depression, and over the last year or so, Iíve slowly concluded that I am not as smart or special as I once believed, and the reality is that Iíll probably be a perpetual failure, because I can only work on something I find interesting until the inevitable time I find it no longer interesting. crime committer is the latest victim. thrust game next in line

defo need to get my self sorted by a professional rather than self diagnoseses

don't sell yourself short man. shrunken heads still can be clever, sunken ships still can hold treasure :)

definitely see a psychiatrist, i think it'd be a big help. i don't take it for depression (nerve pain), but duloxetine is pretty good at banishing that kind of thinking for me anyway

HamAdams
Jun 29, 2018

yospos

echinopsis posted:

defo need to get my self sorted by a professional rather than self diagnoseses

PokeJoe
Aug 24, 2004

hail cgatan


echinopsis posted:

maybe. probably. when I read ďdriven to distractionĒ, the book just resonated with me constantly

thereís defo high correlation with adhd and depression, and over the last year or so, Iíve slowly concluded that I am not as smart or special as I once believed, and the reality is that Iíll probably be a perpetual failure, because I can only work on something I find interesting until the inevitable time I find it no longer interesting. crime committer is the latest victim. thrust game next in line

defo need to get my self sorted by a professional rather than self diagnoseses

you can have both

PokeJoe
Aug 24, 2004

hail cgatan


im very smart and a special little boy who deserves a treat

Chris Knight
Jun 5, 2002

And I'm only saying this because I care.

There are a lot of decaffeinated brands on the market today that are just as tasty as the real thing.


Fun Shoe
https://twitter.com/akiyoshikitaoka/status/1028473566193315841

The Management
Jan 2, 2010

sup, bitch?

echinopsis posted:

everything out there exists, but what you experience is your own internal representation of them

this morningís Nobel prize in physics was given to a group of people that theorized this isnít true, and then did experiments to prove it. things only exist because you observe them.

tk
Dec 10, 2003

Nap Ghost

echinopsis posted:

got ADHDD? tell me
about it. I wonder if I have it but because I can pay my mortgage and get to work on time then maybe itís not bad enough to warrant treatment so instead iíll just be a perpetual mild failure

A lot of developers I know have ADHD. Quite a few were successful without treatment but nobody who has gotten help regretted it.

Ciaphas
Nov 20, 2005

> BEWARE, COWARD :ovr:


echinopsis posted:

got ADHDD? tell me
about it. I wonder if I have it but because I can pay my mortgage and get to work on time then maybe itís not bad enough to warrant treatment so instead iíll just be a perpetual mild failure

how often do you do something like heading towards the door to go out, thinking "oh, i should grab my keys", then continue walking out the door keys ungrabbed because you forgot the thought almost as you thought it

Gnossiennes
Jan 7, 2013


Loving chairs more every day!

i have ADHD & dysthymic depression and it sucks

BaldDwarfOnPCP
Jun 26, 2019

by Pragmatica

The Management posted:

this morningís Nobel prize in physics was given to a group of people that theorized this isnít true, and then did experiments to prove it. things only exist because you observe them.

but the tree falling in the forest always has tons of observers assuming that fauna has evolved at that point

water bears at least all going this is our 9/11 and then :tif: like they do with everything

echinopsis
Apr 13, 2004

Ciaphas posted:

how often do you do something like heading towards the door to go out, thinking "oh, i should grab my keys", then continue walking out the door keys ungrabbed because you forgot the thought almost as you thought it

oh lol all the time. usually not keys because ďkeys wallet phoneĒ (as I slap all three my pockets in succession) is a routine burned into my brain, but everything else yes. Iíve kind of had to learn that if I remember something I need to do I have to act on that thought NOW else Iíll forget

the worst is (for example) when Iím doing a task at work, say pouring out the methadone, and I remember another job that needs to be done so I find myself doing another task without really ďdecidingĒ to leave one task and start another. the lack of impulse control loving sucks lol, my work colleagues point out how easily distracted I get




my understanding is that, neurologically, adhd is a lack of dopamine in the reward pathway, so the brain is seeking something to stimulate it, and then it sometimes finds something it likes and can hyperfocus on it, until it no longer provides satisfaction. and stimulants work because they effectively allow the brain to find reward in almost any task.

