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 More than a few years ago now, Icephoenix made a great thread in which goons created a prospect in OOTP and he simmed 20-30 years later to see what came of their careers. They got drafted, and most of them failed horribly or were exceedingly mediocre, but a few had great careers and put up legendary numbers. I did the same thing with OOTP16, and goons had a wonderful time. They created some... unique players, got drafted, made it to the majors, retired, and even made the Hall of Fame! (as a reliever no less!) We also had some fun watching weird baseball poo poo happen, like the Cubs winning the World Series (prescient!), the MLB expanding to Memphis/Austin, players being revived or being destroyed by injuries contrary to real life, Hall of Fame votes, and so on! Even if your player is a bust, or takes time to develop, we can have fun seeing the bizarre world of OOTP simulations and the silly (slightly) immersive stories it creates. Okay but, what the hell is OOTP? A glorified excel sheet with a baseball skin. But also, the single best sports simulation game that exists. In OOTP you manage a baseball team - either as manager, GM, or commissioner (or just let the AI play). In this capacity you draft players, manage rosters, and even make game-level decisions if you so wish. The game models the development and play of the entire league, with whatever degree of complexity you'd like. It's also deeply customizable - we will be playing with the real MLB teams, but you can do historical leagues, foreign leagues (like the NPB, Winter Leagues), or even an entirely fictional league of your choosing. Want to make a league in England? Want a global communist league? Go for it! The rules are also similarly customizable, down to the minutiae of baseball contracts and arbitration, as well as factors for player development and injury. So what does that look like?  Here's an example of a particularly renowned player, Mike Trout. The game shows his salary, awards, personality, and various ratings. I'll probably get hell for this, but I like to play with skill ratings ranging from 1-100, with 100 being super elite (and anything above being even more phenomenal), and 1 being absolute garbage. The total rating of your player ranges from 20 (worst) to 80 (super-elite). You'll notice the numbers are represented as x/y. The first number is their realized stat, and the second their potential. Prospects like your players will have stats that show high potential - but that may or may not be realized. They may start as 30/100, but as they develop, settle around 80/80. Maybe they even improve! It's a gamble and the result of many factors, from injury, to good coaches, to just plain luck. Keep in mind that as commissioner, I will be using the default scout, and not know the true values of these things. So there is even uncertainty about our current information. If you want to learn more about what the ratings actually do, this link has a breakdown from the manual, for links to what each individual rating actually signifies. I'll gladly elaborate on any weirdness in the game that comes up, but the OOTP manual is pretty good at explaining the basic game level questions. As players are created, I will simulate entire seasons of baseball. If enough interesting things happen, I may slow down and highlight them mid-season, but the beauty of OOTP is you can zoom through quite a bit of minutae and pick out the interesting bits! Did someone get in a motorcycle accident and hide it? Win big awards? Break MLB records? OOTP let's me shortlist only the goons, and highlight their accomplishments! I will be actively noting which players make historic goon firsts, lead among the goons, and otherwise distinguish themselves in fun, silly, or terrible ways. So... what would we actually do? The main thing I'd like is for goons to create players. After some players are created, we throw them into the Amateur Draft in waves of no more than a dozen per year. The amateur draft is held yearly in the MLB, with the lowest performing teams from the previous season drafting first. Once made, players can then choose to sign with a team or decline. Sometimes they decline or negotiate for a bigger "signing bonus," sometimes they hold out for a better draft position later, or sometimes they just want to go to college. That's determined in part by your player's personality, and a bit of randomness, as well as the relative cheapness of the GM of the drafting team. And we will definitely be keeping track of who makes the most bank. Will you upload the players' stats and whatnot online like last time? I may or may not depending on if I can get hosting going again. Stay tuned for that one. This sounds fun, what do you need me to do? It's pretty simple - just make a post filling out the template below, with a few important caveats. Here's the player creation screen:  First, I will roll a d20 to determine your player quality. It's not as fun if EVERYONE is a super legend, but also wouldn't be fun if half of you were shmucks who never made it at all. The lowest possible outcome will be good - that still has a solid