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Far above the blessed Kingdom of Berestia, above the fragrant meadows of the Everwander Plains, there was a place known to all as the home of The Very Good Wizard. The Very Good Wizard puttered around his floating castle island, tending to the grass and trees on his very well manicured and well behaved grounds, and overall spent much of his life in quiet contemplation of the world far below.  But his greatest delight was in responding to the wishes of the wonderful people of Berestia, casting down golden boons from the sky. Standing in his Sanctum, he could hear the messages coming from far below, relayed aaaall the way up to the sky by his loyal flocks of Whisperflits and emerging from his Cauldron. Tending an ear to it now, he could hear their prayers burbling up from below.  THE PEOPLE’S REQUESTS posted:Well, people of Berestia, what ails you? Any problems in your communities? Bandit trouble? Days too hot? Not enough rain for your little farms far, far below? The Very Good Wizard is here to help! Please give one to three requests, no need to jostle for his attention, because he hears you!
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Jun 1, 2023 17:30
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| # ? Apr 25, 2024 10:37 |
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Little Jimmy fell into the Well of Screaming Souls, can you get him out?
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Jun 1, 2023 17:56
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The Very Bad Wizard is at it again, swearing at people and blighting turnips. Can you make them leave?
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Jun 1, 2023 18:17
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"I want money. Enough money to buy a house of my own. But none of that 'work' guff. Can you help me, VeeGeeDub?"
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Jun 2, 2023 18:42
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This is the King of Berestia speaking, my kingdom has been plague by a the Curse of Reverse Failure. Everything my people attempted to do will result in failure of opposite result, although we can make do by failing things on purpose to succeed some task, when it come to things of ethical nature, my Very Good hearted citizens simply can’t force themselves to commit Very Bad deed and ended up doing more evil as a result. In fact, I think by me successfully asking you for help might cause you to be infacted by the curse and cause your help to become failure of reverse result. Oh no!
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Jun 2, 2023 18:42
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Ey, Mr. Wizard sah? I's a foire elemental wots been put in charge of dis 'ere volcano, only 'buncha druid's gone an' corked it in the millenium iz' been dormant. Now all dis magma ain't got nowhere to let itself spread the lava, if you know what iz'aying? Pleas sah, 'elp me let luse some steam?
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Jun 2, 2023 18:46
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I seem to have been transformed into a gigantic beetle overnight. This is rather confusing, as I can't recall having done anything to upset any malign mages or wicked witches. While crawling all over the walls and ceiling is fun, it's somewhat difficult to function in society as a bug. Can you please change me back?
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Jun 2, 2023 19:13
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Very Good Wizard, I was having a beer with your archnemesis, the Barely Evil Fighter, and he told me he swindled you at poker the last time you met. How will you respond to this insult? Kind regards, Neutral Snitchin' Rogue
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Jun 2, 2023 19:40
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uh, Sir wizard? Its the forest whimsical creatures again, uh, sorry to bother you, but they've unionised. I'm just a common old lady helping lost kids going on metaphorical adventures about growing up and finding your place on the world, but the talking ravens and tricksy foxes and pretty nymphs have stopped providing mysterious directions, valuable tricks that teach lessons, and temptations to overcome as moments of character growth. I'm sympathetic to their plight, of course, but it's all over my paygrade. can you help them negotiate with the godmothers? something about the godmothers not giving enough days off or something. please hurry, the lost boys and brave girls are begining to pile up and my stipend for numerically significant days of food and shelter are begining to run out.
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Jun 2, 2023 19:46
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Mister Wizard, help! I want a spouse, like, REAL BAD but everyone in my podunk village is already taken!
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Jun 2, 2023 20:17
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Mr. Wizard, there’s this cabinet in my kitchen that won’t stay shut, and it’s right above the part of the counter that I use for food prep, so I keep banging my head on the corner of the door. It makes me really angry but being angry at an inanimate object makes me feel kind of stupid and doesn’t help anything. Could you fix this?
