Register a SA Forums Account here!
JOINING THE SA FORUMS WILL REMOVE THIS BIG AD, THE ANNOYING UNDERLINED ADS, AND STUPID INTERSTITIAL ADS!!!

You can: log in, read the tech support FAQ, or request your lost password. This dumb message (and those ads) will appear on every screen until you register! Get rid of this crap by registering your own SA Forums Account and joining roughly 150,000 Goons, for the one-time price of $9.95! We charge money because it costs us money per month for bills, and since we don't believe in showing ads to our users, we try to make the money back through forum registrations.
 
  • Post
  • Reply
acejackson42
Mar 27, 2005

You didn't say what I think you said...
This happened a couple of weeks ago and more details have come to bear that make it a ridiculous story.

Back home, out with friends, go to what was the popular bar when we were kids and it's pretty much the same - top 20 music, sports on the even bigger TVs, and karaoke Friday$! Every Friday was a karaoke night and one lucky singer would win their table's tab for the night. Was a straight up draw, but it was fun! A dead, relaxed bar would become a hotbed for one night a week.

This turned out to be a Friday. Place was packed. For karaoke. With money on the line. No, no one in my party sang, there was no grievance over karaoke performances, none of that factors into the story.

What it does is establish there was a crowd, and there were witnesses to what happened next.

It's my best friend, my cousin and myself. All of us have had a few drinks reminiscing about the old days, but we're probably still sober enough to drive. This is important later.

We're outside waiting for my friend's WIFE to pick us up, with a couple dozen other people milling around having smokes, when this cacophony spills down from hill that leads to the hotel next door.

Turns out, a couple and their boyfriend were having a fight. And it came to blows. These people were trying to KO each other and nothing was going to stop them. Their poo poo spilled out from the hotel lounge into our smoking area and I just happened to be the one closest to them.

I stepped up to try and break it up, step between them and the one dude straight up plows me in the face. Like, they had this planned or something. Go into a crowd, start a fight while faking a fight and see what happens.

Thing is, he can't punch. It stuns me for a second, but doesn't even dislodge my glasses, so I can see what happens next.

My cousin, who can throw a punch, caves the guy's head in. That's what I thought at first, because his face SHIFTED on his skull. And that turns out that's exactly what happened. My cousin, 6-foot-8 and 350 pounds of strongman muscle, saw that the dude was going to hit me, was ready, and ended the whole situation by hitting the guy so hard it fractured his upper and lower jaws across his face while shattering his orbital in the process.

Cops showed up and we thought we were doomed. The guy was in the back of an ambulance with his face crushed and a couple of methies saying we attacked them, but the crowd said otherwise, as did the bouncer who saved the crushed-face guy's life by making sure he was stabilized until the ambulance got there.

I don't know what the morale of this story is, but I just wanted to tell it because it was the most ridiculous night I've been a part of in decades.

Maybe don't do meth and go looking for fights?

Adbot
ADBOT LOVES YOU

Dixville
Nov 4, 2008

Your Best Paw Forward
Ham Wrangler
I saw a guy almost fight people over karaoke once. He was an angry drunk apparently and got extremely pissed that the same guy kept going on and doing absolutely horrible karaoke. The guy was really good at karaoke to the point that he won contests and stuff. Man that guy loved his karaoke and was ready to fight in its honor. I wish I liked something that much

acejackson42
Mar 27, 2005

You didn't say what I think you said...

Dixville posted:

I saw a guy almost fight people over karaoke once. He was an angry drunk apparently and got extremely pissed that the same guy kept going on and doing absolutely horrible karaoke. The guy was really good at karaoke to the point that he won contests and stuff. Man that guy loved his karaoke and was ready to fight in its honor. I wish I liked something that much

Honest to god, I wish this had been over karaoke. Would have made more sense. Why just walk into a crowd faking a fight and try and deck someone? That's not ending well, ever.

Flowers for QAnon
May 20, 2019



I too like to inject myself in the middle of methhead fights. Real mojo booster

thin blue whine
Feb 20, 2004
PLEASE SEE POLICY


Soiled Meat

excellent post/avatar combo op

acejackson42
Mar 27, 2005

You didn't say what I think you said...

Flowers for QAnon posted:

I too like to inject myself in the middle of methhead fights. Real mojo booster

Got exactly what I deserved, man. Not going to have a man mountain next me next time.

RapturesoftheDeep
Jan 6, 2013
I too have the "Dude it's not worth it" gene where you instinctively try to break up/defuse fights. The last time I did it, I"m pretty sure the aggressor was a guy who'd invited me to a gay cocaine sex party a few months before, and who I've had drinks with since.

