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*Frodo, disguised as Mr.Underhill, dances carelessly on a table at the Prancing Pony. Suddenly, he trips and tumbles from the table, instinctively reaching into his pocket as he falls. Shots ring out in the crowded bar and several patrons fall dead.* FRODO, over screams: "gently caress!! The safety was on!! I swear to loving god! Oh, gently caress me, im so hosed!!!!"
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Feb 6, 2023 10:19
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| # ? Mar 21, 2023 14:01 |
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*the fellowship has made their way into the mines of moria, and are resting temporarily. Pippin, casually reloading a 9mm magazine while sitting on the edge of an old well, fumbles a round. The sound of the brass casing banging against the stone well echoes through the silent caverns* GUNDALF: "Fool of a Took!!"
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Feb 6, 2023 10:38
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Why didn't they just use the eagles to ride the ring into Mordor, spraying fire on the orcs the entire time?
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Feb 6, 2023 10:40
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Mega64 posted:Why didn't they just use the eagles to ride the ring into Mordor, spraying fire on the orcs the entire time? seriously did nobody ever bother to read the loving books? mordor is covered in aa batteries
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Feb 6, 2023 10:46
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i really liked the joker hobbit
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Feb 6, 2023 10:52
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Gandalf takes a long slow drag of his pipe weed and proceeds to not go after Sauron that day, because he got high.
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Feb 6, 2023 11:12
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Mega64 posted:Why didn't they just use the eagles to ride the ring into Mordor, spraying fire on the orcs the entire time? They were desert eagles, not mountain eagles. Completely unsuited for terrain
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Feb 6, 2023 13:11
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Eowyn: I know what you're thinking, Witch King of Angmar. "Did she fire six shots or only five?" Well to tell you the truth in all this excitement I kinda lost track myself. But being this is a .44 Magnum, the most powerful handgun in the world and would blow your head clean off, you've gotta ask yourself one question: "Do I feel lucky?" Well, do ya, punk?
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Feb 6, 2023 13:23
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The Riders of Rohan surround but ultimately fail to enter the Uruk-hai breeding pit for several hours after witnesses report a man with a gun entered the premises and began firing.
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Feb 6, 2023 13:26
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Bilbo: No, thank you! We don’t want any more visitors, well-wishers, or distant relations! BLAM! BLAM! BLAM! BLAM! BLAM! *Gandalf drops dead outside*
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Feb 6, 2023 13:30
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lol can you imagine tom bombadil with an uzi lmao. haha
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Feb 6, 2023 13:36
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numberoneposter posted:i really liked the joker hobbit *joker voice* wanna know how I got these scars? It was the 3rd age - the dark golem king had banished the blue witch into the sparkle abyss. The alliance between hobbits and man had faltered. The phantom crystal dagger has been forged in the realm of orcs.
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Feb 6, 2023 13:48
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This would make a great Photoshop phriday
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Feb 6, 2023 13:50
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Given the obvious post apocalyptic setting, the swords our brave hobbits find in the barrows ought to be ancient numenorian guns
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Feb 6, 2023 13:55
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Aragorn: You have my sword Legolas: And my bow! Gimli: And my Mark XIX Desert Eagle, a gas-operated, semi-automatic pistol with a 7 round capacity in .50 AE and 8 round capacity in .44 Magnum. The gun measures 10.75” in length with a 6” barrel, or 14.75” in a 10” barrel available in black as an aftermarket item. Width is 1.25”, height 6.25” and the weight with an empty magazine is approximately 72 ounces. It has a trigger reach of 2.75” and a sight radius of 8.5” with the 6” barrel. The construction of the Mark XIX Desert Eagle utilizes the latest CNC machine technology providing exacting specifications with tight tolerances creating a work of art in a precision firearm. The grip is anatomically formed and provides an ideal hand seating angle for two-handed shooting allowing for comfortable, rapid and accurate firing. The picatinny style accessory rail easily allows for aftermarket optics and scope rings.
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Feb 6, 2023 13:56
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Elves, with their penalty to strength score, should really all be using guns instead of propulsive weapons like bows.
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Feb 6, 2023 13:58
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Elrond tried to use a big gun in the matrix and it was the saddest thing
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Feb 6, 2023 14:01
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Nothing. No matches on prints, DNA, dental. Clothing is custom, no labels. Nothing in his pockets but knives, elven lembas bread, and lint. One bite will satisfy a man for a day. No name. No other aliases.
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Feb 6, 2023 14:35
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Mega64 posted:Why didn't they just use the eagles to ride the ring into Mordor, spraying fire on the orcs the entire time? *Bilbo, Gandalf and the Dwarves are clinging to the crowns of several large fir trees after a harrowing escape from the Misty Mountains. Below, their goblin pursuers cackle as they set fire to the piles of kindling they've laid around the huge tree trunks. Suddenly, an AGM-65 Maverick screams out of the night sky, disintegrating a group of wargs and goblins and sending the rest fleeing for cover* GANDALF: "THE EAGLES!! THEY HAVE COME!!!!"
