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For instance just now I was hungry and wasn't sure what I wanted but I found a box of pancake mix and went "OoOoOo that sounds great! and not a lot of work!" mixed it up and threw away 5 that turned out like crap, the 6th one looked okay but tasted horrid. Then I looked at the box and it said "Best before: July 21st 2017". - oh well I will just have a PB&J sandwitch, with the bacon I cooked slapped in between. Tell us your "oops, I hosed up" stories!
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Apr 4, 2023 00:29
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I made a Japanese curry with purple potatoes. Tasted fine but it was a weird shade of putrid purple. Edit: pro tip, if you gently caress up dinner just call it ‘Chicago style’ and nobody will realize it. Eeyo fucked around with this message at 03:09 on Apr 4, 2023 |
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Apr 4, 2023 03:05
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We already have a thread for this.
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Apr 4, 2023 03:17
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Oh, I am sorry. A mod or something can close the thread than. I apoligize.
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Apr 4, 2023 06:21
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The old thread is like 10 years old and hasn't been posted in for months imo this forum needs some new blood around here because it's my favorite and I'm sad that it's so slow. Once upon a time when I was like 15 I dumped the mac and cheese packet to boil with the noodles.
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Apr 4, 2023 16:49
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pandy fackler posted:Once upon a time when I was like 15 I dumped the mac and cheese packet to boil with the noodles. I did this on an LSD trip where I was trying to pretend I wasn’t tripping balls to my very anti-drug girlfriend at the time. I remember bringing the pot to her and being like “I don’t know what I did wrong”.
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Apr 4, 2023 19:49
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pandy fackler posted:The old thread is like 10 years old and hasn't been posted in for months imo this forum needs some new blood around here because it's my favorite and I'm sad that it's so slow. Cool beans! I don't post in this subforum much, but I do read it or ask the random question. And for content. Like a week ago I thought it would be a "bright" idea to put a little balsamic vinegar into the marinara sauce I was making - well that little dash that I wanted to do turned out to be like 3 table spoons. I just added a bunch of parmesan and sugar to kind of hide it. It wound up being ---- edible.
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Apr 5, 2023 09:12
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nunsexmonkrock posted:Cool beans! I don't post in this subforum much, but I do read it or ask the random question. I made this mistake a few months ago with a wine vinegar and pea soup, except like a half a cup of the cooking liquid was vinegar. I'm generally instinctually a really good cook but I guess I was thinking about white wine being a nice addition and didn't have any on hand. The vinegar was not nice it tasted faintly of 
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Apr 6, 2023 03:32
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I made a sauce with a jar of butternut squash puree that tasted like burnt hair. Turns out you shouldn't treat it like a barbecue sauce and leave it simmering on the stove for two hours, who knew.
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Apr 8, 2023 06:42
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I recently made mayonnaise in my blender and working from memory (it's been quite a while since I made my own, and couldn't find the written version) put in too much lemon juice and vinegar. It was usable but quite thin, and very lemony. Worked very well with hamburgers, thinly spread on the bun. Unfortunately the emulsion broke after a day or so. It would stay solid in the fridge and then separate and melt all over the place within a minute or two after spreading it on something.
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Apr 8, 2023 07:10
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I agree this forum needs more traffic. My last big fuckup was for friend who. I was trying to make up his previous birthday to. It was still game of thrones mania so we did GOT themed birthday. Had a very funny family saying for him and his wife (We Pay the Emotional Price). Anyway, I did a multiple course meal. Can’t remember what we made but there was croquembouche, sword skewered meat balls, and Genoese meat and onion sauce pasta. gently caress up one was literally half of the people attending had to cancel. Fuckup two was the dinner was a Friday and I spent the entire night before cooking everything, still having to work the day of Friday. I tried to make polenta cakes and in spite of my best efforts could not cook out the bitterness. Around 4 AM I moved the pot to an oven mitt to co down and give up. A minute later I smell smoke and come back to see the oven mitt has melted and the pot is smoking. I gave up on the polenta cakes. Disaster after disaster. Luckily the dinner as a whole turned our wonderful in spite of half the expected attendance and me being dead on my feet tired.
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Apr 9, 2023 05:48
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I hit the wrong button while heating up my oven for cookies. Set in some nice Christmas dough, wonder five minutes later why there is burning. I had set it to broil.
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Apr 17, 2023 05:30
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I made lemon curd but forgot to add the lemon juice.
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Apr 17, 2023 06:27
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Buttchocks posted:I made lemon curd but forgot to add the lemon juice. whoa. just neutral Curd.
