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Richard Cabeza
Mar 1, 2005

What a dickhead...
When renting a car, don't worry about traffic signs. We don't.

Can't speak English? Neither can we.

You can still escape by crossing the Rio Grande or to Canada in the north.

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SRQ
Nov 9, 2009

what is the polite amount of guns to have on my person

Richard Cabeza
Mar 1, 2005

What a dickhead...

SRQ posted:

what is the polite amount of guns to have on my person

It really depends on how much ammo you have, but as always…sharing is caring.

Justin Godscock
Oct 12, 2004

Listen here, funnyman!
Make sure to talk politics to everyone you meet they will sure appreciate it!

EoinCannon
Aug 29, 2008

Grimey Drawer
What is the timetable of it becoming great again? I don't want to make the trip and find out that it's not great and then like 6 months later it's great and I could have waited a bit longer

flubber nuts
Oct 5, 2005


you can get shot to death by a friend, stranger, or law enforcement officer at any second.

Szyznyk
Mar 4, 2008

Burgers, malt liquor, and Basic 305s.

Jabberlock
Nov 29, 2014



EoinCannon posted:

What is the timetable of it becoming great again? I don't want to make the trip and find out that it's not great and then like 6 months later it's great and I could have waited a bit longer

It's fine because america is simultaneously great already but also needs to be made great again

Devils Affricate
Jan 22, 2010
Don't do the weird Italian kiss greeting, that's how you challenge someone to a duel here

Failson
Sep 2, 2018
Fun Shoe
Don't visit during chupacabra season.

Buce
Dec 23, 2005

many americans believe a dude named god created the hwole universe and then sent his (white) son down to earth, or something along those lines. long story short, try not to be gay or a woman.

neato burrito
Aug 25, 2002

bitch better have my chex mix

If you need guns and / or ammo there is always a 24 hour Walmart within walking distance.

clean ayers act
Aug 13, 2007

How do I shot puck!?

neato burrito posted:

If you need guns and / or ammo there is always a 24 hour Walmart within walking distance.

this person is a fraud op, you cant walk anywhere in the united states, especially not walmart

Smugworth
Apr 18, 2003

Why is it called chicken fried steak but it's made of beef

R.L. Stine
Oct 19, 2007

welcome to dead gay house
american schools still practice ritualistic human sacrifice

Konar
Dec 14, 2006

Certified 1993 Toyota Previa Passenger
Don't even consider talking to your neighbors

Bad Purchase
Jun 17, 2019




do not look a spree shooter or an SUV in the eyes and you’ll be fine

Waste of Breath
Dec 30, 2021

I only know🧠 one1️⃣ thing🪨: I😡 want😤 to 🔪kill☠️… 😈Chaos😱… I need🥵 to. [TIME⏰ TO DIE☠️]
:same:

Smugworth posted:

Why is it called chicken fried steak but it's made of beef

A dilemma my Indian friend found out the tasty way (now he eats beef and doesn't care)

bossy lady
Jul 9, 1983

It's considered polite to fart loudly after dinner.

AARD VARKMAN
May 17, 1993

flubber nuts posted:

you can get shot to death by a friend, stranger, or law enforcement officer at any second.

dont forget toddlers, they can shoot you too

Buce
Dec 23, 2005

captain planet's protection does not extend to the US, so if you encounter any looters or polluters, you'll have to engage them on your own.

AARD VARKMAN
May 17, 1993
remember to tip your flight attendants, and every employee in the airport

redshirt
Aug 11, 2007

Reporting for away mission Sir.
Gain 30 pounds before you arrive so you can blend in.

flubber nuts
Oct 5, 2005


hOpe you like corn BITHC

Devils Affricate
Jan 22, 2010
If you walk in the roads you're free game and can be legally run over

Also goes for biking, or just driving too small of a car

Also sometimes applies to the sidewalk too

numberoneposter
Feb 19, 2014

How much do I cum? The answer might surprise you!

whatever you do, DONT make a mess in texas

Bad Purchase
Jun 17, 2019




we really like our novelty t-shirts here, and it's generally expected that tourists will bring their own or buy some at an airport kiosk before venturing into the city

Devils Affricate
Jan 22, 2010
No free pretzels in most public restrooms, plan accordingly

flubber nuts
Oct 5, 2005


most public bathrooms only have bacterial infection vectors to dry your hands with, so be sure to bring your own towel when out and about.

Colonel Cancer
Sep 26, 2015

Tune into the fireplace channel, you absolute buffoon
Lemme tell you about admiralty law...

GetDunked
Dec 16, 2011

respectfully
It's considered rude to leave a public restroom as clean or cleaner than you found it. Get creative!

Mudlark
Nov 10, 2009
eat the gas station potato salad, it's great

Earwicker
Jan 6, 2003

the best hot dogs are the ones that have been sitting on rollers in the gas station for a minimum of two days. just like fine european wines, there is a necessary aging process.

satanic splash-back
Jan 28, 2009

It's pretty rude to leave strangers with only one side of the conversation; use the speakerphone in public, proudly.

Earwicker
Jan 6, 2003

if you are on a road trip but aren't in a particular rush, get in the left lane and just cruise for a while - that's what it's for. also, help out with road safety by matching speeds with someone next to you and making sure no danger drivers get to pass you.

Devils Affricate
Jan 22, 2010
If you're flying in from Japan you can exchange your katana for a glock at customs

SRQ
Nov 9, 2009

what amount of gloating for having a functional health care system is allowed.

Colonel Cancer
Sep 26, 2015

Tune into the fireplace channel, you absolute buffoon
Consider a safer destination like Leng or Carcosa

Devils Affricate
Jan 22, 2010

SRQ posted:

what amount of gloating for having a functional health care system is allowed.

Any amount of gloating will probably just confuse people. Our lack of proper healthcare is generally considered a matter of pride here.

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The Bible
May 8, 2010

flubber nuts posted:

you can get shot to death by a friend, stranger, or law enforcement officer at any second.

Toddlers, too.

Edit: Beaten like a toddler in America

The Bible fucked around with this message at 00:23 on Sep 21, 2023

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