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Mescal
Jul 23, 2005

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dumuzid



WAP:

quote:

My vulva, the horn,
The Boat of Heaven,
Is full of eagerness like the young moon.
My untilled land lies fallow.
As for me, Inanna,
Who will plow my vulva?
Who will plow my high field?
Who will plow my wet ground?
As for me, the young woman,
Who will plow my vulva?
Who will station the ox there?
Who will plow my vulva?[38]
...
Make your milk sweet and thick, my bridegroom.
My shepherd, I will drink your fresh milk.
Wild bull, Dumuzi, make your milk sweet and thick.
I will drink your fresh milk.
Let the milk of the goat flow in my sheepfold.
Fill my holy churn with honey cheese.
Lord Dumuzi, I will drink your fresh milk.[39]


I find this v charming

quote:

Dumuzid had virtually no power outside of his distinct realm of responsibilities.[20] Very few prayers addressed to him are extant[21] and, of those that are, almost all of them are simply requests for him to provide more milk, more grain, more cattle, etc.[21] The sole exception to this rule is a single Assyrian inscription in which a man requests Tammuz that, when he descends to the Underworld, he should take with him a troublesome ghost who has been haunting him.[22]

Mescal fucked around with this message at 03:44 on Sep 23, 2023

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Mescal
Jul 23, 2005

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Inanna#Descent_into_the_underworld



Now look at this vase of Inanna. That's got to be a modern forgery, right? There's no way that's 2nd millennium BCE. Come on.

MrQwerty
Apr 15, 2003




I have a tip on some good, high-quality, cheap copper

Mescal
Jul 23, 2005

MrQwerty posted:

I have a tip on some good, high-quality, cheap copper

What do you think about the idea that Ea-Nasir was a cognate of Ebenezer? I don't buy that "stone of help" etymology for a second. My second hypothesis is that it might have to do with a proto-afrasian root hnzr for pig.

verbal enema
May 23, 2009

onlymarfans.com
drat I'm getting all boned up over here

BAGS FLY AT NOON
Apr 6, 2011

Hell yeah tuggin the olí copper rod to that poem, bout to bust some of that fresh honey cheese

Milo and POTUS
Sep 3, 2017

I will not shut up about the Mighty Morphin Power Rangers. I talk about them all the time and work them into every conversation I have. I built a shrine in my room for the yellow one who died because sadly no one noticed because she died around 9/11. Wanna see it?
inanna needs to cool off god drat

Mescal
Jul 23, 2005

LMAO before his makeover when he was called Tammuz. 90-lb noodle. here he is dying and resurrecting with the seasons.



Mescal
Jul 23, 2005

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QC8g_26f0qE

There are a few not-well-supported statements in this but overall it's a high quality video

BeastOfTheEdelwood
Feb 27, 2023

Led through the mist, by the milk-light of moon, all that was lost is revealed.
Still waiting on them to make a big-budget Gilgamesh movie.

BeastOfTheEdelwood
Feb 27, 2023

Led through the mist, by the milk-light of moon, all that was lost is revealed.
I was hanging with my buddy Enkidu the other day, and, well, one thing led to another and we started touching each other's Nergals.

MrQwerty
Apr 15, 2003




BeastOfTheEdelwood posted:

I was hanging with my buddy Enkidu the other day, and, well, one thing led to another and we started touching each other's Nergals.

Mardukbless u

Milo and POTUS
Sep 3, 2017

I will not shut up about the Mighty Morphin Power Rangers. I talk about them all the time and work them into every conversation I have. I built a shrine in my room for the yellow one who died because sadly no one noticed because she died around 9/11. Wanna see it?
did innana ever station the ox

MrQwerty
Apr 15, 2003




Y'all ever hear the one about the dog that walks into a tavern?

Mescal
Jul 23, 2005


From a comparative lexicon of ugaritic and canaanite.




This Dr loves drugs

Milo and POTUS
Sep 3, 2017

I will not shut up about the Mighty Morphin Power Rangers. I talk about them all the time and work them into every conversation I have. I built a shrine in my room for the yellow one who died because sadly no one noticed because she died around 9/11. Wanna see it?
Hell, same

I. M. Gei
Jun 26, 2005



I haven't read up on the ancient Babylonian/Sumerian gods in awhile, but weren't just about all of them pretty much universally feared more than they were actually respected or worshipped out of genuine reverence, with Tammuz/Dumuzid (who I think was associated with the moon and had a whole month-long "festival" dedicated to him "dying" or going to the underworld for awhile or some poo poo every year around July, iirc) being pretty much the sole exception?

Mescal
Jul 23, 2005

I. M. Gei posted:

I haven't read up on the ancient Babylonian/Sumerian gods in awhile, but weren't just about all of them pretty much universally feared more than they were actually respected or worshipped out of genuine reverence

"Fearing the gods" is a bit literal, but mostly an expression for piety. People feared starving and dying without issue. They implored the gods to help prevent such things. [1 Did God Have a Wife?]