chance of making it. Above it is star, and lastly legend, which is all but a guarantee to make the majors eventually, barring tragedy. I will also set everyone as young (18-21) and 50% developed. That way most of you will make it in before too long, but there's still time to excel or flop. If this gets popular enough or enough active players stick around until everyone retires, I'll consider doing a round of "generations" of players and let those whose players fizzled early make a new guy. Also, to prevent everyone being a two-way phenom or the next Ohtani (that indicates a player with talent both at hitting and pitching), I'm going to limit the number of two way players to two per generation (so two, for now). If more than two ask for it, I'll do a dice roll between them all to see who gets it. If the game randomly makes you a two-way player, I will respect that regardless, but be aware that it's exceedingly rare. You will, however, choose the rest. Player Template Name: First and Last Nickname: Leave blank if you want the default/random one that the game assigns you if you get skilled enough Position: What position do you want to play? To start, at least choose a fielding position for batters, a starting pitcher, or a relief pitcher. Could also leave it to the fates (as you can for anything after this). Player Type: Think of this as a specialization. Do you want a power hitter? Basestealer? TTO guy? Knuckleballer? Ultra fielder? All around? Random? I can do most things, and tweak things a bit toward whatever it is you want, but it’s still up to the fates whether it’ll pan out. Nationality/Hometown: Where are they from? Number: What number do they use (everyone probably will ask for 69, the game is weird if you try and go above 99) Height and Weight: Pure flavor but the game lists it a lot. Appearance: Any rough description, or post a portrait and I can add it to the game! It makes baseball cards out of it that show off awards and stats, so it's worth doing. Example Template: Name: Karl Marx Nickname: "Swoletariat" (leave blank for the game to generate one for you) Position: Closer Player Type: (Power guy, speed, defensive whiz, etc) Hometown (Must be in "primary" nation): Trier Primary Nationality: German Secondary Nationality: English Number: 48 Height and Weight: 5'9", 115 lbs  JosefStalinator fucked around with this message at 04:12 on Mar 28, 2023 |
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Jan 22, 2023 10:22
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Updates: Generation 1 Starts Here! 2022 MLB Season 2023 MLB Season (pt 1) 2023 MLB Season (pt 2) 2024 MLB Season 2025 MLB Season 2026 MLB Season 2027 MLB Season 2028 MLB Season 2029 MLB Season 2030 MLB Season 2031 MLB Season 2032 MLB Season 2033 MLB Season 2034 MLB Season 2035 MLB Season 2036 MLB Season 2037 World Baseball Classic/Preseason 2037 MLB Season 2038 MLB Season Generation 2 Starts Here! 2039 MLB Season 2040 MLB Season 2041 MLB Season 2042 MLB Season 2043 MLB Season 2044 MLB Season 2045 MLB Season 2046 MLB Season Generation 1 Sir Plusse    Awards: World Series Championship Ring with Detroit Tigers (2027) All Star Selection x1 (2033) Goon Pitcher of the Year Award x1 (2027) Drafted by Detroit Tigers, 2022 A.J. Kalan    Awards: Player of the Week x5 Batter of the Month x1 Silver Slugger x2 All-Star Selection x5 (2027, 2028, 2031, 2035, 2036) Goon Hitter of the Year Award x3 (2035, 2037, 2040) Drafted by New York Mets, 2022 Jeffthew McDichael    Awards:NONE Drafted by Colorado Rockies, 2022 Reggie Blank    Awards: Player of the Week x6 Rookie of the Year (2026) Silver Slugger x2 Golden Glove x2 World Series Championship Ring with Detroit Tigers (2027) All Star Selection x5 (2026, 2027, 2030, 2031, 2033) Goon Hitter of the Year Award x3 (2026, 2028, 2031) Goon Fielder of the Year Award x2 (2031, 2033) Drafted by Detroit Tigers, 2023 Charlie Brown    Awards: All Star Selection x1 (2034) Goon Pitcher of the Year Award x1 (2034) Drafted by Los Angeles Dodgers, 2023 Krillin Chestnut    Awards: NONE Drafted by Austin Kings (Now Montreal Expos), 2026 JosefStalinator fucked around with this message at 05:39 on Jul 3, 2023 |
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Jan 22, 2023 10:23
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 Honoring the Fallen Antoni Kemping    Awards: NONE Drafted by Baltimore Orioles, 2022 Retired 10/27/2024 Aaron Zinn    Awards: NONE Drafted by Pittsburgh Pirates, 2022 Retired 10/28/2025 Cash Considerations    Awards: NONE Drafted by Pittsburgh Pirates, 2023 Retired 10/28/2025 Lebron James    Awards: NONE Drafted by Kansas City Royals, 2024 Retired 10/22/2026 Cadoc Faughn    Awards: NONE Drafted by Baltimore Orioles, 2023 Retired 10/22/2026 Biggus Dickus    Awards: NONE Drafted by Chicago White Sox, 2023 Retired 10/18/2027 John Cena    Awards: NONE Drafted by Arizona Diamondbacks, 2022 Retired 10/24/31 Velo Victim    Awards: NONE Drafted by Kansas City Royals, 2026 Retired 10/24/31 Billy Dee    Awards: NONE Drafted by Texas Rangers, 2023 Retired 10/24/2031 Rex Sisters     Awards: NONE Drafted by San Diego Padres, 2023 Retired 09/30/2033 Steve McGee    Awards: NONE Drafted Washington