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The Management
Jan 2, 2010

sup, bitch?
In only a few hours the government is going to trigger the mRNA vaccine with 5G waves and turn all vaxxxxed people into zombies. So how are you preparing for being a zombie?

Iím making sure to be wearing a coat, boots, and other warm clothes when the signal comes. Winter is coming and I donít want my zombie body to be cold.

Also a helmet. Zombies are notoriously vulnerable in the head. I donít have a bullet-proof helmet but I do have a motorcycle helmet that should protect against baseball bats and stabbing weapons.

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redshirt
Aug 11, 2007

Reporting for away mission Sir.
Puts on my "The Zombies" T-shirt and cranks "Zombie" by The Cranberrys on repeat

A Fancy Hat
Nov 18, 2016

Always remember that the former President was dumber than the dumbest person you've ever met by a wide margin

Full suit of armor. Not only will I be safe from headshots, I'll also freak out all the unvaxxed survivors by making them think I'm a medieval guy back for revenge.

BAGS FLY AT NOON
Apr 6, 2011

Nothing. Just gonna wing it, see what happens.

Bouillon Rube
Aug 6, 2009

Epic 2010-rear end thread

crispix
Mar 28, 2015

Grand-Maman m'a raconté
(Les éditions des amitiés franco-québécoises)

Hello, dear
don't be rude :mad:

The Bramble
Mar 16, 2004

A Fancy Hat posted:

Full suit of armor. Not only will I be safe from headshots, I'll also freak out all the unvaxxed survivors by making them think I'm a medieval guy back for revenge.

Nice. With a reduction to slashing damage youíll be well positioned to defeat any 4-man teams of survivors that arenít also packing blunt weapons.

The Bramble fucked around with this message at 15:19 on Oct 4, 2023

The Management
Jan 2, 2010

sup, bitch?
Remember to unlock your doors. You donít want to be that zombie whoís trapped in his apartment for the first year of the outbreak.

redshirt
Aug 11, 2007

Reporting for away mission Sir.

The Management posted:

Remember to unlock your doors. You donít want to be that zombie whoís trapped in his apartment for the first year of the outbreak.

Best just to go outside so you can be assured of being a free range zombie.

BAGS FLY AT NOON
Apr 6, 2011

Invite some folks you donít like that much over and have them turn their phones off so youíve got some fresh brains to eat. The Change is hungry work and itíll be nice to start your new unlife on a full stomach.

Henry Lee Mucus
Dec 11, 2003

:horsedrugs:

funeral home DJ
Apr 21, 2003


Pillbug
I personally will be wearing a shirt and shoes, but no pants or underwear. My hope is that the unvaxxed survivors will be so disturbed and distracted by the sight of my zombified junk that Iíll have a good chance of devouring a few of them. Gotta stay fed!

Mr.Pibbleton
Feb 3, 2006

Aleuts rock, chummer.

I think I have a pretty solid game plan derived from the SNL skit, "Attack Of The Masturbating Zombies." written up by zombie expert and expert Zombie, Conan O'brien.

sure okay
Apr 7, 2006





Probably the best prep you can do is mental prep. The extreme culture shock when it sets in that your old life is over, and this new one isn't nearly as charming or as temporary as media depicts, will be enough to drive anyone to suicidal thoughts.

Society is dead. Maybe dead for good. No more doordash, new tech, new drugs, new shows, new anything.

My advice is to try preparing yourself for a lifetime of loneliness and abject misery. Anyone new you meet is destined to betray you for table scraps, and any moments of life affirming humanity are a pipe dream that will get you killed trying to chase.

Alternatively, you can prepare to get yourself to get bitten first thing and walk amongst the planets new idiot overlords for as long as the virus keeps your corpse propped up. Experience the ecstasy if your ego death.

Mr.Pibbleton
Feb 3, 2006

Aleuts rock, chummer.

sure okay posted:

Probably the best prep you can do is mental prep. The extreme culture shock when it sets in that your old life is over, and this new one isn't nearly as charming or as temporary as media depicts, will be enough to drive anyone to suicidal thoughts.

Society is dead. Maybe dead for good. No more doordash, new tech, new drugs, new shows, new anything.

My advice is to try preparing yourself for a lifetime of loneliness and abject misery. Anyone new you meet is destined to betray you for table scraps, and any moments of life affirming humanity are a pipe dream that will get you killed trying to chase.

Alternatively, you can prepare to get yourself to get bitten first thing and walk amongst the planets new idiot overlords for as long as the virus keeps your corpse propped up. Experience the ecstasy if your ego death.

