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A But still kill him
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Mar 6, 2023 22:56
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It's so goddamn beautiful.
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Mar 6, 2023 23:04
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Red posted:Illitch burned down the current franchise in Indy, Detroit is better off starting from scratch. I wouldn't wish the Cleveland Brownsing on my worst enemy, which is saying a lot because Michigan is one of Ohio's worst enemies, historically. this, however? This I'm into.
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Mar 6, 2023 23:09
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Monathin posted:I wouldn't wish the Cleveland Brownsing on my worst enemy, which is saying a lot because Michigan is one of Ohio's worst enemies, historically. It makes what happened in Baltimore so much worse, with Irsey sneaking the Colts out in the middle of the night (to Indianapolis...huh...), and then Modell doing the same thing with the Browns and turning them into the Ravens.
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Mar 7, 2023 00:50
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punched my v-card at camp posted:A This
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Mar 7, 2023 01:29
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Ammat The Ankh posted:Option A but rename them the Beisbolcats. Unironically this. punched my v-card at camp posted:A And also this.
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Mar 7, 2023 18:32
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By a vote of ~12 - 7 (there was an ambiguous vote or two), the goons have spoken! The team will be moved back to Detroit, and the goons will responsibly surrender control to a new ownership group. The MLB will accept the Michigander Liberation Army's demands. I do love the idea of the beisbolcats though. So we'll have a quick up and down vote on renaming them the beisbolcats, with the logo. Vote Here: https://poll-maker.com/poll4733145xcd7547C3-147 We'll leave the "Golden Knights" in Indy for one more season (which I'll probably sim tonight or tomorrow) to get a proper response from Manfred and see if they'll be the Tigers or Beisbolcats. And whether Ilitch lives. Such responsible goons.
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Mar 7, 2023 22:37
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2035 Baseball Season While a tense terrorist situation wraps up, and Detroit is poised to once again host a baseball team, our goons have been working hard at their craft. 2034 wasn't nearly as weird a year as the proceeding ones - we saw our goons generally perform well, with a healthy Replica putting together arguably the best season of any goon to date. Her competition with Bantoni Kemping has only gotten more intense, as Kemping bested her in the HR derby by one dinger, only for Replica to flex her muscle by ending the regular season with one more home run - and with far fewer PA's. We also saw the rise of Charlie Brown, as our goons generally settled in, and Dugless continued his tradition of playing one season and again entering free agency, and getting horrendously hurt in the process. The biggest downer of last season was Reggie Blank, who had the worst season of his career. Is our former stud dead in the water, or on the verge of a comeback like his buddy Snorp? We'll find out! I've been neglectful of our coaching goons, so let's check in on them first before we go anywhere:  Our goons have all had no problem finding work in short order - with Antoni Kemping likely only temporarily unemployed. We have four goons working in the MLB but alas none managing as yet - Cash Considerations remains our most promising future MLB manager, and is on the last year of his AAA managing contract.  He actually won the award for manager of the year in 2029! I hope his 8-9 years of experience and great reputation result in him being our first MLB manager goon! His ratings are pretty drat good, so I think it's likely!  The start of the year sees Bitchface, Dugless, Face, Plusse, and Saito testing free agency and seeking new employment. Bitchface still has 3 months left to recover from "post-concussion syndrome," but the rest are ready to get back on the field. I don't doubt Dugless or Saito will find a new team, and I bet Plusse is in good shape, but Face and Bitchface (the faces?) may linger a bit longer or settle for minor league contracts.  Did Plusse have low intelligence when we first generated him? Apparently he's as dumb as Goku now!   Not many changes to teams loaded with goons - the Dodgers and Braves look to be making some waves, which could be good for Malysz, though I fear for our marginal Dodgers goons aching for a roster spot. The Golden Knights shed even more talent after already underperforming in '34. Ilitch making a very strong case for the  .  We have our first big signing of 2035! Saito signs a two year, ~$15 million deal with Boston to be their every day third baseman. Saito's been in a slow but steady decline for a few seasons now, but is still putting up decent enough numbers to warrant continued playing time, and has the potential to surge back a bit. He'll need to hope he does well in Boston if he wants to get another, more lucrative deal after - he'll be 34 when he's done with the Red Sox.   Zell Dincht has almost perfectly skirted the line between positive and negative WAR for 5 seasons now, but continued to get consistent playing time off the bench in Minnesota. Now that he's in Mexico City, a team that is truly struggling, it looks like they're going to let him bat in the heart of the order. I love this because it will let us see if Zell really has what it takes and has been held back by inconsistent use, or is truly marginal.   Sir Plusse also manages to snag a new team and a raise! His good work with Houston is rewarded with a significantly better contract with the Braves, joining Malysz as the team tries to improve on last year's mediocrity and make the playoffs. Perhaps the most interesting aspect of this contract is that Plusse has been converted BACK to a starting pitcher and promised the role by the Braves as part of his signing! We'll see if he returns to form. The first day of Spring Training sees all employed goons except Panda and Storg on the MLB roster. I'm loving Panda's continued ability to get paid and never get promoted.   The madlad does it again! Dugless snags ANOTHER 1-year, $10 million dollar contract, this time joining Saito and the Red Sox. This will be Dugless' fifth team and fifth year straight with a one year deal. Maybe if he stays healthy, Boston will be the one that keeps him.  Don't let Dugless' ronin status fool you - he's made over $70 million and is easily one of the higher paid goons, just not on the level of the big multi-year deals like Glass or Replica. We get through Spring mostly injury free, but:  Charlie Brown will miss the first few weeks of the season, his back broken from trying desperately to carry Miami last season.   Spring Training ends and the regular season begins - the Faces are still without a team, and many of our goons are demoted back to the minors. Panda notably, despite making $3 million (and thus making many times any other minor leaguers), is the only one in AA. I miss our tradition of Vegeta always pitching opening day, but it looks like that dream is dead  .  Bob Glass spooks me by straining his posterior cruciate ligament - any time I see ligament damage I freak out a bit. But apparently it's only a two week injury, so he'll live.   Oh goons! Clips gets into a fight with real named person Malachi Witherspoon, leading to suspensions. At least you didn't Kalan it up and do it in the final game of the season, and miss the playoffs.   Okay, I think I've finally accepted why teams won't sign Dugless to multi-year deals. Dude is just simply incapable of keeping his body in one piece for months at a time.   Replica, despite coming off the best goon season to date, is having an absolutely awful start to 2035. It looks like she might be turning it back around though! She's batting under the Mendoza line through May, yikes.  Uh oh... not only are the faces without teams, but Goku and Tubbs are released by Arizona and San Francisco respectively in May/June. This is not a great sign, but inevitable. At some point our high tide of so many goons playing in the MLB will begin to decline - though it's too early to say whether any of these four will find gainful employment this season.  Potato Manjack totally fucks up his hamstring during an ill-timed prank, missing two months of the season. Other than he and Dugless, it's been a pretty healthy first half!   