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a name for it because apparently it's going to be here a while and I feel like it'd be really bad luck if it didn't have a name. I'm also gendering it as an it not because I can't ID the sex of a dead bug that's six pixels long (small) but because I think "it" is the coolest pronoun and the clearly most powerful (most powerful things in the world are an it (except for storms) and therefore it is clearly the pronoun of royalty) and I want to respect this bug because, again, my monitor is now being haunted by an extremely determined bug who really wanted to die in the technological equivalent of the Nutty Putty cave like really went out of its way to die in here and I think I need to respect that and be in awe of the sheer power of this personality (which will surely persist after its death inside the monitor screen). I am also accepting suggestions for funerary rites which will appease its tormented and clearly deranged soul. What is the appropriate flavor of incense to burn for an intrepid but extremely foolhardy explorer who wished to create for itself a new frontier and then die on it in a way that makes it an absolute problem for everyone around it? Please don't talk to me about removing it I have tried the internet's suggestions of drumming on my monitor and pleasuring it with a vibrator and neither have yielded results and the technology of a suction cup is far beyond my understanding to acquire so this is just my life now, and the bug's life (over (dead))(not the 3D movie) and I want us (me and the bug (dead (ghost))) to have a good relationship going forward (not evil haunting (scary)).
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Sep 7, 2024 21:16
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download a video of a funerary pyre and make the player window as small as need be and put it behind the dead bug. then launch youtube and play some sort of ritualistic funeral song that has slow heavy drums. do this for however long you think is necessary to honor the bug's achievements during its life and the impact it had on you, its next of kin. as for names: glip
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Sep 7, 2024 21:22
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Jelvis
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Sep 7, 2024 21:26
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if you can get a frog in there behind the screen it will slurp that bug right up
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Sep 7, 2024 21:38
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Bad Purchase posted:if you can get a frog in there behind the screen it will slurp that bug right up Okay see I am well educated and I know where this goes and so I will ask this in advance and save myself having to make a new thread in a few days: When the frog dies inside my monitor what should I name it and what are the proper funerary rites for frogs. We have lots of small green treefrogs where I live and I can maybe convince one of the more daring and/or reckless ones to throw their life away in pursuit of this sort of thing and I want to be prepared to honor its sacrifice as it spends the next several years decaying in increasingly fantastic shades of rot within the layers of my monitor (or will it mummify (dead body: dry version) instead?).
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Sep 7, 2024 21:43
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FlocksOfMice posted:Okay see I am well educated and I know where this goes and so I will ask this in advance and save myself having to make a new thread in a few days: There's this old nursery rhyme about a lady who swallowed a fly. Follow it exactly, it is scientific procedure.
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Sep 7, 2024 21:44
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Sep 7, 2024 21:44
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nullandvoid posted:There's this old nursery rhyme about a lady who swallowed a fly. Follow it exactly, it is scientific procedure. Okay so I live on a farm (farmer) so I have access to most of these animals in one way or another, although I'm concerned when we reach the goat level I won't be able to see anything in my monitor at all and that will interfere with at least several things one would use a computer to do. Furthermore I am concerned that the old lady in this story (perhaps) dies and I don't know if in this process I or the monitor am the old lady but I would like to avoid death (my own) as much as possible because unlike glips Jelvis (bug (dead (died inside my monitor))) I do not particularly wish to die (reality is an illusion and death is just a part of that illusion but video games are an illusion too and I don't like it when I die in a video game (elden ring (difficult)). So please write back with academically sourced information confirming that if I follow this guideline (old lady who swallowed a fly) I won't perhaps die. It was this for three days despite my best efforts yes this is the exact experience although glips Jelvis (bug (dead (died inside my monitor))) is significantly smaller and by the end was becoming much more lethargic.  Presented above: photographic comparison of the size between glips Jelvis (right)(dead bug (real)) and fake bug (left)(not dead (was not ever alive)). Edit of post: Do you think glip Jelvis's spirit finds comfort in this simulacrum of companionship. FlocksOfMice fucked around with this message at 21:52 on Sep 7, 2024 |
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Sep 7, 2024 21:49
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how did it get in there?