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Apr 17, 2023 20:32
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I am going to tell my husbands gently caress up. He tried to make me a heart shaped pizza (for valentines day), and he used WAY too much garlic. I ate like 2 bites and decided I was done. Garlic is nice in a pizza sauce but if you use a whole bulb - it is not very nice! But the fact he went through the effort was nice - and honestly the pizza crust was nice and made well - but again, way too much garlic in the sauce!
nunsexmonkrock fucked around with this message at 02:32 on Apr 23, 2023 |
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Apr 23, 2023 02:30
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https://twitter.com/22dbrit/status/1653468934358614023?s=46&t=Kzmv5HsyFqNWsBcA-dIRLA
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May 3, 2023 06:23
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Steve Yun posted:https://twitter.com/22dbrit/status/1653468934358614023?s=46&t=Kzmv5HsyFqNWsBcA-dIRLA Fukken 
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May 3, 2023 06:38
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Although it’s not my own I posted that video because I’ve literally done that. Twice.
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May 3, 2023 07:03
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A brief history of things I have hosed up in the kitchen that my wife will never let me live down: -Using her Pyrex dish under a broiler. Whoops broken glass everywhere! -Trying to make hot sauce, the recipe called for the jalapenos to be sautéed on the stove. Our hood didn't vent outdoors. Whoops all pepper spray! -I made a white fish dish that called for some fresh squeezed oranges. "Hey, my girlfriend likes blood oranges, I'll use those instead!". Whoops purple fish! (It tasted fine, but that coloring was really unappetizing.)
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May 3, 2023 21:16
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This happened while we had a 3 week old so I’m attributing it to sleep deprivation: Went to steam some green beans for a quick side dish. Threw the burner on high and went on my way. After a few minutes I thought it was weird that no steam was coming and noticed I forgot to add water. For some reason I thought the green beans were salvageable, so I pulled the pot off the burner and went to the sink for water. Had my hand on the faucet when my brain remembered that cold water + screaming hot pan = bad stuff, so I put the pan on a bare countertop and thought through my options. While I stood there processing in a haze, the pot dumped heat into the counter and caused a series of cracks around the edges of the pot. I cover it up with a dish cloth, but sometimes that gets moved and the crack sits there, mocking me while I wash dishes.
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May 3, 2023 22:03
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Here is an oops by my spouse. He came home with Sesame Cold Noodles said he had some after putting hot sauce in them, thinking I wanted that crap - If you want f'n spicy use hot chili oil not f'n tobasco suace - the vinegar and other spices in it changes the whole flavor profile. I don't want to eat that crap and don't act like you were being nice to me - in 20 years when have you ever seen me use hot sauce!? The answer is never. I mean I guess hot sauce can go good on eggs, but I don't eat eggs, sure I will use them to bake a cake or make pasta or whatever else requires them but that is about it. nunsexmonkrock fucked around with this message at 03:37 on May 10, 2023 |
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May 10, 2023 03:33
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Don't mean to double post but I put some rice in my rice cooker last night while I was a bit tipsy and trying to figure out why it would not work. Well after a bit of trying I realized I did not put any water in there! 
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May 13, 2023 18:49
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How does it know that there’s no water?
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May 13, 2023 23:24
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The basic rice cookers have a temperature sensor so they can cut off the power once all the water is absorbed (and the temperature inside starts rising above boiling). So probably it just heated up a bunch really quickly and dutifully said “hey your rice is done!” Edit: my (cheap) rice cooker has a little button kind of thing below the pot insert, maybe it wouldn’t run if there wasn’t enough weight in it. Eeyo fucked around with this message at 03:22 on May 14, 2023 |
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May 14, 2023 03:20
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nunsexmonkrock posted:I am going to tell my husbands gently caress up. He tried to make me a heart shaped pizza (for valentines day), and he used WAY too much garlic. I ate like 2 bites and decided I was done. Garlic is nice in a pizza sauce but if you use a whole bulb - it is not very nice! But the fact he went through the effort was nice - and honestly the pizza crust was nice and made well - but again, way too much garlic in the sauce! My old roommate from college was making some food (she rarely cooked), and came in with 3 heads of garlic. I said “wow that’s a lot of garlic!” and she said “yeah the recipe wanted 5 cloves but they were kind of expensive so I bought 3”. Thankfully I told her the difference between cloves and heads of garlic.
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May 14, 2023 03:25
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Steve Yun posted:How does it know that there’s no water? They way the rice cooker works is the magnet in it stops when the temp gets over boiling point, when it gets over that the magnet stops working and releases. Eeyo posted:My old roommate from college was making some food (she rarely cooked), and came in with 3 heads of garlic. I said “wow that’s a lot of garlic!” and she said “yeah the recipe wanted 5 cloves but they were kind of expensive so I bought 3”. Thankfully I told her the difference between cloves and heads of garlic. Yeah a clove and a bulbs are two different things lol.
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May 15, 2023 00:13
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Steve Yun posted:How does it know that there’s no water? nunsexmonkrock posted:They way the rice cooker works is the magnet in it stops when the temp gets over boiling point, when it gets over that the magnet stops working and releases. Technology Connections, the king of finding cool things about mundane tech, has a video about rice cookers if you want https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RSTNhvDGbYI
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May 17, 2023 20:49
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bbcisdabomb posted:Technology Connections, the king of finding cool things about mundane tech, has a video about rice cookers if you want I like that guy - I watched his video to take care of my hurricane lantern - but I do keep a nit of kerosene on my porch so if the power goes out I can light up the house.