Nationals, 2024 Retired 10/20/2033 Carl Tubbs    Awards: Player of the Week x1 2029 NL Wild Card MVP Drafted by Milwaukee Brewers, 2023 Retired 10/23/2035 Jack Glasscock    Awards: NONE Drafted by Miami Marlins, 2022 Retired 10/22/2036 Splodey Face    Awards: NONE Drafted by Philadelphia Phillies, 2023 Retired 10/03/2037 Mikhail Tukhachevsky    Awards: None Drafted by Washington Nationals, 2023 Retired 10/18/2037 Jose Alface    Awards: NONE Drafted by Pittsburgh Pirates, 2022 Retired 10/19/2037 Storg Storg    Awards: NONE Drafted by Chicago Cubs, 2024 Retired 10/19/2037 Jon Dowd    Awards: NONE Drafted by San Francisco Giants, 2023 Retired 10/19/2037 Adam Małysz    Awards: Golden Glove x2 Player of the Week x1 Goon Fielder of the Year Award x1 (2027) Drafted by Houston Astros, 2024 Retired 09/27/2038 Mr. Panda    Awards: NONE Drafted by San Diego Padres, 2024 Retired 10/06/2038 Actually Goku    Awards: None Drafted by the Cleveland Guardians, 2024 Retired 10/08/2039 Tim McCracken    Awards: Rookie of the Month x1 World Series Championship Ring with Detroit Tigers (2027) Drafted by Detroit Tigers, 2024 Retired 10/20/2038 Snorp "Polders" Borsgaard    Awards: Player of the Week x2 Batter of the Month x2 World Series Championship Rings with Texas Rangers (2029) All Star Selection x4 (2027, 2028, 2032, 2034) Drafted by Texas Rangers, 2022 Retired 10/04/2039 Kazuki Saito    Awards: Player of the Week x1 All Star Selection x5 (2027, 2028, 2029, 2031, 2035) Drafted by Cincinnati Reds, 2024 Retired 10/21/2039 Zell "Hot Dog" Dincht    Awards: NONE Drafted by Texas Rangers, 2024 Retired 10/21/2039 Josef "Gulag" Stalin    Awards: NONE Drafted by San Francisco Giants, 2022 Retired 10/21/2039 C.J.T.J.C.J.B. Clips    Awards: NONE Drafted by Miami Marlins, 2024 Retired 10/21/2039 Prince Vegeta    Awards: Pitcher of the Month x1 World Series Championship Ring with Chicago White Sox (2032) All Star Selection x11 (2028, 2029, 2030, 2031, 2032, 2033, 2034, 2035, 2036, 2037, 2038) Cy Young Award Voting 2nd Place x4 (2029, 2031, 2033, 2034) Cy Young Award Voting 3rd Place x1 (2032) World Baseball Classic Selection for Japan (2037) Prince Vegeta Award x10 (2026, 2028, 2029, 2030, 2031, 2032, 2033, 2035, 2037, 2038) Drafted by Chicago White Sox, 2024 Retired 10/09/2041 Patrick O'Doyle    Awards: Prince Vegeta Award x1 (2039) Drafted by Arizona Diamondbacks, 2024 Retired 10/23/2041 Douglas Dugless      Awards: Player of the Week x2 Batter of the Month x1 Golden Glove x2 Silver Slugger x1 2027 NL Wild Card MVP All-Star Selection x5 (2030, 2032, 2034, 2036, 2037) Goon Hitter of the Year Award x2 (2028, 2030) Goon Fielder of the Year Award x1 (2032) Drafted by Chicago Cubs, 2022 Retired 10/24/2041 Bureaugard Bitchface    Awards: NONE Drafted by Washington Nationals, 2022 Retired 10/23/2041 Jessie Crime    Drafted by Washington Nationals, 2025 Retired 10/23/2043 Awards: None Rich Mahogany    Drafted by Oakland Athletics, 2026 Retired 10/23/2043 Awards: Pitcher of the Month x1 All Star Selection x1 Prince Vegeta Award x3 (2036, 2040, 2041) Potato Manjack    Drafted by Los Angeles Angels, 2025 Retired 10/23/2043 Awards: None Megnogard Cooper    Drafted 2026 by Colorado Rockies Retired 10/21/44 Awards: Player of the Week x2 Rookie of the Month x2 Bantoni Kemping    Awards: Player of the Week x11 Batter of the Month x6 Rookie of the Month x2 Rookie of the Year (2029) Silver Slugger x3 (DH, LF) World Series Championship Ring with Toronto Blue Jays (2031) All Star Selection x6 (2029, 2031, 2032, 2033, 2034, 2037) Goon Hitter of the Year Award x5 (2032, 2033, 2036, 2039, 2041) Drafted by Toronto Blue Jays, 2026 Retired 10/17/44 SNK Replica    Awards: Player of the Week x4 Batter of the Month x1 Rookie of the Month x1 Rookie of the Year (2028) Golden Glove x5 (CF) Silver Slugger x2 (CF) AL Division Series MVP (2028) MVP Award 2nd Place x1 (2034) All Star Selection x6 (2029, 2030, 2032, 2034, 2035, 2036) Goon Hitter of the Year Award x3 (2029, 2034, 2038) Goon Fielder of the Year Award x1 (203) Drafted by Detroit Tigers, 2026 Retired 10/21/44 Bob "Rooster" Glass    Awards: Player of the Week x2 Golden Glove x1 Silver Slugger x3 All Star Selection x5 (2028, 2032, 2036) Goon Fielder of the Year Award x2 (2028, 2029, 2036, 2038, 2039) Championship Ring x2 (2040, 2041) Goon Hitter of the Year Award x1 (2042) Drafted by New York Mets, 2025 Retired 10/04/2044 JosefStalinator fucked around with this message at 05:15 on Jul 3, 2023 |
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Jan 22, 2023 10:26
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Name: John Cena Nickname: The Champ Position: Centre field Player Type: Power hitter Nationality/Hometown: West Newbury, MA Number: 25 Height and Weight: 6 ft 1 in, 251 lb Appearance:  (john cena with hair and a suit is way funnier than one of his wrestling pics)
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Jan 22, 2023 15:40
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Oh, nice! Name: José Alface Nickname: Zé Position: Catcher Player Type: Power hitter Nationality/Hometown: Beja, Portugal Number: 7 Height and Weight: 5 ft 2, 220 lbs Appearance: Pale skin, black hair, big moustache.
