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Zybourne Clock
Oct 25, 2011

Poke me.
Imagine for a second you will die in your sleep tonight (or whenever it is you usually go to bed.) How long do you estimate it would take for somebody to find your body? Pets don't count.

In my case, I think it would take at most two weeks. I'm the only person who lives in my house, but I do have people over at least once every two weeks. That, and the company I work for doesn't appreciate it when people work from home. I like to think they will at least call the cops to do a welfare check before assuming I no longer want to work for them.

I'm asking because I'm curious who thinks they'll rot the longest before being found, and if there are any goons who think they'll never be discovered.

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Alucard
Mar 11, 2002
Pillbug
Are you threatening me?

Brother Tadger
Feb 15, 2012

I'm accidentally a suicide bomber!

Big energy, OP

Zybourne Clock
Oct 25, 2011

Poke me.

Alucard posted:

Are you threatening me?

Just answer the question.

Lil Swamp Booger Baby
Aug 1, 1981

Prob the day after

ClamdestineBoyster
Aug 15, 2015
Oh boy somebodyís gonna kiro me again! :downs:

Weaponized Autism
Mar 26, 2006

All aboard the Gravy train!
Hair Elf
the morning after, cause my wife will wonder why i shat the bed and still sleeping in it

Panic! At The Tesco
Aug 19, 2005

FART


im not going to die

ClamdestineBoyster
Aug 15, 2015
So whatís your fuckin bitchass claim now? Some n stole your surgical tool and banned your piece of poo poo and you got the right to see MY loving BUILD and stick your loving hand down my loving pants again because the cops told you it was ok? Iím gonna beat your loving rear end back into next week. Bet.

Hammerite
Mar 9, 2007

And you don't remember what I said here, either, but it was pompous and stupid.
Jade Ear Joe
I don't think I am likely to die in my sleep at 37 but sometimes I do worry about what would happen if I choked on a piece of food

To answer your question op, probably a week or so i guess

ClamdestineBoyster
Aug 15, 2015
Just go to the library and look up the goddamn patent. Clearly not your poo poo or built on any of your poo poo or part of any shadowy cabal. Stop threatening people when you canít even say their name. Everything electronic is not somehow your loving business or your claim, and if you canít get that through your loving head youíre in for a world of hurt.

Slugworth
Feb 18, 2001

If two grown men can't make a pervert happy for a few minutes in order to watch a film about zombies, then maybe we should all just move to Iran!

Weaponized Autism posted:

the morning after, cause my wife will wonder why i shat the bed and still sleeping in it
No she won't. She'll just sigh and go grab the Resolve again.

ClamdestineBoyster
Aug 15, 2015
Go patent your hot tools and see what they say.

Zeluth
May 12, 2001
Probation
Can't post for 18 days!
I know when upur organ heart beats too much.

*thunk*

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uVfz74FayzM

flubber nuts
Oct 5, 2005


I'm actually the famous Hunchback of Notre Dame, Quasimodo, you may have seen me in the 1999 animated Disney movie. My gargoyle friends who are definitely real and not a hallucination would pretty much notice my death immediately.

Bloodfart McCoy
Jul 20, 2007

That's a high quality avatar right there.
My wife would probably realize something was wrong within a couple of hours of not having a regular giant blast of fart right next to her.

Smugworth
Apr 18, 2003

BINFORD! BINFORD!
I can't shut the fuck up about BINFORD TOOLS!
It took about two weeks for someone to realize my estranged father died in his apartment op

Unpleasant things happen to a body during that time

Hardawn
Mar 15, 2004

Don't look at the sun, but rather what it illuminates
College Slice

Brother Tadger posted:

Big energy, OP

Why not the sign outside that apartment complex that states days since last suicide?

Lil Swamp Booger Baby
Aug 1, 1981

I'm no longer able to die after a long night of meditation made me immortal. All I did was think of Montel Jordan.

Bloodfart McCoy
Jul 20, 2007

That's a high quality avatar right there.

Smugworth posted:

It took about two weeks for someone to realize my estranged father died in his apartment op

Unpleasant things happen to a body during that time

This happened to my buddyís uncle. They had to powersand him out of the floors.