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Sep 7, 2024 22:08
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FlocksOfMice posted:Okay so I live on a farm (farmer) so I have access to most of these animals in one way or another, although I'm concerned when we reach the goat level I won't be able to see anything in my monitor at all and that will interfere with at least several things one would use a computer to do. Furthermore I am concerned that the old lady in this story (perhaps) dies and I don't know if in this process I or the monitor am the old lady but I would like to avoid death (my own) as I'll admit, I'm currently engaging in hedonistic pleasures of the Midwest fall atmosphere. As such, phone posting leaves much to be desired. This must suffice for the moment.
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Sep 7, 2024 22:10
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Maybe a radical idea OP, but have you tried removing the bug from your monitor?
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Sep 7, 2024 22:16
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Use the degauss button to exorcise dead bug souls.
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Sep 7, 2024 22:24
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Dumb Sex-Parrot posted:how did it get in there? There comes a time in everyone's life where they have an idea that threatens to consume them. Yet for most reasonable people or bugs, they stay the course of the tried and true. They walk the known roads and come to the known conclusions of them. All paths come to some conclusion or another, and only the fool values the conclusion overmuch. It is the road that pleases us most that we must find. Many of us eschew the road that would please us most for fear that it will be too difficult to walk, too difficult to find, too difficult to access. Not glip Jelvis. glip Jelvis was seized with the spirit of the insurmountable lust for things such as bright lights and heat. For a normal bug the fairy lights on my wall would suffice. Thousands upon them have visited it, and hundreds have died on the fly strip meant to catch them because the fairy lights are right next to where I sleep (on the floor (better for your back)) and I got so loving sick of 100,000 drainflies establishing new forms of society on my face every night. Not glip Jelvis. Not for it was the well-known, well-defined, well-circumscribed life of the fairy-lights-liver. No. Here was a light of a different sort, wide, flat, imperial, imposing, fluctuating constantly. Here was the heartswish of glip Jelvis. How many bugs have made it inside the monitor before? None. Never. In near to half a decade, which, to a bug, is several thousand years, no one had accomplished it. It takes a special bug, with a very special drive, a very severe dedication, to perform something like this. In a thousand years, none had walked this path before glip Jelvis showed us all it Could Be Done! glip Jelvis went on to show us why it shouldn't be done, because it could not figure out how to get out once it had gotten in. The false comfort of the light was a light that lead nowhere. While all roads conclude eventually this was a road that fell in an alarming pace towards a miserable conclusion no one would want to be a part of. glip Jelvis showed us that some paths are not walked because some paths are Best Not Walked. What have you accomplished, glip Jelvis? I have a headache with the frustration of you. How many bugs can cause such suffering to something that, on a scale you could have related to when you were alive, is immortal? I shall last for 100,000 of your years. And you have annoyed me. You will annoy me for some time yet to come. Can it truly be said glip Jelvis has failed? ALL roads come to a conclusion. ALL of us will face fear, a sense of being lost, helpless, afraid, hopelessness. ALL of us will die in time. How many, with their dying act, will agitate the eye of a tyrant tall enough to grasp the stars and whose will creates and extinguishes light and heat? All of us will suffer, miserable, trapped, alone, and die. How many of us will die with the radiant glory of glip Jelvis? Do you think glip Jelvis is aware of its royalty? nullandvoid posted:I'll admit, I'm currently engaging in hedonistic pleasures of the Midwest fall atmosphere. As such, phone posting leaves much to be desired. I don't like Kirkegaard though I'd knife fight him in the streets if I met him I'd be like "Your work, while seminal in a contemporary setting, is part of a long line of people talking about talking and thinking about thinking, you have failed from first principles in taking this reality to be serious and so have trapped yourself within it, and no masterpiece made from the materials of a prison will ever not be of that prison. By killing you I seek to kill that of myself that I see in you, and by killing that of myself I hope to kill something of our prison that binds us here." I'd say that to him and then we'd have a knife-fight. At any rate, frog season is over and I don't think I can find any frogs. MoonshineWilly posted:Use the degauss button to exorcise dead bug souls. Unfortunately it is not a CRT because I don't think bugs can even get stuck behind CRTs anyway and also that means I can't degauss things. Did you know I learned to do 3D modeling on a CRT computer? They existed at a time not terribly long ago and now they do not exist anymore. This is the same with all things, including glip Jelvis, who once existed and is now a dead corpse and yet whose existence now has an outsized impact on my life and has now become something you are all aware of as well. Sophy Wackles posted:Maybe a radical idea OP, but have you tried removing the bug from your monitor? Please read the thread I held a vibrator (sexual (used for non-sexual purposes (removing glip Jelvis from its tomb))) against my monitor for a solid minute and it was not dislodged. I am searching for frogs to begin Old Lady Who Swallowed a Fly protocols. What more do you want of me.
