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Beeftweeter
Jun 28, 2005

a medium-format picture of beeftweeter staring silently at the camera, a quizzical expression on his face

echinopsis posted:

got ADHDD? tell me
about it. I wonder if I have it but because I can pay my mortgage and get to work on time then maybe itís not bad enough to warrant treatment so instead iíll just be a perpetual mild failure

for me it just means i get a billion thoughts all the time about complicated poo poo lol

if you can sort it out and connect them, it's actually helpful. i try to do this and seem to be able to harness it effectively, but ngl it makes concentrating pretty difficult at times. if you can't it sucks rear end

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Beeftweeter
Jun 28, 2005

a medium-format picture of beeftweeter staring silently at the camera, a quizzical expression on his face

dioxazine posted:

the sky is blue because of rayleigh scattering, the clouds are white due to mie scattering

the sky is blue on mars :)

Beeftweeter
Jun 28, 2005

a medium-format picture of beeftweeter staring silently at the camera, a quizzical expression on his face

echinopsis posted:

I think the crux of it for me is that yes my mind works like that when it has things to latch onto, but as Iíve aged, the things that provide stimulation and interest become fewer and fewer. itís like Iíve lived long enough to have explored everything that interests my brain, and there is nothing left to hyperfocus on

it feels like I just donít have control over what I can put effort into. and at least years ago I had an endless horde of things to dive into but nowadays .. Iím a motivationless husk of an individual

sounds like depression actually dude. go see a psych for a bit and try to get it sorted

Beeftweeter
Jun 28, 2005

a medium-format picture of beeftweeter staring silently at the camera, a quizzical expression on his face

echinopsis posted:

maybe. probably. when I read ďdriven to distractionĒ, the book just resonated with me constantly

thereís defo high correlation with adhd and depression, and over the last year or so, Iíve slowly concluded that I am not as smart or special as I once believed, and the reality is that Iíll probably be a perpetual failure, because I can only work on something I find interesting until the inevitable time I find it no longer interesting. crime committer is the latest victim. thrust game next in line

defo need to get my self sorted by a professional rather than self diagnoseses

don't sell yourself short man. shrunken heads still can be clever, sunken ships still can hold treasure :)

definitely see a psychiatrist, i think it'd be a big help. i don't take it for depression (nerve pain), but duloxetine is pretty good at banishing that kind of thinking for me anyway

Beeftweeter
Jun 28, 2005

a medium-format picture of beeftweeter staring silently at the camera, a quizzical expression on his face
i have generalized anxiety also, but my psychiatrist hasn't been too shy about dishing out the benzos lol. i've been off and on them, though, for two reasons: they're insidiously addictive and also they knock me the gently caress out, especially after a round of stims

still, a decent alternative is gabapentin, which i also had tried at first to stem my nerve pain. while it's decent at that, you need a truly ridiculous dose (roughly 1.6g/day), so i figured taking it for that specifically would be pretty unhealthy eventually (my bloodwork has been fine though).

its intended use is as a mood stabilizer, though, and tbh it's actually really good at it. it's a very weird drug in general but it doesn't give me the same knockout blow that benzos do. maybe something to look into

e: i speel gud

Beeftweeter fucked around with this message at 00:43 on Oct 7, 2022

Beeftweeter
Jun 28, 2005

a medium-format picture of beeftweeter staring silently at the camera, a quizzical expression on his face

post hole digger posted:

stims and benzos you say....? maybe i do need to go to the doctor.

you don't even need to go anywhere now! lol

Beeftweeter
Jun 28, 2005

a medium-format picture of beeftweeter staring silently at the camera, a quizzical expression on his face
tried pregabalin for a bit too, shits ridiculously expensive here though and i didn't see much benefit beyond the dosage being markedly lower

Beeftweeter
Jun 28, 2005

a medium-format picture of beeftweeter staring silently at the camera, a quizzical expression on his face

polyester concept posted:

yeah. it's all about chasing that dopamine, though, and if exercise doesn't give you that hit you're after, then it's drat hard to keep it up. for a while i was seeing a personal trainer and was in the best shape of my life, but as soon as it was time to transition into going solo more often, the obligation and fear of letting another person down was gone and i just didn't care to go anymore. i never felt that "runner's high" people talk about. lifting weights never made me feel like i was cumming despite what arnold says. was seeing the trainer for 6 months straight, 3 times a week. made lifestyle changes. but despite looking better and feeling better physically, it wasn't enough.