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Jun 2, 2023 20:35
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I wish I was a little bit taller, I wish I was a baller I wish I had a girl who looked good, I would call her I wish I had a rabbit in a hat with a bat And a six-four Impala
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Jun 2, 2023 21:08
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THE DRAGON SAYS THAT HE WANTS US KOBOLS TO WISH THAT SHE GETS A BIGGER HOARD SO WE ARE WISHING THAT SHE GETS A BIGGER HOARD PLEASE GIVE HER ONE MISTER WIZARD OR OUR MONTHLY SACRIFICE WILL NEED TO GO FROM A HAPPY-TO-WORSHIP-BY-FEEDING-HER-BELLY FIVE KOBOLDLINGS INTO AN UNACCEPTABLE 8 KOBOLDLINGS AND A SHAMAN
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Jun 2, 2023 21:29
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THE PEOPLE’S REQUESTS posted:... what ails you? Any problems in your communities? Bandit trouble? Days too hot? Not enough rain for your little farms far, far below? 'Ooooh, Good Mr. Wizard! Our thirsty farm community be troubled by incredibly hot bandits! Please solve this peasantly woe!' *snicker*
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Jun 2, 2023 21:44
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The Very Good Wizard listened carefully to the whispers coming from his Cauldron and not for the first time despaired. So many needy souls, so many trials and tribulations faced by the people down below. It was enough to make one weep! But he could dry their tears, yes he could! For he was the Very Good Wizard, and he had the power to change the world! He drew one wriggling secret wish from the Cauldron at random and listened.quote:Little Jimmy fell into the Well of Screaming Souls, can you get him out?  Cast The Spell: 1d4 3 He felt it leave him in a great rush of weariness and soar away, a great bubble of power falling from the sky to save that poor child… and now he must rest. He would take his potions, perhaps have a bath, and then… yawn… and then he would rest the rest of the just and kind. --- The Very Good Wizard tried his best. He really did. In the earliest days, the last King of Berestia granted the Wizard lands of his own in recompense for his services to the Crown, and the man had made it soar majestically away into the sky! Only… now it was tough to get word to him, should the Crown need further help. After some faffing about with hot air balloons, the Very Good Wizard had seen fit to grant the King a wondrous egg - the first of the Whisperflits, a conduit for the royal word right to the ear of the Wizard himself!  Only, something had gone awry. The Whisperflit had escaped, and by the time they found it there were… more. Soon, they begen to be outright pestilent! Each of them conveyed word to the Very Good Wizard, and awkwardly he began to answer requests from even less-than-noble personages! He made it rain, brought food to the hungry, ended banditry in the Everwander Plains… but never… properly. Flooding, mounds of rotting food, bandit camps blighted by insane petrificatory energies, each new Boon heaped new trials on Berestia.  And whenever people complained, the Whisperflits would relay their concerns to the Wizard himself, causing even more problems! But he tried his best. And so the last King of Berestia has charged you, the Royal Troubleshooters, to mitigate the worst of these disasters and just sort of… smooth out any issues that cropped up in the course of his Boon-granting. It was the least you could do, for his services to the Crown. And the pay was excellent. It sort of had to be. THE ROYAL TROUBLESHOOTERS posted:The Very Good Wizard is a game of trying to fix stuff broken while trying to fix stuff. Each of you will be working together to attempt to solve problems caused by the Wizard’s lack of foresight without dying or getting horribly mutated or something. Dog Kisser fucked around with this message at 21:58 on Jun 2, 2023 |
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Jun 2, 2023 21:52
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Theantero posted:Kind regards, I'm The Neutral Snitchin' Rogue, an old Rogue from the OG adventuring party between himself, The Barely Evil Fighter and The Very Good Wizard until they split apart because of the latter's soaring prestige compared to his old pals (causing a somewhat one-sided archrivalry between the Wizard and the Fighter). I know snitchin' and filchin' and am of eminently Neutral alignment. Prayer: I heard the local bandits are assaulting tax collectors to give away the crown's taxes to the poor. I have no moral opinions about this one way or another, but it seems like something I thought you should know. Kind regards, Neutral Snitchin' Rogue
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Jun 2, 2023 22:11
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My name is Jone, I got hit by a truck but failed to isekai. ---------------------------- The truck driver made a prayer, hoping his assassination can succeed.
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Jun 2, 2023 22:12
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Name's Hood, on account of wearing a hood, and I'm all about dealing with the anomalies of this world, those weird, curious anomalies that are all around us, just waiting to be found, acknowledged, understood intimately. Request: Mr. Very Good Wizard, there's a weird new hatch in the basement of my humble farmhouse, and the color glowing underneath it is very weird. Can you please get rid of it?