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Jan 22, 2023 16:55
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...Sports aren't really my thing, really, but I might as well add my bad joke to the pile early on and watch the resulting train wreck. Name: Sir Plusse Nickname: Stupid Position: Some pitcher Player type: Don't care as long as he can pitch Nationality/Hometown: Randomize Number: 0 if it'll accept it, 99 otherwise Height and Weight: Randomize, but preferably short Appearance: That generic guy over there, yeah, you don't see him because there's someone else to take attention off him Also, if possible, make him a lefty. Just as you don't want every goon-player to be excessively good or excessively bad, I'd like a mix of left-handed and right-handed players. May or may not matter, but if they're gonna put it in I want to make use of it.
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Jan 22, 2023 17:07
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Name: Snorp Börsgaard Nickname: Polders Position: SS/2B Player Type: Discipline/speed (think Ichiro but probably not "Ichiro" Ichiro) Nationality/Hometown: Rotterdam, Netherlands Number: 15 Height and Weight: 5'11", 175lbs Appearance: Dutch
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Jan 22, 2023 17:35
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Name: Antoni Kemping Nickname: "Camp" Position: Center Fielder (OF) Player Type: Very speedy contact hitter, lots of stealing Nationality/Hometown: Krakow, Poland Number: 27 Height and Weight: 6', 190 lbs Appearance: 
Popete fucked around with this message at 17:58 on Jan 22, 2023 |
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Jan 22, 2023 17:55
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Name: Jack Glasscock Nickname: Captain Position: SS/2B Player Type: Great fielder, high average, low power Nationality/Hometown: Wheeling, WV Number: 11 Height and Weight: 5'8, 170 Appearance: 
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Jan 22, 2023 17:58
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Name: Panda Nickname: Shooter Position: Starting Pitcher (SP) Player Type: Fastball/change/splitter power pitcher Nationality/Hometown: China Number: 7 Height and Weight: 5'11", 395 lbs Appearance: 
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Jan 22, 2023 19:57
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Name: Aaron Zinn Nickname: Toolbox Position: Relief pitcher, ideally middle reliever/setup man Player Type: I would like him to have seven different pitches if at all possible. Nationality/Hometown: Seven Fields, Pennsylvania Number: 77 Height and Weight: 6'5", any weight Appearance: Slim, dark curly hair
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Jan 22, 2023 20:10
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Note: OOTP is being a pain in the rear end about the custom pictures and not displaying them in the profile (but otherwise working fine). So for some of you, I'll be doing baseball cards until I can figure out why it's doing this! I may just switch them all over to it later.biosterous posted:Name: John Cena John Cena   Our first generated goon (after myself), Mr. John "The Champ" Cena. He's got a potential rating of 70, which is pretty great, and is looking like a very talented Third Basemen. His potential power is very good, his discipline elite, and his defensive skills at third also excellent. I took a peek at his stats and he has a 190/200 intelligence, so he's got genius level IQ with high work ethic, loyalty, and adaptability. Also, for some reason the game REFUSES to show his picture when I upload it. Had to do a different one to make it work. Maybe it's in on the meme? Average Lettuce posted:Oh, nice! Jose Alface    Jose auto-generates as a true power hitter, but with some decent discipline to anchor him. The Portuguese wonder is a towering catcher at 6'5" and only 200 pounds, so I worry for his future back. Not a great defensive catcher, he also has an extremely high "controversy" personality rating and is bad at handling failure, so we will see if he can handle the ups and downs of minor league life. CptWedgie posted:...Sports aren't really my thing, really, but I might as well add my bad joke to the pile early on and watch the resulting train wreck. Sir Plusse Sir "Stupid" Plusse is our first pitcher, and he came out looking pretty solid. Nothing in particular stands out among his ratings other than a mediocre potential for control (meaning he's more likely to miss his targets and walk opposing batters), and an extremely mean cutter. His pitching arsenal is impressive, with the potential to have 5 solid pitches at his disposal. Somewhat more interesting though is his, uh, "personality":  His intelligence is 12 out of 200, and his controversy is 190, even higher than Jose. Outspoken is one way to put it - there's a very good chance this dummy is going to be caught using PEDS. (I know you said you wanted him to be generic, but this result sets up some pretty funny outcomes). rickiep00h posted:Name: Snorp Börsgaard Snorp Börsgaard    Hailing from the Netherlands, Snorp "Polders" Borsgaard (the game couldn't render the umlaut!) may be our most promising prospect yet. Extremely speedy and with power and contact abilities, Snorp can do basically anything, with only a mild weakness in discipline/strikeouts, and pretty mediocre to bad defense. I tried googling "generic dutch man" to get a good picture for your dude, but it just kept showing me pictures of Zwarte Piet. Almost used one of em. Popete posted:Name: Antoni Kemping Antoni Kemping   Vaguely familiar but sporting a strange, exaggerated foreign accent, Antoni "Camp" Kemping is easily one of the fastest of our first generation of goons, with a 94/100 speed, and 78/100 stealing ability. His fielding ratings are solid but unspectacular, but his ability to hit in the gap, combined with speed, will make him a doubles/triples machine. Also, he apparently kicks rear end at poker? Note: I fixed his incorrect uniform number after I took the screenshots! camoseven posted:Name: Jack Glasscock Jack Glasscock    Jack "Captain" Glasscock brings an old timey spirit of grit and determination, and has some of the best fielding ratings among our goons, with decent contact/discipline to boot. His best "tool" in his personality is an insane work ethic of 170/200, with