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Deep Glove Bruno
Sep 4, 2015

yung swamp thang

Lil Swamp Booger Baby posted:

No, I made some joke on a power point presentation later where I put clipart of an ambulance and then clipart of santa flying over it with "he sees you when you're sleeping, so hide for goodness sake" and got called in for that too

that reminds me for homework once i made a "humorous" guide pamphlet thing to something we'd been learning, narrated by the unabomber sketch complete with jokes about committing terrorism, and for some reason featuring an illustration of the oklahoma city bombing i was pretty proud of, for the 3D perspective on the building. received no interest from school at all thank christ. what an idiot

later had a talking to with the school psych for complaining about school/homework so hard in a journal i threw the idea of suicide around - completely just being a little overdramatic poo poo, absolutely no connection to reality or anything i'd even considered i could do. i was not at all troubled i just didn't know how to shut the gently caress up with stupid edgy poo poo

shaking my drat head at 10-11 year old me

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Mozi
Apr 4, 2004

Forms change so fast
Time is moving past
Memory is smoke
Gonna get wider when I die
Nap Ghost
this is highly illogical

ManBoyChef
Aug 1, 2019

Deadbeat Dad



Treecko posted:

What is The Rock, Dwayne Jonson cooking anyway? I can still smell it.

Time to get Kane on

Tim Kaine?


No one messed with me in school. I was cultivating the early nineties era George Michael look. Everyone knew I was a total badass and not to try me.

Treecko
Apr 23, 2008

The Official Demon Girl
Boss of 2022!
I thought I was a velicoraptor for a long time after my parents brought me to Jurassic Park on release.

numberoneposter
Feb 19, 2014

How much do I cum? The answer might surprise you!

Treecko posted:

I thought I was a velicoraptor for a long time after my parents brought me to Jurassic Park on release.
More like a six foot turkey.

ManBoyChef
Aug 1, 2019

Deadbeat Dad



,

Poohs Packin
Jan 13, 2019

Treecko posted:

I thought I was a velicoraptor for a long time after my parents brought me to Jurassic Park on release.

Were you one of those kids that perched on chairs instead of sitting because thats like a whole type of person that eventually becomes adults.

Buce
Dec 23, 2005

Poohs Packin posted:

Were you one of those kids that perched on chairs instead of sitting because thats like a whole type of person that eventually becomes adults.

there was one of those in one of my classes in college. college! a percher!

Treecko
Apr 23, 2008

The Official Demon Girl
Boss of 2022!
Yup, I sure was.

Funky See Funky Do
Aug 20, 2013
STILL TRYING HARD
Children gather in a circle around two kids that are about to fight and start chanting "rear end to rear end! rear end to rear end!"

E: I'll leave it up but in retrospect making a joke about kids that includes the phrase "rear end to rear end" was not my finest hour.

Funky See Funky Do fucked around with this message at 00:36 on Dec 9, 2022

numberoneposter
Feb 19, 2014

How much do I cum? The answer might surprise you!

frankly my dear i dont give a drat!!!!!

flubber nuts
Oct 5, 2005


some kid fell off the jungle gym in second grade and i did the dumb and dumber cpr move on him. i should have been bullied for that but i somehow got off scot free. or idk maybe i was bullied, i dont think i was fully self aware until 4th grade.

ManBoyChef
Aug 1, 2019

Deadbeat Dad



I remember in seventh these two kids were about to fight so basically we were all in the boys locker room and we were gathered around. I guess the one kid was really excited and it was just after lunch and he just throws up all over himself and the other kid. It was disgusting. I totally wasn't expecting it.

Private Cumshoe
Feb 15, 2019

AAAAAAAGAGHAAHGGAH
say the line bart

Poohs Packin
Jan 13, 2019

Buce posted:

there was one of those in one of my classes in college. college! a percher!

College age percher is wild.

The Venn Diagram of perchers and Kingdom Hearts fans is a circle.

