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Poohs Packin
Jan 13, 2019

they watch thinking its gonna be an epic own but it just gets them punished even harder.

I remember getting shoved around and shouting "WHAT IS YOUR MAJOR MALFUNCTION" because I was like 9 and had somehow managed to watch Full Metal Jacket from behind the bannister when I was meant to be in bed.

Clearly I was nowhere near as intimidating as R. Lee Ermey as Gunnery Sergeant Hartman and just got shoved around even harder.

Probably earlier in life I recited the "I'm giving you to the count of ten.." speech from Home Alone to a bully and got sent to the principals office and asked about the whole "pump your guys full of led" bit and where I had heard it. I explained "HOME ALONE THANKS" or whatever and that I had seen it at "GRANDMAS", and never heard much else about it.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Tlwda9S58Lg - Basically I relate super hard to the "god and anime" kid.

Suburban jabroni twinks like myself had it in our heads that we could give an epic speech that would pwn our enemies so hard they would ultimately concede, seeing the error of their ways. In reality, we were just way more hilarious, weirder, an easy to bully.

anyways thanks for listenign thats what this thread is about

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STABASS
Apr 18, 2009

Fun Shoe
sorry that happened to you

i must compose
Jul 4, 2010

Until the lions have their own historians, the history of the hunt will always glorify the hunter.
Kids who yell like Goku charging up their power level

Poohs Packin
Jan 13, 2019

i must compose posted:

Kids who yell like Goku charging up their power level

MY POWER LEVEL IS OVER 5000!

As I'm getting whipped with a towerl by a 9th grader with back hair.

BAGS FLY AT NOON
Apr 6, 2011



This isnít even my final form

Pot Smoke Phoenix
Aug 15, 2007

Smoke 'em if you got 'em!

Dinosaur Gum
"Fly, you fools!"

A Balrog appears!

A Fancy Hat
Nov 18, 2016

Always remember that the former President was dumber than the dumbest person you've ever met by a wide margin

I called a kid "penis breath" when he picked on me on the bus. The joke was on me, though, I ended up getting called in to the principal's office the next day and had to apologize for saying it.

Treecko
Apr 23, 2008

The Official Demon Girl
Boss of 2022!
Life, uh, finds a way.

I CHOOSE YOU, GO PIKACHU!

Icochet
Mar 18, 2008

I have a very small TV. Don't make fun of it! Please don't shame it like that~

Grimey Drawer
Yippee motherfucker

BigBadSteve
Apr 29, 2009

Self Defense
Nil Satanus carborundum

Yeshua akbar!
(Xtian anarchisto, no bombo)

"Sock it to me!"

"Danger, Will Robinson!"

"Oh my god, they killed Kenny!"

""Am I bovvered? Do I look bovvered?"

"Book 'em, Danno!"

More here: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_catchphrases_in_American_and_British_mass_media

ManBoyChef
Aug 1, 2019

Deadbeat Dad


BAGS FLY AT NOON posted:

This isnít even my final form

Final form turns out to be the fetal position with a full load in underpants.

Icochet
Mar 18, 2008

I have a very small TV. Don't make fun of it! Please don't shame it like that~

Grimey Drawer
Khan

BAGS FLY AT NOON
Apr 6, 2011



What are ya gonna do, stab me? :smug:

Dixville
Nov 4, 2008

Your Best Paw Forward
Ham Wrangler

BigBadSteve posted:

"Sock it to me!"

"Danger, Will Robinson!"

"Oh my god, they killed Kenny!"

""Am I bovvered? Do I look bovvered?"

"Book 'em, Danno!"

More here: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_catchphrases_in_American_and_British_mass_media

I randomly scrolled down and got "welcome to the o.c., bitch" which actually fits

bossy lady
Jul 9, 1983

*Farts and shits self*

looks like we've got company

Songbearer
Jul 12, 2007




Fuck you say?
*wipes mud off face, breathes heavily, enters a fighting stance*

Who is John Galt? This is J

Mozi
Apr 4, 2004

Forms change so fast
Time is moving past
Memory is smoke
Gonna get wider when I die
Nap Ghost
"rose... bud..... uurrk"

Ralph Hurley
Aug 3, 2009

:barf::sweep::zoid:



Poohs Packin posted:


I remember getting shoved around and shouting "WHAT IS YOUR MAJOR MALFUNCTION" because I was like 9 and had somehow managed to watch Full Metal Jacket from behind the bannister when I was meant to be in bed.

Clearly I was nowhere near as intimidating as R. Lee Ermey as Gunnery Sergeant Hartman and just got shoved around even harder.


The only mistake you made was not finishing the quote with NUMB-NUTS. That would have dropped your opponent.

In 9th grade gym class I watched two kids square off to fight in the locker room. The one kid got into a karate stance, started circling his hands around and hissing hooowaaaaah then everyone started laughing and the other kid slammed him into the wall. Bluffing you know karate will get your rear end kicked worse.