(They're talking about their own hypothesis)

Mr Luxury Yacht
Apr 16, 2012


I. M. Gei posted:

I haven't read up on the ancient Babylonian/Sumerian gods in awhile, but weren't just about all of them pretty much universally feared more than they were actually respected or worshipped out of genuine reverence, with Tammuz/Dumuzid (who I think was associated with the moon and had a whole month-long "festival" dedicated to him "dying" or going to the underworld for awhile or some poo poo every year around July, iirc) being pretty much the sole exception?

It's easy to fear the Babylonian gods when Marduk is running around casting d20 lightning bolt spells per turn.

Mescal
Jul 23, 2005

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Centaur_of_Vulci#/media/File:Centaure_de_Vulci.JPG



Etruscan, but okay. This might answer an old question about centaurs: do they have two penises? To an Etruscan around the 600s BCE, it would've seemed like bad luck to portray this Apollo-haired boye without a phallus. It would've seemed like an anti-good luck charm.


Dickbutt ejaculating (?) on an evil eye on which a scorpion sits

-

This photographer has some great ANE art from Israeli museums and stuff.




I still want to see a reference that Asherah has a dove association. "Did God Have a Wife?" By Wm Dever 2005 says so once without reference. "A reassessment of Asherah" by Wiggins 2007 has only one epigraph mentioning a dove, and it's in relation to El, though she (Athirat, if you want to consider that the same goddess) is present. I think it's more likely the bird is a scout like Noah's birds.*

*Genesis 8:6-12. In this narrative, Noah first sends out a raven, which keeps flying back and forth until the waters have dried up. He then sends out a dove three times.

The birds eyes seem to point emphasize its vision, so perhaps this dove (?) is like Kassandra's avian companion Irakos in Assassins Creed: Greece: it would fill Asherah's knowledge of landmarks and special quests.


https://www.flickr.com/photos/pelegrino/49070300493/in/photostream/



This pic shows how gorgeously mannered the Ugaritic writing style is! It's a heartbreaker:
NOTE: RIGHT-TO-LEFT.

Swoon! Sound these out (really, try it) and you'll see how the alphabet matches the phonology; it's brilliant. I think one person or a small group designed it; the auth of Gun, Germs, Steel agrees with me. Or maybe it was somebody with a name similar to his.




But compare this to the first one; it's got a similar fractal feeling. The banana-ish shapes are how the date palm is usually shown. The first picture is a variation on how the date palm's usually shown. There's a less-flat depiction with a blobbier version of what's on the Saudi emblem. She looks like she's got bear's legs but they're lions'. She's often depicted standing on or flanked by two lions; here they're collapsed into her actual legs. It's an iconographic phase change.

But why are we interested in that birdish, buglike goddess? She's the handle attachment to a large vessel!*

*"a reassessment of asherah" pg 77 of pdf. pg 51 of document. a divine bowl with a handle "like/of" (-k) AMR. what's AMR?!

In the song of deborah there's a reference to a "lordly bowl," too. That's the source of the interest.

quote:

He asked water, she gave milk; she brought cream cheese* in a sefel of the (rich/divine.)
She stretched for the peg, her right hand to the hammer, and she bashed his head in. She hammered him--bam!--his temples were crushed.
He fell betwixt her legs, slumping down, betwixt knees, and falling, betwixt feet, ravaged.

*Many variants possible

I just got a big headache so I'm gonna post now

look at this picture
https://www.flickr.com/photos/pelegrino/49070827891/

Mescal fucked around with this message at 02:53 on Oct 7, 2023

Mescal
Jul 23, 2005

Also Dumb Academic Bullshit thread:



THIS IS OUR ONLY PHILISTINE PENIS. IT MUST BE A PENIS, OR WE'LL HAVE ZERO PHILISTINE PHALLUSES.

Edit: the Philistines were famously uncircumcised, so they have to talk about that when discussing this rock.

Mescal fucked around with this message at 00:37 on Oct 7, 2023

Tree Bucket
Apr 1, 2016

R.I.P.idura leucophrys

Mescal posted:

Swoon! Sound these out (really, try it) and you'll see how the orthography matches the phonology; it's brilliant.

What do you mean exactly? Spell it out more for me, a dullard.
(It does look great, though!)

Milo and POTUS
Sep 3, 2017

I will not shut up about the Mighty Morphin Power Rangers. I talk about them all the time and work them into every conversation I have. I built a shrine in my room for the yellow one who died because sadly no one noticed because she died around 9/11. Wanna see it?
(phallus?)

Rascallion
Feb 10, 2014
Earliest civilization is nothing but dick cults.

Mescal
Jul 23, 2005

Tree Bucket posted:

What do you mean exactly? Spell it out more for me, a dullard.
(It does look great, though!)

I'm sorry, I probably shouldn't have said orthography, rather abjad. It goes the other way, right to left, and the quality of forward movement matters. The easiest way to spot is is probably by seeing how all the silibants have the same general shape. The general shape is how the author sees your tongue against your palate, and the additions to a less adorned shape seem to have been thought through on array. s is a reasonable diagram of how your mouth makes the letter. when viewed in that light, sh makes sense as a variant diagram or the other way around.


I completely fail to see how this figure is meant to be grasping its dick and balls.