Just skip to 37:10 https://archive.org/details/saturday-night-live-s-15-e-08-robert-wagner-linda-ronstadt-aaron-neville

Sucrose
Dec 9, 2009
Iíd like to organize a flash zombie mob outside of some prominent anti-vaxxerís house.

neato burrito
Aug 25, 2002

bitch better have my chex mix

I'm gonna see if white people brain's taste different than black brains.

William Bear
Oct 25, 2012

"That's what they all say!"
I'm gonna get my nipples out and eat an overcoat.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zDKcevMFUCo

redshirt
Aug 11, 2007

Reporting for away mission Sir.
I...can....feel myself.......changing

Wilkins Micawber
Jan 27, 2005

as we leave this existence
looking for another
Fallen Rib
Gonna put on a silly costume so the Player Character gets +5 style points when they do a backflip and slice me down the middle.

William Bear
Oct 25, 2012

"That's what they all say!"

redshirt posted:

I...can....feel myself.......changing

Getting to urge for fightin' with tanks and bombs and bombs and guns?

Dapper_Swindler
Feb 14, 2012

Im glad my instant dislike in you has been validated again and again.
honestly, if the zombie poo poo happened and it was like a real horror walking dead type poo poo where its not just contained pretty quick. id probably just steal enough meds from the pharmacy to survive for a while and then just hunker down in my house and wait for the end.

neato burrito
Aug 25, 2002

bitch better have my chex mix

EAT A BRAIN MORANS

Mr.Pibbleton
Feb 3, 2006

Aleuts rock, chummer.

I'm trying so hard to not be a racist zombie out here.

Scam Likely
Feb 18, 2021

redshirt posted:

I...can....feel myself.......changing

I suddenly have the urge to pay $8 a month for X.com blue.

Nelson Mandingo
Mar 27, 2005



I'm still here I think because I was coincidentally on the toilet, passing the biggest poo poo of my LIFE that I managed to expel the Marburg virus the moment the vaccine signal was triggered.

Now I have another problem....clogged toilet....

Nelson Mandingo fucked around with this message at 18:36 on Oct 4, 2023

gimme the GOD DAMN candy
Jul 1, 2007
a zombie apocalypse can't stand up to the climate apocalypse. zombies are even less capable of coping with extreme heat, storms, fires, and flooding than humans.

mackensie
Apr 17, 2002
Biden! :argh:

Only registered members can see post attachments!

Punkinhead
Apr 2, 2015

Haha I threw a brick at a zombie

Punkinhead
Apr 2, 2015

Upon reflection it may have been a guy driving a pickup truck, who can say?

numberoneposter
Feb 19, 2014

How much do I cum? The answer might surprise you!

need to stock up on baja blast and doritos for sure

probably find all the (good) CoD games and hole up with a gas generator to keep the lights on and keep beating the campaigns until this whole thing blows over

Deki
May 12, 2008

It's Hammer Time!
Pre-poo poo my pants so my odor makes zombies think I already died

Funky See Funky Do
Aug 20, 2013
STILL TRYING HARD
I have some big plans for the zombie apocalypse. I'm going to put on a bullet proof helmet and some kind of neck armour and become a really level zombie, worth more points. I should get some body armour and put sharp metal spikes all over it!

DeadFatDuckFat
Oct 29, 2012

This avatar brought to you by the 'save our dead gay forums' foundation.


How come zombies don't eat each other?

Das Boo
Jun 9, 2011

There was a GHOST here.
It's gone now.

Wilkins Micawber posted:

Gonna put on a silly costume so the Player Character gets +5 style points when they do a backflip and slice me down the middle.

I was gonna do this, but because I want to be a named zombie in the credits.

Maybe Ranger Zombie.
Or Circus Zombie.

Triikan
Feb 23, 2007
Most Loved

DeadFatDuckFat posted:

How come zombies don't eat each other?

Because that'd be against the teachings of the bible.

Chinatown
Sep 11, 2001
Probation
Can't post for 41 hours!
Fun Shoe
hoarding a case of analog pornography just in case OP

flubber nuts
Oct 5, 2005


i take kratom daily as one of its less known effects is that it wards of zombies. my wife is still considering leaving me over my drug use though.

Nyan Bread
Mar 17, 2006

Triikan posted:

Because that'd be against the teachings of the bible.

Or it's simply a "team" thing in the same way how vampires don't drink each other's blood.

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Crystal Thenis
Mar 23, 2023

imagine what my avatar was supposed to be

until I realised there is yet another charge for that s**t lmao this site is terrible
i will live behind a waterfall and theyíll never hear me

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