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May 18, 2023 07:01
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Uh oh! another oops my husband did. - I have told him many times if he wants to reheat a pizza in the toaster oven he needs to preheat it for at least 10 minutes - but nope he ignores my instructions and he slapped a pizza slice inside of it and turned it on. - Well guess what the pizza burst into flames and I had to shout and scream to make him get away so I could pour salt onto it. Than he got angry at me like I did something wrong because now he didn't have any slices left and wanted one of mine. I said shouted "gently caress NO -you ruined yours and are not taking mine!"
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May 22, 2023 00:20
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Posted this a while back in the smoker thread, but this happend when I was smoking a turkey for Thanksgiving. 10+ years of smoking, and I've never had the smoker explode before lmao. 
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May 23, 2023 15:53
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I was gonna ask how the gently caress, then I saw the propane? I assume it went out, filled with unburnt propane, and was re-lit?
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May 27, 2023 17:08
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JoshGuitar posted:I was gonna ask how the gently caress, then I saw the propane? I assume it went out, filled with unburnt propane, and was re-lit? Nope! Best as I can tell, the drip tray filled with grease from an extra-fatty turkey, spilled onto the flame ring, and caught fire. That spread up to the turkey itself. The actual turkey was on fire, and the probe thermometer in the breast read 360F before it melted. 
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May 27, 2023 18:24
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Well at least the turkey was cooked all the way through!
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May 30, 2023 21:03
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SLICK GOKU BABY posted:Well at least the turkey was cooked all the way through! Lol, silver linings. My stepdad, bless his heart, managed to get a replacement, *fresh* turkey the same day (day before Thanksgiving) which I cooked in the oven. A bit drier than my smoked birds, since I didn't get to dry brine it, but drat if it didn't look good! 
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May 30, 2023 21:16
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I don't remember how old I was but I was a kid and making a bowl of cereal. I saw buttermilk in the fridge and thought "milks good, butters good, oh man that must be the best milk ever". It was not.
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Jun 1, 2023 21:31
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I sell cheesecakes as a side hustle. My recipe takes a low-and-slow approach, can bake upwards of 2 hours. Anyway, I'd been baking well into the evening hours for a delivery the next morning. I took the baked and rested cheesecake out of the oven and set it on top of the stove while I quickly attended to something else, I don't even remember what. But a second after I turn my back, I hear a "shhhhplink.....CRASH" and turn around to see the springform pan upside down on the floor. The burners on our stove are slightly angled and I guess I just wasn't paying attention. I HAVE NO IDEA WHY I set it on the stove and not on the countertop literally an inch away. But I had to run out to the store to re-buy all the ingredients and stay up way, way past my bedtime to make another stupid cheesecake. I promise you the second one was not made with the same amount of love as the first one 
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Jun 4, 2023 01:10
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Trying to do something from Bake Off for the kids and I pretty much nailed it?
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Jun 4, 2023 15:59
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honda whisperer posted:I don't remember how old I was but I was a kid and making a bowl of cereal. I saw buttermilk in the fridge and thought "milks good, butters good, oh man that must be the best milk ever". It was not. Oh yeah I once tried to use half & half because we were out of milk and it was before the store opened - it was not good. I dumped out the whole bowl of honey nut cheerios and waited an hour to go get whole milk. lol. E: My husband had some kind of plant milk (most likely soy or oat or almond) and I just ignored it because I don't like it. My husband was a vegan before he met me - but with what I eat most everything has cheese in it - so I broke his veganism and now he is a vegetarian and eats cheese and eggs. But he still hates the taste of milk. been married to him for over 20 years, so if I want too cook meat I will wait until he is not home to cook bacon or whatever. nunsexmonkrock fucked around with this message at 11:13 on Jun 11, 2023 |
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Jun 11, 2023 11:05
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oops I was making pancakes and forgot to oil the pan with some vegetable oil or bacon fat even making with non-stick didn't work well. Well I atleast have some pan fried bacon - all is good I guess hahahaha! (I used different pans so they could be ready at the same time)
nunsexmonkrock fucked around with this message at 19:22 on Jun 17, 2023 |
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Jun 17, 2023 19:20
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Goddammit, this is like the FIFTH time I've put too much pepper in a dish. I accidentally bought some of that "restaurant-grade" cracked pepper instead of the fine ground I usually use, and every time, I think, "Ah, it's okay, I just have to use less of it!" And then I never do!  Now everything I cook with it ranges from, "God, that's peppery" to literally inedible.My mouth is on fire, and it's not even the fun capsaicin kind 
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Jun 18, 2023 00:11
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