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Here's a thread where everyone talks like an American for my amusement. Go! |
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Oct 10, 2022 12:48
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| # ¿ Apr 27, 2024 21:17 |
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American cuisine is dictated entirely by the fact that the dairy industry needs an outlet. Behind every cowboy is whole bunch of people eating cheese. |
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Oct 12, 2022 18:51
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Chewbecca posted:fffffff |
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Oct 15, 2022 14:26
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Pro click. |
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Oct 20, 2022 14:05
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Last one in's a rotten egg!!!!!! |
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Oct 23, 2022 21:59
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Gee, for a minute there, I though I was a gonner! (chugs iced tea) |
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Oct 25, 2022 12:27
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Lock and load! |
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Oct 26, 2022 14:13
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Cowabunga dudes! |
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Oct 27, 2022 14:09
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American #1: You're a crazy cat lady! American#2: I know you are but what am I? |
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Nov 1, 2022 11:23
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"Get off your tuckas and get your tushie in gear before I beat your hiney!" e: "I'm tired of seeing Christmas decorations right after Halloween. Do people not realise there's a holiday between Haloween and Christmas called Thanksgiving?!" Prurient Squid fucked around with this message at 13:08 on Nov 8, 2022 |
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Nov 5, 2022 17:50
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American #1: You're a bitch rear end punk rear end... American #2: The word you're looking for is BADass! |
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Nov 11, 2022 18:45
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American child: Give me cotton candy for chrissakes. American parent: I'll give you all the cotton candy on God's green earth. |
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Nov 12, 2022 12:37
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Kid: Can I play soccer? Mom? Soccermon: I don't give a care. Kid: Awesome! |
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Nov 12, 2022 18:50
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American: [Is self-confident] |
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Nov 14, 2022 11:24
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American mother: Follow your dreams! |
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Nov 14, 2022 14:22
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American parent: Share your toys with that child Patriotic son: Get big government off our backs! |
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Nov 14, 2022 15:03
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Truth, justice and buttloads of candycorn. edit: If they candy corn up in a dictionary they'd see a picture of your mom. Prurient Squid fucked around with this message at 00:23 on Nov 15, 2022 |
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Nov 15, 2022 00:06
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What seems to be the problem officer? Officer: You do the math! edit: Man: The math was a no brainer! Officer: [fires gun] Prurient Squid fucked around with this message at 13:01 on Nov 19, 2022 |
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Nov 19, 2022 11:58
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American: [has a higher pitched voice than expected] |
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Nov 21, 2022 23:32
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Vincent Van Go was eating Yohgurt. That's all I got. |
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Nov 25, 2022 12:17
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rear end-penny posted:"did you hear about the shooting?" "the one by the cop" "which one?" |
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Nov 26, 2022 15:01
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Big Dairy got us all by the balls. Ya'll country is a cow with a nation attached. |
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Nov 26, 2022 18:24
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American #1: I hate stink bugs. American #2: I don't give a rat's rear end. |
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Nov 28, 2022 12:20
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American: I'm going to the bathroom. British person: Enjoy your bath. |
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Dec 1, 2022 10:39
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In the second Dirk Gently book there's an American woman whose whole thing was that she couldn't get it into her head that she can't get take away pizza in London. I guess back in the 70s or whatever Britain didn't have take away pizza and America did and it was a thing. But honestly that's just as weird for me. We're all becoming American very slowly and insidiously I guess. |
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Dec 1, 2022 15:09
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Chewbecca posted:What do Americans even do with the hotel ice? I'm glad that someone else asked! 
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Dec 2, 2022 18:59
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Me watching Captain N as a kid and wondering what on earth an "eggpant" is. edit: I'm not fixing the typo. Prurient Squid fucked around with this message at 19:58 on Dec 2, 2022 |
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Dec 2, 2022 19:54
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I know what people use it for. But for the benefit of others in this thread could you explain it? I'll tell you how much you got right. |
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Dec 2, 2022 20:06
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American: This pain in the rear end is bustin' my balls. That's it, I'm buying a gun. |
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Dec 2, 2022 20:29
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This wasn't even the Stewart Lee sketch I was looking for. But it works. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PwkKiBTwCE0 |
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Dec 3, 2022 11:12
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42 00:02:35,520 --> 00:02:37,988 The Americans were the great stand-ups of the past. 43 00:02:38,040 --> 00:02:40,349 Arguably they've been eclipsed now by the British stand-ups 44 00:02:40,400 --> 00:02:43,153 and the Australians and New Zealanders, 45 00:02:43,200 --> 00:02:45,316 but I still love going to see the American stand-ups. 46 00:02:45,360 --> 00:02:47,351 I love the American stand-ups. 47 00:02:47,400 --> 00:02:49,391 Cos what I like to see is someone come out 48 00:02:49,440 --> 00:02:51,670 and say what the nationality of their mother was 49 00:02:51,720 --> 00:02:54,871 and then what the nationality of their father was 50 00:02:54,920 --> 00:02:57,229 and then combine those two things for comic effect, 51 00:02:57,280 --> 00:03:00,113 often for as long as three, three-and-a-half minutes. 52 00:03:00,160 --> 00:03:03,311 I like to see the American stand-ups come out and go... 53 00:03:03,360 --> 00:03:07,319 (AMERICAN ACCENT) "Hey, my mom was Italian 54 00:03:07,360 --> 00:03:10,079 "and my dad was from Lithuania, 55 00:03:10,120 --> 00:03:12,953 "so when I see a chorizo sausage, 56 00:03:13,000 --> 00:03:16,470 "I don't know whether to eat it or shove it up my rear end." 57 00:03:18,440 --> 00:03:20,271 (NORMAL ACCENT) Love to see American stand-ups. 58 00:03:20,320 --> 00:03:22,959 Some go... (AMERICAN ACCENT) "Hey, my mom was French 59 00:03:23,000 --> 00:03:26,515 "and my dad was from Spain, 60 00:03:26,560 --> 00:03:28,676 "so when I see a baguette 61 00:03:28,720 --> 00:03:32,269 "I don't know whether to eat it or shove it up my rear end." 62 00:03:33,560 --> 00:03:35,869 (NORMAL ACCENT) Love to see the American stand-ups. 63 00:03:35,920 --> 00:03:40,357 (AMERICAN ACCENT) "Hey, my mom was Irish 64 00:03:40,400 --> 00:03:43,312 "and my dad was from Jamaica, 65 00:03:43,360 --> 00:03:45,590 "so when I see a plantain, 66 00:03:45,640 --> 00:03:49,758 "I don't know whether to eat it or shove it up my rear end." |
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Dec 12, 2022 13:38
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The dame was slap happy. Hot Diggity. |
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Dec 13, 2022 11:21
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You boob! You nitwit! Why I aughta... |
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Dec 22, 2022 14:18
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[joins a sex cult] |
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Dec 24, 2022 02:44
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Do Americans join sex cults and drink coffee as much as I think they do? |
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Dec 24, 2022 14:26
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Time to start up the old jalopy. |
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Dec 24, 2022 22:51
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It's time for sex, cults and rock and roll. And coffeee. |
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Dec 25, 2022 14:01
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American child: Should I follow my dream mommy? American mother: Yes. |
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Jan 1, 2023 15:35
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[makes a romantic gesture] |
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Jan 12, 2023 16:38
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| # ¿ Apr 27, 2024 21:17 |
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[pays a compliment] |
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Jan 12, 2023 18:04
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