Beeftweeter posted:


definitely see a psychiatrist, i think it'd be a big help. i don't take it for depression (nerve pain), but duloxetine is pretty good at banishing that kind of thinking for me anyway

iím intrigued

Ciaphas
Nov 20, 2005

> BEWARE, COWARD :ovr:


echinopsis posted:

oh lol all the time. usually not keys because ďkeys wallet phoneĒ (as I slap all three my pockets in succession) is a routine burned into my brain, but everything else yes. Iíve kind of had to learn that if I remember something I need to do I have to act on that thought NOW else Iíll forget

the worst is (for example) when Iím doing a task at work, say pouring out the methadone, and I remember another job that needs to be done so I find myself doing another task without really ďdecidingĒ to leave one task and start another. the lack of impulse control loving sucks lol, my work colleagues point out how easily distracted I get

i am not a medical professional but lol that's me & my adhd described to a fuckin T. get u a psychiatrist appt echi

i'm wholly dependent on telling siri "Remind me on <day> at <time> about <thing>" even medicated (adderall), so it ain't a cure-all, but at least with it i can Concentrate On A Thing when I need to - especially poo poo I'm not interested in but have to do

Casual Encountess
Dec 14, 2005

"You can see how they go from being so sweet to tearing your face off,
just like that,
and it's amazing to have that range."


Thunderdome Exclusive

i got an adhd diagnosis at 8 so ive been dealing with managing it all my life. part of becoming powerful in my 30s was learning to see it as a strength instead of a flaw. i posted in the other thread about my overactive imagination and my teens and twenties were all about being prescribed ungodly doses of adderall and learning how to ďgrow upĒ and ďbe seriousĒ and it was hell on my body and soul. if i didnt have my breakdown and burnout at 22 and i kept being in stem i absolutely wouldve become some insane reddit incel. i did not have a personality or social skills and i was in school for engineering and i was loving miserable.

i was extremely lucky in that my one approved non stem hobby growing up was music because i was loving robbed of any other kind of artistic or emotional development growing up. i was never taught to process stuff healthily and i was so tweaked out on adderall i just siloed everything and continued to be a quiet math robot.

i took myself off at 22 and had to start from square one in a lot of ways. i graduated high school at 16, college at 20 no mattee what i was always ďimmatureĒ and the solution was to throw more adderall at it until i did my work and shut up. i had to deal with a harsh, overstimulating world i hadnt seen since i was 8. i had to spend years learning how to be a human starting from nothing and i was a hosed up little sociopath on the way through.

im 34 now and im more powerful than i have ever been. since ive finally developed healthy habits and practices i am happier than i have ever been but its been an intense, crushing amount of work. i have been majorly traumatized every few years of my adult life so it certainly took longer than most but i am so loving proud of the life ive built since then.

Casual Encountess
Dec 14, 2005

"You can see how they go from being so sweet to tearing your face off,
just like that,
and it's amazing to have that range."


Thunderdome Exclusive

so no i dont mind having vivid daydreams frequently. they remind me im alive and that i can dream again.

rotor
Jun 11, 2001

classic case of pineapple derangement syndrome

there's a book called "Visual Intelligence: How We Create What We See" by a guy named Hoffman and i highly recommend it. It basically builds up a grammar of how the brain constructs 3D scenes by noting where it fails, using lots of optical illusions. I dont know what the academic community thinks of it but i found it very interesting.

polyester concept
Mar 29, 2017

tk posted:

A lot of developers I know have ADHD. Quite a few were successful without treatment but nobody who has gotten help regretted it.

ding ding ding this is me

for me the biggest problem was executive dysfunction resulting in chronic procrastination. one time i actually ran out of gas on the road because i just didnít want to pull over and gas up. i had money, I wasnít in the middle of nowhere, just didnít want to. thatís one of the most baffling things to explain to people. this of course affected my work performance and was a constant source of struggle and anxiety for years and years. you eventually train yourself that you can only get things done under extreme stress, and itís incredibly unhealthy to live that way

im on slow release amphetamines daily, now, and every day poo poo is just remarkably easier

Sagebrush
Feb 26, 2012

is this thread going to be a cool thread about the biology of perception and cognition, or just a :2bong: thing?

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polyester concept
Mar 29, 2017

unrelated to adhd and more in line with this thread, sometimes i have this extremely profound realization that i have a consciousness and Iím a living being experiencing reality, and it gives me shivers and kind of freaks me out for a while. itís a little hard to explain and idk if thereís a name for this feeling or if itís common at all. felt it long before I ever tried drugs

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