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Jun 2, 2023 22:26
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My name is Gregoria, and I asked the Very Good Wizard for help after I was inexplicably turned into a giant beetle... he hasn't gotten around to it yet, but I guess he's a pretty busy guy. Maybe if I help him out with some of these requests, he'll have time to help me? --- Somewhere else, a fervent prayer rose: My neighbor keeps holding really loud parties. There's always music and carousing deep into the night, things get loud enough to make it impossible for a person to get any sleep, and I'm never even invited! Can you lend a hand?
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Jun 2, 2023 22:34
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I'm Slingbring the Davi, a blingy slingy and bringy-er of doom to all things giant and/or wicked! - and also a fairy, so 'giant' is arguable and I'm totally just in it for the shines, but hey, TROUBLESHOOTING COMMENCING IN WHEEEE WHOOOO WHOOONE (You wouldn't believe how hard you can shoot with a sling if you can flyspin! Makes you reeeeal dizzy though! But that's part of the fun!) Request: Someone get these dang fey creatures off of my land! They's keep holding tea parties and I think they've kidnapped my brother's wife's horse to waiter 'em!
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Jun 2, 2023 22:45
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My name is Markus, and I'm a top notch janitor! I've yet to meet a mess I cannot clean! - - - Augh! Won't someone help me get my hand unstuck from this jar?
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Jun 2, 2023 23:02
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I'm Swancy the public relations gnoll and I make sure the kings reputation is spotless, see? I'm who they call in when the bard's cant spin their yarns fast enough, and some kneecaps need getting taken out before they go around sayin' stuff what ain't and couldnain't be true, on account of the Very Good Wizard being Very Good if you know whats good for ya. -- Help! Help! I forgot to bring an apple to school for my teacher misses Belle, and if she doesn't get her apple the physician might pay us a visit and we don't want none of that!
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Jun 2, 2023 23:06
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THIS ONE IS SNALZKRAK THE KOBOLD DRUID I KEEPS THE DRAGON ON THE MOUNTAIN IN LINE BY FEEDING IT KOBOLDS AND HOARDS OF ITEMS TAKEN FROM ADVENTURERS AND PASSERBYS BECAUSE A FEW DEAD MERCHANTS IS BETTER THAN A CASTLE BEING BURNED TO THE GROUND BY BIG DRAGON YES ------ Oh Very Good Wizard, Please Ensure That I Get Good Tips Tonight While I Work At The Tavern ---Love, A Barmaid
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Jun 2, 2023 23:14
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My name is Pollox the Hammer. Hi. I'm a minotaur smith living at the base of a small mountain settlement chiefly among my own kind. In my life I've killed a brigand, a bandit, and a thief - all of them humans, all of them desperate for coin and taking a risk on how quickly I can move in close quarters, and always while I'm making a shipment in human settlements abroad. Their deaths were thankfully swift but unwelcome nonetheless, and I've found the local township authorities to be less-than helpful at best with outsiders like me when it comes to reporting the incidents. My request is: How do I catch the fancy of Izwolda, or any of the other fair tavern wenches out there for that matter? I am gentle and slow in my cups but I fear I lack certain, uh, social graces, to deal with human lasses, and my broad back and shoulders and horns can be intimidating. I was told bathing could help? But I cannot swim. I suppose I could use a romantic advisor, at least!
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Jun 3, 2023 02:23
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Name: Cedric Songcaller A veteran Bard whose glory days are behind him; he ventures out into the world to escape the grief of the passing of his wife. - - - A slimy, dark voice echoes from within a dank cavern: “The secret Candle of Silence at the heart of the Tomb of Dakarrna must be lit so that I may regain my former power.”