pretty great ratings at handling critics, adaptability, low greed, etc. All around a nice, old timey dude with a fantastic 'stache, a bet on Glasscock is a good one. Just not in a race, because despite fitting the archetype of the small, wirey contact shortstop guy, he's slower than molasses. He must have some Matrix-level reflexes or something to have 94 range. Mr. Panda    (The game NEEDS a first and last name, so feel free to let me know how you want me to change it) Clocking in at nearly 400 lbs, Mr. Panda is a very controversial player. Initially looked over by scouts as too hulking to be able to play the game, promises to forgo his pay for bamboo shoots, and citing a complete "inability to be cancelled," the MLB allowed the hulking pitcher to qualify for the amateur draft. Confident and completely unwavering once he gets on the mound, he is still somehow faster than Glasscock. While Mr. Panda throws for power (with a fastball clocking in at a max of 100MPH, very impressive for a starter), his control and movement outclass his "stuff," meaning he's a precision pitcher moreso than a strikeout guy. Panda's main problem is his somewhat weak pitch repetoire - if he can develop a new pitch, or drastically improve his changeup, he can turn into an elite pitcher. If he can't he may struggle, or end up being converted to a reliever.  Note the 196/200 controversy. It's perfect (I did not change any of it). Also fixed his number later. Aaron Zinn   So as a bit of an experiment, I gave Aaron Zinn extremely low potential ratings in 5 additional pitches to the two he started with. He already came out extremely strong (don't know why OOTP loves our goon relievers so much), so I didn't want to make him too overpowered and shaved a bit off his two beginning pitches. Regardless he's quite talented, and I doubt his additional pitches will be used often - but it will be interesting to see if anything comes of them! His biggest flaw is that his movement is quite mediocre - meaning while he will likely evolve into a late innings reliever based on his stuff/control, he will be prone to giving up dingers on occasion. Especially if he relies on one of his much shittier pitches. Our goons so far are looking good - but again, remember that the default scout can be very inaccurate/wrong... and they may or may not actually develop to their potential! 
JosefStalinator fucked around with this message at 20:57 on Jan 22, 2023 |
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Jan 22, 2023 20:54
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Name: Beauregard Bitchface Nickname: "Princess" Position: Shortstop Player Type: Runner, rando the rest Nationality/Hometown: Swedish, Miami Florida Number: 92 Height and Weight: 6', 180 lbs 
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Jan 22, 2023 21:21
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Name: A.J. Kalan Nickname: Narcissus Position: Right fielder Player Type: Contact hitter, baserunner, focus on avoiding errors while fielding Nationality/Hometown: Lebanon, KS Number: 44 Height and Weight: 5'11", 180lbs Appearance:  (random face from This Person Does Not Exist)
ajkalan fucked around with this message at 23:07 on Jan 22, 2023 |
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Jan 22, 2023 21:29
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Name: Douglas Dugless Nickname: Fat Doug Position: Position player, or Catcher Player Type: Base stealer/runner Nationality/Hometown: Random Number: 42 Height and Weight: Maximum on both. Appearance: Fake tan, brown afro, brown goatee. Always wears a sleeveless flannel shirt, unbuttoned, with no shirt under when not playing. Also has an eye patch that he may or may not actually need.  The picture is fuzzy so later when I'm home I'll get a better one for you, this is just here for reference. Unless you think a paparazzi quality picture from the 80s is funnier. Edit: 
Admiral Joeslop fucked around with this message at 23:35 on Jan 22, 2023 |
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Jan 22, 2023 21:30
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Wait, Georgia, or Georgia? Name: Jeffthew McDichael (Jeff for short) Nickname: Mr. Fix-It Position: Shortstop Player Type: Very fast. Good at catching errant balls and stealing bases when in a pinch. Nationality/Hometown: Toronto (whether Toronto, ON or Toronto, SD is up to you) Number: 18 going on 30 Height and Weight: you figure it out, I have no idea Appearance: 
Quackles fucked around with this message at 01:28 on Jan 23, 2023 |
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Jan 22, 2023 21:41
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Name: Cadoc Faughn Nickname: random Position: Catcher Player Type: bunt specialist Nationality/Hometown: Porthyrhyd, Wales, UK Number: 77 Height and Weight: 6’ 2” Appearance: make him look like a young Richard Burton
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Jan 22, 2023 21:49
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JosefStalinator posted:Sir Plusse ...Can you change him to be left-handed though? Like I said, I'd prefer to have at least one lefty in the pool. edit: Considering that 21 in Handle Critics, I feel like the most likely scandal for this idiot to be involved in is starting a fistfight with an interviewer. CptWedgie fucked around with this message at 22:18 on Jan 22, 2023 |
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Jan 22, 2023 21:50
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I did have a friend ask how one could look Dutch, so I guess it makes sense that Google doesnt know either.
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Jan 22, 2023 22:03
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Name: Lebron James Nickname: "Better Than Michael" Position: Corner Outfielder (but can slide over to CF, ala Judge) Player Type: Power hitter, good outfield range Nationality/Hometown: Akron, Ohio Number: 23 Height and Weight: 6'9", 250
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Jan 22, 2023 22:22
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JosefStalinator posted:Jose Alface Glorious moustache! Shame that he looks like the worst of the lot, but let's see how things develop. Also, the weight/height is pretty far from what was requested. I don't really mind and it seems like it doesn't matter, but it seemed weird.