X JAKK
Sep 1, 2000

We eat the pig then together we BURN
“I lost my job. Actually I didn't lose it. It lost me. I'm overeducated, underskilled - maybe it's the other way around. I forget - but I'm obsolete. I'm not economically viable. I can't even support my own kid.”

and then i got wedgied

Xlorp
Jan 23, 2008


I have no positive role models and I must scream

Howard Beale
Feb 22, 2001

It's like this, Peanut
oh yeah huh I guess if you didn't watch neon genesis evangelion in its entirety you would obviously fail to grasp why I am hollering GET IN THE MECH each time you belt me in the stomach, so if you have time for a recap I'll just

Edmund Sparkler
Jul 4, 2003
For twelve years, you have been asking: Who is John Galt? This is John Galt speaking. I am the man who loves his life. I am the man who does not sacrifice his love or his values. I am the man who has deprived you of victims and thus has destroyed your world, and if you wish to know why you are peris

Everyone remembers that one kid who would quote The Mask and everyone hated them.

I was not that kid. I loathed the Mask kid at my school. Lots of "awoogah" horn sounds and "smokin!!!" from that kid.

ManBoyChef
Aug 1, 2019

Deadbeat Dad



*gets punched in face*

it is only a flesh wound

Nigmaetcetera
Nov 17, 2004

borkborkborkmorkmorkmork-gabbalooins
Whenever I was bullied, I would ask for a Chesterfield and launch into the Sicilians scene from True Romance. Works every time.

Nigmaetcetera fucked around with this message at 20:28 on Dec 9, 2022

Shinjobi
Jul 10, 2008


Gravy Boat 2k

ManBoyChef posted:

I remember in seventh these two kids were about to fight so basically we were all in the boys locker room and we were gathered around. I guess the one kid was really excited and it was just after lunch and he just throws up all over himself and the other kid. It was disgusting. I totally wasn't expecting it.

:lmao:

Edmund Sparkler
Jul 4, 2003
For twelve years, you have been asking: Who is John Galt? This is John Galt speaking. I am the man who loves his life. I am the man who does not sacrifice his love or his values. I am the man who has deprived you of victims and thus has destroyed your world, and if you wish to know why you are peris

ManBoyChef posted:

I remember in seventh these two kids were about to fight so basically we were all in the boys locker room and we were gathered around. I guess the one kid was really excited and it was just after lunch and he just throws up all over himself and the other kid. It was disgusting. I totally wasn't expecting it.

That kid knows what's up.

rotinaj
Sep 5, 2008

Fun Shoe
At one point, i called a bully a “bastich”, the technically not-a-swear swear that lobo used in his comics

Punching said bully a few months later worked far better

Poohs Packin
Jan 13, 2019

Edmund Sparkler posted:

Everyone remembers that one kid who would quote The Mask and everyone hated them.

I was not that kid. I loathed the Mask kid at my school. Lots of "awoogah" horn sounds and "smokin!!!" from that kid.

We had a Donald Duck/Woody Woodpecker kid who was unsurprisingly also a percher. Way worse than mask kid.

Dude had it figured out, though. He had none of the social pining usually associated with kids that get bullied. He was in his own social stratum. Just so strange and fringe that even the most diehard of bullies were like "yeah gently caress that".

Edmund Sparkler
Jul 4, 2003
For twelve years, you have been asking: Who is John Galt? This is John Galt speaking. I am the man who loves his life. I am the man who does not sacrifice his love or his values. I am the man who has deprived you of victims and thus has destroyed your world, and if you wish to know why you are peris

Poohs Packin posted:

We had a Donald Duck/Woody Woodpecker kid who was unsurprisingly also a percher. Way worse than mask kid.

Dude had it figured out, though. He had none of the social pining usually associated with kids that get bullied. He was in his own social stratum. Just so strange and fringe that even the most diehard of bullies were like "yeah gently caress that".

Basically the equivalent of the guy in jail who shits his pants in order to get left alone.

Treecko
Apr 23, 2008

The Official Demon Girl
Boss of 2022!
poo poo I might have been The Mask in velocirapor form. Maybe the bullying was justified...

