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haljordan
Oct 22, 2004

the corpse of god is love.






in on the ground floor of this innovative thread!

Seth Pecksniff posted:

Ok well odd timing because the thread has been decent the last couple days but I'll need to slip this in:


:siren: PLEASE READ :siren:

So here's the situation.

This thread was originally created, as I understand it, to laugh about the absurdity of President Donald Trump, a real sentence that exists in whatever hell dimension we transported to when they turned the LHC on. For the last few years, it's served its purpose, more or less, and become a general GBS politics chat thread. That's fine, we want something that's not as rigorous as D&D and isn't as anarchic as CSPAM.

However, lately this thread has kind of morphed into something I'm not sure most people are comfortable with. There's been an increase in talk about how we have to resort to violence, SCOTUS-clancychat, doomerism and the like. It's taken what should be a fun thread and turned it into some bizarre amalgamation of the worst parts of every politics thread on this forum. I've been a bit distressed to see what it's become and I've racked my brain on what to do about it.

Therefore, we're gonna have some rules here, subject to revision:

Violence: any discussion of violence insofar as we must take action and use violence to achieve our ends is forbidden. Discussion of violence as it has happened in the news is fine, as long as it doesn't turn into "let's turn the tables on them and use the same tactics" or something similar. Anything that remotely seems like advocating for violence against any political figures is a straight ban, no question and no discussion. Don't test us beyond the first ban for it.

"In Minecraft" or whatever iteration: any variation of this added to the above will be taken as advocation of violence. You're not being cute or sly and we're not stupid.

Doomerism: this is a hard one. There shouldn't be a straight ban on doomerism, as the nation and the world as it's currently composed kind of sucks right now, especially if you're a minority. However, the thread seems to tend to latch on to a vicious spiral of doomerism where it feeds off each other and we forget the true meaning of this: lols about the current state of political affairs. Try to turn it down a notch, please.

SCOTUS/Clancychat: I've noticed a lot of posts going "oh it doesn't matter because in a 6-3 decision" or "why bother? Elections are over after 2024." Elections were supposed to be over after 2020 and 2016 and yet we keep chugging along like a shambling corpse. The fact is we have no idea what's going to happen in 2 years time. A day is a lifetime in politics, a week an eternity. poo poo gets real weird as you march towards elections. No one knows what's gonna happen, so let's cut that out please.

In terms of SCOTUS, the lines are weird as poo poo in like 90% of cases that aren't unanimous or 6-3. We don't know what's going to happen with their rulings, and if you do PM me please because I want to put money down in Vegas. Jokes and speculation are fine, you rules lawyers. But acting like you know exactly what'll happen in two years time is not

At the end of the day, this is supposed to be a lols thread. It's supposed to be a form of escapism but it's becoming way too serious. I'm not saying this has to be all lols all the time, but we need to start pulling back from the brink.

Now go forth and rules lawyer the hell out of this. My body is ready.

quote:

***Unless it's directly related to something TRUMP said, take any discussion about Israel/Palestine to one of the dedicated threads in D&D or C-SPAM***

quote:

New rule as of 9/7/2023: This is NOT the Elon thread. Unless you're posting something about Elon specifically discussing Trump, keep it to yourself or go to the Elon thread.

quote:

**Don't post screenshots with slurs in them either**

quote:

**Use lovely puns at your own risk.**



nine-gear crow posted:

Let's see here, shall we.



As we've already established: 1970s Buffet logo.



Expensive yet low-class seeming burger restaurant.



Whitening toothpaste that doesn't work.



That specialty magazine your meemaw never reads but can't figure out how to cancel the subscription to.



Really scummy defense contractor. Like Raytheon scummy.



Sportsware brand.



Parody of a fascist political party logo in a sci-fi movie mocked for being too goofy.



The Ripper Fart with Perry Johnson, weekends at 3:00 on OANN.



I think this guy's gonna get his rear end handed to him by JFK, I dunno guys.



TROMP





https://twitter.com/nytimes/status/...r%3D788lastpost

Krolm posted:

Been working on this on and off over the week since those prison AI pictures came out, I really liked the story they seem to tell if you put them in the right order. Hope you enjoy :chaostrump:
sound
https://i.imgur.com/NlX9jcz.mp4







shoeberto posted:

DENNIS: You remember that guy from high school, George Santos?
MAC: Who?
DENNIS: The dweeby guy with glasses? Compulsive liar? Like, ridiculously bad?
MAC: That's like half our graduating class, dude, all of our parents were absent alcoholics.
DENNIS: No, no, he was special. He said his real dad was Gene Simmons and his grandfather was Hitler. Somehow he was also half-Japanese and half-Cherokee. Also he won a gold medal at thesame Olympics for dressage at the age of 9 -
MAC: Ohhh! That guy! I thought his name was Carlito? You mean his real dad wasn't Carl Santana?
DENNIS: No, dude. I mean, maybe. I don't know. But listen, I read he's running for congress in New York.
MAC: What? That's bullshit, they won't let him run. No one even knew what his real birthday was.
DENNIS: Well apparently that doesn't matter to the republicans. He's running on a platform of some really wacky poo poo. No abortions, no taxes, no gay marriage -
MAC: No gay marriage? Really?
DENNIS: Yeah, he's god drat nuts. Luckily he doesn't have a snowball's chance in hell of winning.
MAC: [staring off into the distance] Yeah... there's no way someone like that gets elected... right?

[title card] The Gang Starts a SuperPAC



https://twitter.com/JasonKander/sta...r%3D117lastpost

Krolm posted:

Happy Jan 6 thread :) I feel like a festive celebration is in order. it has sound too

https://i.imgur.com/4XAwsQZ.mp4



bird with big dick posted:

Once upon a time, in a land far, far away, there lived a man named Donald Trump. He was known for his extravagant lifestyle, his love for gold, and his unique way of doing things. One day, he found himself in a peculiar situation that would forever be etched in the annals of history.

It was a chilly evening, and Donald Trump had just finished a long day of negotiations and meetings. Exhausted, he returned to his luxurious penthouse suite, craving comfort and relaxation. As he entered his opulent dining room, he noticed a bowl of mashed potatoes sitting on the table. The aroma of butter and cream filled the air, tempting his senses.