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Jun 3, 2023 03:15
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I'm Sir Lucas Moonflower, a werewolf knight-errant who travels the land, righting wrongs and doing good. I've got a good sword arm and animal instincts, but people tend to react poorly to my face. The King knows I'm good, thankfully, and rigged me up a proper knightly helmet that both fits, still makes me look wolf-y but covers my actual wolf face so people don't scream at me. ----------------------------------------- "Very Good Wizard! A storm blew up sleeping pollen from a nearby flower field, and only us children are immune to it. All of the adults are asleep! Please, wake them and protect us from this! -Howard, 13 years old"
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Jun 3, 2023 06:13
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I am Sir Gandrazz the Knight of Style, an unstoppable force of kilowatt grinning and dazzling weapon expertise who not only shoots trouble but does so with effortless ease. ---- Request: The grains of sand on this beach need counting! AJ_Impy fucked around with this message at 14:45 on Jun 3, 2023 |
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Jun 3, 2023 07:22
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Bubba B. Benson, plumber. Used to be a man could make 'imself a pretty penny unclogging drains and installin' johns, but ever since numskulls started asking that tar-brained wizard up thar on that island to flush out their problems, the nature of the job's changed. Ah just hope ah don't get any calls today 'bout someone's toilet comin' alive and swallowin' them whole. --- Prayer: "Help! My toilet came alive and swallowed me whole!"
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Jun 3, 2023 11:09
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I am Twice-Baked, the Doppelganger. Whenever the troubleshooters need a second, well, anybody. I'm their folk. Though honestly I'd rather just be sampling people's favorite foods with their own copied tastebuds. What? Is that weird? - - - Prayer: My party is this weekend, and it's just going to be all sun all day. Can you please make an eclipse during the brunch hours to cool things down and add some atmosphere? You're the best! <3
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Jun 3, 2023 18:48
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"Studying this magic stuff is really hard. I wish I was smarter, so I could absorb this magic more easily. Then I'd be able to help people, like the Good Wizard is supposed to, if he wasn't so incompetent and stupid."
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Jun 6, 2023 04:21
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I'm Gruff. I'm what the no-good kids these days would term a crotchety old man; but I suppose over the course of my long, long life I've done a bit of dabbling here and there. If something ails someone, I reckon I probably know a thing or two that might help.Scribbleykins posted:Request: Gruff, sitting on his porch, looks a pasture over near the edge of the forest and in a gruff, worn voice yells: "Oi, you fey creatures! Get off that dang-nab fairy's land!" Wow, that voice projects. ---------------------------------------------------- Oi, Very Good Wizard. Someone needs to teach the youth of the town of Blerkint some proper professions afore they all become wastrels, layabouts, or scoundrels!
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Jun 6, 2023 13:01
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Far below and far north of the Island Castle lies the Well of Screaming Souls. It cracked open many years back, before even the Very Good Wizard entered the scene, and it had been trouble ever since. It was also of minor concern compared to the assorted other monster incursions and natural disasters that plagued Berestia, and kept well enough alone if no one bothered it. Just… ignore the crevasse with the screaming and the ghostly wails beyond the barriers, they said. But children ignored such wisdom from their elders, and one such child was beyond all aid but the Very Good Wizard’s. And just in time, it came. The Spell sank into the Well and surrounded the frightened form of Little Jimmy. It caressed him lightly, and lifted him to the surface. He fled in terror back to his parents. And that’s when the trouble started.  The powerful Spell kept lifting, bringing chunks of the subterranean earth skyward, slowly but surely pulling the Well… inside out. The Mound of Screaming Souls began to pour its curse outward, releasing scores of ghostly phantasms and blindly toiling earth elementals to ravage the countryside. Wearily, the villagers called for The Royal Troubleshooters. -o- In Capital Berestia, Highshooter McGavin gathered his troops. It was impossible to know what lay behind his placid, golden face - relic of a much earlier Twist - but his voice sounded resigned. “Listen up, ladies and gentlemen. Scriers have informed us of a Spell out in the boonies. Tier 3 Environmental Twist with Incidental Spectral Emission due to pre-existing conditions. The Well of Screaming Souls got hit.” A chorus of groans greeted his words, and he waited until they passed. “Now you lot are new, but you’ve passed the Academy, so you’ll do just fine. I don’t care where you come from or what you were before, but you’re all Troubleshooters now, so take pride in that. Your assignments are on the docket - do your best, and work with your companions, and you’ll come out of this alive.” But not necessarily unchanged, was the unspoken coda. The Royal Troubleshooters saluted. THE ROYAL TROUBLESHOOTERS posted:ASSIGNMENT BOARD posted:Each of you, pick a job from the board below and roll 1d6. On a 1, you’ll get Twisted. On a 6, you’ll get a Boon. Try to roll high. You, as a group, need to beat the target for each job. Complete them all, and you’ll successfully complete today’s VGW Duty. Fail, and some other stuff will happen! Dog Kisser fucked around with this message at 15:45 on Jun 8, 2023 |
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Jun 6, 2023 17:52
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Jone holds his stomach “oucch~~ohh i think i will take a sick diarrea day, maybe next time, where’s the bathroom again?”
