40K Lore Thread: Anime is blood, therefore Khorne is the god of anime.

The Something Awful Forums > Main > Goons Blackmailing Santa > 40K Lore Thread: Anime is blood, therefore Khorne is the god of anime.

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Southern Cassowary: Jan 2, 2023

are there owls

# ? Mar 25, 2024 20:46

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# ? Dec 15, 2025 20:24

Valko: Sep 17, 2015; Like epic funny shit like this? Want to post some? Click >>here for more.

I got my lore WH40k lore from 1d4chan. A website that has been down for over a year. I don't care if it was made by channers it has some real funny content - this isn't 40k related, it's d&d. Still funny.

The ARSEPLOMANCER
Gather up enough 3E books and you can jump into someones rear end, then explode out of them all while having onlookers cheer you on for your gruesome act of murder.

quote:

According to the Epic Level Handbook an escape artist check of 80 is:

"the DC for getting through a space when one�s head shouldn�t even be able to fit; this can be as small as 2 inches square for Medium-size creatures. Halve this limit for each size category less than Medium-size; double it for each size category greater than Medium-size. If the space is long, such as in a chimney, multiple checks may be called for."

Basically, like that killer boneless guy from The X-Files.

The arseplomancer uses this DC to rapidly crawl through the victim's anus. The Skill Master (escape artist) allows the arseplomancer to take 10 on this skill check. The Persuasive Performance allows the arseplomancer to also make this escape artist check act as a diplomacy check for improving attitudes as long as the onlookers are within 30 ft. A sufficiently high diplomacy check is able to turn onlookers into fanatics (the difficulty varies depending on the starting attitude), thus turning ordinary people into (sadly temporary) devoted disciples of this mighty super-man who can leap into assholes.

Once the arseplomancer is inside the victim he can activate his size-changing power in order to grow, exploding the victim from within. In order for this to work, the arseplomancer needs to pass a DC to burst through the victim. To determine if you are successful, you require to perform a Strength check. The DC is calculated by reducing the damage by the Hardness of the material (in the case of leather this is 2) and if any damage remains, deducted it from the object's hit points (5/inch of thickness in the case of leather). Because flesh is weaker than leather, the DC for the flesh would be lower than that. Although since the victim already has actual hit points, it'd be better to use that than a formula based on how to determine leather's hit points.

# ? Mar 25, 2024 20:46

Inexplicable Humblebrag: Sep 20, 2003

well. hmm. that's not very Redwall

# ? Mar 25, 2024 21:01

ChickenHeart: Nov 28, 2007; Take me at your own risk.; Kiss From a Hog

40k, like many "cool space war" science fiction settings, smashes together a bunch of stuff from various works that came before it to make an interesting universe that you can tell a bunch of stories out of and make entertaining games with. And like the other "cool space war" science fiction settings, the cool parts of the universe are being crushed by the property owner's monetary interests and their communities are rife with fans who just can't shut up about how neat the space-fascist are.

Man I hope Discount Bees is doin' alright, wherever he is

# ? Mar 25, 2024 21:02

cumpantry: Dec 18, 2020; Can't post for 21 hours!

# ? Mar 25, 2024 21:10

hot cocoa on the couch: Dec 8, 2009

being fascist in space is the ultimate evolution of humanity. mad?

# ? Mar 25, 2024 21:11

Eclipse12: Feb 20, 2008

These people REALLY like skulls.

# ? Mar 25, 2024 21:15

cumpantry: Dec 18, 2020; Can't post for 21 hours!

Martin the Warhammer, standing tall at 1.2", released his paw sized grip of the Cleansing Chaingun. the battlefield had turned to a cemetery, corpses of neon rat and techno snake littering the field as frequent as the flowers. even a honeybadger had been caught, but it was no matter to Martin, cheeks full of blueberry scone as he reached into his rucksack for another

# ? Mar 25, 2024 21:15

Nooner: Mar 26, 2011; AN A+ OPSTER (:

Helldiver's is pretty fun too, so yeah checks out

# ? Mar 25, 2024 21:15

Bad Purchase: Jun 17, 2019

you can knock fascism all you want but i don�t see any human worlds where democracy or socialism are keeping the ruinous powers in check

# ? Mar 25, 2024 21:16

TrashMammal: Nov 10, 2022

hot cocoa on the couch posted:

being fascist in space is the ultimate evolution of humanity. mad?

someone�s begging for a visit from the ASSMAGICIAN

# ? Mar 25, 2024 21:28

BAGS FLY AT NOON: Apr 6, 2011; Titanohyrax is an extinct genus of large to very large hyrax from the Eocene and Oligocene. Some species are estimated to have been as large as the modern rhinoceros. Estimates of body mass range from 600 kg (1,300 lb) to 1,300 kg (2,900 lb).

Borehammer 40 winks

# ? Mar 25, 2024 21:34

Eclipse12: Feb 20, 2008

Bad Purchase posted:

you can knock fascism all you want but i don’t see any human worlds where democracy or socialism are keeping the ruinous powers in check

# ? Mar 25, 2024 21:35

Deptfordx: Dec 23, 2013

Eclipse12 posted:

Look, these 100 books about the Horus Heresy ain't gonna read themselves.

Who is this fool, this simpleton, who resorts to such ridiculous hyperbole.

There are only 64 books in the series. :colbert:

# ? Mar 25, 2024 21:47

numberoneposter: Feb 19, 2014; How much do I cum? The answer might surprise you!

Nooner posted:

I like the orks

zub zub

# ? Mar 25, 2024 21:55

Arbite: Nov 4, 2009

Rottgob, Ork Strategist posted:

Get 'em boyz!

Dakka dakka dakka!

WAAAGH! THE ORKS!

WAAAGH!