Smugworth
Apr 18, 2003

BINFORD! BINFORD!
I can't shut the fuck up about BINFORD TOOLS!
People keep asking if I'm back. Yeah, I'm thinkin I'm back

ManBoyChef
Aug 1, 2019

Deadbeat Dad


what about if you just turn your hat around backwards. bend over to get into a fighting stance but your pants rip and you have an asthma attack.

Treecko
Apr 23, 2008

The Official Demon Girl
Boss of 2022!
You'd be embarrassed and shamed for the rest of your life probably.

Lil Swamp Booger Baby
Aug 1, 1981

Not really the same thing but I got called into the office for making a Bob Dole joke on like some Microsoft powerpoint holiday postcard we were supposed to make in Computer Literacy class and they just sat there grilling me saying "We know what you were referencing" which was totally blowing my mind because I just said Bob Dole on the thing because there was like a Family Guy or Simpsons joke about it that I repeated without comprehension.

Afterwards I looked it up and I think they were trying to admit I had put it on there because of the Viagra ad.

poo poo was so pathetic lol, why the hell even have like an intervention over that

ManBoyChef
Aug 1, 2019

Deadbeat Dad


Lil Swamp Booger Baby posted:

Not really the same thing but I got called into the office for making a Bob Dole joke on like some Microsoft powerpoint holiday postcard we were supposed to make in Computer Literacy class and they just sat there grilling me saying "We know what you were referencing" which was totally blowing my mind because I just said Bob Dole on the thing because there was like a Family Guy or Simpsons joke about it that I repeated without comprehension.

Afterwards I looked it up and I think they were trying to admit I had put it on there because of the Viagra ad.

poo poo was so pathetic lol, why the hell even have like an intervention over that

so did you end up getting any viagra?

Lil Swamp Booger Baby
Aug 1, 1981

ManBoyChef posted:

so did you end up getting any viagra?

No, I made some joke on a power point presentation later where I put clipart of an ambulance and then clipart of santa flying over it with "he sees you when you're sleeping, so hide for goodness sake" and got called in for that too

Chinatown
Sep 11, 2001
Probation
Can't post for 21 hours!
Fun Shoe
IM ABOUT TO poo poo MY PANTS!!!!

Extra Large Marge
Jan 21, 2004

Fun Shoe
My Dad owns a dealership

Legin Noslen
Sep 9, 2004
Fortified with Rhiboflavin
The final solution? Arm all children

ManBoyChef
Aug 1, 2019

Deadbeat Dad


what if you pull one of these numbers...



You just inflate your air sac to try to scare away your attackers. Then you better watch out....























for the ladies! :smug:

Shinjobi
Jul 10, 2008


Gravy Boat 2k
"Did I do that~~??" I proclaim as I piss my pants

Treecko
Apr 23, 2008

The Official Demon Girl
Boss of 2022!
Don't show off your bright colors there might be a predator around! :(

Buce
Dec 23, 2005

where we're going, you won't need eyes to see

and then i gouged out my eyes. owned.

ManBoyChef
Aug 1, 2019

Deadbeat Dad


"I came here to kiss rear end and chew bubble gum.....would you like a piece of bubblegum sir?"

Poohs Packin
Jan 13, 2019

Assuming my bullies were familiar with any of the IP i referenced was a mistake.

In reality I shouldve just endeared myself to them by shouting WWF Attitude Era catchphrases at the gym teacher like everyone els.

SLICK GOKU BABY
Jun 12, 2001

Hey Hey Let's Go! 喧嘩する
大切な物を protect my balls


OP, have you ever considered if you didn't call movies shows that you wouldn't have gotten bullied as much?

Poohs Packin
Jan 13, 2019

SLICK GOKU BABY posted:

OP, have you ever considered if you didn't call movies shows that you wouldn't have gotten bullied as much?

Have you considered smelling what the ROCK IS COOKIN', NUMBNUTS!?!

SLICK GOKU BABY
Jun 12, 2001

Hey Hey Let's Go! 喧嘩する
大切な物を protect my balls


Poohs Packin posted:

Have you considered smelling what the ROCK IS COOKIN', NUMBNUTS!?!

Don't sign your posts.

Funky See Funky Do
Aug 20, 2013
STILL TRYING HARD
Ouch! My balls!

Treecko
Apr 23, 2008

The Official Demon Girl
Boss of 2022!
What is The Rock, Dwayne Jonson cooking anyway? I can still smell it.

Time to get Kane on

meat police
Nov 14, 2015

I'm .... retarded?

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Funky See Funky Do
Aug 20, 2013
STILL TRYING HARD
*coughing up blood*

What we've got here

*pulling out a broken tooth*

Is a failure to communicate

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