NFC East 2023: Everyone's a Contender* (No, not really New York)

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Sports Argument Stadium > The Football Funhouse > NFC East 2023: Everyone's a Contender* (No, not really New York)

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Biggest disappointment of 2023?
	The Dallas Cowboys (gently caress 'em)
	The New York Giants
	The Philadephia Eagles
	The Washington Washingtons
	Myself for watching NFC East Clownball

[Edit Poll (moderators only)]

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euphronius: Feb 18, 2009

blarzgh posted:

did you see the cap hits for Hurts over the next 4 years.

# ? Apr 25, 2023 14:32

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# ? Apr 26, 2024 22:57

blarzgh: Apr 14, 2009; SNITCHIN' RANDY; Grimey Drawer

Mr. Nice! posted:

Micah Parsons can go one on one with some NBA players, I think. He�s the best baller on the Cowboys. He can beat anyone on the team 1 on 1.

I bet chase young could dunk on Kristaps

# ? Apr 25, 2023 14:54

blarzgh: Apr 14, 2009; SNITCHIN' RANDY; Grimey Drawer

euphronius posted:

did you see the cap hits for Hurts over the next 4 years.

No, I assume its low the next couple of years, with a big chunk converted to signing bonus, and then backloaded at way over AAV for the last three years. The contract narrative is all smoke and mirrors by ownership to suppress player money, anyway; they can always restructure/move money around to make room, extend or trade, eat money, etc..

# ? Apr 25, 2023 14:59

euphronius: Feb 18, 2009

Here they are

# ? Apr 25, 2023 15:02

euphronius: Feb 18, 2009

Cap numbers for a mystery QB

# ? Apr 25, 2023 15:03

Doltos: Dec 28, 2005; 🤌🤌🤌

blarzgh posted:

No, I assume its low the next couple of years, with a big chunk converted to signing bonus, and then backloaded at way over AAV for the last three years. The contract narrative is all smoke and mirrors by ownership to suppress player money, anyway; they can always restructure/move money around to make room, extend or trade, eat money, etc..

They can move it around and restructure but guaranteed is guaranteed. It's the real number to look at in contracts and not really a narrative to suppress player money since the NFLPA does that enough on their own front. More that owners don't have to hide it because the NFLPA is unbelievably weak/dumb/probably on the take from the owners.

Also if you retain a player at all the numbers will hit your team regardless of how much you shuffle which is what happened to the Saints.

# ? Apr 25, 2023 16:31

Impossibly Perfect Sphere: Nov 6, 2002; They wasted Luanne on Lucky!

She could of have been so much more but the writers just didn't care!

Edit: gently caress wrong thread.

Impossibly Perfect Sphere fucked around with this message at 18:12 on Apr 25, 2023

# ? Apr 25, 2023 17:58

predicto: Jul 22, 2004; THE DEM DEFENDER HAS LOGGED ON

I don't care if we go 1-16 this year, if Dan Snyder actually fucks off it's better than any Superbowl win

Hell. I don't care if we go 1-16 the next three years, that's how broken I am

# ? Apr 26, 2023 23:35

beep by grandpa: May 5, 2004

predicto posted:

I don't care if we go 1-16 this year, if Dan Snyder actually fucks off it's better than any Superbowl win

Hell. I don't care if we go 1-16 the next three years, that's how broken I am

and this is healing 🙏

# ? Apr 27, 2023 00:34

indigi: Jul 20, 2004; ^{how can we not talk about family

when family's all that we got?}

I think I�m rooting for the cowboys this season

# ? Apr 27, 2023 16:58

Chris James 2: Aug 9, 2012

indigi posted:

I think I�m rooting for the cowboys this season

# ? Apr 27, 2023 16:59

Shinjobi: Jul 10, 2008; Gravy Boat 2k

indigi posted:

I think I�m rooting for the cowboys this season

root for the heels, boo the faces

feels good

# ? Apr 27, 2023 17:25

predicto: Jul 22, 2004; THE DEM DEFENDER HAS LOGGED ON

indigi posted:

I think I�m rooting for the cowboys this season

you sick gently caress

# ? Apr 28, 2023 00:10

euphronius: Feb 18, 2009

indigi posted:

I think I�m rooting for the cowboys this season

It�s like rooting for Aramark

# ? Apr 28, 2023 00:21

indigi: Jul 20, 2004; ^{how can we not talk about family

when family's all that we got?}

euphronius posted:

It�s like rooting for Aramark

yeah

# ? Apr 28, 2023 01:19

Cartoon Man: Jan 31, 2004

Meet your new Washington Football team owner, this is probably going to be a done deal.

https://twitter.com/byajperez/status/1651696651105452032?s=20

It�s gonna be a long drat month.

# ? Apr 28, 2023 02:06

Cartoon Man: Jan 31, 2004

https://twitter.com/_JakeRussell/status/1387958337136963596?s=20

Every loving year.

# ? Apr 28, 2023 03:04

euphronius: Feb 18, 2009

Harris isn�t terrible

# ? Apr 28, 2023 03:05

Cartoon Man: Jan 31, 2004

euphronius posted:

Harris isn�t terrible

I�ve heard neutral things about him from Devils and 76ers fans. That already puts him lights years ahead of Snyder.