edit: i have what they call "inattentive" adhd. it's essentially adhd without the h, and is why it often goes undiagnosed for so long - you aren't the hyperactive kid that can't sit still. it's why people so often chalk it up to depression when they hear your symptoms. probably also a reason why exercise isn't as effective. a friend of mine has the regular ol high energy adhd and says exercise does help, so...

when I first read this i knew i needed to see a psychiatrist

yup, this is pretty much me too. same with exercise, and i'm lucky i don't need to do much to stay in shape yet

i don't even usually bother making the distinction between it and adhd though because i've had psychiatrists even say "oh you mean adhd?" (no, i didn't, and no, i won't be returning, lol)

Beeftweeter
Jun 28, 2005

a medium-format picture of beeftweeter staring silently at the camera, a quizzical expression on his face

BaldDwarfOnPCP posted:

i am afraid to try/v curious about ambien and xanax and analogues but fortunately getting a lot of exercise lately so sleep comes easy and anxiety is manageable with therapy and kind of leaning in to the suck

you have to be careful with ambien imo. my wife also has anxiety and has much more trouble sleeping than i do, so she was given an ambien rx

i always figured it would lead to trouble with her because when she was trying it out at first, she'd just randomly dart up in bed and start saying random jibberish in korean. then one day i woke up with her ranting about how lazy i am (for sleeping, lmao), got up when i asked her what's wrong, and promptly ate poo poo and fell over on her metal laptop stand. needed 6 stitches in her knee and hasn't taken it again since

alprazolam otoh knocks her out cold after about half an hour and she doesn't just shoot up randomly babbling about whatever anymore either

Beeftweeter
Jun 28, 2005

a medium-format picture of beeftweeter staring silently at the camera, a quizzical expression on his face

Gnossiennes posted:

i might confuse a conical blend for g2, especially if the surfaces it's transitioning are pretty simple, but i'd like to think i can differentiate between g3 surface transitions and that :smug:

but then again, i rarely design for injection molding, and have used surfacing like twice in my career lol. and if i tried speccing a conical fillet for a machined part i'm pretty sure i'd get canned

buddy, i'm so loving nearsighted i'd mistake a g3 for a performa

Beeftweeter
Jun 28, 2005

a medium-format picture of beeftweeter staring silently at the camera, a quizzical expression on his face
my dog is extremely good at throwing and catching stuff

and also divides his kibble into little groups of four for some reason. idk. he's lazy as hell too

Beeftweeter
Jun 28, 2005

a medium-format picture of beeftweeter staring silently at the camera, a quizzical expression on his face
yeah i used to pop like 4 sudafed to get poo poo done before i got some amphetamines prescribed

it works but you crash like a motherfucker and it really fucks with your blood pressure and heart rate. if you're going to abuse it please be careful

Beeftweeter
Jun 28, 2005

a medium-format picture of beeftweeter staring silently at the camera, a quizzical expression on his face

echinopsis posted:

only time will tell

he already had a heart attack

Beeftweeter
Jun 28, 2005

a medium-format picture of beeftweeter staring silently at the camera, a quizzical expression on his face
it's absolutely pretty hard and i feel like it's gotten worse and more difficult to control since the pandemic started. i don't have any tips here really because it's something i still struggle with greatly

Beeftweeter
Jun 28, 2005

a medium-format picture of beeftweeter staring silently at the camera, a quizzical expression on his face
stims help but they're not a panacea, you still have to actually do whatever it is that needs to be done. that can be surprisingly difficult

a lot of times amphetamine just makes me hyperfocus on something that's total bullshit. if i start playing a game to unwind a bit i usually want to keep playing, and whoops! turns out i've been playing for 8 hours, but look how far i got in beating majora's mask for the 30th time

as a result i don't really even play games anymore but the same concept applies to reading a wiki article or something. it sucks

Beeftweeter
Jun 28, 2005

a medium-format picture of beeftweeter staring silently at the camera, a quizzical expression on his face
afaik they don't give meth to disobedient children down there. sad, really