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Jan 22, 2023 22:34
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I'm gonna base those balls so hard. Name: Carl Tubbs Nickname: "Useless" Position: Random Player Type: Give me all the Random Nationality/Hometown: Atlantic City, NJ Number: 2 Height and Weight: 5'7", 320 lbs Appearance: 
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Jan 22, 2023 23:01
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Name: Billy Dee Nickname: "Pickle" Position: Left Fielder Player Type: An all-rounder, all around. Nationality/Hometown: Philadelphia, PA Number: 20 Height/Weight: 5'9, 200 Appearance: A pale young redhead, no facial hair. Throwing a guy into the ring.
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Jan 22, 2023 23:04
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Name: Cash Considerations Nickname: Money Position: 2B Player Type: Ultra Fielder Nationality/Hometown: Atherton, CA Number: 4 Height and Weight: 5'10 185lbs Appearance: 
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Jan 22, 2023 23:19
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Name: Rex Sisters Nickname: "Tyrant" Position: 1B/3B Player Type: Power Hitter, Random Nationality/Hometown: Faith, SD Number: 93 Height and Weight: 6'5", 260 lbs. Appearance: 
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Jan 22, 2023 23:42
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JosefStalinator posted:John Cena perfect
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Jan 22, 2023 23:54
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Name: Biggus Dickus Nickname: Horse Position: (Starting) Pitcher Player Type: Knuckleballer/Lefty Junkballer Nationality/Hometown: East Bumfuckshire, UK Number: 69 Height and Weight: 6-2, 215 Appearance: Surprise Me
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Jan 23, 2023 00:10
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CptWedgie posted:Living down to his nickname by being an idiot savant? One of the biggest troublemakers in the league, second only to a literal panda? I couldn't ask for a better nuisance to inflict on some poor, unsuspecting team! The fact that he's got an absolutely vicious pitch makes it even better; that's the kind of pitch that can make a pitcher's career, and he's got others to fall back on so he doesn't get predictable, too, which means that unless he does something really stupid (not putting it past him with that 6% Int stat) he'll get a chance to start scandals on live television! Oh yes my mistake, will update him to be a lefty! Average Lettuce posted:Glorious moustache! Shame that he looks like the worst of the lot, but let's see how things develop. Also, the weight/height is pretty far from what was requested. I don't really mind and it seems like it doesn't matter, but it seemed weird. Oopsie, forgot to change his height and weight. Will do so later - though I don't think it changes anything (we'll find out if Panda or Fat Doug see any changes). IcePhoenix posted:Name: Cash Considerations The king is back! Looking forward to some more blockbuster trades. Will add in the rest of the new goons later tonight - we probably have enough for the first year's batch.
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Jan 23, 2023 00:42
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gently caress yes, this was so fun last time. Name: Splodey Face Nickname: whatever Position: 2B Player Type: TTO type Nationality/Hometown: American, from somewhere in Kansas Number: 47 Height and Weight: 6', 190 Appearance: random
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Jan 23, 2023 04:15
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Name: Reggie Blank Nickname: The Blank Position: Center Fielder Player Type: High average, high OBP, moderate power; high speed utilized for fielding, but is a conservative base runner and batter Nationality/Hometown: Indianapolis, IN Number: 58 Height and Weight: 6'2", 228 lbs Appearance: Muscular/athletic, Caucasian, Clean shaven, wears thick-framed black glasses, never smiles and appears emotionless
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Jan 23, 2023 05:33
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Name: Mikhail Tukhachevsky Nickname: Red Napoleon Position: Shortstop Player Type: All power and speed please, anything else random. Nationality/Hometown: Russian, Smolensk Number: #5 Height and Weight: 5"7, 170 lbs Appearance: 
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Jan 23, 2023 06:11
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Here's a picture of Beauregard Bitchface from his rookie card...
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Jan 23, 2023 07:07
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Humbug Scoolbus posted:Name: Beauregard Bitchface Beauregard Bitchface    The Swedish sensation Beauregard "Princess" Bitchface has the makings of a speedy utility hitter - not particular great at hitting (aside from by far the bets gap power potential I've seen in a long time), but able to play basically any position defensively except catcher. His biggest weaknesses are his very mediocre contact rating, limiting his offensive ability, and his error proneness - while he has the speed, arm, and range to cruise the field with ease, he's got a bit of a case of butterfingers. His error proneness may determine whether he succeeds or fails in the bigs. His highest personality trait is adaptability - which makes sense! Also - the game won't let you set nationalities different than your hometown, so I had him be American first (for the hometown), and Swedish second. ajkalan posted:Name: A.J. Kalan A.J. Kalan A.J. "Narcissus" Kalan is one of the speediest players yet, and has a pretty phenomenal stealing/baserunning ability too. With high contact, discipline, and gap power, he's probably the highest offensive threat so far. His biggest weakness aside from some mediocre power/strikeout potential, is his fielding - one nasty injury or a few years of mediocre outfielding could see him converted to a DH or first baseman, but I think he'll manage. Also weirdly, the game generated a dude whose name was Alan Kaplan from Kansas City, MO, which was weirdly close to your original desire. I considered it fate. The game doesn't recognize Lebanon, KS for some reason, despite otherwise being pretty good about having smallish towns on the map. Let me know if you have a backup city. Admiral Joeslop posted:Name: Douglas Dugless Douglas Dugless    Douglas "Fat Doug" Dugless turned out to be a pretty fascinating guy - I discovered that there is technically no maximum to weight and height, other than overflow error at about 300 feet and 2000lbs. I settled on 7 feet and 400 lbs, to keep it insane but realistic to have a speedy as hell 400 pound dude patrolling the outfield and basepaths. Dugless has great potential as a utility outfielder with a bit of pop - something of a Joc Pederson, but with better fielding potential and speed. Hopefully his mediocre to poor batting ratings don't hold him back!  