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If this is inappropriate I'll happily close it. I adopted a rescue dog a week ago, and she's sweet as hell, very affectionate, obedient, and well-mannered to me. To everyone else, she's sometimes like that, but then suddenly she'll be all growly at them. Often then she'll hide out in an out-of-the-way corner (she seems to like behind a particular chair). I want to keep this dog because I think she needs a good home and we can provide that here, and I think everyone here's willing to put up with this for a while, but I want her to be comfortable and happy. I know very little about her history and the rescue knows very little as well beyond a few weeks ago when they got her from down in southern Virginia, so I don't know what she's been through, but her being as responsive as she is I think she's lived in a home with people. Any ideas for getting this dog to like people I live with? I'm sure it's not something that will be fixed overnight and maybe after she's been at home a while she'll settle down, but I'd feel better taking some kind of actions instead of waiting it out to see what happens. Here's a picture of her. Her name is Beatrice and she's about 6 years old.  
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Jun 22, 2024 18:01
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| # ? Nov 10, 2025 14:43 |
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I think it would help if they toss some treats for her You can slowly decrease the distance Not an expert though
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Jun 23, 2024 01:38
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Tonight she snapped at a 13 year old kid who was just walking by as she was sitting in my lap and I was petting her. We can't have that. I don't know what to do.
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Jun 23, 2024 04:38
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Look for a trainer in your area that advertises only positive reinforcement. Any mention of alphas and pack dynamics is bad bad bad. The behaviors you mentioned are generally considered fear based reactivity, so the trainer will be working with both the dog (to help her realize that she doesn’t need those behaviors to be safe anymore) and you (to help you learn how to see her anxiety before it gets to the breaking point where she snaps because it’s all too much). As an example of what to look for, https://www.darngooddogschicago.com/ is a friend of mine with years of experience. You can also ask your or a local rescue for recommendations.
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Jul 1, 2024 03:43
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Thank you, Hutla. That's exactly what I did. The rescue recommended a trainer and paid for them to come to my house one day last week and she basically said all you did. We're working on helping Beatrice get through this and the family are all up for the long haul. She's all bark and no bite, but her barks can be intimidating anyways. The trainer also recommended getting cbd treats for her and we're trying that too.
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Jul 1, 2024 03:56
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I'm glad you have a start to helping her! My mom adopted a dog with really high fear reactivity, especially towards tall men, and through really slow, structured positive reinforcement training he was eventually able to be trusted in the house with strangers.
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Jul 1, 2024 18:08
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I've only ever owned 1 dog that was abused and had behavioral problems before I got him. In part, I think it was really helpful that he latched on to me as his safe person. He was hyper sensitive to my moods. He could tell when he had disappointed me and he acted like my disappointment caused him emotional pain. I had to be so careful with him because of that sensitivity. When I got him he was flat out dangerous around small children and most other animals. After I had him for about 2 years he was absolutely reliable and gentle. I think the most important thing I did was just show him that he was always safe with me. I never yelled, never punished. When I first got him I had to pretty much tie him to myself so I could intervene at the drop of a hat, but it was always as gentle as I could make it and more often than not involved getting him away from whatever was setting him off. Once I had him away from his stressor, I would usually sit on the ground so we could be face to face and I'd just gently pet him and talk to him. Even though he couldn't understand what I was saying I'd just sit there and explain to him why he wasn't allowed to attack my cousin or try to eat the cat. As time went by the incidents became less frequent and less forceful. Eventually they stopped altogether. I didn't have a trainer to help me so it will probably go a lot faster and easier for you. It also sounds like yours is a lot less dangerous than mine was. Consistency is key. Be reliable to the dog. Be a safe space. Be gentle but firm. You can do this.