Curiosity piqued, Donald Trump approached the bowl, his eyes gleaming with intrigue. He had always been a man of unconventional tastes, and this moment was no exception. Without a second thought, he dipped his finger into the creamy mound and tasted it. The flavors exploded in his mouth, and he was instantly captivated.

In a sudden surge of passion, Donald Trump's imagination ran wild. He envisioned the mashed potatoes as a symbol of power, a representation of his ability to conquer any challenge. The smooth texture reminded him of his own charisma, while the buttery richness mirrored his wealth. In that moment, he felt an inexplicable connection to the bowl of mashed potatoes.

Driven by his unique desires, Donald Trump decided to take his relationship with the mashed potatoes to the next level. He cleared the table, dimmed the lights, and adorned the room with golden accents. He wanted this experience to be unforgettable, even if it was just between him and the bowl of mashed potatoes.

As he gently scooped a spoonful of mashed potatoes, he whispered sweet nothings to the bowl, praising its creamy perfection. He caressed the bowl's edges, feeling an odd sense of satisfaction. With each bite, he savored the flavors, savoring the moment as if it were a forbidden pleasure.

Unbeknownst to Donald Trump, his butler, Jenkins, had accidentally left the door ajar. Jenkins, a discreet and loyal servant, had seen many peculiar things during his time working for Mr. Trump. However, this particular scene left him utterly bewildered. He discreetly retreated, deciding to keep this secret to himself, for the sake of his employer's reputation.

As the night wore on, Donald Trump's love affair with the mashed potatoes reached its climax. He reveled in the forbidden pleasure, feeling a sense of liberation and indulgence. In that moment, he was free from the pressures of the world, free to embrace his eccentricities without judgment.

The next morning, Donald Trump awoke with a sense of contentment. He had experienced something truly unique, something that only he could understand. He knew that this story would never be shared with the world, but it would forever remain etched in his memory.

And so, the tale of Donald Trump's love affair with a bowl of mashed potatoes became a secret known only to him and the golden walls of his penthouse suite. It served as a reminder that even the most powerful and influential individuals have their own peculiarities, their own hidden desires. And sometimes, it is in those moments of vulnerability that we truly find ourselves.



AI pics of Trump in jail: https://twitter.com/EliotHiggins/st...%3D3674lastpost

For those without Twitter: https://imgur.com/a/5udqKef

Pot Smoke Phoenix posted:

