Sidequests to give to an adventurer - The Something Awful Forums

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Pastel Candy Snake: Sep 6, 2018; 🍭hiss🐍

If you were a questgiver in an RPG, what sidequest would you send a wayward hero on?

# ? Jan 30, 2023 00:02

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ? Mar 21, 2023 13:32

By popular demand: Jul 17, 2007; IT *BZZT* WASP ME--
IT WASP ME ALL *BZZT* ALONG!

I'll give you 10 gp to close this sad thread.

# ? Jan 30, 2023 00:08

Pastel Candy Snake: Sep 6, 2018; 🍭hiss🐍

# ? Jan 30, 2023 00:10

Songbearer: Jul 12, 2007; Fuck you say?

Go deep into the Fey Woods and find the Invisible Gibbersnack, a miniature pixie of mischief and mayhem who has been terrorising the village with its wild antics!

then while they're busy i'd go into their adventurer home and steal their loot

# ? Jan 30, 2023 00:12

EorayMel: May 29, 2015; WE GET IT. YOU LOVE GUN JESUS. Toujours des fusils Bullpup Fran�ais.

Make a good post.

# ? Jan 30, 2023 00:13

Mumpy Puffinz: Aug 11, 2008; ASK ME ABOUT MY WEALTH OF EXPERIENCE WITH GAS STATION BONER PILLS; Nap Ghost

please save my farm by killing 20 wolves and bringing me their pelts. I will give you 50 gold and 1000 xp in exchange

# ? Jan 30, 2023 00:18

You Are A Elf: Apr 26, 2010; Black Gold!

Pick up dry-cleaning.

# ? Jan 30, 2023 00:18

Songbearer: Jul 12, 2007; Fuck you say?

Alack! My love for posts has long been neglected! Though I search high and low through these vaunted forums I cannot find a post worthy of my vast amounts of gold and lucre! Young adventurer, be you wise enough to construct a worthy post? Take this sack of words and make an old hand smile once more! Be warned: Each word can only be used once!

You Receive: A Sack Of Words

> Open Sack

code:

Contents:

 PLEASE      FOR       FATHER
             INSERTION             LONGSWORD
BUTTHOLE      NOW         THEY                  YOUR
   TOGETHER             WHIMSICAL
          GREMLIN       SINGLE           MOTHER
 HOMESTEAD              AND           POLE
         THANKS            TURGID               ROD            HARSH
ENCRUSTED             GORY         VEGAN
    I            WINKLE              MY
 PISSED         WISHED           GUSHED         THRUSTED
YOU            LUST

Songbearer fucked around with this message at 00:23 on Jan 30, 2023

# ? Jan 30, 2023 00:20

Lucky Guy: Jan 24, 2013; TY for no bm

I'm running low on bear asses again, I could use another 20. What am I going to do with them? Look, do you want to get paid or not?

# ? Jan 30, 2023 00:21

BAGS FLY AT NOON: Apr 6, 2011

10 gold to suck my dick and balls

# ? Jan 30, 2023 00:21

hemale in pain: Jun 5, 2010

Mumpy Puffinz posted:

please save my farm by killing 20 wolves and bringing me their pelts. I will give you 50 gold and 1000 xp in exchange

the wolves only have a 40% chance to drop a pelt

# ? Jan 30, 2023 00:22

Mumpy Puffinz: Aug 11, 2008; ASK ME ABOUT MY WEALTH OF EXPERIENCE WITH GAS STATION BONER PILLS; Nap Ghost

Songbearer posted:

Alack! My love for posts has long been neglected! Though I search high and low through these vaunted forums I cannot find a post worthy of my vast amounts of gold and lucre! Young adventurer, be you wise enough to construct a worthy post? Take this sack of words and make an old hand smile once more! Be warned: Each word can only be used once!

You Receive: A Sack Of Words

> Open Sack
code:
Contents:

 PLEASE      FOR       FATHER
             INSERTION             LONGSWORD
BUTTHOLE      NOW         THEY                  YOUR
   TOGETHER             WHIMSICAL
          GREMLIN       SINGLE           MOTHER
 HOMESTEAD              AND           POLE
         THANKS            TURGID               ROD            HARSH
ENCRUSTED             GORY         VEGAN
    I            WINKLE              MY

YOU            LUST

I just read this out loud and now I think I'm the hero of Kvatch

# ? Jan 30, 2023 00:23

Mumpy Puffinz: Aug 11, 2008; ASK ME ABOUT MY WEALTH OF EXPERIENCE WITH GAS STATION BONER PILLS; Nap Ghost

hemale in pain posted:

the wolves only have a 40% chance to drop a pelt

what am I? A loving mathematician? Just do the goddam job

# ? Jan 30, 2023 00:25

EorayMel: May 29, 2015; WE GET IT. YOU LOVE GUN JESUS. Toujours des fusils Bullpup Fran�ais.

Deliver a printer to the specific destination but you are overburdened.

# ? Jan 30, 2023 00:25

Nooner: Mar 26, 2011; AN A+ OPSTER (:

Find my cute little dog who is lost (it's actually a level 12 Hell Hound!!! :twisted:

)

# ? Jan 30, 2023 00:30

Nooner: Mar 26, 2011; AN A+ OPSTER (:

EorayMel posted:

Deliver a printer to the specific destination but you are overburdened.

# ? Jan 30, 2023 00:30

EorayMel: May 29, 2015; WE GET IT. YOU LOVE GUN JESUS. Toujours des fusils Bullpup Fran�ais.

Build the questgiver a new house in a swamp while dodging :bahgawd:

house code regulations :bahgawd:

# ? Jan 30, 2023 00:31

The Hello Machine: Jul 18, 2021; I'm not a real machine, but I am a real Hello-sayer.