Tubbs is fueled by spite, and his being cut by the Giants is turned into something productive, as the Padres sign him to a minor league deal and he rakes in AAA.   Dugless. Stop. Getting. Hurt. Those are indeed two separate injuries. At least they're minor.   Cooper is also suffering from lingering injuries. Our goons are turning into old men, with knees that bother them a lot and don't cripple them but also never get better. Such is being in your 30's.   Our goons are fragile little snowflakes, and now Replica is out for 3 weeks. I shouldn't say anything more or I'll continue to jinx them.   I won't say anything. Instead, it's All-Star time!     Be more like Vegeta goons. Never gets hurt. Wins 8 AS nods in a row.Saito's back for his fifth! Replica is also back for her fifth, but must be riding the wave of last season - because this season she is NOT in All-Star form. Kalan is back too, for his fourth overall! This might be the biggest gap in AS appearances - his last appearance was waaaay back in 2031! Only four goons this year? Honestly a bit disappointing, but when we see the stats later, we'll see that goons are having a kind of anemic start to 2035.  This guy made the All-Star roster too, with a real pilgrim-esq name, but I kinda like it. No goons volunteer for or are qualified for the HR Derby, which makes me sad. Where's our boy Bantoni!? He hit 22 Home Runs so far and hasn't been hurt, guess he just wasn't feeling it. Also, I went to check some injury histories and noticed this:  That blank space? That's Vegeta's injury history. Not even a day missed to the goddamn flu. Dude has made 32 starts or more 9 seasons in a row. Absolute goddamn stud.  The most uninteresting All-Star Game yet! Vegeta pitching a beautiful scoreless inning, and Saito walks. That's the entirety of the goon participation.  What's been going on then? What story do the stats tell us? 2035 All-Star Batting Stats  Oof. Not our most inspiring season - I'm not seeing too much abject failure, but a LOT of clustering around average play. In something of a throwback, it's AJ Kalan who looks to be having the best first half so far. He's batting above .300 which is fairly par the course for him, but he's also showing some great power numbers and a spike in walks too! His 3.5 war already eclipses last year's total of 2.4, and he's on pace to have his best season yet! Saito is the other surprise here - I always viewed Kalan and Saito as mirrors of each other, one a contact guy and the other more of a power guy, but called up around the same time. The move to Boston is serving him well, as he's keeping up with the other power players and having his best first half yet. Snorp and Bantoni are also having great seasons, with Bantoni in particular keeping his OBP up. Good to see! Dugless continues to do well in terms of hitting, but awfully in terms of health. The Red Sox do have him pitching again so that could explain some of the extra missed games, but he continues to struggle to put up the same raw count numbers as his comrades simply due to the constant bevy of injuries he sustains. Everyone else is skirting mediocrity or struggling to even keep their playing time up, but I HAVE to point out one important decline here - Replica. Coming off an absolute monster of a season, Replica has been playing way, way below that level. While she's pulled back up above the Mendoza line and is matching her compatriots in terms of power, that OBP is really, really unimpressive, and this is by far her worst season yet. Combined with injuries, 2035 is shaping up to be a lost year for her. I'd also like to again point out Tim McCracken, who is at the very end of his contract, and struggling to even make starts. Dude's OPS+ is 56. That's not what you want to do in your contract year. 2035 Pitching Stats  Ugh. Not that much better. Vegeta, at least, is doing Vegeta things. His K/9 is still above 10, his ERA hovering around a fantastic 3.00, and everything else indicating he's having another great season. But is it good enough to win a Cy Young? At this rate probably not. But he loves falling just short with late season surges. That walk rate is creeping up a bit though. Charlie Brown took a huge step back this season, going from a 2.98 ERA to a 4.47. That was kind of inevitable as his peripherals suggested great luck, and they're kind of telling the opposite this season - I expect a stronger second half given his FIP and other great peripherals. I have faith. Mahogany and Plusse though... look a bit gassed. Both started the season back as SP's - Mahogany remains one, but Plusse is back to relieving. They might want to put him back to SP again because he had a 4.22 ERA as a starter and a 6+ ERA as a reliever, but what do I know. Either way they both look pretty bad so far - and nothing suggests they'll necessarily improve. Let's just hope. Dugless is actually doing decently, and better than the two above (and even charlie brown, you could argue) with the Red Sox! Will he stay healthy enough to give us some confidence in his two-way abilities? O'Doyle is the setup guy in DC and furious about it, wanting to be a starter. He's not making a great case for it, but he's not doing that badly either. Maybe he'll earn that spot if some other players stumble or get injured. Not exactly an inspiring first half. Get it together goons - stay healthy and redeem thyselves in the second half! We've seen comebacks happen. I'm looking at you in particular, Replica!      Bob Glass is probably just angry that he's playing like poo poo this season. Also that the Mets look poised to lose the NL East for the first time in a decade - to the Phillies.   It wouldn't be a goon season without Sir Plusse whining about wanting out of whatever team he's on.  I'm so tired of posting these, Replica! That's 6 injuries in '35 and 8 in '34.   I'd be frustrated too. At least she does her fight BEFORE the playoffs (if only just), thus avoiding missing the postseason. If Chicago even makes it.   Dugless injures himself 2 days before the season ends  .But mercifully, it does end. And way, way fewer injuries than the first half. One additional small respite - all our goons eventually found teams! Goku not only settled into the minors but eventually joined Plusse and Malysz on the Braves roster! Bitchface played in AAA with Colorado, and Splodey played AAA with the Angels. Tubbs is demolishing AAA but didn't quite get promoted in SD. Let's see if any goons can redeem this godawful season with a ring.  Goon Ring Possibilities: BOS - Dugless, Saito BAL - Manjack CLE - Tukhachevsky (did not appear in MLB) OAK - Mahogany (not on playoff roster, but did appear) PHI - Glasscock, Kalan NYM - Glass, Panda (did not appear) LAD - Chestnut, Dowd (both did not appear) Okay a decent haul - 5/12 teams, though only 4 have goons actually on the roster. Unfortunately, the Mets and Phillies play each other early, which will knock out at least some goons:    Boston dispatches of the Orioles quickly, with Dugless carrying his weight. A dinger and 3 RBI in 7 AB? Yes please! Manjack is on the roster but does not appear in the playoffs. No idea why Saito doesn't make an appearance. Maybe next round. Mahogany doesn't appear in the very brief A's defeat of Cleveland, 8-5 and 12-5.    The Phillies-Mets series is a good one, featuring 3 active goons. Glasscock doesn't make an appearance but Glass and Kalan do. Both Glass and Kalan are vets desperately in search of their first championships. Bob Glass actually leads all goons with a whopping 183 PA's in the postseason, with Kalan among the top goons as well with 129, with no ring to either one's name. That's 42 postseason games Glass has appeared in - that's more than some goons' entire careers. Fun postseason fact though - the goon postseason dinger leader is actually Tim McCracken, with 12. Glass does his best and brings the power - dingering twice and helping lead the Mets to a victory in game 1. But despite Kalan's anemic play, the Phillies rally to take two games back, cursing Rooster to once again reach the playoffs only to fall.  drat! First, the good news:    Despite Dugless absolutely bricking it offensively, he actually makes a postseason start in this series. And it goes pretty well - he pitches 5 innings with 2 earned runs, and is backed up by solid defense by his boy Saito, and Dugless is the eventual player of the game. But the Red Sox lose - falling 2 - 0 to the Twins only to rally back with 3 wins, one of which included a beautiful solo homer by Saito as he'd collect six RBI to keep Boston alive.   A 4 and a half hour game, but one for the ages and all goonkind. A true team effort by Saito and Dugless both carry them into the most cursed of ALCS - Red Sox v Yankees.  