I owe my Trump-supporting friends an apology. I’ve been critical of the Trump presidency these last four years, and am still exhausted from the experience. But to be fair, President Trump wasn’t that bad, other than when he incited an insurrection against the government, mismanaged a pandemic that killed nearly half a million Americans, separated children from their families, lost those children in the bureaucracy, tear-gassed peaceful protesters on Lafayette Square so he could hold a photo op holding a Bible in front of a church, tried to block all Muslims from entering the country, got impeached, got impeached again, had the worst jobs record of any president in modern history, pressured Ukraine to dig dirt on Joe Biden, fired the FBI director for investigating his ties to Russia, bragged about firing the FBI director on TV, took Vladimir Putin’s word over the US intelligence community, diverted military funding to build his wall, caused the longest government shutdown in US history, called Black Lives Matter a “symbol of hate,” lied nearly 30,000 times, banned transgender people from serving in the military, ejected reporters from the White House briefing room who asked tough questions, vetoed the defense funding bill because it renamed military bases named for Confederate soldiers, refused to release his tax returns, increased the national debt by nearly $8 trillion, had three of the highest annual trade deficits in U.S. history, called veterans and soldiers who died in combat losers and suckers, coddled the leader of Saudi Arabia after he ordered the execution and dismembering of a US-based journalist, refused to concede the 2020 election, hired his unqualified daughter and son-in-law to work in the White House, walked out of an interview with Lesley Stahl, called neo-Nazis “very fine people,” suggested that people should inject bleach into their bodies to fight COVID, abandoned our allies the Kurds to Turkey, pushed through massive tax cuts for the wealthiest but balked at helping working Americans, incited anti-lockdown protestors in several states at the height of the pandemic, withdrew the US from the Paris climate accords, withdrew the US from the Iranian nuclear deal, withdrew the US from the Trans Pacific Partnership which was designed to block China’s advances, insulted his own Cabinet members on Twitter, pushed the leader of Montenegro out of the way during a photo op, failed to reiterate US commitment to defending NATO allies, called Haiti and African nations “shithole” countries, called the city of Baltimore the “worst in the nation,” claimed that he single handedly brought back the phrase “Merry Christmas” even though it hadn’t gone anywhere, forced his Cabinet members to praise him publicly like some cult leader believed he should be awarded the Nobel Peace Prize, berated and belittled his hand-picked Attorney General when he recused himself from the Russia probe, suggested the US should buy Greenland, colluded with Mitch McConnell to push through federal judges and two Supreme Court justices after supporting efforts to prevent his predecessor from appointing judges, repeatedly called the media “enemies of the people,” claimed that if we tested fewer people for COVID we’d have fewer cases, violated the emoluments clause, thought that Nambia was a country, told Bob Woodward in private that the coronavirus was a big deal but then downplayed it in public, called his exceedingly faithful vice president a “p---y” for following the Constitution, nearly got us into a war with Iran after threatening them by tweet, nominated a corrupt head of the EPA, nominated a corrupt head of HHS, nominated a corrupt head of the Interior Department, nominated a corrupt head of the USDA, praised dictators and authoritarians around the world while criticizing allies, refused to allow the presidential transition to begin, insulted war hero John McCain – even after his death, spent an obscene amount of time playing golf after criticizing Barack Obama for playing (far less) golf while president, falsely claimed that he won the 2016 popular vote, called the Muslim mayor of London a “stone cold loser,” falsely claimed that he turned down being Time’s Man of the Year, considered firing special counsel Robert Mueller on several occasions, mocked wearing face masks to guard against transmitting COVID, locked Congress out of its constitutional duty to confirm Cabinet officials by hiring acting ones, used a racist dog whistle by calling COVID the “China virus,” hired and associated with numerous shady figures that were eventually convicted of federal offenses including his campaign manager and national security adviser, pardoned several of his shady associates, gave the Presidential Medal of Freedom to two congressman who amplified his batshit crazy conspiracy theories, got into telephone fight with the leader of Australia(!), had a Secretary of State who called him a moron, forced his press secretary to claim without merit that his was the largest inauguration crowd in history, botched the COVID vaccine rollout, tweeted so much dangerous propaganda that Twitter eventually banned him, charged the Secret Service jacked-up rates at his properties, constantly interrupted Joe Biden in their first presidential debate, claimed that COVID would “magically” disappear, called a U.S. Senator “Pocahontas,” used his Twitter account to blast Nordstrom when it stopped selling Ivanka’s merchandise, opened up millions of pristine federal lands to development and drilling, got into a losing tariff war with China that forced US taxpayers to bail out farmers, claimed that his losing tariff war was a win for the US, ignored or didn’t even take part in daily intelligence briefings, blew off honoring American war dead in France because it was raining, redesigned Air Force One to look like the Trump Shuttle, got played by Kim Jung Un and his “love letters,” threatened to go after social media companies in clear violation of the Constitution, botched the response to Hurricane Maria in Puerto Rico, threw paper towels at Puerto Ricans when he finally visited them, pressured the governor and secretary of state of Georgia to “find” him votes, thought that the Virgin islands had a President, drew on a map with a Sharpie to justify his inaccurate tweet that Alabama was threatened by a hurricane, allowed White House staff to use personal email accounts for official businesses after blasting Hillary Clinton for doing the same thing, rolled back regulations that protected the public from mercury and asbestos, pushed regulators to waste time studying snake-oil remedies for COVID, rolled back regulations that stopped coal companies from dumping waste into rivers, held blatant campaign rallies at the White House, tried to take away millions of Americans’ health insurance because the law was named for a Black man, refused to attend his successors’ inauguration, nominated the worst Education Secretary in history, threatened judges who didn’t do what he wanted, attacked Dr. Anthony Fauci, promised that Mexico would pay for the wall (it didn’t), allowed political hacks to overrule government scientists on major reports on climate change and other issues, struggled navigating a ramp after claiming his opponent was feeble, called an African-American Congresswoman “low IQ,” threatened to withhold federal aid from states and cities with Democratic leaders, went ahead with rallies filled with maskless supporters in the middle of a pandemic, claimed that legitimate investigations of his wrongdoing were “witch hunts,” seemed to demonstrate a belief that there were airports during the American Revolution, demanded “total loyalty” from the FBI director, praised a conspiracy theory that Democrats are Satanic pedophiles, completely gutted the Voice of America, placed a political hack in charge of the Postal Service, claimed without evidence that the Obama administration bugged Trump Tower, suggested that the US should allow more people from places like Norway into the country, suggested that COVID wasn’t that bad because he recovered with the help of top government doctors and treatments not available to the public, overturned energy conservation standards that even industry supported, reduced the number of refugees the US accepts, insulted various members of Congress and the media with infantile nicknames, gave Rush Limbaugh a Presidential medal of Freedom at the State of the Union address, named as head of federal personnel a 29-year old who’d previously been fired from the White House for allegations of financial improprieties, eliminated the White House office of pandemic respon used soldiers as campaign props, fired any advisor who made the mistake of disagreeing with him, demanded the Pentagon throw him a Soviet-style military parade, hired a poo poo ton of white nationalists, politicized the civil service, did absolutely nothing after Russia hacked US, falsely said the Boy Scouts called him to say his bizarre Jamboree speech was the best speech ever given to the Scouts, claimed that Black people would overrun the suburbs if Biden won, insulted reporters of color, insulted women reporters, insulted women reporters of color, suggested he was fine with China’s oppression of the Uighurs, attacked the Supreme Court when it ruled against him, summoned Pennsylvania state legislative leaders to the White House to pressure them to overturn the election, spent countless hours every day watching Fox News, refused to allow his administration to comply with Congressional subpoenas, hired Rudy Giuliani as his lawyer, tried to punish Amazon because the Jeff Bezos-owned Washington Post wrote negative stories about him, acted as if the Attorney General of the United States was his personal attorney, attempted to get the federal government to defend him in a libel lawsuit from a women who accused him of sexual assault, held private meetings with Vladimir Putin without staff present, didn’t disclose his private meetings with Vladimir Putin so that the US had to find out via Russian media, stopped holding press briefings for months at a time, “ordered” US companies to leave China even though he has no such power, led a political party that couldn’t even be bothered to draft a policy platform, claimed preposterously that Article II of the Constitution gave him absolute powers, tried to pressure the U.K. to hold the British Open at his golf course, suggested that the government nuke hurricanes, suggested that wind turbines cause cancer, said that he had a special aptitude for science, fired the head of election cyber security after he said that the 2020 election was secure, blurted out classified information to Russian officials, tried to force the G7 to hold their meeting at his failing golf resort in Florida, fired the acting attorney general when she refused to go along with his unconstitutional Muslim travel ban, hired Stephen Miller, openly discussed national security issues in the dining room at Mar-a-Lago where everyone could hear them, interfered with plans to relocate the FBI because a new development there might compete with his hotel, abandoned Iraqi refugees who’d helped the U.S. during the war, tried to get Russia back into the G7, held a COVID super spreader event in the Rose Garden, seemed to believe that Frederick Douglass is still alive, lost 60 election fraud cases in court including before judges he had nominated, falsely claimed that factories were reopening when they weren’t, shamelessly exploited terror attacks in Europe to justify his anti-immigrant policies, still hasn’t come up with a healthcare plan, still hasn’t come up with an infrastructure plan despite repeated “Infrastructure", forced Secret Service agents to drive him around Walter Reed while contagious with COVID, told the Proud Boys to “stand back and stand by,” hosed up the Census, withdrew the U.S. from the World Health Organization in the middle of a pandemic, did so few of his duties that his press staff were forced to state on his daily schedule “President Trump will work from early in the morning until late in the evening. He will make many calls and have many meetings,” allowed his staff to repeatedly violate the Hatch Act, seemed not to know that Abraham Lincoln was a Republican, stood before sacred CIA wall of heroes and bragged about his election win, constantly claimed he was treated worse than any president which presumably includes four that were assassinated and his predecessor whose legitimacy and birthplace were challenged by a racist reality TV show star named Donald Trump, claimed Andrew Jackson could’ve stopped the Civil War even though he died 16 years before it happened, said that any opinion poll showing him behind was fake, claimed that other countries laughed at us before he became president when several world leaders were literally laughing at him, claimed that the military was out of ammunition before he became President, created a commission to whitewash American history, retweeted anti-Islam videos from one of the most racist people in Britain, claimed ludicrously that the Pulse nightclub shooting wouldn’t have happened if someone there had a gun even though there was an armed security guard there, hired a senior staffer who cited the non-existent Bowling Green Massacre as a reason to ban Muslims, had a press secretary who claimed that Nazi Germany never used chemical weapons even though every sane human being knows they used gas to kill millions of Jews and others, bilked the Secret Service for higher than market rates when they had to stay at Trump properties, apparently sold pardons on his way out of the White House, stripped protective status from 59,000 Haitians, falsely claimed Biden wanted to defund the police, said that the head of the CDC didn’t know what he was talking about, tried to rescind protection from DREAMers, gave himself an A+ for his handling of the pandemic, tried to start a boycott of Goodyear tires due to an Internet hoax, said U.S. rates of COVID would be lower if you didn’t count blue states, deported U.S. veterans who served their country but were undocumented, claimed he did more for African Americans than any president since Lincoln, touted a “super-duper” secret “hydrosonic” missile which may or may not be a new “hypersonic” missile or may not exist at all, retweeted a gif calling Biden a pedophile, forced through security clearances for his family, suggested that police officers should rough up suspects, suggested that Biden was on performance-enhancing drugs, tried to stop transgender students from being able to use school bathrooms in line with their gender, suggested the US not accept COVID patients from a cruise ship because it would make US numbers look higher, nominated a climate change sceptic to chair the committee advising the White House on environmental policy, retweeted a video doctored to look like Biden had played a song called “gently caress tha Police” at a campaign event, hugged a disturbingly large number of U.S. flags, accused Democrats of “treason” for not applauding his State of the Union address, claimed that the FBI failed to capture the Parkland school shooter because they were “spending too much time” on Russia, mocked the testimony of Dr Christine Blasey Ford when she accused Brett Kavanaugh of sexual assault, obsessed over low-flow toilets, ordered the rerelease of more COVID vaccines when there weren’t any to release, called for the construction of a bizarre garden of heroes with statutes of famous dead Americans as well as at least one Canadian (Alex Trebek), hijacked Washington’s July 4th celebrations to give a partisan speech, took advice from the MyPillow guy, claimed that migrants seeking a better life in the US were dangerous caravans of drug dealers and rapists, said nothing when Vladimir Putin poisoned a leading opposition, never seemed to heed the advice of his wife’s “Be Best” campaign, falsely claimed that mail-in voting is fraudulent, announced a precipitous withdrawal of troops from Syria which not only handed Russia and ISIS a win but also prompted his defense secretary to resign in protest, insulted the leader of Canada, insulted the leader of France, insulted the leader of Britain, insulted the leader of Germany, insulted the leader of Sweden (Sweden!!), falsely claimed credit for getting NATO members to increase their share of dues, blew off two Asia summits even though they were held virtually, continued lying about spending lots of time at Ground Zero with 9/11 responders, said that the Japanese would sit back and watch their “Sony televisions” if the US were ever attacked, left a NATO summit early in a huff, stared directly into an eclipse even though everyone over the age of 5 knows not to do that, called himself a very stable genius despite significant evidence to the contrary, refused to commit to a peaceful transfer of power and kept his promise, and a whole bunch of other things I can’t remember at the moment.
But other than that...