Mescal fucked around with this message at 04:06 on Oct 7, 2023

Chinatown
Sep 11, 2001
Probation
Can't post for 30 hours!
Fun Shoe
big ancient tibbies

Mescal
Jul 23, 2005

Mescal posted:

Also Dumb Academic Bullshit thread:




Henry Lee Mucus
Dec 11, 2003

Itís great that ancient civilizations were just as stupid as the one we live in right now

Dead Sex-Parrot
Dec 24, 2020
I forgot where I got it, but here's a stone carving of a vomiting lion.

Powerful Katrinka
Oct 11, 2021

an admin fat fingered a permaban and all i got was this lousy av

Henry Lee Mucus posted:

It’s great that ancient civilizations were just as stupid as the one we live in right now

That's honestly one of my favorite things about humanity. It's especially exciting as we go further and further back in time to prehistory, and we see that ancient people were brilliant, creative, and innovative, and also liked fart jokes and drawing dicks on stuff

zone
Dec 6, 2016

MrQwerty posted:

I have a tip on some good, high-quality, cheap copper

Buce
Dec 23, 2005

you can find me hooking down by the ishtar gate, most nights

zone
Dec 6, 2016
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7IYYhoO-hiY
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=htARnZjxQGs
Ancient Babylonian cooking, or an interpretation of it

Milo and POTUS
Sep 3, 2017

I will not shut up about the Mighty Morphin Power Rangers. I talk about them all the time and work them into every conversation I have. I built a shrine in my room for the yellow one who died because sadly no one noticed because she died around 9/11. Wanna see it?

Dumb Sex-Parrot posted:

I forgot where I got it, but here's a stone carving of a vomiting lion.



:neckbeard: wow he's just like my cat

Buce
Dec 23, 2005

tasting history is so goddamn good

Darth Brooks
Jan 15, 2005

I do not wear this mask to protect me. I wear it to protect you from me.

Dumb Sex-Parrot posted:

I forgot where I got it, but here's a stone carving of a vomiting lion.



It looks like he was hit with a spear and might be vomiting blood. Anyways, he's dead.

Zedhe Khoja
Nov 10, 2017

sürgünden selamlar
yıkıcılar ulusuna

Buce posted:

tasting history is so goddamn good

his brain ceased functioning when he was making kykeon for some reason, but pretty much everything else has been pretty great to watch, even if the dish itself was of questionable culinary value.

but really i don't know how he looked at what he made and came to the conclusion it resembled anything anybody had ever willingly ate ever, in any society

Tree Bucket
Apr 1, 2016

R.I.P.idura leucophrys

Darth Brooks posted:

It looks like he was hit with a spear and might be vomiting blood. Anyways, he's dead.

Hmm. Copyright 700 BCE. Mighty as unto Lamassu or not, that cat must be long dead.

Teriyaki Hairpiece
Dec 29, 2006

I'm nae the voice o' the darkened thistle, but th' darkened thistle cannae bear the sight o' our Bonnie Prince Bernie nae mair.

The Code of the Nesilim posted:

187. If a man have intercourse with a cow, it is a capital crime, he shall die. They shall lead him to the king's hall. But the king may kill him, the king may grant him his life. But he shall not approach the king.

188. If a man have intercourse with his own mother, it is a capital crime, he shall die. If a man have intercourse with a daughter, it is a capital crime, he shall die. If a man have intercourse with a son, it is a capital crime, he shall die.

190. If a man and a woman come willingly, as men and women, and have intercourse, there shall be no punishment. And if a man have intercourse with his stepmother, there shall be no punishment; except if his father is living, it is a capital crime, the son shall die.

191. If a free man picks up now this woman, now that one, now in this country, then in that country, there shall be no punishment if they came together sexually willingly.

192. If the husband of a woman die, his wife may take her husband's patrimony.

194. If a free man pick up female slaves, now one, now another, there is no punishment for intercourse. If brothers sleep with a free woman, together, or one after the other, there is no punishment. If father and son sleep with a female slave or harlot, together, or one after the other, there is no punishment.

195. If a man sleep with the wife of his brother, while his brother is living, it is a capital crime, he shall die. If a man have taken a free woman, then have intercourse also with her daughter, it is a capital crime, he shall die. If he have taken her daughter, then have intercourse with her mother or her sister, it is a capital crime, he shall die.

197. If a man rape a woman in the mountain, it is the man's wrong, he shall die. But if he rape her in the house, it is the woman's fault, the woman shall die. If the husband find them and then kill them, there is no punishing the husband.

199. If anyone have intercourse with a pig or a dog, he shall die. If a man have intercourse with a horse or a mule, there is no punishment. But he shall not approach the king, and shall not become a priest. If an ox spring upon a man for intercourse, the ox shall die but the man shall not die. One sheep shall be fetched as a substitute for the man, and they shall kill it. If a pig spring upon a man for intercourse, there is no punishment. If any man have intercourse with a foreign woman and pick up this one, now that one, there is no punishment.

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Inexplicable Humblebrag
Sep 20, 2003

finally... FAQs on what to do when you get sodomised by your own livestock...

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