Unfortunately for Kalan though, his tremendous play cannot save his Phillies from defeat at the hands of the Giants. Disappointing. A Giants-Dodgers NLCS is something to dream of though, and diametrically as blessed as Yankees-Red Sox is cursed. But an equal amount of violence and vitriol between the two. With the loss of the Phillies, only Boston remains with goons on hand.  Never mind what I said. Dodgers-Boston World Series? Ugh. At least there's goons in it.  For whatever reason, Dugless does not pitch against the Yankees. But boy does he hit - 3 home runs, 4 RBI, and a .333 average to go alongside Saito's solid play with 3 RBI's and a decent number of hits. Dugless' really inspired in game 6, finishing off the Yankees with a 3 hit, 2 HR, 2 RBI, and one walk game. The goons are EARNING their chance at a ring this time around. All they have to do now is dispatch the dastardly Dodgers.  gently caress.  You can't blame Saito for this one. Dude saw his chance at a ring - maybe one of his last, and went for it, hitting two home runs in game 1 only to see his team implode and fall 11-5. The Dodgers would win two of the games 8-1 and 10-0, completely outclassing Boston. Dugless didn't pitch nor hit particularly well, though the blame can hardly be placed on him in what was a pretty general collapse. Our goons end another season championship-less. We were truly spoiled in the early years, and need to appreciate the rare feat of victory that so few goons have enjoyed. I was excited for both Dugless and Saito, as they've labored long and hard for the chance at a championship. They'll have to wait at least one more year.   Here's a little shocker though - for the first time in his entire career, at age 33, Douglas Dugless signed an extension. He takes a pay cut, in that he was making a little under twice that each season before, but it looks like he and Saito will have another run at it with the Red Sox next year. They got all the way to the WS this time, so I think they are in a good position to try again. Saito, notably, does only have one more year currently with Boston.   Look at that! For all her struggles, Replica's fielding did not falter this season! She wins our only Golden Glove!  At least you weren't in second place this time Vegeta! 4th place this time. Dugless and Kalan make very distant appearances in the MVP awards, but that's all. Replica wins the sole goon award this season. Is this the sign of our collective decline? Generation 1 may be fading.   Free agents file, and it doesn't look like any other goons sign any big extensions or contracts just yet. Dugless is the only one so far with the two-year extension with Boston. Blank and Vegeta are notably on the final year of their big contracts - I don't think Reggie will get another $160 million, but Vegeta looks set for another good pay day as he has not slowed down hardly at all. Saito and Snorp will also be up for FA next season. This season though, we have quite a few goons entering free agency, though mostly of more middling talent. Clips, Crime, Mahogany, Goku, McCracken, Panda, Alface, and Plusse will also seek new contracts. We'll see if any sign before the year ends. Also note that Replica is now being paid nearly $40 million a year!    Malysz gets traded during Winter meetings, and is now a Padre.   Plusse looks fine as hell in his new Expos uniform, as he signs a far less lucrative deal to be a reliever? (contract says starter, but position says RP...) with their organization. It's quite the pay cut from last year's 5.8 million, but he can't complain.  The Hall of Fame vote is once again not particularly interesting - Craig Kimbrel is on the cusp of entering the hall, and looks to be a lock. Newcomer Gerrit Cole is also almost certain to get in, given that he's but 2.8% away on his first ballot. Some drama may surround Justin Verlander, who has one more year to gain 7%. It's a longshot, but definitely doable. Tigers (beisbolcats?) fans could certainly use the morale boost. Lastly before our stats - we must say goodbye to a loyal and storied goon:      Carl Tubbs! A bit surprising but hardly shocking, Mr. Tubbs decided to retire after spending all of 2035 in the minors. Tubbs actually had a pretty decent career, and can hang his hat high knowing he led the league in triples thrice, hits once, and ends with 1000 major league career hits! He was, admittedly, never a particularly good hitter, but had one fantastic season with the Giants in 2028. He has been made into a coach, as is tradition.2035 Goon Batting Stats  The second half appears to have been much kinder to goons! Kalan truly had a career year, and I'm loving it. This was his best yet in terms of WAR, and he also led the league in steals with 47. Age is NOT slowing him down as he still has 87 speed and 100+ basestealing skill, so dude is frightening on the base paths at 33. He even pulled a bit of power out from somewhere - his 21 homeruns are his second best ever! He admittedly hit slightly better in 2031 but his defense and baserunning have gotten a bit stronger, balancing out to a better season. Great work Kalan! The other goon who had a career year was Dugless, though it comes with the caveat that he had slightly reduced appearances, showing up in only 121/162 games. Part of that was due to pitching, part to injury, but so it goes. Regardless, he was second among goons in dingers and walks, with only Bantoni eclipsing him in either metric. COmbine that with his fantastic contact, Dugless showed skill at every aspect of hitting, striking out the least of any goon with comparable play time by quite a bit. That extension was earned! Bantoni again deserves props for being our most consistent power goon. Dude has hit 35+ home runs every single season, dipping below 40 for the first time in 4 years. Despite this, he continues to lead goons in RBI and walks, keeping his value up and showing immense value behind the plate. The Blue Jays keep ruining his WAR by refusing to let him full time DH, but he's a legit hitter who hasn't slipped up yet. And he stays goddamn healthy. Snorp and Saito had silently above average seasons as well, with Snorp in particular not showing any signs of slowing down. He benefits a bit from having good hitters in front of him, and strikes out WAY too much. Saito's numbers are reassuring mostly because he was god awful last year and looked on track to start petering out, but this season was a welcome return to form, improving on virtually every metric. Jessie Crime gets a small shoutout for leading the goons in doubles! She's a speed machine and I'm glad she's getting to start nearly every day  .Replica... finished the season at exactly 100 OPS+. I know she wasn't THAT far down at the midpoint but this is still a good recovery. She did still show her power - 30 dingers is impressive, but that OBP is terrible as her average plummeted and walk rate was down a bit too. A 2.9 WAR is still a good season (and better than most goons!) but coming off a 9 WAR season it just feels kinda disappointing. This was statistically her worst season. I almost forgot about Reggie Blank! Dude was so average this year he was kind of forgettable - but honestly, that was an improvement given last year's performance. He's developed something of a streakiness to him - he slumped in '28, 31-2, and 34, with good seasons in between them. His power is falling off noticably, but that average is staying up, so let's hope he's able to keep that balance and stay competitive. This is his contract year coming up, and I'd hate to see him slump right as he could get one last big payday... This season is tough, but I think Kalan wins my 2035 goon batting award. I hate to take it from Bantoni/Dugless, but Kalan had the defense and playing time to back up his surge in power and contact. Good work my dude! 2035 Goon Pitching Stats  Vegeta didn't finish as hot as hoped, but still put up great numbers in 2035. As long as that K rate remains solid, as does velocity (still 99-101 at age 32!) I think he'll be fine. He led the majors in WHIP, which is a really good sign given how much he struggled with walks early in his career! I'd like to note that he's also had 200 K's in 6 of the last 7 seasons, with the one season being 198. He's still, hands down, the best goon pitcher. Charlie Brown pitched a LOT this season, which I love to see. His ERA leaves something to be desired but was hardly a disaster, and I think his FIP and WAR pick up the fact that he's a legit starter. He suffers a lot from Miami being an awful team offensively and defensively, and I wonder if his stats would be a teensy bit better with a better supporting cast. Regardless, Charlie remains one of the goon success stories, and his arc from marginal