• Trump thinks if you drink bleach it will cure the virus

• Trump thinks if you shove cancer causing UV light up your rear-end it will cure the virus

• Trump doesn't know there's no “Noble Prize" and he doesn't know the “Nobel Prize” is not the same as the “Pulitzer Prize”

• Trump thinks the Continental Army "manned the air" and "took over the airports" during the Revolutionary War. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g6mZ1ofj2Vo

• Trump didn't know what happened at Pearl Harbor

• Trump thinks the F-35 jet fighter is invisible like Wonder Woman's plane

• Trump thinks the noise from windmills cause ear cancer

• Trump thinks lightbulbs cause cancer

• Trump Can't Pronounce 'United States' https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nRoslI4V3EQ

• Trump Can't Pronounce "Nevada" https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d6TB-lGyfRc

• Trump Can't Pronounce "Yosemite" the national park https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QIRqvXD648w

• Trump Can't Pronounce 'Anonymous' https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dG8r_z5yukE

• Trump Can't Pronounce 'Venezuela' https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ss2dBxJGkeE#t=55s

• Trump doesn't know where he is most of the time

.. like when he said "May God bless the memory of those who perished in Toledo." when the shooting took
place in Dayton, Ohio

.. or when Trump called a town where 85 people burned to death and 19,000 buildings destroyed
"Pleasure" and not the real name, Paradise, California.

.. and Trump forgot he was in India when in front of a crowd of 100,000 and not Pakistan

https://www.nationalheraldindia.com/india/donald-trump-forgets-gandhi-declares-us-relations-with-pakistan-very-good

• Trump said, “I'll stand up for Article Two, Article 12, you name it of the Constitution.” ….(there are only 7 Articles in the US Constitution)

• Trump called his vice president 'Mike Pounce'

• Trump said he met with the president of the US Virgin Islands. Trump is the president of the Virgin Islands.

• Trump keeps calling the 1918 Spanish Flu the 1917 Flu and he thinks it was the reason WWII ended, which was in 1945. https://www.usatoday.com/story/news...art/3340770001/

• Trump said “People don’t realize, you know, the Civil War, if you think about it, why?”

• Trump said “Belgium is a beautiful city.”

