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Oh Don Piano posted:I woke up this morning with a bad hangover and my penis was dirty. Its disgusting you see. OP痴 wife claims another victim
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Oct 14, 2022 13:31
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My beleaguered butt hole
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Oct 14, 2022 14:33
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[Chorus: Cmoney] drat, why she poo poo up on my poo poo? drat, she shitted on my dick drat, why she poo poo up on my poo poo? [Verse 1: Cmoney] drat, she was riding and started farting I was like "What the gently caress, is you farting?" She said "Nah" bitch, why you lying? Then I seen drops coming out her rear end drat, she farted on my dick drat, then she shitted drat, that's a combo Killing poo poo bitch call me Rambo Bitch nasty why she poo poo up on my dick? Bitch nasty with a nasty clit drat, now I got a nasty dick drat Bitch was riding and she farted Came to the party and she looking good Got to the room and she licked it good She pulled down her pants and I was like Ughhh drat, you ugly drat, that bitch was ugly All I seen was her from behind That rear end was so big, yeah it caught my eyes [Chorus: Cmoney] But drat, she farted on my dick drat, she shitted on my poo poo Man, that's some hosed up poo poo Man, she farted on my dick [Bridge: Cmoney] She sharted on my poo poo, fam You a nasty bitch Nasty hoe, oh, nasty hoe You a nasty hoe, go and wash your pussy hoe [Chorus: Cmoney] drat, she farted on my dick She shitted on my poo poo She shitted on my poo poo [Outro] Never gently caress with wit I'm never loving with her again Never ever ever ever ever man Ever ever ever ever That bitch smell like smokey on Friday Taking a poo poo, on my dick Bitch is you crazy? I should smack that bitch Ooh, ugh That's a nasty bitch I can't even finish this song 'cause I'm so loving disgusted man
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Oct 14, 2022 14:56
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Hello, reddit. this is my first post on r/relationships so please be gentle. My wife calls my dick "swamp thing" and puts on the monster mash song every time we have sex. I think this is affecting my self esteem. Please advise? Update: No I will not wash my penis. Soap ruins my natural biome.
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Oct 14, 2022 15:06
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bossy lady posted:Hello, reddit. this is my first post on r/relationships so please be gentle. My wife calls my dick "swamp thing" and puts on the monster mash song every time we have sex. I think this is affecting my self esteem. Please advise? 
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Oct 14, 2022 15:08
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your a silly billy with a dirty willy
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Oct 14, 2022 15:10
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bossy lady posted:Hello, reddit. this is my first post on r/relationships so please be gentle. My wife calls my dick "swamp thing" and puts on the monster mash song every time we have sex. I think this is affecting my self esteem. Please advise? lol
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Oct 14, 2022 15:12
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bossy lady posted:Hello, reddit. this is my first post on r/relationships so please be gentle. My wife calls my dick "swamp thing" and puts on the monster mash song every time we have sex. I think this is affecting my self esteem. Please advise? Lean in, imo. Insist on being called the Toxic Avenger. Or see if you can get some moss growing in there. Demand she calls you Man-Thing and then just stop communicating apart from matching her emotional state.
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Oct 14, 2022 15:15
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Lysol your dong
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Oct 14, 2022 15:24
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OP was wacking and doing ball stuff with his area
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Oct 14, 2022 15:31
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the best way to clean a dirty dick also worked for our Founding Fathers: sound a broken mercury thermometer
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Oct 14, 2022 15:34
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Sterilisation is often performed with heat, steam, ionising radiation, microwaves, hydrogen peroxide vapour, ozone or formaldehyde vapour. So try boiling some hydrogen peroxide and waving your glans around in the steam.
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Oct 14, 2022 15:34
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[to the tune of little miss can't be wrong] dirty dick dirty dick dirty dick grimy schlong
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Oct 14, 2022 15:34
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lil glans
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Oct 14, 2022 15:35
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Mr Clean, rescue this man's dirty dick!
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Oct 14, 2022 15:40
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Alternatively, set your steam iron to "wool" and really press down on your floppy dick. Flatten it into a mouth scalding poptart. Get it paper thin. Smoosh that little bad boy into a 2D object. Then turn it over and do the other side.