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Sep 7, 2024 22:30
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FlocksOfMice posted:Please read the thread I held a vibrator (sexual (used for non-sexual purposes (removing glip Jelvis from its tomb))) against my monitor for a solid minute and it was not dislodged. I am searching for frogs to begin Old Lady Who Swallowed a Fly protocols. What more do you want of me. Put the vibrator away and pick up a screwdriver. Ignore any warnings you come across once you start to disassemble the monitor.
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Sep 7, 2024 22:34
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Sophy Wackles posted:Put the vibrator away and pick up a screwdriver. Ignore any warnings you come across once you start to disassemble the monitor. What would Kirkegaard have to say about this conundrum. Should I succeed my screen would be clear again. Should I fail I shall never see again. Is this the choice glip Jelvis faced when it decided to crawl into my monitor? Absolute glory or utter defeat? Can it be said there are other stakes than this in this world? CAN it, Kirkegaard?
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Sep 7, 2024 22:41
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Pixie
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Sep 7, 2024 22:42
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Grey Cat posted:Pixie glip "Pixie" Jelvis (posthumous)
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Sep 7, 2024 22:42
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Jelvis died doing what he loved: turning off your monitor OP
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Sep 7, 2024 23:40
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spotted Jelvis behind the pump payment screen at my gas station
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Sep 7, 2024 23:43
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I think I speak for us all when I say glip "Pixie" Jelvis was a hero and should get a commemorative plaque so future bug generations can remember what happened here.
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Sep 8, 2024 00:10
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It's also the part of the thread where I reveal the horrible truth. This is called a plot twist, and those of you familiar with the concepts of literature may have expected such a thing to occur at this, the midway point in our story. The attentive readers would have realized from my casual mention of a fly strip and the countless bug corpses that I am no stranger to being implicit or perhaps even the cause of the death of other living things. I killed glip "Pixie" Jelvis. I tried to kill it repeatedly at the corner of the screen, in hopes it would be an easy problem to deal with, but the tension of the screen at that point was too thick that any pressure applied seemed to not affect it at all. I assumed, in my folly, that the screen was too thick, that they were too deep under the layers for any pressure to reach it. I despaired at the idea of it scurrying about for days slowly dying. It horrified me. I felt this deep, miserable sickness every day I turned on my computer and saw glip "Pixie" Jelvis scramble frantically trying to find a way out that would never reveal itself. I do not enjoy the suffering of things, even if their qualia is perhaps too small to understand the horror of their own suffering. And it frustrated me seeing a small creature run around inside my screen, inside my main means of interaction with the greater outside world beyond the farm and the many, many, many chickens, who mostly are thinking about things like eggs or hawks. When I finally put in the terminal pressure that created the end of glip "Pixie" Jelvis' experiences in this world I did not expect it to be fatal. But it was. It did and it was, and I saw them die and pulled my finger back as fast as I could. I didn't think it would be this mercy, but it was, it was the mercy and it was a miserable mercy and I live with the price of the mercy forevermore now, or until I can get a suction cup and try to make enough space in the monitor for its corpse to fall free or something. Anyway man was the true monster all along. FlocksOfMice fucked around with this message at 00:24 on Sep 8, 2024 |
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Sep 8, 2024 00:16
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FlocksOfMice posted:Anyway man was the true monster all along. Before you were here, and after you're here. It's a profession, and we're good at getting promoted.