• Trump forgot he had a son with Melania “That’s how the first lady got involved. She’s got a son,” Trump said before he suddenly remembered that he had something to do with it and interjected the word “together.”

• Trump forgot his wife Melania's name and called her "Melanie"

• Trump thinks the stripes on our flag are blue.

• Trump calls Apple CEO Tim Cook 'Tim Apple' when there was a name card sitting right in front of him.

• Trump calls Lockheed Martin's CEO Marillyn Hewson "Marillyn Lockheed."

• Trump referred to his national security adviser John Bolton as "Mike Bolton". In January, Trump referred to Republican House Minority Leader Kevin McCarthy as "Steve." https://www.msn.com/en-us/news/other/hear-president-trumps-latest-name-flub/vi-AADJ5ri

• Trump said “Laziness is a trait in blacks.” https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/fact-checker/wp/2016/07/25/did-donald-trump-really-say-those-things/

• Trump does not know that Israel is part of the mid-east.

• Trump thought that Frederick Douglass who died in 1895 is still alive.

• Trump can't correctly pronounce the names of the books in the Bible: “Two Corinthians, right? Two Corinthians 3:17, that’s the whole ballgame. Where the spirit of the Lord—right?—is, there is liberty!”

• Trump said Andrew Jackson would have prevented the Civil War. President Jackson died 5 years before the war.

• Trump thinks the parents of Korean War veterans (a war from 70 years ago) are alive and said, “We'd love our son to be brought back home -- you know, the remains."

It’s not the only time he’s disrespected them:

• ⁠In May 2020, the White House ended National Guard deployments one day before they could claim benefits
• ⁠The Trump admin seized 5 million masks intended for VA hospitals. Kushner distributes these masks to private entities for a fee, who then sells the masks to the government
• ⁠Trump fired the captain of the USS Theodore Roosevelt after he warned superiors that COVID19 was spreading among his crew. The virus subsequently spread amongst the crew.
• ⁠After Iran's retaliatory strike, 109 US troops suffered brain injuries. Trump dismissed these as "headaches"
• ⁠On July 20, 2017, in room 2E924 of the Pentagon, Trump told a room full of Generals, "You’re a bunch of dopes and babies"
• ⁠Pardoned multiple war criminals, which stomped on long standing military values, discipline, and command. Trump has no military experience (May&Nov, 2019)
• ⁠Trump mocked Lt. Col. Vindman for his rank and uniform. He threatened said purple heart officer, resulting in the Army providing him protection
• ⁠Trump’s Chief of Staff worked—in secret—to deny comprehensive health coverage to Vietnam Vets who suffered from Agent Orange.
• ⁠There is a facility in Tijuana for US veterans that Trump deported. Wounded war vet, Sen Duckworth (D) marked Veterans Day 2019 by visiting this facility
• ⁠Russia took control of the main U.S. military facility in Syria abandoned on Trump’s orders. Russia now owns the airstrip we built
• ⁠On Oct 7, 2019, Trump abruptly withdrew support from America's allies in Syria after a phone call with Turkey's president (Erdogan). Turkey subsequently bombed US Special Forces.
• ⁠Trump sent thousands of American troops to defend the oil assets of the country that perpetrated 9/11
• ⁠In Sept 2019, he made an Air Force cargo crew, flying from the U.S. to Kuwait stop in Scotland (where there's no U.S. base) to refuel at a commercial airport (where it costs more), so they could stay overnight at a Trump property (which isn't close to the airport). Trump’s golf courses are losing money, so he's forcing the military to pay for 5-star nights there.
• ⁠In Sept, 2019, Pentagon pulled funds for military schools, military housing funds, and daycare to pay for Trump's border wall.
• ⁠In Aug, 2019, emails revealed that three of Trump's Mar-a-Lago pals, who are now running Veterans Affairs, are rampant with meddling. "They had no experience in veterans affairs (none of them even served in the military) nor underwent any kind of approval process to serve as de facto managers. Yet, with Trump’s approval, they directed actions and criticized operations without any oversight. They wasted valuable staff time in hundreds of pages of communications and meetings, emails show. Emails reveal disdainful attitudes within the department to the trio’s meddling."
• ⁠Veterans graves will be "dug up" for the border wall, after Trump instructed aides to seize private property. Trump told officials he would pardon them if they break the law by illegally seizing property
• ⁠Children of deployed US troops are no longer guaranteed citizenship. This includes US troops posted abroad for years at a time (August 28, 2019)
• ⁠On Aug 2, 2019, Trump requisitioned military retirement funds towards border wall
• ⁠On July 31, 2019, Trump ordered the Navy rescind medals to prosecutors who were prosecuted war criminals
• ⁠Trump denied a U.S. Marine of 6 years entry into the United States for his citizenship interview (Reported July 17, 2019)
• ⁠Trump made the U.S. Navy Blue Angels violate ethics rules by having them fly at his July 4th political campaign event (July 4, 2019)
• ⁠Trump demanded US military chiefs stand next to him at 4th of July parade (reported July 2, 2019)
• ⁠In June, 2019, Trump sent troops to the border to paint the fence for a better "aesthetic appearance"
• ⁠Trump used his D-Day interview at a cemetery commemorating fallen US soldiers to attack a Vietnam veteran (June 6, 2019)
• ⁠Trump started his D-Day commemoration speech by attacking a private citizen (Bette Midler, of all people) (reported on June 4th, 2019)
• ⁠Trump made his 2nd wife, Marla Maples, sign a prenup that would have cut off all child support if Tiffany joined the military (reported June 4th, 2019)
• ⁠On May 27, 2019, Trump turned away US military from his Memorial Day speech because they were from the destroyer USS John S. McCain
• ⁠Trump ordered the USS John McCain out of sight during his visit to Japan (May 15, 2019). The ship's name was subsequently covered. (May 27, 2019)
• ⁠Trump purged 200,000 vets' healthcare applications (due to known administrative errors within VA’s enrollment system) (reported on May 13, 2019)
• ⁠Trump deported a spouse of fallen Army soldier killed in Afghanistan, leaving their daughter parentless (April 16, 2019)
• ⁠On March 20, 2019, Trump complained that a deceased war hero didn't thank him for his funeral
• ⁠Between 12/22/2018, and 1/25/2019, Trump refused to sign his party's funding bill, which shut down the government, forcing the Coast Guard to go without pay, which made service members rely on food pantries. However, his appointees got a $10,000 pay raise
• ⁠He banned service members from serving based on gender identity (1/22/2019)
• ⁠He denied female troops access to birth control to limit sexual activity (on-going. Published Jan 18, 2019)
• ⁠He tried to deport a marine vet who is a U.S.-born citizen (Jan 16, 2019)
• ⁠When a man was caught swindling veterans pensions for high-interest “cash advances," Trump's Consumer Financial Protection Bureau fined him $1 (Jan 26, 2019)
• ⁠He called a retired general a 'dog' with a 'big, dumb mouth' (Jan 1, 2019)
• ⁠He increased privatization of the VA, leading to longer waits and higher taxpayer cost (2018)
• ⁠He finally visited troops 2 years after taking office, but only after 154 vacation days at his properties (Dec 26, 2018)
• ⁠He revealed a covert Seal Team 5 deployment, including names and faces, on Twitter during his visit to Iraq (Dec 26, 2018)
• ⁠Trump lied to deployed troops that he gave them a 10% raise (12/26/2018). He tried giving the military a raise that was lower than the standard living adjustment. Congress told him that idea wasn't going to work. Then after giving them the raise that Congress made him, he lied about it pretending that it was larger than Obama's. It wasn't.
• ⁠He fired service members living with HIV just before the 2018 holidays
• ⁠He tried to slash disability and unemployment benefits for Veterans to $0, and eliminate the unemployability extrascheduler rating (Dec 17, 2018)
• ⁠He called troops on Thanksgiving and told them he's most thankful for himself (Thanksgiving, 2018)
• ⁠He urged Florida to not count deployed military votes (Nov 12, 2018)
• ⁠He canceled an Arlington Cemetery visit on Veterans Day due to light rain (Nov 12, 2018)
• ⁠While in Europe commemorating the end of WWI, he didn't attend the ceremony at a US cemetery due to the rain -- other world leaders went anyway (Nov 10, 2018)
• ⁠He used troops as a political prop by sending them on a phantom mission to the border and made them miss Thanksgiving with their families (Oct-Dec, 2018)
• ⁠He stopped using troops as a political prop immediately after the election. However, the troops remained in muddy camps on the border (Nov 7, 2018)
• ⁠Trump changed the GI Bill through his Forever GI Act, causing the VA to miss veteran benefits, including housing allowances. This caused many vets to run out of food and rent. (reported October 7, 2018)
• ⁠Trump doubled the rejection rate for veterans requesting family deportation protections (July 5, 2018)
• ⁠Trump deported active-duty spouses (11,800 military families face this problem as of April 2018)
• ⁠He forgot a fallen soldier's name (below) during a call to his pregnant widow, then attacked her the next day (Oct 23-24, 2017)
• ⁠He sent commandos into an ambush due to a lack of intel, and sends contractors to pick them up, resulting in a commando being left behind, tortured, and executed. (Trump approved the mission because Bannon told him Obama didn't have the guts to do it) (Oct 4, 2017)
• ⁠He blocked a veteran group on Twitter (June 2017)
• ⁠He ordered the discharge of active-duty immigrant troops with good records (2017-present)
• ⁠He deported veterans (2017-present)
• ⁠He said he knows more about ISIS than American generals (Oct 2016)
• ⁠On Oct 3, 2016, Trump said vets get PTSD because they aren't strong (note: yes, he said it's 'because they aren't strong.' He didn't say it's 'because they're weak.' This distinction is important because of Snopes)
• ⁠Trump accepted a Purple Heart from a fan at one of his rallies and said: “I always wanted to get the Purple Heart. This was much easier.” (Aug 2, 2016)
• ⁠Trump attacks Gold Star families: Myeshia Johnson (gold star widow), Khan family (gold star parents) etc. (2016-present)
• ⁠Trump sent funds raised from a Jan 2016 veterans benefit to the Donald J Trump Foundation instead of veterans charities (the foundation has since been ordered shut because of fraud) (Jan, 2016)
• ⁠Trump said he has "more training militarily than a lot of the guys that go into the military" because he went to a military-style academy (2015 biography)
• ⁠Trump said he doesn't consider POWs heroes because they were caught. He said he prefers people who were not caught (July 18, 2015)
• ⁠Trump said having unprotected sex was his own personal Vietnam (1998)
• ⁠For a decade, Trump sought to kick veterans off of Fifth Avenue because he found them unsightly nuisances outside of Trump Tower. 1991
• ⁠Trump dodged the draft 5 times by having a doctor diagnose him with bone spurs.
• ⁠No Trump in America has ever served in the military; thism spans 5 generations, and every branch of the family tree. In fact, the reason his grandfather immigrated to America was to avoid military service

Droogie posted:



My very handsome, very handsome, some have said too handsome, it's true, my handsome and very smart, smart in terms of thinking, banking, real estate, you know- my beautiful, handsome, and smart father (me!) Has done no crimes, no crimes, I tell you. This sham of a trial is a witch hunt.

For posterity (added 11-10-2023):

JeffLeonard posted:

Bull loving poo poo

How hard does the GOP have to get dick-kicked for people to realize that there is NO CHANCE Trmpf ever wins again?

He ran against the arguably worst possible candidate/campaign in 2016 and barely won.

For every 60+ Trump voter that dies, 2 zoomers turn 18.

gently caress it. Hal, please accept my official toxx that Trmpf will never be elected again.

EDIT:

:wow:

JeffLeonard posted:

Oh.

Is hell-banning still a thing? How about a hell-ban and a $500 donation to ???

haljordan fucked around with this message at 18:07 on Dec 23, 2023

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haljordan
Oct 22, 2004

the corpse of god is love.






Shishkahuben posted:

genuine lol that trump's life is so deprived of joy, happiness or comfort that every single holiday is spent bitching on the internet about the news instead of spending time with people who enjoy his company

LOL like these people exist

haljordan
Oct 22, 2004

the corpse of god is love.