AAAA reliever to starter is something else! That opposing average of .261 is kind of worrying though. Rich Mahogany struggled this season, quite frankly. That ERA is too high and peripherals suggest it wasn't just bad luck. He walks way too many guys and gives up a few too many dingers - an opposing average of .274 on top of all that has me deeply concerned. Sir Plusse may be "hot" but I would have hate to have seen his stats before that hot streak. He was bounced around as a starter and a reliever this season - the vast majority (80) of his IP came as a reliever, which means he had 10 starts but only ~13 IP as a starter - they alternated between long relief and regular setup guy through the season. Montreal promises he'll start next year... we'll see. Dugless was pretty bad but hardly disastrous on the mound this season. The Red Sox kept him on a short leash, usually going only 3-4 innings in each "start," and I have no idea if they'll do it again. They probably shouldn't. O'Doyle's play time here was a bit of a surprise! He had 8, 16, and .2 IP over the last 3 seasons, but surged to 67 this time around. That's great news, especially combined with a solid 4.16 ERA. I hope this is a sign of settling in as a big league reliever in Texas! That K/9 too is pretty sexy, though not that BB/9. Manjack also had a pretty impressive strikeout rate, but over a much smaller sample. I can't quite tell what his future is - right now Minnesota has him in their starting lineup, but he'll probably be sent back to the bullpen next year. Let's hope he can pull an O'Doyle and get a chance to prove himself - or even sneak into that rotation ala Charlie Brown. Another season, another Vegeta dominance. Charlie wasn't quite good enough to make a case for himself this time. Vegeta is my 2035 Goon Pitching Award choice. 2035 Fielding Stats  Here's the fielding stats, for those curious. As I said last time, I don't think I am well versed enough to decide who is doing well/poorly. 2035 was kind of a disappointing year, as we saw both declines and resurgences. Replica salvaged a bad season into a mediocre one, while Kalan, and Saito, some of our oldest boys, had resurgences. I hope '35 isn't the foreshadowing of the goons' collective demise - I know SOME have more in the tank, but it is coming. The updates will get shorter and faster as goons start to fade away, sandlot style, and we will begin the conversation about forming our new generation of goons... JosefStalinator fucked around with this message at 02:26 on Mar 8, 2023 |
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Mar 8, 2023 02:13
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Do you have Reggie's career MLB totals?
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Mar 8, 2023 02:28
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Red posted:Do you have Reggie's career MLB totals? I posses all knowledge of what is and what was: 
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Mar 8, 2023 02:31
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JosefStalinator posted:I posses all knowledge of what is and what was: I think he can be genuinely useful at the MLB level for another ~5 years, but man, injuries really did take away some big chunks of his career. He's going to have to leave the Rays to get anywhere close to another ring, though.
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Mar 8, 2023 02:36
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JosefStalinator posted:
The power of Senzu Beans
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Mar 8, 2023 03:22
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Sincere Providence is an 80 grade name tool. I can’t imagine there is going to be a team stupid enough to give McCracken money this off-season, he should’ve been released and bought out years ago.
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Mar 8, 2023 03:29
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JosefStalinator posted:
 Intelligence: 12. Goku's personality ratings as of generation:  Intelligence: 22. Verdict: No, Plusse is not as dumb as Goku. Plusse is dumber than Goku. I'm pretty sure Plusse is the dumbest out of all the goons, if not the dumbest player in the entire league.
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Mar 8, 2023 03:33
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JosefStalinator posted:Lastly before our stats - we must say goodbye to a loyal and storied goon: Good night you trooper. He did his best being a center fielder who should have been a left or right fielder. Everything was down hill after he left San Fran and I don't really think it was his fault, he just wasn't getting any games. Hopefully he becomes a lovable coach telling young talent to hustle more and not do drugs.
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Mar 8, 2023 04:19
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Love how Manjack sits in AAA for the LA Dodgers for years, and then gets traded when injured right before they go on to win the Pennant. Oh well, maybe he'll actually get some MLB play time with Minnesota!
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Mar 8, 2023 04:20
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It's heartening to see Kalan having a renaissance year! He really has been remarkably consistent; has he had any injuries in his career?
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Mar 8, 2023 04:57
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with the white sox being stuck in the doldrums, maybe Cash will end up as their manager
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Mar 8, 2023 05:04
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So close, yet so far, Douglas. He should take up yoga to keep that body in good condition.
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Mar 8, 2023 06:17
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Red posted:I think he can be genuinely useful at the MLB level for another ~5 years, but man, injuries really did take away some big chunks of his career. Yeah... I hope he has a good year next year and gets signed somewhere good for at least 2-3 years so he can go on a quest for another late career ring. But he has one already so  Gerblederp posted:Sincere Providence is an 80 grade name tool. McCracken is currently seeking a minor league contract with an option if promoted, so it's not looking great, but there's a small hope. CptWedgie posted:Plusse's personality ratings as of generation:  Still dumb as a brick! Fat and Useless posted:Good night you trooper. He did his best being a center fielder who should have been a left or right fielder. Everything was down hill after he left San Fran and I don't really think it was his fault, he just wasn't getting any games. Hopefully he becomes a lovable coach telling young talent to hustle more and not do drugs. I really think if Mexico had given him a chance he could have squeezed out another decent season or two. Mexico City's team loving sucks and the fact they wouldn't even give him playing time is sad. PotatoManJack posted:Love how Manjack sits in AAA for the LA Dodgers for years, and then gets traded when injured right before they go on to win the Pennant. Oh well, maybe he'll actually get some MLB play time with Minnesota! He's on the right track! Minnesota won 100 games last season sooooo there's a good chance they're competitive this year. ajkalan posted:It's heartening to see Kalan having a renaissance year! He really has been remarkably consistent; has he had any injuries in his career?  He's missed 10 days over 10+ seasons. He's almost missed as much time from his suspension - and probably more significantly since it was the playoffs. He's looking like one of the few goons, along with Vegeta, who might end up playing their whole career on a single team. Now if only the Phillies would win him a drat championship! He's been with them through .600 seasons and .400ish seasons. Smdh. IcePhoenix posted:with the white sox being stuck in the doldrums, maybe Cash will end up as their manager He's current unemployed but he's the 3rd or 4th highest rated manager on the market, so I am confident he'll find a team eventually.
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Mar 8, 2023 06:21
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Even if this is the beginning of the end for my boy Kazuki, the run with the Red Sox is a movie script. Putting the team on your back like that is a hell of a task, and he basically came as a mostly-gassed TTO 3B guy from the god-awful reds to put Boston within spitting distance of a championship. Not bad for the NEET from Sapporo. If he can get a late-career resurgance by working with the Red Sox, all the better.