Also - that personality! Douglas is the most loyal player I've yet seen - whichever team drafts him will have a very easy time signing an extension. And Fat Doug is never, ever impeded by failure. I would absolutely want Fat Doug behind me in a fight. EDIT: A new discovery - apparently Dogulas has some potential at pitcher! Not a lot, and I doubt it develops, but it's worth watching!  Will he be a two-way player? Probably not, but it would be fun if he did! Quackles posted:Wait, Georgia, or Georgia? Jeffthew McDichael ANOTHER speed shortstop - Jeffthew "Mr. Fix-It" McDichel is our first Canadian goon, and carries an old timey spirit. He has some of the best discipline and speed of the batch, but is strangely handicapped in a few ways. His ability to play second and short is impeded by his hatred of double plays, which he calls a "corruption" of the true game of baseball, and may end up with him at third. He also despises dingers, calling them the "provenance of the Italians," and has sworn to only ever hit inside the park home runs. Given his gap power and nonexistent power, that may come true. He also has the best work ethic of any goon (197/200), and reportedly sleeps only 4 hours a day, training the rest of the time. Work ethic is actually a factor in the game, as high work ethic increases the odds of realizing potential. That's the first 13 goons! I don't want to clog up the draft by putting EVERY goon in at once - don't fret if I haven't added you yet, I'll do another dozen in 2023. For now, we must see how 2022 goes - and which, if any, goons get drafted and start their journey to the majors!  EDIT: A bonus look at the personalities of the class of '22  JosefStalinator fucked around with this message at 08:46 on Jan 23, 2023 |
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Jan 23, 2023 08:33
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I love that Fat Doug pitches right but bats left  It doesn't really matter but now we know the height and weight limits. Fat Doug comes from WWF No Mercy on the N64, where the limit is 7' 11" and 599 lbs. If you're still able to change them to that, cool. If not, also cool.
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Jan 23, 2023 09:16
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2022 Season The year is 2022. The Braves have just come off their World Series win, while Dusty Baker is still in search of his first ring as manager of the Astros. Shohei Ohtani crushed competition for the AL MVP in 2021, with Bryce Harper silencing the haters in the NL for his own MVP. The Giants shocked everyone with a franchise record 107 wins - 1 above their rival dodgers, only to lose to them in the NLDS. The season was marked by the final impediments of the COVID19 pandemic, for while the season saw 162 games, most stadiums were not at full capacity until the second half of the season. The rules changes for the 2022 season are also implemented - which includes the universal DH, rules changes for We start in April, 2022. Will history repeat itself and the Astros finally get Dusty a ring? Or will the existence of goons create a more chaotic environment? Here are the preseason predictions for the 2022 season, according to OOTP:   Some of these definitely did not materialize in real life - the AL Central in particular is quite far off, but who knows what surprises the future holds! Goons won't have much impact this year, so we can skip to the amateur draft.  Goons largely dominate this year's draft class, with Jose Alface toping the league's list. Considering he has one of the lower potential ratings of the goons, I don't know what this is based on, but good for him! The first year player draft arrives quickly, as our goons are silently finishing their studies at High School and College.  Here is the current draft order - with goons dominating the top prospects list, those first dozen teams are the most likely to snatch you up!   Here's how the goons stand on the day of the draft. Looks like quite a few of you are holdouts - maybe they want to go to college? "Extremely Hard" doesn't mean impossible, so if a team throws money at you, it might still happen. 2022 Amateur Draft Results 1.1 Antoni Kemping, CF - Baltimore Orioles 1.2 John Cena, 3B - Arizona Diamondbacks 1.3 Snorp Borsgaard, 2B - Texas Rangers 1.4 Jose Alface, C - Pittsburgh Pirates 1.5 Beauregard Bitchface, SS - Washington Nationals 1.6 Jack Glasscock, SS - Miami Marlins 1.7 Douglas Dugless, CF - Chicago Cubs 1.8 Mr. Panda, SP - Minnesota Twins 1.10 Jeffthew McDaniel, SS - Colorado Rockies 1.12 Sir Plusse, SP - Detroit Tigers 1.14 A.J. Kalan, RF - NY Mets 1.30 Josef Stalin, C - San Francisco Giants (My fav team! I swear I didn't rig it) 2.2 Aaron Zinn, RP - Pittsburgh Pirates Goons absolutely cleaned up this draft, taking the top 8 picks in a row, and dominating the first dozen or so picks. They must have changed the formula for player generation because the previous iteration of this thread definitely had a wider spread - this group was definitely a bit lucky on the rolls of my dice too. Congrats to Antoni Kemping for taking the first overall pick - he is listed as hard though, so we will have to wait and see which goons take their respective offers, and which choose to continue their studies. Given how well most of them did in this initial draft, they would be fools to decline, but who knows!  