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According to my wife it’s “she won me in a farting contest” If anyone knows of a worse one, don’t be shy. You could really help me out of some trouble.
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Sep 27, 2023 02:39
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| # ? Dec 2, 2023 08:23 |
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"she won me in a farting contest, 2nd place"
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Sep 27, 2023 02:40
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It's a greencard marriage, don't tell the feds.
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Sep 27, 2023 02:41
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Picked her up at the airport 2 weeks after the cheque cleared
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Sep 27, 2023 02:44
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big dick convention
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Sep 27, 2023 02:50
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i was recruited to project serpo 20 years ago. obama introduced us on mars.
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Sep 27, 2023 02:58
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Holding tank
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Sep 27, 2023 03:17
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"I was Shanghaied into it" She's Chinese
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Sep 27, 2023 03:20
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She was a consolation prize in a farting contest.
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Sep 27, 2023 03:21
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Well, I showed up at her house to pick her up for our first date and as I'm waiting in the kitchen, this guy comes out of nowhere and says to me, "have a seat over there."
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Sep 27, 2023 03:27
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who
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Sep 27, 2023 03:32
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Jerkmate
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Sep 27, 2023 03:53
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We had a mutual friend who turned out to be a pedophile, who had been unsuccessfully trying to groom her since she was 14.
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Sep 27, 2023 04:04
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The cage at the zoo!
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Sep 27, 2023 04:07
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we both worked on starfield together at bethesda game studios
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Sep 27, 2023 04:07
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I've known them my whole life, we're twins.
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Sep 27, 2023 04:09
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family reunion
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Sep 27, 2023 04:09
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I was her onlyfan... 
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Sep 27, 2023 04:12
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the way the blood and pig viscera glistened on their uniform at the slaughterhouse just caught my eye..
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Sep 27, 2023 04:13
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Well I used to be her babysitter
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Sep 27, 2023 04:21
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We liked each other’s postings on somethingawful dot com
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Sep 27, 2023 04:21
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I purchased her on X, the everything app
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Sep 27, 2023 04:26
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he said he was -the- wizard master! *pencilhands starts to sweat uncontrollably*
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Sep 27, 2023 04:26
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they were the emt that rescued me when i nearly had my whole rear end in a top hat and intestines sucked inside out by that pool drain
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Sep 27, 2023 04:33
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We were both audition rejects for extras in a hemorrhoid cream commercial, and we were sort of acting as each other's support groups in the parking lot, jamming our tongues down each other's throats, and she bought me a coffee and pastry with some money she won in a farting contest. I ended up getting a callback for an antidepressant commercial (patient 2) and welp, her career is just sort of, she's just kind of finding herself. But we still love each other very much. 
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Sep 27, 2023 04:51
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We met at a Magic the Gathering tournament. She was playing red deck wins. I had the mana open to counter her final spell but I loved her too much to cast it.
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Sep 27, 2023 05:36
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It's a funny story actually. I was visiting my friend Nate..
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Sep 27, 2023 05:39
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I met my girlfriend/soon to be wife in a really odd way and can't tell anyone about it. We lie and say we met in line at Safeway. I have been wanting to tell the story for years, so forgive me if its a bit long. Before I met my gf I was very much in to a local fetish scene known as "Going Clown". A woman in full clown makeup puts out the call for a handful of guys to meet her in a hotel room (since this is safest). Usually there's like 9 of us and we do what you can imagine we do. The main idea behind this fetish is that the clown girl was originally just a normal girl, who got infected by a bimbo-ization disease that manifests as looking like a clown. Then at the end of the night, any guys who have clown makeup on them are "marked". Those guys reach out to G2G women they know to become the next marked clowns and schedule accordingly. There are around 200 of us in the Portland scene. I post on a few message boards and I figure there's around 4000 of us nationwide. So it's very very very niche. That said; one of the times the clown was my now gf. At the end of the night I usually just leave, but felt a really strong attraction to her and stayed. I told her that I found her amazingly attractive and wanted to see more of her, outside of the clown scene. She agreed, we started dating, and have been happily together ever since. We no longer are part of the clown scene, but she usually does dress up during sex.
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Sep 27, 2023 05:41
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who is nate
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Sep 27, 2023 05:42
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they mean Nathan
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Sep 27, 2023 05:43
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I was struck by his beautiful she looked in the light of the burning cross
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Sep 27, 2023 05:43
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Bad Purchase posted:they mean Nathan THE HOT DOG GUY?
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Sep 27, 2023 05:44
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Milo and POTUS posted:who is nate Funny story that. I was on my to the pound to pick up a dog..
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Sep 27, 2023 05:53
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the Aristocrats!
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Sep 27, 2023 06:11
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Met playing League of Legends
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Sep 27, 2023 06:21
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the holy poopacy posted:Met playing League of Legends Well that’s just too embarrassing, even as a joke
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Sep 27, 2023 06:25
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Would you believe we’re cousins?
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Sep 27, 2023 06:29
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Well it started when I slipped a spider into her hair in kindergarten, and then "helped" her get it out. In fact I have kept the peace in our relationship by using the same technique these last 50 years - would you like to see my spider room?
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Sep 27, 2023 06:35
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Met at the gathering of the juggalos Met at the mud pit at burning man
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Sep 27, 2023 10:54
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| # ? Dec 2, 2023 08:23 |
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Defiance Industries posted:I met my girlfriend/soon to be wife in a really odd way and can't tell anyone about it. We lie and say we met in line at Safeway. I have been wanting to tell the story for years, so forgive me if its a bit long. want a coincidence
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Sep 27, 2023 10:57
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