|
I took a poo poo in the middle of the night and pushed so hard I heard a loud snap in my neck. For the next two weeks I experienced a hell I had never thought existed. I resisted going to the ER the whole time until I cried like an absolute bitch one morning and relented. After threat of spinal tap I declined, the ER let me go with amazing muscle relaxers that fixed it all. What is the most common goon injury?
|
#
?
Feb 9, 2023 00:39
|
|
|
|
| # ? Mar 31, 2023 21:20 |
|
|
I don't really have random injuries. My most common pain is my right shoulder being in pain for no reason. But that's not a sign of age, it's from having it broken badly in my early twenties. I did hurt my back last year and I think I slipped a disc, which hurt like a motherfucker for a week, but that was because I was moving heavy furniture and the other person was an idiot. Basically what I have learned in life is that other people ruin your body, time is slack.
|
|
#
?
Feb 9, 2023 00:56
|
|
|
Injured my back whilst getting up from the toilet. Hurt for a good 2-3 days.
|
|
#
?
Feb 9, 2023 01:00
|
|
|
nuts caught in bicycle spokes
|
|
#
?
Feb 9, 2023 01:04
|
|
|
tv fell on my head and turned me into a skeleton
|
|
#
?
Feb 9, 2023 01:07
|
|
|
Hurt my back moving my furniture to a new house. Doctors are dicks so now my medication is bourbon old fashions and weed.
|
|
#
?
Feb 9, 2023 01:09
|
|
|
A stiff wind will blow out one or both of my knees. I have to be extremely careful when I exercise, especially if I'm increasing the amount I'm doing even a little bit. Also I ran on a track once after a year of running through my neighborhood and developed such a bad stress fracture in my left leg that it took like 8 months to heal.
|
|
#
?
Feb 9, 2023 02:31
|
|
|
Fell out of mum's poosay
|
|
#
?
Feb 9, 2023 03:28
|
|
|
bossy lady posted:A stiff wind will blow out one or both of my knees. I have to be extremely careful when I exercise, especially if I'm increasing the amount I'm doing even a little bit. great username/regdate combo
|
|
#
?
Feb 9, 2023 03:32
|
|
|
I hurt my back lying down.
|
|
#
?
Feb 9, 2023 03:35
|
|
|
Sneezing is a risk
|
|
#
?
Feb 9, 2023 03:36
|
|
|
I hurt my pinky lighting a lighter. Like, it hurt for weeks.
|
|
#
?
Feb 9, 2023 03:37
|
|
|
Lighters usually light themselves thougg
|
|
#
?
Feb 9, 2023 03:39
|
|
|
Should I say I was lighting my bowl then? Because that's what I was doing, with my lighter. 
|
|
#
?
Feb 9, 2023 03:40
|
|
|
Glass jar shattered in my anus as I sat on n it
|
|
#
?
Feb 9, 2023 03:53
|
|
|
was grocery shopping and tripped, fell into a fusion torus. totally annihilated my whole body. i was like, wow I guess I'm officially middle aged.
|
|
#
?
Feb 9, 2023 03:57
|
|
|
Broke my dinger doing it with 5 beautiful women. At the same time 
|
|
#
?
Feb 9, 2023 03:58
|
|
|
JetSetGo posted:I took a poo poo in the middle of the night and pushed so hard good luck w/ the hemorrhoids
|
|
#
?
Feb 9, 2023 04:04
|
|
|
I was five years old when I realized I couldn't shrug off buckshot like I used to. Has anyone seen John Connor by the way?
|
|
#
?
Feb 9, 2023 04:08
|
|
|
/stumbles into the thread and cracks a vertebrae D-d-d-id someone say "when posting" yet?
|
|
#
?
Feb 9, 2023 04:10
|
|
|
My knees have been bad since I was 14, and just getting worse. I'm sad about that.
|
|
#
?
Feb 9, 2023 04:11
|
|
|
for real though, i broke my knee in a fencing (like, the sport) mishap when I was 17 or so. Went through a lot of rehab and can still do sports, but it hurts more the older I get 
|
|
#
?
Feb 9, 2023 04:19
|
|
|
On the morning of my 30th birthday I sneezed really hard and threw my back out for two days.
|
|
#
?
Feb 9, 2023 04:20
|
|
|
Dislocated my shoulder while taking a shower.
|
|
#
?
Feb 9, 2023 04:36
|
|
|
in my late 30s I played pinball all night at a rented cabin with friends and the next day the muscles in both my forearms were so shot I couldn’t properly wipe my rear end for a few days. The pinball machine was Lethal Weapon 3 
|
|
#
?
Feb 9, 2023 04:39
|
|
|
I’m almost 40 and I’ve never been seriously injured and I’m dumb as hell
|
|
#
?
Feb 9, 2023 04:51
|
|
|
Mechanical Pencil posted:Fell out of mum's poosay same fell out of his mum's pussy
|
|
#
?
Feb 9, 2023 04:59
|
|
|
Demon Of The Fall posted:I’m almost 40 and I’ve never been seriously injured and I’m dumb as hell you should take up parkour
|
|
#
?
Feb 9, 2023 05:01
|
|
|
Colonel Cancer posted:same fell out of his mum's pussy Cracked my skull WIDE open. Filled the void with carpet underlay.
|
|
#
?
Feb 9, 2023 05:15
|
|
|
2 colonoscopies. One of them I was partially conscious.
|
|
#
?
Feb 9, 2023 05:17
|
|
|
I currently have tennis elbow. Not sure if this makes me feel old so much as stiff ankles and knees every morning but it really sucks cuz I am constantly aggravating it.
|
|
#
?
Feb 9, 2023 05:20
|
|
|
Fkn double post, now got anal fissure.
|
|
#
?
Feb 9, 2023 05:23
|
|
|
Dick broken from banging ur mom
|
|
#
?
Feb 9, 2023 05:27
|
|
|
Creed's "With Arse Wide Open" plays over the PA
|
|
#
?
Feb 9, 2023 05:30
|
|
|
I broke my coccyx a few years back and now I swear I can sometimes tell there’s rain on the way because my rear end aches
|
|
#
?
Feb 9, 2023 05:30
|
|
|
I broke my coccyx banging your mom obviously
|
|
#
?
Feb 9, 2023 05:31
|
|
|
When you hosed my rear end and it smelled@!!
|
|
#
?
Feb 9, 2023 05:32
|
|
|
Trixie Hardcore posted:I broke my coccyx banging your mom obviously that's a weird way to b ang
|
|
#
?
Feb 9, 2023 05:32
|
|
|
Toxic Mental posted:Mom broken from banging ur dick
|
|
#
?
Feb 9, 2023 05:32
|
|
|
|
| # ? Mar 31, 2023 21:20 |
|
|
Developed grotesque red fuzzy inner-arm fungal infection from a contaminated racquet. Diagnosis: Tennis Elmo
|
|
#
?
Feb 9, 2023 05:35
|
|