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Laranzu
Jan 18, 2002
Scientifically a raven has 17 primary wing feathers. They are called pinion feathers.
A crow has 16

The difference between a raven and a crow is only a matter of a pinion.

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Platystemon
Feb 13, 2012

BREADS

Jaguars! posted:

You could clean up this one

[wavy arm genie joke]

if ya really wanna sell it do the actions

I love jokes like this and the whale song one that really have to be hammed up for effect.

stinkypete
Nov 27, 2007
wow

How did the Tree get on to the internet?

It just Logged on!

Platystemon
Feb 13, 2012

BREADS
How do you cook an alligator?

In a croc pot.

Platystemon
Feb 13, 2012

BREADS

Elviscat
Jan 1, 2008

Well don't you know I'm caught in a trap?

Platystemon
Feb 13, 2012

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OPís dad is an artist.

SquirrelyPSU
May 27, 2003



Border collies have to be the chaotic good of dog breeds.

Red Crown
Oct 20, 2008

Pretend my finger's a knife.
In America, sometimes events turn out to be Nothingbugers. In Germany, they're called...

Naught-wursts.

pantslesswithwolves
Oct 28, 2008

Ba-dam ba-DUMMMMMM

I remember the first time I saw a universal remote.

I thought to myself, ďThis changes everything.Ē

Platystemon
Feb 13, 2012

BREADS

Comrade Blyatlov
Aug 4, 2007


should have picked four fingers





What do you call a deer with no eyes
no eye deer
What do you call a deer with no eyes and no legs
still no eye deer
What do you call a deer with no eyes legs or penis
still no loving eye deer

stinkypete
Nov 27, 2007
wow

What did the boy cactus say to the girl cactus? We make a prickly pair.

Mmmm Prickly Pears!

What do you call a rude cactus? A prick.

Unlike cacti, coworkers need a shower more than once a week.

Platystemon
Feb 13, 2012

BREADS
The dirtiness in this one exists only in your head.

stinkypete
Nov 27, 2007
wow

What do Bears call Mountain Bikers? Meals on Wheels Arrrhahah

Duzzy Funlop
Jan 13, 2010

Hi there, would you like to try some spicy products?

Platystemon posted:

The dirtiness in this one exists only in your head.



This one I'm lacking context to understand for, I think?

Tyro
Nov 10, 2009

Duzzy Funlop posted:

This one I'm lacking context to understand for, I think?

He called it "poo poo on a shingle," it's an old Army slang term for creamed meat on toast.

Platystemon
Feb 13, 2012

BREADS

stinkypete posted:

What do Bears call Mountain Bikers? Meals on Wheels Arrrhahah

It would be more accurate to say that thatís what mountain lions think of mountain bikers.

A group of five (!) mountain bikers was attacked by two cougars a couple weeks ago in Washington.

I was going to say that the detail about two cats is super weird, they donít behave like that unless itís a mother and kits, but the Washington Department of Fish & Wildlife has since reported that one of them was six months old.

Platystemon
Feb 13, 2012

BREADS

stinkypete
Nov 27, 2007
wow

What did all the Toilets say after a hot day?
You look flushed

Wrong Theory
Aug 27, 2005

Satellite from days of old, lead me to your access code
You know what the best present to gift is?

A broken drum.

No one can beat that.

LtCol J. Krusinski
May 7, 2013
Canít is just oval officeís French apostrophe loving second cousin.

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Platystemon
Feb 13, 2012

BREADS

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