I. M. Gei posted:

why was the other thread closed?

too many posts probably

haljordan
Oct 22, 2004

the corpse of god is love.






olylifter posted:

you were spot on in the closed thread about any potential kidnapping situation playing out like Ruthless People

that's such a great movie, it should be more popular.

I know, Danny DeVito, Bette Midler and Judge Reinhold all just fuckin crushing it

haljordan
Oct 22, 2004

the corpse of god is love.






arsenicCatnip posted:

That day or two where it genuinely seemed like Trump was gonna bite it from a pandemic he exasperated were pretty swell

I'll say this again: whatever rear end in a top hat talked him out of walking onto the WH balcony and ripping open his shirt to reveal a Superman one underneath should get the death penalty

tek79 posted:

This needs to be updated to include the time he saluted a North Korean general in front of Kim Jong-un.

that photo is GREAT because there's some other north korean army guy standing nearby who has the perfect "holy poo poo is he saluting right now?!!" look on his face

haljordan
Oct 22, 2004

the corpse of god is love.






Seth Pecksniff posted:

Still miffed he didn't rip his shirt open to show a superman costume underneath lmao

^^^ holy poo poo hahaha

for real, depriving us of those LOLs is still the single greatest injustice of the last 100 years

haljordan
Oct 22, 2004

the corpse of god is love.






Steadiman posted:

Even Kim Jong-Un was baffled at what he was seeing, it was incredible. Might have been my absolute favorite Trump moment, together with him pushing that EU official out of the way to get in the front for a photo op

you know that for a second Kim was thinking to himself "Is....is this a trick or is he that much of a moron?"

haljordan
Oct 22, 2004

the corpse of god is love.






WHY BONER NOW posted:

Wonder what his eulogy will be and who will give it

Matthew Calamari, obv

haljordan
Oct 22, 2004

the corpse of god is love.






The only redeeming thing about Lauren Boebert is that her father is most likely Sweet Stan Lane, one half of THE FABULOUS ONES


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MMaMIdTiEgM

haljordan
Oct 22, 2004

the corpse of god is love.






Nocheez posted:

I'm sure this will get glossed over, since you have to click this link and read it, but I thought it was a pretty good insight into how the GOP let Trump slide in. It was mostly "well, the other side is bad sometimes too" and other bullshit reasons why they couldn't say the emperor has no clothes.

https://www.npr.org/2022/12/27/1144390761/why-republican-elites-backed-trump-power-belonging-and-voter-pressure

Lmao @ this fuckin loser


quote:

One guy said to me directly, "Tim, I'm a white guy, and with all of this woke nonsense and with my wife's friends calling me racist for working for Republicans and all this criticism, all this heat I have to take, I'm not up for jobs. And it just leaves me no choice but to just think about the one or two things I agree with [the Trump administration] on and just focus on that."

haljordan
Oct 22, 2004

the corpse of god is love.






They should sanction her with a sack filled with doorknobs

haljordan
Oct 22, 2004

the corpse of god is love.






Does this mean Steve Rannazzisi can start doing commercials for Buffalo Wild Wings again

haljordan
Oct 22, 2004

the corpse of god is love.






(laptop!)

haljordan
Oct 22, 2004

the corpse of god is love.






lmao imagine how bad you got to gently caress up to get raided by the authorities in Romania

haljordan
Oct 22, 2004

the corpse of god is love.






Oscar Wild posted:

Doubles is good for cars, you can take one out and it gets scratched, and you don't have to worry but 33 cars, that's best. And I have a wife.

I don't care if he was acting on a TV show, give Bob Odenkirk a goddamned Oscar for that skit.

haljordan
Oct 22, 2004

the corpse of god is love.






kntfkr posted:

He looks like Dennis Reynolds.



Definitely likes to bind and be bound.

edit: He looks like Dennis after Dee made him remove all his makeup and pec pads

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Prz7que9MT4

haljordan
Oct 22, 2004

the corpse of god is love.







Atherosclerosis?

haljordan
Oct 22, 2004

the corpse of god is love.






Is that first shark Ghost Shark's unemployable brother-in-law

haljordan
Oct 22, 2004

the corpse of god is love.






quote:

“Exactly — you lose forever without me. I don’t care. This is what Republicans deserve for not sticking up for me.”

That poo poo should go on Trump's tombstone haaaaaaaa

haljordan
Oct 22, 2004

the corpse of god is love.






Mexican Deathgasm posted:

Whoopi Goldberg, like many other celebrities, is a child rape apologist. This is what she said about Roman Polanski, a man who drugged and raped a 13 year old girl:
""I know it wasn't rape-rape. It was something else but I don't believe it was rape-rape. He went to jail and and when they let him out he was like, 'You know what, this guy's going to give me a hundred years in jail. I'm not staying.' So that's why he left."

Whether she's anti-Semitic or not, she is a garbage human being.

Types of rape, ranked:
1). Legitimate rape
2). rape-rape

haljordan
Oct 22, 2004

the corpse of god is love.






Dan Gelernter sounds like a real moron as well.


quote:

“Do I think Trump can win as a third-party candidate? No,” he wrote. “Would I vote for him as a third-party candidate? Yes. Because I’m not interested in propping up this corrupt [GOP] gravy-train any longer.”

TRUMP: Notoriously free of any and all corruption

haljordan
Oct 22, 2004

the corpse of god is love.






I think my all-time favorite Trump quote is from the midterms when he literally said "If my candidates win, I deserve all the credit. If they lose, I deserve none of the blame." Just an incredible LOL in this modern age.

haljordan
Oct 22, 2004

the corpse of god is love.






Professor Shark posted:

Then he immediately began to whine about how it will probably be the opposite and how that is so, so unfair.

That motherfucker used the word unfair more than anybody in history

I bet if you wrote down every single word Trump knows, you'd barely crack 100

haljordan
Oct 22, 2004

the corpse of god is love.






I trust everyone has seen this Golden Age LOL

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QOcQEcwFkX0

haljordan
Oct 22, 2004

the corpse of god is love.






red19fire posted:

I think this is what will happen as well, but he’ll whine on truth social or his endless coast to coast campaign rallies that the deep state is keeping him off the ballot. I think he’s mainly excited for rally season.