Arooooga ROOOOAR

Poohs Packin
Jan 13, 2019

Mostly just undiagnosed ASD and a high sugar poverty diet. :spergin:

Edmund Sparkler
Jul 4, 2003
For twelve years, you have been asking: Who is John Galt? This is John Galt speaking. I am the man who loves his life. I am the man who does not sacrifice his love or his values. I am the man who has deprived you of victims and thus has destroyed your world, and if you wish to know why you are peris

The same kid who was the Mask kid in my school also did a "science" project about "velociraptures".

I made the mistake of reconnecting with him during the MySpace days with the intent to apologize for being an rear end in a top hat to him. He turned out to be an arrogant rear end in a top hat and it was an important lesson for me about expectations and resentments.

naem
May 29, 2011

I had a growth spurt in high school and grew six inches taller in six months.

I went from looking like a kid to looking like an adult man suddenly but had the personality and interests of a kid still so was super awkward, but it was hard for anyone to pick on me

SilvergunSuperman
Aug 7, 2010

Legit lol @ dropping what is your major malfunction as a kid, 10/10

Treecko
Apr 23, 2008

The Official Demon Girl
Boss of 2022!
Don't talk about my mom she doesn't 'believe in making kids take meds'

Now I'll go watch the Mask/Jurassic Park again

SilvergunSuperman
Aug 7, 2010

Edmund Sparkler posted:

The same kid who was the Mask kid in my school also did a "science" project about "velociraptures".

I made the mistake of reconnecting with him during the MySpace days with the intent to apologize for being an rear end in a top hat to him. He turned out to be an arrogant rear end in a top hat and it was an important lesson for me about expectations and resentments.

People don't owe you forgiveness for being a turd.

Edmund Sparkler
Jul 4, 2003
For twelve years, you have been asking: Who is John Galt? This is John Galt speaking. I am the man who loves his life. I am the man who does not sacrifice his love or his values. I am the man who has deprived you of victims and thus has destroyed your world, and if you wish to know why you are peris

SilvergunSuperman posted:

People don't owe you forgiveness for being a turd.

That's the lesson I learned. He was a piece of poo poo but I was also a piece of poo poo for expecting fulfillment for apologizing to him.

naem
May 29, 2011

bullies are usually being bullied by other bullies

the popular kid group are often just a circular bully ouroboros

Disco Pope
Dec 6, 2004

Top Class!

Edmund Sparkler posted:

Everyone remembers that one kid who would quote The Mask and everyone hated them.

I was not that kid. I loathed the Mask kid at my school. Lots of "awoogah" horn sounds and "smokin!!!" from that kid.

My school's Mask kid bit a girl on the tit so she bit his balls.

Extra Large Marge
Jan 21, 2004

Fun Shoe
Thank you sir may I have another

normal-ass vampire
Feb 14, 2011

Edmund Sparkler posted:

Everyone remembers that one kid who would quote The Mask and everyone hated them.

I was not that kid. I loathed the Mask kid at my school. Lots of "awoogah" horn sounds and "smokin!!!" from that kid.

My middle school instead had the Double Entendre Announcer. Anytime someone said something that could be interpreted as even vaguely sexual he'd yell "DOU-BLE MEAN-INNNNG" in this awful sing-song voice.

One day the very quiet polite Christian girl in class just loving snapped and punched him.

ManBoyChef
Aug 1, 2019

Deadbeat Dad



bully pushes me into a locker

does the whole Macho Man Randy Savage "OOOOOOOH yeah!" "Snap into a slim jim."

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ArbitraryC
Jan 28, 2009
Pick a number, any number
Pillbug

Edmund Sparkler posted:

That's the lesson I learned. He was a piece of poo poo but I was also a piece of poo poo for expecting fulfillment for apologizing to him.

Someone being socially maladjusted because they got bullied a lot in their formative years is a lot more understandable than you posting this a couple decades later as an adult and still not having the introspection to realize you’re the bad guy in the story.

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