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Oct 14, 2022 15:42
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goatface posted:Alternatively, set your steam iron to "wool" and really press down on your floppy dick. Flatten it into a mouth scalding poptart. Get it paper thin. Smoosh that little bad boy into a 2D object. I think I have a new fetish, thanks
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Oct 14, 2022 15:44
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Some dicks are dishwasher safe op hth
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Oct 14, 2022 15:47
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Colonel Cancer posted:Some dicks are dishwasher safe op hth I invented a dishwasher u can stick ur dick into.
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Oct 14, 2022 15:50
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dickwasher safe dick
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Oct 14, 2022 15:51
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I wear a tide pod as a condom
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Oct 14, 2022 15:51
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That DICK! posted:[to the tune of little miss can't be wrong] dirty dick dirty dick dirty dick grimy schlong Username/post
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Oct 14, 2022 16:18
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Wrap that hog in mulch and muslin, seed it with some sporse and get magics growing down there. Make your junk into a hallucinogenic forest glade.
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Oct 14, 2022 16:22
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OP might be drew
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Oct 14, 2022 16:23
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Piggy Smalls posted:Wife had a bad vaginal infection of some sort. She told me “I need to figure out what venereal disease you gave me since my cooch is hurting”. Doctor runs tests and I don’t have VD. But her doctor said it could be your man’s hygiene. What kind of man complains about 'only' having the choice of blowjobs or anal? Also, I suggest you invite a trusted mutual friend over to inspect both your genitals and be the judge of which of you has the filthiest (the Judge's decision is final). And if he's a guy maybe he could fill the, err, vacancy. This might be a little personal, but could there perhaps be some other mode of transmission, like, say, you taking a poo poo and not washing your hands before fingering the Mrs?
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Oct 14, 2022 16:32
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Yet another goon marriage fails due to a complete inability to apply any sort of  to an easily solvable problem. 
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Oct 14, 2022 16:37
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Pour some fine talc all over your dick and really go to town on your wife for a healthy abrasive clean of everyone involved.
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Oct 14, 2022 16:39
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Dirtydick Dirtydick Dirtydick Dirtydick I made my girlfriend sick with dong She thought I was cheating Doctor says she was wrong Dirtydick's layered in filth And when we bang-bang bang It's all germs to the hilt But something's bugging me Something ain't right I wash my penis Once per fortnight And now she's saying she'll give me head I'm offended I said we should do this instead Spray my dick down with lysol Cause bacteria's coating both of my balls Spray my dick down with lysol I don't wanna wash my dick cause I'm a guy Spray my dick down with lysol When it comes to men you got the low roll Spray my dick down with lysol, ah Don't make me shower tonight Vaginosis my junk will apply, yeah yeah
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Oct 14, 2022 17:01
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Piggy Smalls? More like Dicky Smells.
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Oct 14, 2022 17:04
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If you say dirty dick dirty dick dirty dick in the bathroom mirror with the lights off, a smelly ol' hog will give you a bacterial infection
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Oct 14, 2022 17:08
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Stinky and blue veined! People pay loads of money for cheese just like that!
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Oct 14, 2022 17:08
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Cumbozola
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Oct 14, 2022 17:11
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Oct 14, 2022 17:17
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Suck urself off a lil beforehand to clean it duh
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Oct 14, 2022 17:19
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Or a lot idk you do you
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Oct 14, 2022 17:20
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Just gently caress her in the rear end op there痴 literal poo poo in there your dick ain稚 making that any dirtier
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Oct 14, 2022 17:22
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Come on, please clean my dirty dick It's making my wife very sick Soap and water does the trick Oh doctor please clean, clean, cleaner
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Oct 14, 2022 17:30
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There once was a man with a dick So stinky it made his wife sick But his swamp he won't clean Lest his hog once pristine Becomes in girth an inch less thick
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Oct 14, 2022 17:41
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just rub topical antibiotic cream on it before you go in, doubles as lube, and tastes great
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Oct 14, 2022 17:42
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Clean a man's dick and he'll gently caress his wife for one day Teach him to clean his dick and he'll be gay for the rest of his life!
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Oct 14, 2022 17:43
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