# ? Apr 28, 2023 03:10

euphronius: Feb 18, 2009

He spends money but sometimes makes bad decisions

I guess that is pretty good for an owner

# ? Apr 28, 2023 03:11

euphronius: Feb 18, 2009

You can expect him to not hire a good old boy as GM which can be good or bad.

I guess Lurie is a good comparison

# ? Apr 28, 2023 03:12

Cartoon Man: Jan 31, 2004

euphronius posted:

He spends money but sometimes makes bad decisions

I guess that is pretty good for an owner

Does he rape flight attendants on his private jet and make his cheerleaders strip naked for an island photo shoot?

# ? Apr 28, 2023 03:12

euphronius: Feb 18, 2009

Cartoon Man posted:

Does he rape flight attendants on his private jet and make his cheerleaders strip naked for an island photo shoot?

Hmm well don�t dig too deep I guess

# ? Apr 28, 2023 03:15

Asproigerosis: Mar 13, 2013; insufferable

I guess eagles are all in on most repugnant team build strategy

# ? Apr 28, 2023 04:05

Shinjobi: Jul 10, 2008; Gravy Boat 2k

Nice it's not the Cowboys for once

# ? Apr 28, 2023 04:42

Nissin Cup Nudist: Sep 3, 2011; Sleep with one eye open

We're off to Gritty Gritty land

All in on the Philadelphia Bulldogs baby

# ? Apr 28, 2023 04:52

Black Lighter: Sep 6, 2010; Just keep looking at what we're doing, keep watering and ask yourselves first and know 'Are you watering? And are you fertilizing every day?' So when it's time to pop, it'll pop.

lol

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# ? Apr 28, 2023 05:32

Doltos: Dec 28, 2005; 🤌🤌🤌

A+ for a guy who plays tentative and was arguably the least effective defender for the Bulldogs last year

# ? Apr 28, 2023 05:40

Shinjobi: Jul 10, 2008; Gravy Boat 2k

It sucks that the Eagles are going to be even better and still trade wins with the Cowboys when it's all said and done

Oh wait no actually it owns that nothing makes sense

# ? Apr 28, 2023 05:55

Asproigerosis: Mar 13, 2013; insufferable

Doltos posted:

A+ for a guy who plays tentative and was arguably the least effective defender for the Bulldogs last year

whats wrong big step bro, jelly??

# ? Apr 28, 2023 06:56

Toaster Beef: Jan 23, 2007; that's not nature's way

Shinjobi posted:

It sucks that the Eagles are going to be even better and still trade wins with the Cowboys when it's all said and done

Oh wait no actually it owns that nothing makes sense

god this is so accurate

# ? Apr 28, 2023 10:29

Armitage: Aug 16, 2005; "Mathman's not here." "Oh? Where is he?" "He's in the Mathroom."

gonna want the Eagles to stop being so good at drafting thank you very much.

I liked the Deonte Banks pick, just have to hope the Giants find themselves a playmaker at linebacker in round 2.

# ? Apr 28, 2023 13:22

Harlock: Jan 15, 2006; Tap "A" to drink!!!

https://twitter.com/BenjaminSolak/status/1651796169859936258?s=19

# ? Apr 28, 2023 13:40

blarzgh: Apr 14, 2009; SNITCHIN' RANDY; Grimey Drawer

https://twitter.com/SportsSturm/status/1642869209800507392?s=20

# ? Apr 28, 2023 14:23

indigi: Jul 20, 2004; ^{how can we not talk about family

when family's all that we got?}

looks like a pretty good pick by my Cowboys. should be able to develop better ball tracking skills in an already-solid rush defense

# ? Apr 28, 2023 15:02

Cartoon Man: Jan 31, 2004

Commanders pick Forbes:

https://twitter.com/DCzWall/status/1651771225218138117?s=20

Really hoping this translates to the NFL. He needs to gain about 15 pounds or so.

# ? Apr 28, 2023 17:21

shyduck: Oct 3, 2003

euphronius posted:

It’s like rooting for Aramark

This hits

# ? Apr 28, 2023 17:58

WaffleZombie: May 10, 2003; "Identity Crisis" Murderer Wild Guess #333:Prince "Lady Killer Charming "Well, I AM the Adversa"

The Eagles drafted a linebacker? In the first round?

I think that means the seventh seal has been broken. It was nice posting with you all, but the end times are now upon us. Repent you Cowboys fans!

# ? Apr 28, 2023 18:27

Black Lighter: Sep 6, 2010; Just keep looking at what we're doing, keep watering and ask yourselves first and know 'Are you watering? And are you fertilizing every day?' So when it's time to pop, it'll pop.

WaffleZombie posted:

The Eagles drafted a linebacker? In the first round?

I think that means the seventh seal has been broken. It was nice posting with you all, but the end times are now upon us. Repent you Cowboys fans!

He's not an off-ball linebacker, though. He's a pass rusher, which definitely lines up with the Eagles' history.

# ? Apr 28, 2023 18:31

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# ? Apr 26, 2024 22:57

Nervous: Jan 25, 2005; Why, hello, my little slice of pecan pie.

Harlock posted:

https://twitter.com/BenjaminSolak/status/1651796169859936258?s=19

Look at all those defenders drafted from a defense that is backed up against it's own goal line.

# ? Apr 28, 2023 18:34

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Sports Argument Stadium > The Football Funhouse > NFC East 2023: Everyone's a Contender* (No, not really New York)

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