While we are waiting, Mike Trout wins the Home Run Derby  . The AL wins the 2022 All-Star game, being powered by superstar Spencer Torkelson (???) crushing a dinger off Josh Hader in the ninth to win it. Can't complain about six dingers.  Standings at the All-Star break are largely as per the game's projections - with the Yankees and Dodgers leading their respective leagues  .The rangers though... yikes.  The Rangers are eliminated in August.  Mitch Haniger apparently hates playing for the languishing Mariners. This is the kind of negative press our future controversial goons may attract!  We have our first goon injury somehow! Before any goon even picks up a bat to play in the minors, Sir "Stupid" Plusse becomes overwhelmed by his success in the draft, and suffers from heart palpitations, being sidelined for 4 days. Right wing media immediately blamed the COVID19 vaccine, but Sir Plusse insists he isn't vaccinated against anything. 2022 Amateur Draft Results - Signings 1.1 Antoni Kemping, CF - Baltimore Orioles - $12,270,000 1.2 John Cena, 3B - Arizona Diamondbacks - $13,750,000 1.3 Snorp Borsgaard, 2B - Texas Rangers - $10,270,000 1.4 Jose Alface, C - Pittsburgh Pirates - $13,750,000 1.5 Beauregard Bitchface, SS - Washington Nationals - DID NOT SIGN (going to college!) 1.6 Jack Glasscock, SS - Miami Marlins - $7,160,000 1.7 Douglas Dugless, CF - Chicago Cubs - $5,790,000 1.8 Mr. Panda, SP - Minnesota Twins - DID NOT SIGN (going to college) 1.10 Jeffthew McDaniel, SS - Colorado Rockies - $11,550,000 1.12 Sir Plusse, SP - Detroit Tigers - $8,210,000 1.14 A.J. Kalan, RF - NY Mets - $6,710,000 1.30 Josef Stalin, C - San Francisco Giants - $3,330,000 2.2 Aaron Zinn, RP - Pittsburgh Pirates - $2,080,000 Goons absolutely cleaned up and get PAID - with John Cena and Jose Alface tying for the best bonuses. Mr. Panda and Beauregard Bitchface forwent their signing bonuses and went to college instead - should be interesting to see if they end up getting paid whenever they do choose to get drafted in the future. Those who get drafted will immediately enter their respective teams' minor leagues. Should be some time before any are promoted, but they will start to see their "overall" ratings approach their potentials. The 2022 season ends, as goons begin their development. 2022 Final Standings  The nationals... made the playoffs? And the Astros... unlike the real 2022, won 85 games and didn't make the playoffs. No ring for Dusty! 2022 League Leaders  2022 Playoff Results  The New York Mets are your 2022 World Series Champions! They swept the Brewers and Dodgers, narrowly defeated the Cards, and then defeated Tampa Bay 4 - 2. Three of those wins were shutouts  , by Lugo, DeGrom, and Scherzer.But what of the goons?  Doesn't look like too many goons have budged in their ratings yet - though Bitchface's numbers continue to decline, and I am wondering if he made a big mistake by not signing when he had the chance. All goons are currently in the Rookie Leagues (the lowest level), and it looks like thus far only Jack Glasscock has made an appearance:  Congrats Jack Glasscock for being the first goon to make a professional appearance! We will ignore the fact that you appeared in one game, 3 times, and struck out each time.  Apparently Justin Verlander is... retiring and running for Congress? I guess we've all seen his hog, so it would be appropriate.  Chicago, Arizona, Seattle, and Toronto all axe their GM's after disappointing seasons. The 2022 awards are announced - no goons for a while, but we'll take a peek at the major ones: NL Cy Young: Alex Wood, SFG AL Cy Young: Gerrit Cole, NYY NL MVP: Juan Soto, WAS AL MVP: Shohei Ohtani, LAA My Giants fanboy-dom continues to somehow bleed into this game by gifting Alex Wood of all players the NL Cy Young, beating out Chris Bassitt and Brandon Woodruff? Thus concludes the 2022 season. It will be some time before our goons make it to the majors! Next time - the 2023 season, more goons are added, and hopefully our first batch start to make their mark on the minors! Feel free to continue making goons, and if you guys have any questions or want to see anything from your players or random stuff of your favorite real life MLB players in the simulation, feel free to ask!
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Jan 23, 2023 10:19
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The Cubs?? God damnit Doug you were supposed to go to the Padres. How many years into the future does this games simulate? What happens if you hit 2060 and all current real life players are retired, I assume the game just continues making up random players plus what you make?
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Jan 23, 2023 16:12
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JosefStalinator posted:Feel free to continue making goons, and if you guys have any questions or want to see anything from your players or random stuff of your favorite real life MLB players in the simulation, feel free to ask! Can we put some little guy like Nicky Lopez on a massive amount of steroids? Edit: No, wait, make it Myles Straw. Red fucked around with this message at 17:12 on Jan 23, 2023 |
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Jan 23, 2023 16:21
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Oh Snorp, you poor bastard. Good on ya for taking almost 11m from the coffers of the Rangers, but let's hope you get flipped to somewhere that isn't a machine shed of a ballpark, with a real team around you.
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Jan 23, 2023 16:24
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Captain Glasscock!! Let's goooo!!!!
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Jan 23, 2023 16:27
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Name: Jon Dowd Nickname: The GOAT Position: Left Fielder Player Type: Power hitter Nationality/Hometown: Riverside, CA Number: 51 Height and Weight: 6'2'' 228 Appearance: Picture below: 
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Jan 23, 2023 16:31
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