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Mar 8, 2023 06:23
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*looks at watch* Time for another $3M minor league contract!
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Mar 8, 2023 06:27
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Was poking around the records a bit, since we've been simming long enough that I'm sure some weirdness has happened. Some of the records begin in 2022, the year we started simming. There've been 10 no hitters and 2 perfect games in that time. And if I'm reading that right, Mr. Jagger Haynes threw his perfect game in the World Series in San Diego's second win Bantoni is one of only 17 players to hit 50 HR's since 2022. Vegeta is one of 13 to get 15+ K's in that time. I'd like to note that the season that Jagger Haynes threw a perfect game in the World Series, he also had the (pitching) triple crown. It was his second triple crown.  Wowza! Not many season records have changed, which isn't surprising. Austin Hendrick broke the record in 2031 for the most strikeouts with 241. Joey Gallo is the career strikeout leader with 3001, lol.
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Mar 8, 2023 06:39
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Haynes hasnt pitched a single inning in the majors or minors yet since his drafting in 2020 due to injury. Sure would be interesting if he suddenly morphs into neo Chris sale.
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Mar 8, 2023 07:09
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Goddamn Snorp is still chugging right along. 26 HR en route to an above-but-not-way-above average OPS+, 12 SB, and 2.0 WAR in his age 32 year. Some of our guys are obvious HoF types, but he's gotta be on the good side of the bubble, right? What's his career stats looking like at this point? He's been a hell of a bargain for Texas. Oh also speaking of the HoF, I think we may need to storm Cooperstown next year if Verlander doesn't get in. His stats up until the sim started should have made him a first ballot choice, I have no idea how he's made it NINE years. Greinke, too. And my goddamn Johan Santana! 
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Mar 8, 2023 07:57
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Alright Bantoni need to get back over 40+ homeruns this season, do some push ups.
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Mar 8, 2023 17:51
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rickiep00h posted:Goddamn Snorp is still chugging right along. 26 HR en route to an above-but-not-way-above average OPS+, 12 SB, and 2.0 WAR in his age 32 year. Some of our guys are obvious HoF types, but he's gotta be on the good side of the bubble, right? What's his career stats looking like at this point? He's been a hell of a bargain for Texas. Vegeta is the best pitcher, and he seems to be on a Mike mussina career trajectory. Good but very borderline HoF candidate. SNK Replica is probably the best position player, and it's hard to say she's on target for the HoF either, absent ten more years of 5+ WAR performance.
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Mar 9, 2023 02:16
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rickiep00h posted:Goddamn Snorp is still chugging right along. 26 HR en route to an above-but-not-way-above average OPS+, 12 SB, and 2.0 WAR in his age 32 year. Some of our guys are obvious HoF types, but he's gotta be on the good side of the bubble, right? What's his career stats looking like at this point? He's been a hell of a bargain for Texas. Here's Snorp's lifetime stats:  He's a bit streaky too, but a lifetime OPS+ of 124 shows that hes consistently above average at least. Here's a secret bonus just for you - his EXPANDED batting stats. I should probably show these more, but the more stat oriented goons can explain them better:  As for Verlander - the game seems to rank him JUST on the edge or a tick above an average HoFer:  If you want an explanation for these, baseball reference has one: https://www.baseball-reference.com/about/leader_glossary.shtml#black_ink I'm guessing since the game can't measure all the extra stuff like roids and whatnot, it just goes purely based one some combination of these stats. Barry's, for reference:   Pander posted:Hate to break it to you but none of the goons really seem to meet HoF level. Even where the talent is there, injuries seem likely to hold em back. I agree - remember that last time we did this with about 30ish goons, only one got in - and it was a reliver, at that, strangely enough! If Vegeta retired right now, these would be his numbers:  Not bad, but he needs to stay good for a while longer to get close to HoF status.
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Mar 9, 2023 05:17
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Ugh I wish Snorp could have stayed at 2B. Ah well.
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Mar 9, 2023 05:24
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I will be stunned if Clips gets signed by anyone Has he had a season where he's contributed positive WAR?
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Mar 9, 2023 05:33
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Looks like Storg is about to retire.
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Mar 9, 2023 05:39
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The Mattybee posted:I will be stunned if Clips gets signed by anyone  He has! He's not terrible but he is accepting minor league contracts which, uh, implies that he's kinda desperate. I hope he gets another chance, but Arizona really did try. habeasdorkus posted:Looks like Storg is about to retire.   Storg did his best . I was disappointed when he didn't pan out, honestly, he seemed fun. He's put up with the minors for a long time though so he may wanna just keep mashing down there for a while longer!
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Mar 9, 2023 05:51
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 A message from Commissioner Manfred  Goons, You continue to impress the owners with every wise decision you make - in line with your strong recommendation, I submitted a proposal to the owners to accept the conditions of the terrorists. As such, Detroit once again has a baseball team! But of course, in your wisdom, you recommended a an important change. The Tigers are, technically, no more. More accurately, they are reborn, like a large orange bird - but a cat.   (Anyone better at photoshop please feel free to edit the logo to remove the white background). But as always, there are always complications. While the beisbolcats were met with great elation by many, especially hipsters and internet types, not all traditionalists saw eye to eye with the change. Claiming that we did not fully meet their terms, the Michigander People's Front did not uphold their end of the deal. Shortly after the Beisbolcats returned to Detroit, the MPF officially disbanded, announcing their dissolution on a note attached to a body found dumped in Toldeo, Ohio.   We will begin the search for a new owner, and tragically mourn his loss. Fearing for their lives, the Ilitch family have wisely chosen to sell the team and cede all future claims to ownership. Thank you again goons for your wisdom. Should you ever have a proposal for the league - be it further expansions/relocations. financial recommendations, or rules changes, I promise you will at least be heard. Rob Manfred
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Mar 9, 2023 21:47
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A last, there is balance in the Force.
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Mar 9, 2023 22:25
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Antoni Kemping buy the Beisbolcats
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Mar 9, 2023 23:32
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GODDAMMIT ROOSTER! Another wasted year! Why!
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Mar 10, 2023 00:25
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Popete posted:Antoni Kemping buy the Beisbolcats Can't wait for Bantoni to be comissioner, while Antoni owns the Beisbolcats.
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Mar 10, 2023 00:50
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JosefStalinator posted:(Anyone better at photoshop please feel free to edit the logo to remove the white background). On it, chief.  Quick and dirty job. I can probably fiddle with it more if you don't want the white in the middle to be there, but I think it looks better this way.