Beeftweeter
Jun 28, 2005

a medium-format picture of beeftweeter staring silently at the camera, a quizzical expression on his face
yeah what the gently caress lmao don't start taking street meth

Beeftweeter
Jun 28, 2005

a medium-format picture of beeftweeter staring silently at the camera, a quizzical expression on his face
to be fair if i knew i was near death i'd probably want to go out high as gently caress on whatever i could get my hands on lol

maybe not meth though. might accidentally live longer

Beeftweeter
Jun 28, 2005

a medium-format picture of beeftweeter staring silently at the camera, a quizzical expression on his face
hes saying you're sabotaging yourself

Beeftweeter
Jun 28, 2005

a medium-format picture of beeftweeter staring silently at the camera, a quizzical expression on his face

echinopsis posted:

is there really a difference? 🧐

i think so. for me at least if i know something is objectively not true then there is very little chance i can be convinced otherwise, especially by my own brain

some people might be able to compartmentalize that poo poo effectively but its beyond me i guess

Beeftweeter
Jun 28, 2005

a medium-format picture of beeftweeter staring silently at the camera, a quizzical expression on his face

nudgenudgetilt posted:

holy loving ocd. few weeks into starting an ssri, and my ocd has gone nuts. i've ordered the same meal from a local restaurant 19 days in a row now. several days i haven't even eaten it, but simply ordering it makes my stomach settle. guess it's time for another visit with the doc

i'm sorry to hear this but i also want to know which dish lol

Beeftweeter
Jun 28, 2005

a medium-format picture of beeftweeter staring silently at the camera, a quizzical expression on his face
i am really loathe to say this but: could be worse lol

Beeftweeter
Jun 28, 2005

a medium-format picture of beeftweeter staring silently at the camera, a quizzical expression on his face
the amphetamine shortage is really loving with my productivity

and i hate that there sentence i just wrote

Beeftweeter
Jun 28, 2005

a medium-format picture of beeftweeter staring silently at the camera, a quizzical expression on his face

Gnossiennes posted:

:same: i'm slightly relieved that my impending unemployment is coinciding with me being unable to fill my addy prescription, but it also sucks because i need to find a new psychiatrist and that's going to be hard as poo poo alongside this shortage. and I ran out of my 15mg rx two weeks ago and still can't get it filled :( i am getting by with a smaller dose, but good god it sucks.

sometimes it's both depression and ADHD. also dysthymia fuckin sucks.

yep, it's been going on three weeks for me aaand last month i couldn't get any at all because you can't transfer controlled substance prescriptions between pharmacies in ny :cool:

poo poo loving sucks. i suspect the lack of dopamine has been making me hella depressed too

you might want to try getting on medicaid if you're eligible, it was very easy to do in ny (especially if you control your income by being a contractor, lol)

Beeftweeter
Jun 28, 2005

a medium-format picture of beeftweeter staring silently at the camera, a quizzical expression on his face
technically they can (or at least used to be able to), back when i was recovering from surgery i got a sympathetic pharmacist to transfer opiate prescriptions between duane reedes, but they cautioned that it might not work and would be a one-off

when i asked capsule to do that though they were just like "no. ask your provider for a new rx" and lmao @ that. i can't even get them to do that for non-controlled substances without paying out the rear end for an appointment

Beeftweeter
Jun 28, 2005

a medium-format picture of beeftweeter staring silently at the camera, a quizzical expression on his face
i am not dealing with this well at all holy poo poo

Beeftweeter
Jun 28, 2005

a medium-format picture of beeftweeter staring silently at the camera, a quizzical expression on his face

echinopsis posted:

what? the global stimulant shortage?

how productive do you need to be?