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Feb 6, 2023 14:53
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free hubcaps posted:GANDALF: "THE DEAGLES!! THEY HAVE COME!!!!"
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Feb 6, 2023 15:01
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'People keep asking me if I'm back and I haven't really had an answer' ~Elrond hands Aragon Narsil~ 'But now yeah, I'm thinking I'm back'
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Feb 6, 2023 15:03
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Faramir gestures for Frodo to look down from their cliff side vantage point. Below, Gollum is in the pool formed by the waterfall. He is firing his pistol wildly into the water in a hilarious attempt to catch a fish. “To enter the Forbidden Pool is punishable by death “
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Feb 6, 2023 15:13
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Gandalf the Greynadier
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Feb 6, 2023 15:14
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Gundalf
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Feb 6, 2023 15:17
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Share the magnum load
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Feb 6, 2023 15:18
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Gimli and Legolas having sex in the Marine barracks
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Feb 6, 2023 15:18
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Bard's famous black magazine clip
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Feb 6, 2023 17:18
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(On the bridge in Moria, Gandalf is somehow wielding a pair of belt-fed .50 caliber automatic revolvers with a backpack full of ammunition) Gandalf: FLY, YOU FOOLS!!! Balrog: *Balrog noises* (The Balrog cuts loose with a Phalanx machine gun lifted from a battleship. Sam, Merry, and Pippin vaporize into a fine red mist, but will somehow be alive again in the next scene) Alec Baldwin: *sweatdrop, heavy breathing*
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Feb 6, 2023 17:26
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It’s been a grueling day of filming but Peter Jackson and his infamous perfectionism runs rampant without consideration for the cast and crew. Earlier that very day, a group of camera operators walked offset after feeling their concerns had been ignored. Tensions were high, and it was in this atmosphere that Sir Ian McKellen finally erupted after a reshoot of the Riders of Rohan fortuitous arrival at the end of the Battle of Helm’s Deep was called. “Another take?! How about I just loving shoot the both of ya?!” Tragedy quickly ensued. The Bramble fucked around with this message at 20:28 on Feb 6, 2023 |
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Feb 6, 2023 18:51
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Pippin drops the .45 into his travel sack. Forget about elevenses, will they? Not bloody likely.
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Feb 6, 2023 18:58
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BAGS FLY AT NOON posted:Bilbo: No, thank you! We don’t want any more visitors, well-wishers, or distant relations! BLAM! BLAM! BLAM! BLAM! BLAM! *The Sackville-Bagginses are banging on Bilbo's front door, peering through the windows, and loudly carrying on calling for Bilbo to let them in* BILBO, crouching behind an umbrella stand and fingering the trigger of his Bushmaster AR-15: "Do it, you bitch, open that loving door..."
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Feb 6, 2023 19:47
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Do you have a warrant? YOU SHALL NOT PASS
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Feb 7, 2023 00:12
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planes fly into the two towers
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Feb 7, 2023 00:15
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The Battle of Helm's Deep was an inside job
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Feb 7, 2023 01:24
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Feb 7, 2023 01:36
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Sauron to Aragorn via the Palantír: What the gently caress did you just loving say about me, you little bitch? I'll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Maiar, and I've been involved in numerous secret raids on Númenor, and I have over 300 confirmed kills. I am trained in Mûmakil warfare and I'm the top sniper in the entire Mordor armed forces. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the gently caress out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on Middle-Earth, mark my loving words. You think you can get away with saying that poo poo to me over a seeing stone? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across Gondor and your Palantír is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You're loving dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that's just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of Minas Morgul and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable rear end off the face of the continent, you little poo poo. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little "clever" comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your loving tongue. But you couldn't, you didn't, and now you're paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will poo poo fury all over you and you will drown in it. You're loving dead, kiddo.
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Feb 7, 2023 01:53
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Ghost rider begins to play as the Witch King of Angmar prepares to enter Minas Tirith. Gandalf reaches to his side and fingers the pearl grip on his Schofield.
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Feb 7, 2023 03:19
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Lotr but with guns would be so loving metal 
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Feb 7, 2023 03:30
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"Amidst the endless screaming and inane babble, they discerned two words..." "Badass! MOTHERfucker!" "Badass? Motherfucker? That would lead them here!"
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Feb 7, 2023 05:18
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| # ? Mar 21, 2023 14:01 |
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The ghost army is replaced by Call of Duty Modern Warfare Black Ops Ghost Army.
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Feb 7, 2023 07:29
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