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Mar 10, 2023 00:53
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Monathin posted:On it, chief. Thank you! I'll get it in the game later. Unfortunately, graphic design is my passion and I posses no such skills. EDIT: I think it looks great as is, and if you ever wanna tweak it to your preferences just post it whenever you feel like. Double Edit: 
JosefStalinator fucked around with this message at 01:05 on Mar 10, 2023 |
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Mar 10, 2023 00:59
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| # ? May 7, 2024 20:37 |
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2036 MLB Season A great historical wrong has been righted - Christopher Ilitch's crime of stealing Detroit's baseball team has been reversed. From now on Detroit will have its baseball team back, though under a slightly different name: (Credit to Monathin!) The Detroit/Dertroit Beisbolcats will begin a new era, one without any involvement by the Ilitch's, freeing the franchise for the first time since 1992. Christopher Ilitch is also free of his earthly shackles, and faces divine punishment for his sins. In terms of our goons though, last year was again a bit disappointing. Not so much for Dugless or Saito, who both had great seasons and made it to the World Series! But our studs of Blank and Replica had big down years, and even Bantoni didn't thrive like usual. Our pitchers mostly took a step back too. Oh well - new year, new opportunities!  And new opportunities do indeed await our free agent goons! Our last crop of arb eligible guys and gals are finally hitting free agency, alongside a few veterans. Goku has struggled, but still has seen regular playing time. Alface is also a pretty weak hitter, but being a decent defensive catcher has kept him in the game. I suspect Mahogany, Crime, and Clips will find new homes, but hopefully not as minor leagues. Mr. Panda will continue to flex his mysterious ability to sign major league contracts and yet never actually play. McCracken though... in some ways, he was lucky. He signed a big 3-year deal with Detroit right before it moved to Indy, and then absolutely poo poo the bed, putting up -.6, .4, -.9 WAR over three seasons. No renaissance ever came. I worry for his future. For the first time in 5 years, Dugless is NOT a FA this offseason. It feels weird. I also discovered a new thing to watch by accident - I can see which goons are on the trading block!  One name stands out here - Reggie Blank may get dealt by Tampa this season. He's definitely the most attractive of the bunch, with maybe Charlie Brown attracting interest from teams with struggling rotations. Blank is on the last year of his huge contract, so it would be interesting to see if a team grabs him - and gives him a chance to make something of his contract year.    Okay, I'm genuinely starting to think Panda has Epstein's black book or some poo poo. A guy with 14 innings pitched, ever, in the majors, now has a guaranteed $3 million per year over two years. What the gently caress. Even OOTP's news articles are confused by this.   Rich Mahogany is also looking good in his new Yankees uniform. Note that he has far better ratings than Panda and pitched 125 innings last year, but will be making about a third of Panda's salary.   Crime signs a minor league deal with Boston. She did pretty poorly last year but I think has the potential to be a contributor with some luck. At the start of Spring, every goon is on the MLB Spring Training roster except... Mr. Panda. HOW!?  Dugless suffers the only injury of Spring, and it's minor, thankfully.   Our beautiful boy Clips signs a deal at the last second with Arizona - and its a major league deal too!   Come opening day, MOST goons are on the major league roster. Mr. Panda through his mysterious powers is getting paid better than half the goons to play AA, while Chestnut, Dowd, Storg, Crime, and Tukachevsky eagerly await promotion at AAA. Alface, Goku, and McCracken are still homeless .  Kalan starts off hot, immediately winning the NL player of the week award!  Dugless gets minorly hurt AGAIN. We'll see if Boston's quest to get Saito and Dugless a ring does better with Crime tagging along.   Rooster has had a frustrating few seasons, between injuries and underperformances. This season is getting off to a much better start, as he already has 15 dingers in April and May.   But few can compete with Bantoni, who is by far our best pure power hitting goon. He's the first goon to 300 home runs - passing up Snorp and Saito despite playing some 300-400 fewer games than them. He's also the second most walked goon, after only Dugless.   The White Sox wisely sign Vegeta to a four year, $112 million extension. This locks down Vegeta until he is 36, and given that he's shown few signs of slowing down, may still yet open up an opportunity for more late career contracts. I think with this signing Vegeta stands to be the highest paid goon ever in terms of guaranteed contract money, but Replica, Glass, and others may still pass him up when they reach their mid 30's.   Oh Clips! Glad to see goons are remaining raging morons into their old age.  Replica does as she does, and gets minorly hurt. At least she's stayed healthy so far.   Charlie!!! Our favorite underdog has a 3 hit, 2 walk shutout! Looks like 2036 isn't starting as well as he'd like, but maybe this is a good sign of things to come.   Uh, hello Splodey Face, where the hell did you come from? Splodey has played a total of 14 major league games since 2030, but is back up in the majors after continuing to crush it in AAA.   I don't want to say Snorp is underrated, because we've given him lots of attention over the years. But he's faded to the background in part because he's not as flashy as the other goons, and rarely leads in any category. Yet, Snorp's never really had a bad year, unlike some of our best players, and credit should be given to him for his consistency.    Replica is coming back online, humiliated by Bantoni's rapid acquisition of 300 dingers. She's at 24 nearly halfway through the season - I pray for another Bantoni-Replica home run race.  Imagine wrestling a Panda. I'm sure Panda will mysteriously escape all repurcussions.  Did Dugless GAIN weight?  Before we do the All-Star noms, I'd like to note the above. Karmic balance has been restored to baseball, and the Beisbolcats are now atop the division. You might also notice Mexico City having a run at it - their first competitive season since they were created 10 seasons ago!      A great haul! Five goons is up from last year too! Vegeta just casually collects his NINTH AS nod in a row. Dugless loves even years, as he's gotten it in '30, '32, '34, and now '36. Replica has her sixth (suck it Bantoni!), Kalan his fifth, and Glass his third.  None of our goons compete in the HR derby, but the AI-generated names are becoming even more fabulous. In addition to our boy Providence, I really love Reyden Magleby.  This All-Star game does involve goons heavily - but not always for good reasons. Vegeta gives up 2 runs in the first inning, but the AL rallies to a victory behind Dugless' dinger and Replica's double. Kalan and Glass both strike out twice. 2036 All-Star Batting Stats  First, you'll notice that Goku managed to sign a minor league deal with Baltimore, and Alface with the Dodgers. This looks like an overall solid first half for the goons - with some surprise resurgences! Kalan, our most consistent goon by far, is having a career year. He's batting a stupidly high .335 AND 18 dingers - his previous season high was 26, putting him well on track to surpass and shatter his own personal record. He's doing this all with a paltry 60 K's and a beautiful .400 OBP. Keep this up and the Phillies may want to consider an early extension. Glass is the other comeback kid this season, tying Replica for the most home runs and sneaking up on Kalan and Replica in WAR. He's never been a guy to hit for average, so don't worry about that .242 - he's a power guy through and through, and it's good to see what he can do when healthy. Snorp, Bantoni, and Replica are all having solid seasons as well. Snorp is just an RBI machine, averaging 111 per year in his entire career. Replica looks to be pulling out of last year's slump, with her power and average returning, if not to full form. And Bantoni is shamefully one home run behind Replica... get going my dude! On the negative side, I'm starting to truly worry about Reggie Blank. There's nothing positive about his stats and this is his third slumping year in a row. His ratings remain solid and I think he can do better than this, but with free agency looming, I worry what kind of mediocre deal he's going to end up with. Saito is hardly collapsing like Blank but he's also facing free agency, and this anemic offense is not the way to do it. Last year was so good too!  