feel for you buddy

yeah they were supposed to get a shipment today apparently. but they didn't :argh:

i got stuff to do

Beeftweeter
Jun 28, 2005

a medium-format picture of beeftweeter staring silently at the camera, a quizzical expression on his face
yeah drat sorry to hear that nudge. i've only had one actual panic attack once but i wouldn't want it to happen again

totally get the other thing too. some of the questions i got asked when someone stole my benzo script and went to the er for a refill freaked them out enough that they took away my belt and watch(??) :rolleyes: like thanks thats really helping my fragile anxiety guys

after about 8 loving hours i was given a rx for 5 pills at a quarter of my normal dosage. loving useless, good doctors are extremely rare

e: removed a bit in case you feel like editing that

Beeftweeter fucked around with this message at 06:31 on Feb 16, 2023

Beeftweeter
Jun 28, 2005

a medium-format picture of beeftweeter staring silently at the camera, a quizzical expression on his face
how do i get myself to do things

this is so frustrating

Beeftweeter
Jun 28, 2005

a medium-format picture of beeftweeter staring silently at the camera, a quizzical expression on his face

mystes posted:

Just don't do things

need money. money me etc

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QXDU-XN9Mxs

Beeftweeter
Jun 28, 2005

a medium-format picture of beeftweeter staring silently at the camera, a quizzical expression on his face

Gnossiennes posted:

from my experience: wait until it's imminently last minute and feel that beautiful fire burning under your rear end

this is pretty much where i'm at and usually would do this but it's not working this time :sigh:

idk this just sucks and i hate disappointing the mrs like this. she is being insanely supportive and very very understanding but i can see its palpable

Beeftweeter
Jun 28, 2005

a medium-format picture of beeftweeter staring silently at the camera, a quizzical expression on his face
extremely bad timing ios

Beeftweeter
Jun 28, 2005

a medium-format picture of beeftweeter staring silently at the camera, a quizzical expression on his face

mystes posted:

I think android does something similar if you sync your photos or something and whenever I hear people talking about it it's a similar situation. I don't think I've heard people say that they're genuinely happy to reminded of stuff by these features but maybe that says more about the people I know, idk.

seriously i was already feeling really sad brain and that just pushed it over the edge

wtf, what a terrible feature. the goutse thread also confirms: it just makes you feel like poo poo

Beeftweeter
Jun 28, 2005

a medium-format picture of beeftweeter staring silently at the camera, a quizzical expression on his face

polyester concept posted:

seriously the answer to most of these questions is amphetamines

canít recommend them enough

still out of stock. going on two months now

Beeftweeter
Jun 28, 2005

a medium-format picture of beeftweeter staring silently at the camera, a quizzical expression on his face

nudgenudgetilt posted:

i've never had a scrip for benzos but lorazepam is pretty much the go-to any time i land in the er. honestly been afraid to ask for the scrip because i fear if i ask they'll cut me off in the er.

feeling way better today, thankfully

glad to hear you're feeling better

yeah, it's a crapshoot and if you overdo it or they get stolen (or whatever scenario) the w/ds are absolute hell. anxiety just gets magnified like 100x. takes like a loving month to recover also

but, they are also probably the most effective thing for short-circuiting anxiety that i've tried. they're really really good at it, particularly alprazolam: hits fast and hard

Beeftweeter
Jun 28, 2005

a medium-format picture of beeftweeter staring silently at the camera, a quizzical expression on his face

echinopsis posted:

I know and hate this feeling. youíre doing ok bro, mrs really does understand and sheís not disappointed in you, and you got mates here too

life is just a bitch

thanks echi

i mean this sincerely: i'm grateful for you all

Beeftweeter
Jun 28, 2005

a medium-format picture of beeftweeter staring silently at the camera, a quizzical expression on his face
i'm sorry to hear that echi. i hope you can work it out

Beeftweeter
Jun 28, 2005

a medium-format picture of beeftweeter staring silently at the camera, a quizzical expression on his face
that is 100% add behavior

e: both echi's thing and joe's whiteboard lol

Beeftweeter
Jun 28, 2005

a medium-format picture of beeftweeter staring silently at the camera, a quizzical expression on his face

PokeJoe posted:

It absolutely is. You clearly care and recognize you hosed it up badly, but knowing your problems doesnt fix them

E:lol

yeah. it might sound enabling to say "it's really not your fault" but, echi, it's really not. joe is right, you don't consciously choose how to think

you can recognize these behaviors and try to modify them but that's about it. not actually acting on it isn't really a personal failing

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Beeftweeter
Jun 28, 2005

a medium-format picture of beeftweeter staring silently at the camera, a quizzical expression on his face

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