I hope the RNC doesn't provide any logistics for his rallies during the campaign and it ends up being a bunch of events in the middle of Bumwad, Iowa where elderly chuds freeze to death in a field.

haljordan
Oct 22, 2004

the corpse of god is love.






Remember how Trump has a sister who committed tax fraud for decades and decades while keeping her position as a judge, and when poo poo hit the fan all she did was retire with full pension and benefits? LOL

haljordan
Oct 22, 2004

the corpse of god is love.






an AOL chatroom posted:

Trompa does something that I've never seen anyone else ever pull off. He'll unconditionally endorse a person, shower them in praises, give them all the quotes and publicity in the world, and then when the tides turn, without a shred of embarrassment or regret, jump right to "I was so nice to this person, they begged me for attention, and now they're a big fat loser".

Just completely dissolving the association into "This person was only using me for my influence, and I was nice enough to help them out"

And there is an ENDLESS stream of assholes ready to kill each other over this "favor"

haljordan
Oct 22, 2004

the corpse of god is love.






The Saddest Rhino posted:

i'm watching This Place Rules and 15 minutes in there's a dude called Prometheus at the white house who's demanding people to recognize that young boys should not get circumcized. another guy hogs for the camera by doing dozens of push-ups. before that we get to see two redneck instagrammers have a little boxing match. one of them uses a fish as a bong.

If someone from a foreign country asks you to sum up the state of American politics, just show 'em this clip.

haljordan
Oct 22, 2004

the corpse of god is love.






Seth Pecksniff posted:

I am gonna recommend everyone tune into CSPAN tomorrow at noon because if it pans out it's probably going to be one of the more incredible scenes you'll witness the House ever doing. 100 years since a Speaker vote took multiple ballots!

My guess is there may be enough moderates that vote present to lower the threshold and let McCarthy barely squeak by but we'll see

I wonder what kind of batshit lunatic demands are coming from the Nutjob Moron caucus. I bet it's just "HUNTER BIDEN'S LAPTOP #1!!!!!!" written on some toilet paper.

haljordan
Oct 22, 2004

the corpse of god is love.







but don't worry, she and her husband don't talk about this stuff at all together

edit:

https://twitter.com/JoJoFromJerz/status/1609921359886581762

haljordan
Oct 22, 2004

the corpse of god is love.






How long do you think you could stomach sitting next to TRUMP and listening to his bullshit ranting nonfuckingstop in person before you plunged a steak knife into your jugular? For me, I'd give it 45 seconds.

haljordan
Oct 22, 2004

the corpse of god is love.






Toxic Mental posted:

I'd rather it was his jugular

Nah Trump deserves to live until 100 years old, absolutely riddled with dementia like his bastard father. Also no blade on earth could penetrate that fuckin neck waddle.

haljordan
Oct 22, 2004

the corpse of god is love.






Sexual Aluminum posted:

So republicans are trying to wait out the clock with Trump right? Hope he croaks before 2024?

They're actually thinking Ron DeSantis will take him down, but just wait until Trump makes fun of him for wearing those stupid rear end white boots

haljordan
Oct 22, 2004

the corpse of god is love.






Seth Pecksniff posted:

10 people are gonna run for the Republican nomination and Donald Trump is gonna win it again because the morons can't understand how they're all splitting the vote and a solid 33% of Republicans will never vote for anyone else

I am still waiting gleefully for Nikki Haley and Chris Christie to fight to the death for the right to finish dead loving last in Iowa

Strong Sauce posted:

https://twitter.com/RNCResearch/status/1609583100564234240
"ah yes, a gen zer struggling with credit and money. we should certainly try to dunk on this guy for that. gen zers love dunks right?"

Members of Congress sharing apartments/sleeping in their offices has been a thing for YEARS, and that includes the Republican ones: https://www.npr.org/2015/12/26/458207661/meet-the-lawmakers-who-sleep-shower-work-all-on-capitol-hill

edit: omg this guy has apparently never spoken to a landlord in his entire life ever hahahahahahaha

https://twitter.com/The_JUDii/status/1609600928197271552

haljordan fucked around with this message at 18:18 on Jan 2, 2023

haljordan
Oct 22, 2004

the corpse of god is love.






Strong Sauce posted:

"this guy has bad credit he doesn't deserve to be a congressmen no wonder we are trillions in debt!" - conservative boomers who had money handed to them while freely by siphoning it away from black people back in the day.

Also imagine the investigations if some landlord did cut that guy a break on his rent or whatever, it would put Benghazi to SHAME

"Offer to pay a few months advance" loving lmao what a shithead

haljordan
Oct 22, 2004

the corpse of god is love.






Strong Sauce posted:

"this guy has bad credit he doesn't deserve to be a congressmen no wonder we are trillions in debt!" - conservative boomers who had money handed to them while freely by siphoning it away from black people back in the day.

The credit scoring system in the US is so hosed up and twisted that you are penalized for NOT having debt. Seriously. If you pay off everything in cash and never open an account at a furniture store or whatever you are deemed a "risk".

haljordan
Oct 22, 2004

the corpse of god is love.






nexous posted:

That’s why taking out decades of student loans is a good thing! Build your credit while preparing for your career as a sandwich artist intern who doesn't get paid.

haljordan
Oct 22, 2004

the corpse of god is love.






nexous posted:

I do it for the exposure.

is this a quote from lauren boebert's husband

haljordan
Oct 22, 2004

the corpse of god is love.






Also that RNC Research account realizes they're not just gonna hand that guy a check for $174,000 right off the bat, right?

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haljordan
Oct 22, 2004

the corpse of god is love.






Steadiman posted:

Ugh just be rich, it's really not that complicated. bunch of entitled snowflakes

Why doesn't Frost just go to the same dark money scumbags who mysteriously cleared that 100k of debt Kavanaugh had? That transaction raised absolutely zero red flags for me.


Yeah well the fact that they had an almost endless supply of video/photos and defendants literally bragging about their crimes to everyone on social media probably helps, but I think the Fed conviction rate is like 80% regardless. If they come for you, take the goddamned plea deal.

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