Not sure where it comes from, I guess just teenage punk rock shows and working in a bar a few years. It's probably not the safest thing to do, but it hasn't hurt me yet.

Nooner
Mar 26, 2011

AN A+ OPSTER (:
did ur cousin get arrested?

Chinatown
Sep 11, 2001
Probation
Can't post for 20 hours!
Fun Shoe
i read tha thread title as "face shitted"

Toxic Mental
Jun 1, 2019

ENERGY FUCKING PILLS BITCH
so he basically did the mortal kombat 11 scorpion fatality where he cuts the dude's face off

acejackson42
Mar 27, 2005

You didn't say what I think you said...

Nooner posted:

did ur cousin get arrested?

Nope. Not even questioned after that night.

acejackson42
Mar 27, 2005

You didn't say what I think you said...

Toxic Mental posted:

so he basically did the mortal kombat 11 scorpion fatality where he cuts the dude's face off

Jesus, man, if he'd have caught him a bit cleaner, it might have been some sort of the facial version of an internal decapitation.

Toxic Mental
Jun 1, 2019

ENERGY FUCKING PILLS BITCH
Let me know which MK11 character is closest to the guy who your friend de-faced :nws: duh

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7robInOkvSs

naem
May 29, 2011

acejackson42 posted:

a couple and their boyfriend

a who and their what now?

STABASS
Apr 18, 2009

Fun Shoe
I can end fights with a single look. your cousin could learn a lot from someone like me

acejackson42
Mar 27, 2005

You didn't say what I think you said...

Toxic Mental posted:

Let me know which MK11 character is closest to the guy who your friend de-faced :nws: duh

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7robInOkvSs

Hah, seen this. One where the loser gets their face cut off and their tongue is hanging out is probably pretty close.

acejackson42
Mar 27, 2005

You didn't say what I think you said...

naem posted:

a who and their what now?

Literally as it's written.

Meth is a hell of a drug, apparently.

STABASS posted:

I can end fights with a single look. your cousin could learn a lot from someone like me

Dude, no one I know is ever going to ever get into a fight with someone named STABASS. The allcaps make it pretty clear what's going to happen.

Literally A Person
May 17, 2017

Chinatown posted:

i read tha thread title as "face shitted"

:big lol:

PureEvil6_13
Jun 1, 2004

I LIKE PETA AND THINK THAT SCIENCE IS EVIL
I've seen this happen once. Lynard Skynard/Bad Company/Drivin n' Cryin concert in 92 or 93 at the Kansas Coliseum. My friends and I had seat tickets but they let anyone on the floor, so we made our way to the front of the stage with all of the hardcore biker dudes. When Bad Company finished the lights came on while we waited for Drivin n' Cryin to come on and some skinny drunk dude started pushing on one of the biggest biker dudes in the place. To his credit the biker dude tried to turn away from the guy a few times, but skinny just wouldn't leave him alone.
After one last push in the back, the biker turns around and unleashes a right cross square onto skinnys jaw. Sent him to the loving shadow realm, skinny was out, eyes rolled up in his head, the whole deal. However, big biker dude was inexplicably fast, and dropped another bomb on skinnys jaw and it was terrifying. I totally know what you mean by face shifted. Skinnys jaw looked like in the cartoons where when they get hit in the head so hard their whole head spins around several times. His bottom teeth could have touched his ear.

Biker dude was shuffled away by his buddies and skinny was dragged off into the shadows. Damndest thing I ever saw.

CumBlast Radius Jr
Nov 1, 2022

by Azathoth
Ive only seen a few good punches, uppercuts that just turn a head and drop a person.

Its usually when they drop under their full weight and hit the street or side walk and their head just makes a crainial conk-smack that I feel kinda sick.

Adbot
ADBOT LOVES YOU

Deep Glove Bruno
Sep 4, 2015

yung swamp thang

CumBlast Radius Jr posted:

Ive only seen a few good punches, uppercuts that just turn a head and drop a person.

Its usually when they drop under their full weight and hit the street or side walk and their head just makes a crainial conk-smack that I feel kinda sick.

Yeah a coworker friend of mine died from a punch like that - it was a sucker punch in the back of the head as he walked away from the guy. I think the sidewalk impact is what killed him. The dude surely did not intend to risk prison for manslaughter or murder or whatever the charge was, but the chance is always there. It made me look at knockout punches outside of like, a boxing ring, in a different light.

edit: to be clear, it wasn't a fight, it was an argument. A single punch/street impact is enough to kill somebody

  • 1
  • 2
  • 3
  • 4
  • 5
  • Post
  • Reply