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Jul 3, 2024 10:26
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Hey! So yeah, obviously this is a tricky one and I think at this point it's hard to say how things will go. As some background I adopted a dog from Romania as a puppy who is also very shy, anxious and reactive and I've spent a lot of time reading, watching (good reliable) Youtubers, and working with positive reinforcement trainers. First and foremost, definitely spend time finding a really good trainer or behaviorist (certified). There's a lot of snake oil out there - watch for code works like "K9" or "alpha", and avoid board-and-train situations which often are code for "punishment". Really take your time with this, and maybe look at some online basics (Kikopup notably, one of the best trainers working today). Your trainer should align with Kikopup's mentality. this is what good and credible looks like and sounds like. [edit: looks like you found someone, but keeping this for posterity] There's a sentiment in dog life that goes "3 days to feel like they're not gonna be eaten, 3 weeks to understand the situation, 3 months to know it's safe and permanent" (but like, more snappy or whatever). So give your dog some time to know your house and yourself. I think that protecting others and signalling that your dog is anxious are two things that you should do immediately as you get the situation sorted. This means muzzle training, while you start to understand the situation better. It's also advisable to get a hi-vis jacket for your dog. This is a signal that your dog is reactive. You may even get one with a "space please" "keep away" type of text on it. OK, so those are some of your safety basics beyond keeping an eye on her. I am not an expert, but personally I would be watching her cues closely. Is she growling, going stiff, raising a lip? Or is she going right for a lunge? The reason I would watch for this is she may be scared and trying to get the problem/scary thing to go away. And if she's going right to lunging and snapping, it can be reactivity. It could also be that her "leave me alone" signals that are calmer/more subtle have been ignored a lot and she jumps right to the next level of warning which is snapping. (This happens when people use punishment/alpha rolls etc). There's a book called "Calming Signals" that can help, but Youtube is also really good for body language watching-training. Re: Growling at strangers and hiding 1) I would personally let her and give her space at this time, and really associate her kennel-crate as a safe retreat for her that will never be disturbed 2) when you feel ready, have people give distance, avoid eye contact - look down or away. they can toss treats occassionally from a safe distance. only go as close as she's comfortable and then one step away (or as per trainer's instructions). 3) it's feasible that anxiety medication may be in the cards, but only after work with a trainer for a while. expect this work to be a lifetime, think of it like tending a garden - not just fixing a problem. Some resources for you: This book (from a vet tech friend): https://www.amazon.com/Behavior-Pro...ps%2C217&sr=8-1 It's from a famous behavioralist on the origins of behavior problems in dogs. I haven't read it fully yet. Check Kikopup https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC-qnqaajTk6bfs3UZuue6IQ on Youtube for the basics of consistent positive reinforcement training, start from the puppy stuff. You'll want this to build trust and confidence in your dog, and learn to work with her. Third, Spirit Dog training on Instagram is also good and reliable, but more for little snippets. I'm interested in her reactivity program and may buy it later this year. Disreputable Dog fucked around with this message at 00:24 on Jul 10, 2024 |
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Jul 10, 2024 00:22
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Thanks for the tips! I'm not sure this trainer is right for us, so I'm going to start looking around. I went to the vet before the 4th because I was concerned how Beatrice would react to fireworks, and she kind of contradicted some of the things the trainer said, and what she said made sense. Like the trainer said, when she starts growling, make a noise at her, and the vet was like "She's doing that because she's scared. If you were scared and someone made weird noises at you would that calm you down?" That made a lot of sense to me. I was concerned because I found out that when she was found a few months back, she was placed in a kennel, and while she was in there a big thunderstorm came through, and she tried to chew her way out of the cage, which resulted in her losing at least one tooth and needing dental surgery. The vet gave us some Trazodone and that seemed to do the trick (as well as apparently she finds the bathroom the quietest and safest place in the house so she stayed in there most of the night). She's a lot better with not going off at random, but it still happens. It usually happens when someone is approaching me and we think she's either possessive of me or trying to protect me. What everyone has learned is to not react to her and not back down. They aren't aggressive or anything, they just kind of go about what they were doing. I'm glad she's not a biter. Anyways I'll check out the videos and look around for trainers. She's officially been adopted as of this weekend so we're pretty committed to her. Here's a few pictures.   
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Jul 10, 2024 02:24
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Yeah, my mom's dog was very protective of her, so much so that he thought literally anyone approaching her or even just walking by was a threat. Her trainer had her meet people outside the house, somewhere that he didn't consider his territory. She also had her give people treats to just toss gently at him while standing just barely at the edge of his personal space bubble and ignoring him otherwise. He was obviously kept on a short leash during all this so that even if he got triggered, he couldn't get at anyone. Eventually his personal space bubble shrunk and shrunk and as he got more comfortable with more new people he would remember certain people/treat machines and look forward to seeing them. Tbqh, it did take a good 6-9 months before I could go over to my parents house and have him be reliable to not sneak up behind me for a sneaky Just-in-case-you-were-planning-something nip.
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Jul 10, 2024 03:56
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Murdstone posted:pup stuff Yeah, definitely keep looking for a trainer. You should meet fear and growling with stoic patience and compassion and not weird sounds and stuff. And respecting boundaries! Growling is actually really healthy communication (vs immediately biting for example). Kennel sounds tricky! I'm looking to just get a covered basket-type thing for my dog, who also will not go into a crate for any reason. Mainly what I want for him (and what you can try to build for Beatrice) is a denny-like place she can go when she needs to tell people "I need space leave me alone" and it's hers and hers alone.  Anti-anxiety meds are a good thing too.People not making a big fuss is good! One thing you can do that is fun is try to figure out her favourite food, so you can start also rewarding at low/mid/high levels. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6P_MYUhd_BY The next step could be tossing treats from a distance and ignoring her.
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Jul 10, 2024 21:52
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Murdstone posted:Tonight she snapped at a 13 year old kid who was just walking by as she was sitting in my lap and I was petting her. She's maintaining her street cred. I'm from southern VA, I'd be very surprised if she was ever allowed in a house. I've had a few dogs like this, I generally ignore them at first, just feed/water, let them out to potty, toss a toy near them, toss a treat now and then. After a while they will seek attention or hop up on the couch for pets. I do the same for feral cats. I'm sure everyone will say it's a terrible method, but I let them decide what level of interaction they want.
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Aug 1, 2024 18:36
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| # ? Nov 10, 2025 14:43 |
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meriruka posted:She's maintaining her street cred. We dogsat a week or so ago and they got along pretty well except with food (we fed them in different rooms, but when I was giving them both treats at the same time--that didn't go over well) and when I was home and Beatrice would get all possessive. Otherwise they played together and generally were fine with each other.
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Aug 2, 2024 00:32
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