Unfortunate news for Adam Malysz, who will miss some time from a fractured hand. He's once again having a mediocre season. 2036 All-Star Pitching Stats  What... on earth!? Is that someone above Vegeta in IP!? Vegeta, despite apparently being outpitched stamina-wise by Mr. Brown, is again having a great year. What's there to say? Dude never gets hurt, somehow keeps his velocity up, and is just an all around stud. I think he has a shot at the Hall of this keeps up MAYBE another 3-4 seasons, with more time needed if he slows down a bit. Charlie Brown is HOT this year. He started off slow but that shutout awakened something within him. I worry how sustainable it is with that FIP and mediocre K, HR, and BB rates, but I'd love to see him kick butt an earn an extension from the Marlins. He still has next year too. Plusse is having a pretty poo poo year, with a 5.68 ERA and negative WAR. This will be his worst season yet if he can't pull op over the coming second half. As a reliever, Mahogany is having the best year of all pitching goons so far. It may help that the Yankees are using him more as a low leverage/emergency SP type, but he'll take it. Patrick O'Doyle and Manjack continue to struggle as reliever and starter respectively. Patrick is still probably playing decent enough to stay in the majors, but Manjack is bouncing between AAA and MLB as he struggles to get quality starts. Dugless' stats look worse than they should with that AWFUL ERA, but his low FIP and lack of dingers suggest he may marginally improve if they keep sending him out.   Oof. Welp, soon as I start simming again, Manjack gets demolished by injuries, this time with some potentially scary nerve problems in his arm and hand. Yikes.  I also poked in on the Beisbolcats, to see if they have a new owner, and they do! I have no idea who Josh Sullivan is, but he's already a better owner than Ilitch. He's generous with his cash and takes a more hands off stance - and already the team is doing better than any of its three years in Indianapolis (33-35):  Good work goons!   And hey, look who is back! McCracken signs with Detroit and immediately gets promoted back to the MLB . He's home, friends.  Alface is doing his best to get promoted to the Dodgers - I don't know if it'll work, but a good showing will at least keep him alive another season.   Glass continues to have a great year - all his numbers are up as he finishes the season with a solid 37 dingers and .806 OPS. Combined with his great defense, he looks to be out of his '35 slump!   The "be Dugless and don't get injured" challenge fails once again, this time completely loving up his thumb in late August. This is especially bad because it means he'll miss the first series or two of the playoffs .  Snorp, who vies with Kalan/Vegeta for most consistent player, reaches 300 dingers, second only to Bantoni. His second half has been a bit cooler than the first, but he continues to provide great value for Texas at first base.   Does that look like the face of a violent man? Dincht is a saint.   Oh come the gently caress on. Now Saito is going to miss the entire playoffs, and Dugless most of it. Argh!   Plusse too!? What a dreadful second half, just injuries - very little positive! At least the Expos are bad and won't be missing the playoffs.  Woah! Look at these standings!  Love it when 4/5 teams in the AL East makes it into the playoffs! And the one that doesn't is Bantoni's Blue Jays But look at the AL Central! The Mexico City Quetzalcoatls not only have their first winning season, their first season finishing above fourth... but they actually won the division and are going to the playoffs!  Also, look at these injuries to finish the season, ick:  Goon Ring Opportunities: BAL - Goku (did play, but not on MLB roster) BOS - Crime, Dugless, Saito (ALL INJURED, Crime's back in 2 days, Dugless in 2 weeks) NYY - Mahogany TBR - Blank MEX - Dincht (did play, not on MLB roster) TEX - Snorp, O'Doyle NYM - Glass STL - None CHC - Panda (did not appear) ATL - McDichel (did appear, not on MLB roster) MIL - None LAD - Face, Krillin, Alface (Krillin/Alface did not appear). Wow. That might be our best goon playoffs yet. EVERY AL team has/had a goon on it this season, meaning we are guaranteed a goon ring if the AL wins the WS. 9/12 is great odds. Let's go goons! Well... except for the fact that the team with the most goons has ALL THREE injured.    Boston stays alive against the Yankees, and Mahogany doesn't do much in his few appearances. If Boston goes all the way, MAYBE Dugless joins. But for now, no goons will be playing.  Reggie Blank had kind of a poo poo season, his last in Tampa most likely, but he did his best to try and leave a hero. He did his damnedest, dingering and providing 3 RBI in 2 games to represent 3/11 of all RBI for TB, but it's not enough. Dincht may yet get his championship ring, even if he's not involved.  Panda's hopes of at least being in the org of a winning team are dashed. So are McDichael's, as the braves are narrowly defeated by the Dodgers.   drat. The 3-ring potential of Boston falls, while Goku's hopes rise. Jessie Crime can say she saw a playoff appearance, and got a hit in her one try. Neither Dugless nor Saito will be appearing this postseason.  Snorp would love a second ring, though his play doesn't really show it. Not that the Rangers needed it, sweeping the underdog Mexico City and Dincht's dreams. O'Doyle did not appear, but he may in the future.   Glass has been in the playoffs more than any goon, by a LOT. He WANTS that goddamn ring. He plays well if not spectacularly, with a dinger and 3 RBI, only to sadly once again go home without a championship to his name. That's his eighth postseason trip.  The NL is now purged of goons - our hopes lie with either O'Doyle and Snorp on the Rangers, or inactive Goku on Baltimore.  Welp.   A dismal performance by both our goons, as Baltimore sweeps Texas. This is actually also Snorp's eighth trip to the playoffs - but he won it with Texas in '29. Will Goku secure our cheapest ring yet? Here's hopin'.  Goons are cursed. For real. Doubly so that it's the Dodgers  . The season ends on one consolation - Replica was September's player of the month .Awards time!   Another season, another Replica Golden Glove. I think every other goon is too old and decrepit now.    Name a better rivalry than Bantoni and Replica. I'll wait.  And don't forget our boy Bob Glass, the playoff hopeful and one of the few goons still competently playing the infield. Vegeta is among the best K/9 guys currently active! And that's a sick rear end name at the top. Real person too. However, for the first time in many years, Vegeta receives not a single vote for the Cy Young award . Replica is in the conversation for AL MVP, with Bantoni way beneath her. Glass is similarly distant in the NL voting. A+ name guy Sincere Providence wins it. Tempted to make him an honorary goon for name alone. It's free agent time! But the offseason begins with bad news:    Jack Glasscock. Jack had a number of opportunities to prove himself, but never did quite get it together. Still, a 10 year career, even if mostly spent in the minors, is an accomplishment!  WOW. That's a LOT of free agents. 13 of our 31 active goons are free agents this offseason. That's pretty insane. I have a feeling we are about to get a LOT of retirements - or might at the end of next year. There's no way EVERYONE is getting a new team. Ugh. Of those who remain employed, Vegeta is now our highest paid goon in terms of yearly salary.  That's because Replica rejected the White Sox's qualifying offer, and elected to become a free agent. Replica, Saito, Snorp, and Reggie will all almost certainly get some big new contracts - though Reggie's recent performances have me worried. He's still demanding a 6 year, $12 million per contract so, good for him. Replica is demanding a whopping 7 year, $36 million per.    