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Jun 6, 2023 18:01
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 Slingbring flitted about dodging a few wraiths and found themselves far too high for those dirty elementals to touch as they surveyed the chaos below. Cheerily, they decided to start Re-burying the Well of Screaming Souls - one spun, slung or flung rock at a time! Or possibly one rock flung into another rock, causing a rockslide, at a time. Fey luck and fancy was like that. Whatever would work out in the end! "Whheeeheheheeee! Can't catch me, ghostie!" Time would tell whether that held true. Re-burying the Well of Screaming Souls: 1d6 3
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Jun 6, 2023 18:05
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 SNALZKRAK NEEDS RETURN TO DRAGON FAST BEFORE DRAGON EATS SNALZKRAK CONSORT FIR SNACK. SNALZKRAK DIG NEW HOLE WITH CLAWS, SHOULD DO VERY GOOD WORK Rebury Well: 1d6 2
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Jun 6, 2023 18:05
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 The Neutral Snitchin' Rogue Guess it was only a matter of time until the Stitchers finally caught up to him. And now he's stuck on Troubleshooter duty as community service. His Academy Credentials, in true Rogue fashion, were obviously forged for some earlier heist. Was this Karma? He didn't think his balance was that bad, all things considered... These were the thoughts The Neutral Snitchin' Rogue busied himself with as he peered down on a rampaging elemental from his ambush spot on a hillock. Now, it was Common Rogue Knowledge that Elementals were immune to Sneak Attack, but The Neutral Snitchin' Rogue had always wondered if that was actually true, or just because the weapons they brought lacked proper caliber. He removed the camo netting from the ballista he had had hauled to his spot last night by local daytalers, and took careful aim at the thing's backside. Only one way to find out. Squash the Elementals: 1d6 6 Boon! ------ Prayer: Oh and by the way, one of the daytalers I employed was complaining that the local Innkeeper keeps watering down his ale because he's a scamming cheapskate. Just thought you should know. Kind regards, Neutral Snitchin' Rogue
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Jun 6, 2023 18:14
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 First time on the job, and already Hood had landed in a gold mine. There were anomalies afoot. Fascinating, interesting anomalies stirred up all about, frolicking and being unusual. This place was a hotbed of the unusual, another truly wondrous scenario that could only come about from its specific circumstances. Oh, where to start? Better not to overextend. Hood's primary focus soon settled on wrangling the ghosts that needed to be kindly shown back to where they came from. Ghosts were good for a chat, really, though these seemed to be of the particularly screamy kind. It was no business of Hood's what volume they were at for a chat, but it was still quite loud. A little investigatory action surely couldn't hurt while getting them nice and rounded up. These were the first steps towards understanding, after all. Wrangle The Ghosts: 1d6 5
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Jun 6, 2023 18:34
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 Lucas gripped his sword as he thrust forward at an earth elemental. "Begone!" He shouted. Squash the Elementals: 1d6 2 ---------------------------- Prayer: "I have no idea how I'm supposed to finish this book! URGH! I wish my writer's block would disappear."
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Jun 6, 2023 18:41
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Twice-Baked follows the narc's excellent lead. Squash the Elementals: 1d6 5
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Jun 6, 2023 19:18
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 Oh boy! My first mission! Gregoria rubbed her topmost set of limbs together, full of anxious excitement. She didn't like to think of some of the side-effects of her transformation too much, but sometimes she got these... feelings. Beetle instincts, perhaps. Impulses that told her that she really ought to be in the dirt right now, digging a tunnel. Well, may as well put those feelings to good use. Maybe moving some dirt around would make those beetle instincts chill out a bit. Rolling to re-bury the Well of Screaming Souls - 1d6: 6(!) PepperedMoth fucked around with this message at 19:53 on Jun 6, 2023 |
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Jun 6, 2023 19:37
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