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Pinocchio but he’s a realdoll with working holes
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Dec 23, 2022 22:43
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There was an old lady who lived in a shoe She had so many kids her uterus fell out! Oh!
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Dec 23, 2022 22:45
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Mother Goose? I hosed her. Oh! etc.
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Dec 23, 2022 22:45
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Jack and Jill went up a hill to fetch a bucket of water but the hill had turned into dust and all the water evaporated due to climate change induced desertification
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Dec 23, 2022 22:49
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The gingerbread man but he is running because he is an irl ginger and everybody in town watched too much south park and have an extraordinary amount of pitchforks and/or shotguns
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Dec 23, 2022 22:50
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Peters wife didnt like living in a pumpkin shell at first but thanks to the economy shes renting it out at 2400/month and living pretty in nice estate in the countryside
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Dec 23, 2022 22:51
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Little Red Riding Hood meeting the Big Bad Wolf disguised as grandma but he breaks into a solemn dirge telling her grandma died 3 years ago due to kidney failure and her ashes are in the jar above the fireplace
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Dec 23, 2022 22:51
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The story of the guy talking to a fish getting every wish when he comes back home and blows it by telling the fish to make him God but the fish is an r/atheist reddit user and the rest of the story is a 4 hour synopsis of Goblin Slayer
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Dec 23, 2022 22:53
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snow white and the 7 simps: an OnlyFans original
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Dec 23, 2022 22:53
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Little Red Riding Hood but she's trans and the big bad wolf is a conservative Hansel and Gretel but they just have a nice dinner at the Witch's house and then she helps them get home and they remain close friends and when they both turn 18 they become her subs but she burns herself in her oven when accusations of child grooming start to mount The Boy Who Cried Wolf but he makes millions putting the villagers panicked reactions on TikTok Jack and the Beanstalk but what he trades the cow for is an NFT that's a picture of a pile of beans Anne Rice's "The Taking of Sleeping Beauty"
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Dec 23, 2022 22:53
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bossy lady posted:snow white and the 7 simps: an OnlyFans original This was already updated as Ho White and the Seven Dwarves 
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Dec 23, 2022 22:54
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The Three Little Pigs but the wolf is the landowner that jacked up rent by 50% just in time for the holidays
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Dec 23, 2022 22:55
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kntfkr posted:There was an old lady who lived in a shoe kntfkr posted:Mother Goose? I hosed her. EorayMel posted:Jack and Jill went up a hill to fetch a bucket of water but the hill had turned into dust and all the water evaporated due to climate change induced desertification These are nursery rhymes you simpletons
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Dec 23, 2022 22:56
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What if they got updated to be nursery rhymes what then bitch????????????? 
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Dec 23, 2022 22:56
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Rumpelsiltskin but its permabanned goon seraph84/dare/matt damon etc trying to exhaust all funny something awful names
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Dec 23, 2022 22:57
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Snow White and the 7 Dwarves but they're all gay and polyamorous and she helps them work out their communication and trust issues so they can all make it work and be happy and productive
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Dec 23, 2022 22:58
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All stories are rebranded as "hairy tails" and become an extremely lucrative niche for writing furry erotica
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Dec 23, 2022 22:59
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Adam chops down the tree so Eve can't gently caress it up for everyone else.
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Dec 23, 2022 22:59
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EorayMel posted:What if they got updated to be nursery rhymes what then bitch????????????? The categorization was set long ago op, sorry I don’t make the rules hands are tied etc
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Dec 23, 2022 23:01
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Tag yourself I'm The Story Of Flying Robert https://www.gutenberg.org/files/12116/12116-h/12116-h.htm
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Dec 23, 2022 23:01
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sigher posted:Adam chops down the tree so Eve can't gently caress it up for everyone else. Eve gets sick of Adam's poo poo and uppercuts him in the stomach and because he's missing a rib she easily pwns his vitals organs. Proceeds to peace out of the garden and she and Lilith go on to have Xena and Gabrielle style adventures
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Dec 23, 2022 23:01
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BAGS FLY AT NOON posted:The categorization was set long ago op, sorry I don’t make the rules hands are tied etc The Story of Augustus who would not have any Soup but its BAGS FLY AT NOON who would not get with the times 
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Dec 23, 2022 23:02
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Cinderella except instead of a fairy godmother it's some sort of AI and instead of a dress and carriage that turns back it's a battle mech that only has enough battery power to last until midnight.
Nice Van My Man fucked around with this message at 23:17 on Dec 23, 2022 |
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Dec 23, 2022 23:04
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The Little Mermaid, but she’s actually 6’4.
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Dec 23, 2022 23:05
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Hansel and Gretel but it is https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4TOMxSWPgZQ&t=844s
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Dec 23, 2022 23:06
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Grindrella 
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Dec 23, 2022 23:29
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Alibaba and the forty days shipping by chinapost.
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Dec 23, 2022 23:32
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Sent to retrieve the lamp the evil sorcerer who sent Aladdin says "hey thanks dude".
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Dec 23, 2022 23:49
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Shrek, but he's got his cock out the whole time.
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Dec 23, 2022 23:50
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Jack and the beanstalk: the giant falls off the stalk when it gets cut down, crushes several houses and Jack gets sent down for multiple counts of manslaughter and breaching the endangered species act.
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Dec 23, 2022 23:54
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goatface posted:Jack and the beanstalk: the giant falls off the stalk when it gets cut down, crushes several houses and Jack gets sent down for multiple counts of manslaughter and breaching the endangered species act. jack and the beanstonks - Jack invests what little money his family has in a bean-based cryptocurrency and does battle with with the giant youtube influencer who convinced him to invest all his money in the first place.
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Dec 24, 2022 00:01
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The princess and the pee.
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Dec 24, 2022 00:02
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Dec 24, 2022 00:07
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goatface posted:The princess and the pee.
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Dec 24, 2022 00:11
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Hansel and Gretel, step-siblings, get thrown out by their parents and end up forming a polycule with an older woman who gets them hooked on "brown sugar". Eventually they kill her by forcing her head into the gas oven so they can collect on her will and move to a commune on the outskirts of Berlin.
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Dec 24, 2022 00:32
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Sleeping beauty, but she gets taken away by the government who vivisect her trying to work out why she doesn't age or die while sleeping for years without food or water.
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Dec 24, 2022 00:39
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humpty dumpty sat on the hostile architecture
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Dec 24, 2022 01:46
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N. Senada posted:Pinocchio but he’s a realdoll with working holes Why are you concerned about the holes when he’s got the.. the.. schnoz. 
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Dec 24, 2022 02:04
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Variety is important.
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Dec 24, 2022 02:05
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bossy lady posted:jack and the beanstonks - Jack invests what little money his family has in a bean-based cryptocurrency and does battle with with the giant youtube influencer who convinced him to invest all his money in the first place. Jack has weed farm but his gimmick to keep prices down is.. he fertilizes it with GOOOSE poo poo! (He tells people they poo poo golden eggs everywhere)
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Dec 24, 2022 02:08
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