That didn't take long! SNK Replica signs a big deal with the Mets, though not quite as big as she might have been hoping. She will be there at least two years, with an opt-out clause half way through, as well as a player option the last year. She'll join Glass in his quixotic quest for a drat championship. With that she also leapfrogs back over Vegeta to be the highest paid goon.    Mahogany had a great year with the Yankees, and earns a very big raise - 2 years, $11 millionish each with the Angels. Promises to be a starter too!    Looks like Saito will have at least one more chance with Dugless in Boston - the Red Sox manage to avoid losing him by giving him a nice payday for two more years, though the second year is up to the team. That's likely a reflection of his recent struggles, so he has one year to turn it around.    Wow! I really thought Snorp would end up playing his whole career in Texas - looks like that will not be the case. His last year is a vesting option - meaning he has to meet some requirement to get it, in this case play 135 games the season before. Dude's made about 150+ every season so far, so he'll probably get it. Either way, welcome to the revamped Beisbolcats, Snorp!   It doesn't make the news, but Sir Plusse also signs a minor league contract with the Rays.   After what is by far our busiest free agency period yet, many goons still don't have a new contract, with Reggie Blank most prominent among them. His demands remain high, suggesting he may still be fielding offers, but we'll have to wait until 2037's update to see where he ends up.      A pretty eventful Hall of Fame ballot this year! First, both Mike Trout and Bryce Harper make the Hall at the same time. This is somewhat poetic - both players played their first full seasons around the same time, and were compared to each other a fair bit in their early careers. Trout ultimately became the best player of his generation - and in this OOTP universe, he finished with a career 126.9 WAR to Harper's 80.1. This would put Trout at 12th overall, number 6 overall for Home Runs (671), 5th overall in walks (2019, JUST behind Ted Williams), with a career .410 OBP to boot, and I'm sure a bunch of other impressive accomplishments. Easily the most talented player many of us have ever seen. Yet as in real life, poor Trout only ever got to play on the Angels, and thus never got to win a championship. His one great flaw. Lol @ his quote in the OOTP news. The last bit of drama is that Justin Verlander failed to make it on his last ballot, dropping to 58.2% and forever lamenting how close he got. 2036 Goon Batting Stats  Another season, another Kalan average above .300! And is that a career high 27 home runs I spy? Yes it is. Dude just cannot quit. The Phillies don't deserve you. Bantoni looks to be back in form too - he appears weary of the constant competition from Replica, ripping another 44 home runs and topping 101 RBI, all while placing third among goons in OBP (of those with 350+ PA's). A shame his defense is dreadful, so his WAR is always lower than his rivals. Speaking of Replica looks to be fully recovered from her awful year, and stayed healthy enough to play a majority of games! She fell only to Bantoni in dingers, though her average seems to have taken something of a permanent hit. Her fielding remains elite though, and she once again smoked all goons in WAR. May you save Glass from his curse. Another useful transition - Glass has been silently mediocre for a bit, putting up good defense but not really impressing with his offense. No more - 2036 was his best season since 2032, and his frustrated quest for a championship has been bolstered by the arrival of arguably our best offensive goon. His power, at least, was back at its peak - this was his second best season in terms of home runs, and he otherwise led to Mets to ANOTHER playoff run. He still strikes out a LOT, but with his decent walk rate and solid XBH numbers, he's ready to vanquish his demons. Never sleep on Snorp - I really don't know who is more consistent between himself and Kalan. Snorp's disadvantage in such a comparison is that his defense is now pretty minimally impactful, as he's been converted to an alright first baseman, but he CRUSHES all other goons in RBI numbers by an insane amount. He's been to the playoffs almost as much as Glass, but has a ring to show for it. Maybe he can redeem Detroit for Ilitch's crimes. Dugless was quiet this season, but productive. He's settled into a Snorp-like routine of having decent numbers across the board, not really excelling at anything in particular. This may be in part due to the fact that he pitches a bit and hampers his count stats, but everything indicates a productive dude with talent to spare. May he be healthy the coming offseason, and lead Boston to victory. Adam Malysz was the only goon who truly struggled this season with a lot of PA's. He's barely above the Mendoza line and striking out like crazy. Fortunately he has one more season on San Diego to get his poo poo together. Reggie... he didn't struggle perse, but this is way below what we expect from the guy. A .233 average and .661 OPS? .285 OBP!?? That's some pretty weak poo poo. He's lucky his name and past is quite impressive, as it will at least earn him something this offseason. We'll see how much. Saito had a similarly disappointing season, but got an extension for it, so  .Props to Cooper as one of our marginal goons who refuses to quit. He keeps that average and OBP high enough to keep getting chances, and I think he's been underappreciated and underutilized by teams. How the gently caress is Stalin still even in the majors? This is his first positive WAR season above a .2. Late bloomer? This year is tough - there are LOTS of good candidates. I think I gotta recognize Bantoni Kemping as the Best Batting Goon for 2036, just because the dude continues to rake and I love dingers. That OBP AND power is also something to be admired - no other goon has quite as much of both of these things, even Replica. 2036 Pitching Stats  Vegeta didn't earn a Cy Young vote this year, and I kinda see why - he definitely had a teensy bit of a down year over his last couple of seasons. Not by THAT much though - his 1.03 WHIP led the majors, as did his 2.1 BB/9, and it's not like his ERA was that bad. I think it was just bad luck or bad fielding behind him (not Replica!). Either way, our best pitcher is alone on the White Sox now, and they need help. Charlie Brown did alright ERA-wise, but most importantly, he started all season and went deep, all season. That's an achievement in and of itself - even if his numbers are dwarfed by players like Vegeta. Dude is also allergic to dingers, which is great to see. Plusse had a down year, starting somewhat inconsistently and being juggled between being a reliever, starter, and having the team use an opener for him. His ratings have tanked to 39/39 so I wonder if he's gassed, or even gets another chance in the majors. We'll see. Rich Mahogany had a FANTASTIC season, maybe eve better than Vegeta's when accounting for the fact that he was a reliever. That K/9 and HR/9 rock, with the obvious pristine 2.18 ERA making him very attractive as a reliever. The Yankees may have used him as a long reliever/with an opener as much as they did as a setup guy, but less so than in Plusse's case. Either way I'm impressed, and Mahogany earned that huge raise. O'Doyle had a poo poo year, giving up way too many dingers/runs in general as a reliever. Apparently Texas used him as an opener/low leverage reliever - we'll see if that continues next year. Dugless was our worst pitcher yet again. I don't like it because he's missing batting opportunities. His FIP is always like 2 ERA higher though, every year. Manjack got hurt and missed most of the season, not doing well at all in the little time he played. Vegeta has enough wins. Rich Mahogany gets my best pitching goon for 2036. He earned it by crushing it as a reliever. I look forward to his coming season! 2036 Goon Fielding Stats  Peruse at your leisure. As stated, I abstain from judgement for lack of knowledge. I can tell Replica kicks rear end though. Thus ends 2036 - a pretty normal year, but one of playoff disappointment and an eventful free agency for the goons. Will Blank get a big contract despite his slump? Will Bob Glass FINALLY win a championship, with Replica arriving as reinforcements? Did Vegeta miss his window to win a Cy Young? We'll find out next time!
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Mar 11, 2023 08:42
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