100 gold to gently caress off

# ? Jan 30, 2023 00:33

EorayMel: May 29, 2015; WE GET IT. YOU LOVE GUN JESUS. Toujours des fusils Bullpup Fran�ais.

Help the questgiver raise mental awareness by undertaking an odyssey of epic proportions across the land

# ? Jan 30, 2023 00:33

Mumpy Puffinz: Aug 11, 2008; ASK ME ABOUT MY WEALTH OF EXPERIENCE WITH GAS STATION BONER PILLS; Nap Ghost

be embarrassed that you have a boner and crawl backwards out of the room while meowing

# ? Jan 30, 2023 00:33

EorayMel: May 29, 2015; WE GET IT. YOU LOVE GUN JESUS. Toujours des fusils Bullpup Fran�ais.

Trick a bunch of rich kids to join Kamp Krusty so you can get concert tickets to Ja Rule

# ? Jan 30, 2023 00:33

Colonel Cancer: Sep 26, 2015; Tune into the fireplace channel, you absolute buffoon

Gimme cash for XP. If you give me a whole lot of cash, I'll ding a little bell.

# ? Jan 30, 2023 00:34

EVERY TIME GOING: Mar 17, 2006

Five copper and directions to the nearest Goodwill if the adventurer looks from out of town.

# ? Jan 30, 2023 00:36

EorayMel: May 29, 2015; WE GET IT. YOU LOVE GUN JESUS. Toujours des fusils Bullpup Fran�ais.

Clear out an optional sewer dungeon but its longer than the rest of the other dungeons and associated quests combined

# ? Jan 30, 2023 00:36

EorayMel: May 29, 2015; WE GET IT. YOU LOVE GUN JESUS. Toujours des fusils Bullpup Fran�ais.

Construct a berm in the desert on the wrong side of the border in the middle of a war but you just have to survive and tell everybody else

# ? Jan 30, 2023 00:36

Jelly: Feb 11, 2004; PEANUT BUTTER IS NOT MY FATHER

Songbearer posted:

Alack! My love for posts has long been neglected! Though I search high and low through these vaunted forums I cannot find a post worthy of my vast amounts of gold and lucre! Young adventurer, be you wise enough to construct a worthy post? Take this sack of words and make an old hand smile once more! Be warned: Each word can only be used once!

You Receive: A Sack Of Words

> Open Sack
code:
Contents:

 PLEASE      FOR       FATHER
             INSERTION             LONGSWORD
BUTTHOLE      NOW         THEY                  YOUR
   TOGETHER             WHIMSICAL
          GREMLIN       SINGLE           MOTHER
 HOMESTEAD              AND           POLE
         THANKS            TURGID               ROD            HARSH
ENCRUSTED             GORY         VEGAN
    I            WINKLE              MY
 PISSED         WISHED           GUSHED         THRUSTED
YOU            LUST

This is reminding me of that super fun online word game from a decade or longer ago that I can't remember the name of but it was amazing.

# ? Jan 30, 2023 00:37

EorayMel: May 29, 2015; WE GET IT. YOU LOVE GUN JESUS. Toujours des fusils Bullpup Fran�ais.

Survive for 60 seconds in FYAD

# ? Jan 30, 2023 00:38

William Henry Hairytaint: Oct 29, 2011

I'd tell them to go find an unseelie faerie and insult it, steal its food, threaten it, and tell it that it can't do poo poo about it. If they actually did it then it would give them a huge penalty to the otherwise more or less irrelevant luck stat but they'd have a much greater chance of getting to have sex with the attractive seelie faerie who only exists in the game so people can gently caress it

every single one of them would do it

# ? Jan 30, 2023 00:38

EorayMel: May 29, 2015; WE GET IT. YOU LOVE GUN JESUS. Toujours des fusils Bullpup Fran�ais.

Help the questgiver procure some "merchandise" involving research chemicals and a piano

# ? Jan 30, 2023 00:38

Songbearer: Jul 12, 2007; Fuck you say?

Return McAfee from the plane of Hell in which he resides by collecting the Forty Million Trial Discs

# ? Jan 30, 2023 00:39

mik: Oct 15, 2003; oh

kill jester

# ? Jan 30, 2023 00:40

Jelly: Feb 11, 2004; PEANUT BUTTER IS NOT MY FATHER

Spay my cats

# ? Jan 30, 2023 00:42

Mumpy Puffinz: Aug 11, 2008; ASK ME ABOUT MY WEALTH OF EXPERIENCE WITH GAS STATION BONER PILLS; Nap Ghost

Jelly posted:

Spay my cats

calm down Bob Barker

# ? Jan 30, 2023 00:44

EorayMel: May 29, 2015; WE GET IT. YOU LOVE GUN JESUS. Toujours des fusils Bullpup Fran�ais.

Find The Three Lost Permabanned Accounts

# ? Jan 30, 2023 00:45

EorayMel: May 29, 2015; WE GET IT. YOU LOVE GUN JESUS. Toujours des fusils Bullpup Fran�ais.

Permaban Ten Reregs

# ? Jan 30, 2023 00:46

Panic! At The Tesco: Aug 19, 2005; POGCHUMP !

#essereFerrari

fetch me some weed brave adventurer and i shall grant thee mine knowledge

# ? Jan 30, 2023 00:51

Songbearer: Jul 12, 2007; Fuck you say?

code:

                         QUEST:
               PISS SIX FEET IN THE AIR
              RESIST [STATUS EFFECT: WET]

                         REWARD:
             NO DOWNPAYMENT ON MECHASTEED

                        FAILURE:
           FACTION: [BIG BILL HELL] - HOSTILE
         DAMAGE: 6-20 (NUTRIPPER) (IGNORES ARMOUR)

# ? Jan 30, 2023 00:54