Icochet
Mar 18, 2008

I have a very small TV. Don't make fun of it! Please don't shame it like that~

Grimey Drawer
I'm a gassy bastard, i imagine my final release will shatter all windows within 2km

Lil Swamp Booger Baby
Aug 1, 1981

Icochet posted:

I'm a gassy bastard, i imagine my final release will shatter all windows within 2km

When the poo poo hits your rear end and you've got too much gas that's amore

Zeluth
May 12, 2001
Probation
Can't post for 18 days!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m7M4thNT_EY

Bad Purchase
Jun 17, 2019




i would be found in the morning but i bet my devilish cats would visit my corpse in the night to consume my cheeks and eyelids first

Revins
Nov 2, 2007





tune the FM in to static and pretend that its the sea
I have a roommate so a day or two at most

Earwicker
Jan 6, 2003

i plan to simply take my corpse with me when i die, as i do not like to leave a mess behind me for others to clean up.

Revins
Nov 2, 2007





tune the FM in to static and pretend that its the sea
jumping into a volcano would be a pretty cool way to go. I'm picturing myself being chased by park rangers or security and when I get to the edge I hop off without hesitation and say something like "haha can't catch meeee" and then my body explodes

Icochet
Mar 18, 2008

I have a very small TV. Don't make fun of it! Please don't shame it like that~

Grimey Drawer
To be serious I sincerely hope I die after I've passed out and a drinking buddy stabs me over some bullshit. That's the ticket to finnish valhalla

Buce
Dec 23, 2005

all the dead-man switch bombs i've placed would go off, so it would be p obvious

Earwicker
Jan 6, 2003

Revins posted:

jumping into a volcano would be a pretty cool way to go. I'm picturing myself being chased by park rangers or security and when I get to the edge I hop off without hesitation and say something like "haha can't catch meeee" and then my body explodes

i went to an active volcano in hawaii once and there was absolutely no park rangers or security or anything, just a few tourists milling around taking photos. if you want to jump into the lava no one is going to try stop you

Pastel Candy Snake
Sep 6, 2018

by Hand Knit
the first thing to alert my husband would be one long fart followed by no other farts

Prof. Crocodile
Jun 27, 2020

ClamdestineBoyster posted:

Just go to the library and look up the goddamn patent. Clearly not your poo poo or built on any of your poo poo or part of any shadowy cabal. Stop threatening people when you canít even say their name. Everything electronic is not somehow your loving business or your claim, and if you canít get that through your loving head youíre in for a world of hurt.

Finally, someone had the guts to say what we're all thinking.

Colonel Cancer
Sep 26, 2015

Tune into the fireplace channel, you absolute buffoon
I don't think I've alienated enough people to really get a chance to decompose but I'm gonna grease up my elbows and do my best with it

The Butcher
Apr 20, 2005

Well, at least we tried.
Nap Ghost
I really don't want anyone to have to clean up the mess or do a SAR recovery so probably 24 hours with a set timer alerting, with a clean go out.

Icochet
Mar 18, 2008

I have a very small TV. Don't make fun of it! Please don't shame it like that~

Grimey Drawer

Colonel Cancer posted:

I don't think I've alienated enough people to really get a chance to decompose but I'm gonna grease up my elbows and do my best with it

I would miss your posting after a few days. Thing is, who do you call when a poster goes dark?

Revins
Nov 2, 2007





tune the FM in to static and pretend that its the sea

Earwicker posted:

i went to an active volcano in hawaii once and there was absolutely no park rangers or security or anything, just a few tourists milling around taking photos. if you want to jump into the lava no one is going to try stop you

well now I don't wanna :(

Das Boo
Jun 9, 2011

There was a GHOST here. It's gone now.


Less than a day. I generally got poo poo to do.
If I manage to hit like, 80, I'm gonna put a plastic sheet under my fitted sheet to make my deadness a little easier on everyone.

STABASS
Apr 18, 2009

Fun Shoe
frankly I would consider someone discovering my dead body an unwarranted violation of my privacy

Colonel Cancer
Sep 26, 2015

Tune into the fireplace channel, you absolute buffoon

Icochet posted:

I would miss your posting after a few days. Thing is, who do you call when a poster goes dark?

I meant more IRL but thanks friend!

When a poster goes dark without autoban just call their guild master lol

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Cubone
May 26, 2011

Because it never leaves its bedroom, no one has ever seen this poster's real face.
what a horrible question

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