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Sep 8, 2024 00:24
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nullandvoid posted:Before you were here, and after you're here. It's a profession, and we're good at getting promoted. Like I said to Kirkegaard, lovingly, in our metaphorically literal knife fight in the streets of Copenhagen, there is no advancing and there is no retreating, there is no movement but an endless internal gyre, a clockwise spiral of increasing madness within this dark, aimless layer that we wander through. This world and all its fancies are an illusion, and death is only a function of it, and suffering likewise is a nothing (it is the opposite of a nothing actually, it is a something, the worst of all kinds of possible things), and you can't achieve freedom by clinging to the shifting colors of the television screen in hopes that maybe this shade will allow you to see through it to the world beyond it. But did glip "Pixie" Jelvis have the greater understanding to free itself conceptually from this prison? Was glip "Pixie" Jelvis even a discrete entity? Is glip "Pixie" Jelvis being granted a greater sense of self by the semiotics we structure around it in this thread? When we die will imaginary stories about us override the imaginary story that was our lives? Philosophy is basically the worst thing is what I am saying, and just as I would knife fight Kirkegaard in the streets of Copenhagen would I kill glip "Pixie" Jelvis and so too do I expect to die and for nothing to change at all in any of it. We must find a greater violence to commit and turn whithershins with enough force the spring of the world breaks and we are free. We owe it to glip "Pixie" Jelvis. We owe it to ourselves, for there is no difference between you, me, and glip "Pixie" Jelvis.
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Sep 8, 2024 00:29
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RIP glip “pixie” Jelvis, I hope you are buzzing annoying around the outside lights at a gas station in bug heaven.
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Sep 8, 2024 01:05
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The bug is still not gonna gently caress you.
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Sep 8, 2024 01:30
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jelvis is pretty good
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Sep 8, 2024 01:32
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FlocksOfMice posted:Anyway man was the true monster all along. I feel sick. I don’t know if I can participate in this thread with this revelation.
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Sep 8, 2024 01:46
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buglord posted:I feel sick. I don’t know if I can participate in this thread with this revelation. It's really the mid season plot twist that makes or breaks the story. Would it have been better for glip "Pixie" Jelvis to have died from thirst and hunger and the heat of the monitor? It's a little bit more life in suffering worth the suffering? Can you ask of me to watch someone die slowly day after day after day? Can you be so cruel? Could I be that cruel to glip "Pixie" Jelvis? Imagine the guilt I feel. Do you know how many lives I've ended? Many died nameless (mosquitos). Some died with names (livestock). Some only gained names afterwards (glip "Pixie" Jelvis). Which of these three do you think I should feel worst about?
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Sep 8, 2024 01:58
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maybe hes just sleepin
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Sep 8, 2024 02:01
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Poor ol' glippy saw op's reflection and died
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Sep 8, 2024 02:06
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FlocksOfMice posted:It's really the mid season plot twist that makes or breaks the story. Would it have been better for glip "Pixie" Jelvis to have died from thirst and hunger and the heat of the monitor? It's a little bit more life in suffering worth the suffering? Can you ask of me to watch someone die slowly day after day after day? Can you be so cruel? Could I be that cruel to glip "Pixie" Jelvis? its OK op he prolly died of old age or maybe hes playing a practical joke and isnt dead at all!!!
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Sep 8, 2024 02:08
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Do you think it laid eggs inside ops monitor
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Sep 8, 2024 02:12
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Colonel Cancer posted:Do you think it laid eggs inside ops monitor Real life rarely gives us such satisfying endings but we can only hope.
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Sep 8, 2024 03:04
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one evening after waking up from a multi-day LAN party stupor I found that there was a dot moving randomly on my screen. at first I thought i'd picked up a virus but it stayed there even in BIOS, so I pushed on the lcd where it was. it got a little bigger and stopped moving. sorry, bug.
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Sep 8, 2024 03:06
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selan dyin posted:one evening after waking up from a multi-day LAN party stupor I found that there was a dot moving randomly on my screen. What did you do about the new saintly reliquary that was your monitor holding the carcass of the holy beast (dead bug sitting in your monitor distracting you and reminding you of your sins).
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Sep 8, 2024 03:47
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I was not aware that they could get into flatscreens.
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Sep 8, 2024 04:09
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DicktheCat posted:I was not aware that they could get into flatscreens. The frontier spirit was strong in glip "Pixie" Jelvis, a burning need to go somewhere no one thought it possible to go. We have all learned a heady lesson from this.
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Sep 8, 2024 04:18
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I miss it. Things just haven't been the same since we lost good ol glip. 
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Sep 8, 2024 04:47
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BAGS FLY AT NOON posted:Jelvis died doing what he loved: turning off your monitor OP a few pixels of their monitor, at least.
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Sep 8, 2024 04:52
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