# ? Mar 25, 2024 22:16

Eclipse12: Feb 20, 2008

If orks reproduce via spores, do they have dicks?

# ? Mar 25, 2024 22:26

Smugworth: Apr 18, 2003; Pimpadelic

Eclipse12 posted:

If orks reproduce via spores, do they have dicks?

reported

# ? Mar 25, 2024 22:27

Inexplicable Humblebrag: Sep 20, 2003

No. It's why they're so.angry all the time

# ? Mar 25, 2024 22:27

sugar free jazz: Mar 5, 2008

I�m teh horney type of space demon

# ? Mar 25, 2024 22:32

Smugworth: Apr 18, 2003; Pimpadelic

sugar free jazz posted:

I’m teh horney type of space demon

reported

# ? Mar 25, 2024 22:33

Bad Purchase: Jun 17, 2019

orks live in an egalitarian society free of discrimination and prejudice. they organize under local collectives rather than a central authority, falling in line under a warboss only when necessary in wartime

an ork�s currency is his teeth, and his teeth regrow, ensuring no ork remains in poverty forever

vibes are the driving force of ork society and positivity creates its own reward.

# ? Mar 25, 2024 22:37

titty_baby_: Nov 11, 2015; Can't post for 4 hours!

Bad Purchase posted:

orks live in an egalitarian society free of discrimination and prejudice. they organize under local collectives rather than a central authority, falling in line under a warboss only when necessary in wartime

an ork�s currency is his teeth, and his teeth regrow, ensuring no ork remains in poverty forever

vibes are the driving force of ork society and positivity creates its own reward.

so are grotz not part of this society orr....

# ? Mar 25, 2024 22:42

Bad Purchase: Jun 17, 2019

gretchin are tools to be used and discarded

# ? Mar 25, 2024 22:44

Springfield Fatts: May 24, 2010; Pillbug

This man not even acknowledging the Snotling under-under class

# ? Mar 25, 2024 22:46

Milo and POTUS: Sep 3, 2017; I will not shut up about the Mighty Morphin Power Rangers. I talk about them all the time and work them into every conversation I have. I built a shrine in my room for the yellow one who died because sadly no one noticed because she died around 9/11. Wanna see it?

Otters are all rogue traders

# ? Mar 25, 2024 22:51

titty_baby_: Nov 11, 2015; Can't post for 4 hours!

Springfield Fatts posted:

This man not even acknowledging the Snotling under-under class

# ? Mar 25, 2024 22:55

Eclipse12: Feb 20, 2008

sugar free jazz posted:

I’m teh horney type of space demon

Papa Nurgle?

# ? Mar 25, 2024 22:55

Valko: Sep 17, 2015; Like epic funny shit like this? Want to post some? Click >>here for more.

Springfield Fatts posted:

This man not even acknowledging the Snotling under-under class

Not a class, they are ammunition.

# ? Mar 25, 2024 22:55

NJ Drone Operator: Jun 24, 2011

Southern Cassowary posted:

are there owls

There's a robot monkey

# ? Mar 25, 2024 23:05

Harald: Jul 9, 2009; by Fluffdaddy

Southern Cassowary posted:

are there owls

There are planets where it's always nighttime. I bet you would find owls there. Also I would wager that the owls are psychic / explosive / will gouge out your eyes.

# ? Mar 25, 2024 23:10

Inexplicable Humblebrag: Sep 20, 2003

They would be called GRIMSTRIGOI or something equally trademarkable

# ? Mar 25, 2024 23:41

Poohs Packin: Jan 13, 2019

I was at the mall with my wife and she had to buy some clothes and suggested I go "hang out at the warhammer store or something".

Ive never played or shown any interest in WH40k.

# ? Mar 25, 2024 23:57

Valko: Sep 17, 2015; Like epic funny shit like this? Want to post some? Click >>here for more.

Inexplicable Humblebrag posted:

They would be called GRIMSTRIGOI or something equally trademarkable

They changed Elves to Aelves in WH Fantasy for this exact reason. Games Workshop also tried to copyright 'Space Marine' - which was like trying to copyright 'plasma rifle' or some poo poo.

# ? Mar 26, 2024 00:03

hot cocoa on the couch: Dec 8, 2009

Poohs Packin posted:

I was at the mall with my wife and she had to buy some clothes and suggested I go "hang out at the warhammer store or something".

Ive never played or shown any interest in WH40k.

lol devastating. shes got your rear end made

# ? Mar 26, 2024 00:05

Computer viking: May 30, 2011; Now with less breakage.

I vaguely recall WH40k as being yet another case of someone writing an over the top "look at these dumb space fascists in a setting where everything is hilariously bad and dumb" and it taking roughly fifteen minutes before the majority of the readers were unironic fans of the space fascists?

# ? Mar 26, 2024 00:08

NJ Drone Operator: Jun 24, 2011

hot cocoa on the couch posted:

lol devastating. shes got your rear end made

Yeah you can't come back from that

# ? Mar 26, 2024 00:09

MrQwerty: Apr 15, 2003

lol

# ? Mar 26, 2024 00:12

flubber nuts: Oct 5, 2005

Inexplicable Humblebrag posted:

the emojis are saying the words

woah

# ? Mar 26, 2024 00:15

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# ? Dec 15, 2025 20:24

Dang It Bhabhi!: May 27, 2004

Poohs Packin posted:

I was at the mall with my wife and she had to buy some clothes and suggested I go "hang out at the warhammer store or something".

Ive never played or shown any interest in WH40k.

Powerful wifeown.

# ? Mar 26, 2024 00:25

The Something Awful Forums > Main > Goons Blackmailing Santa > 40K Lore Thread: Anime is blood, therefore Khorne is the god of anime.

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