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numberoneposter
Feb 19, 2014

How much do I cum? The answer might surprise you!

id like to discuss how people make their own hamburgers, one of the great staples of fast food, but not quite so easy or convenient to make at home

ill start i as the original poster, as is tradition.

usually ill get the idea in my brain to make hamburgers at home if i see potato buns on sale, then ill track down some beef. from there i will likely have the rest of the fresh ingredients to put together my favorite version of the hamburger.

for me i can enjoy a multitude of burger styles. in fact when i grew up there was a shop that had like 30 different ingredients you could put on the burger. while entertaining and maybe good for business thats just too many options.

when i make burgers at home i keep it simple, its the henry ford of burgers, you can have any burger you want as long as its exactly like this (except sometimes with vegetarian option)

1: top bun toasted (potato bun if possible)
2: mayo on top bun
3: tomato
4: purple onion
5:lettuce
6: cheese if you want (sometimes i dont care for a cheeseburger)
7: THE BEEF (so i always do my burgers smash burger style, thin, no extra ingredients, i think if you put egg in your burger you are a loving idiot)
8: mustard, a tiny bit of ketchup, and pickles
9: bottom bun toasted

so there you have it, that is how i make a burger and in my brain its great, but compared to just going out and getting a burg at mcdicks its a bit of setup, not even that bad, but more than say making a baked potato

so that said, i implore you to share, do you like burgers fully loaded? or are you a smash burger fan?

looking forward to reading your comments, smash that reply button.

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Rubber Chicken
Mar 13, 2024

[IMG-CHICKEN]
My favorite burger build is

Fat patty, medium
Cheese
Bacon
BBQ sauce
Onions, probably fried maybe sauteed
A nice quality but soft bun


Others are fine too but that's my favorite

numberoneposter
Feb 19, 2014

How much do I cum? The answer might surprise you!

Rubber Chicken posted:

My favorite burger build is

Fat patty, medium
Cheese
Bacon
BBQ sauce
Onions, probably fried maybe sauteed
A nice quality but soft bun


Others are fine too but that's my favorite
hell yeah my burger brother

i love that burger build, for me the sauteed onions and bbq sauce get it to that next level

thanks for the reply and keep on burgin

evilmiera
Dec 14, 2009

Status: Ravenously Rambunctious
I don't really make burgers anymore, mostly since I am on a diet (even if I did break that diet last week because of stress reasons) I used to love making the most unhealthy burgs known to man. Luther burgers, peanut butter mixed in with the patty, you name it, if it was a health hazard I ate it. A real change from my mainly vegetable-based diet I eat now.

There is a particular burger I still try once in a while: Brioche bun, mango chutney mixed with curry and yoghurt, chicken fillet, feta cheese and any kind of sweeter onion slice. As well as any kind of green you think fits. Gives me horrible hiccups but it is dang delicious.

Squee
Jun 15, 2003
<3
Since I was a kid my mom would always make burgers with french onion soup mix and thawed/drained frozen spinach mixed in. I hate them.

I usually stick with a smash burger at home tho, double with cheese and mustard/pickles sometimes mayo. Always toast your buns.

Elviscat
Jan 1, 2008

Well don't you know I'm caught in a trap?

Rubber Chicken posted:

My favorite burger build is

Fat patty, medium
Cheese
Bacon
BBQ sauce
Onions, probably fried maybe sauteed
A nice quality but soft bun


Others are fine too but that's my favorite

I love a good Western burger.

The best burger I've made at home is the French Onion Soup burger, double thin patty smashburger with Gruyere melted on top, F.O.S. from last night boiled down to a jam like consistency, and an egg to top it off, since this is for brunch.

Nice crusty bread like ciabatta that can hold up to the soup sauce.

numberoneposter
Feb 19, 2014

How much do I cum? The answer might surprise you!

evilmiera posted:

I don't really make burgers anymore, mostly since I am on a diet (even if I did break that diet last week because of stress reasons) I used to love making the most unhealthy burgs known to man. Luther burgers, peanut butter mixed in with the patty, you name it, if it was a health hazard I ate it. A real change from my mainly vegetable-based diet I eat now.

There is a particular burger I still try once in a while: Brioche bun, mango chutney mixed with curry and yoghurt, chicken fillet, feta cheese and any kind of sweeter onion slice. As well as any kind of green you think fits. Gives me horrible hiccups but it is dang delicious.
this sounds like an honrable personal battle and i am all for self improvement, i appreciate your dietary restrictions because sometimes that's the only way to make personal progress is hard restrictions.

however i can not at all condone the brioche bun. my burger brain rejects the brioche bun. give me something firm and decorated with poppy seeds if you want to load it up. all others will die, die, die by my beef and toppings,

Lil Swamp Booger Baby
Aug 1, 1981

I do burger bun burger bun burger bun burger bun burger bun burger bun burger bun burger bun burger bun burger bun burger bun burger bun burger bun, ketchup, American cheese, bun

Entorwellian
Jun 30, 2006
Burg it slow. Burg it hard.

Elviscat
Jan 1, 2008

Well don't you know I'm caught in a trap?

Sometimes I get a hankering for my mom's homestyle hamburgers.

-93/7 patty, way too thick, cooked for about 10 minutes too long at too low a temperature. On a gas grill if it's nice out.

-ketchup

- yellow mustard

-miracle whip

-big 'ol tomato slice

-single large sheet of iceberg lettuce

-a thick slice of cheddar cheese with no hope of melting

-extra dill pickles

-the cheapest possible bun, only toasted if you ask nicely and repeatedly.

TrashMammal
Nov 10, 2022

  • cast iron skillet on a wood fire grill
  • patty with a decent thickness, seasoned simply w/salt and pepper
  • cap the entire skillet so it gets nice and smoky. please note that is different than putting a lid on the skillet, which you should specifically avoid
  • slice some onion thin as you can, toss it briefly in the skillet at plateup
  • get some collards ready from a batch made at least the night before
  • briefly press buns to grill, then lightly dress w/ mayo
  • layer patty, onion, collards, + your favored hot sauce with a slice of emmantaler on top—draped and melted w/ a torch to hold the collards in place

GhostofJohnMuir
Aug 14, 2014

anime is not good
not my standard, but today i tried out an oklahoma burger to pretty good results

4-5 oz 80/20 beef per patty
2-3 oz yellow onion ~1/8" thick per patty
american cheese
potato bun
yellow mustard ketchup

work beef more than usual
season heavily
put on a roaring hot skillet
smash
top with onion
flip when bottom of patty is crisp
put on american cheese
put top and heel bun on buger and steam until outward onion are crisp
scoop burger and top bun, add heel and pinch off spatula

add mustard and a splash of ketchup

honestly it ended up being one of the better burgers i've made. i was skeptical of not toasting the bun, but having it absorb the onion steam and beef grease contributes more than enough

the splashed fat around the skillet was a bit annoying, but not the worst mess when using a splatter guard

edit: forgot to add that next time i would reduce the amount of onions slightly to closer to 1.5-2 oz. got some nice charring, but mostly steaming and it was bit of a mouthful

numberoneposter
Feb 19, 2014

How much do I cum? The answer might surprise you!

TrashMammal posted:

  • cast iron skillet on a wood fire grill
  • patty with a decent thickness, seasoned simply w/salt and pepper
  • cap the entire skillet so it gets nice and smoky. please note that is different than putting a lid on the skillet, which you should specifically avoid
  • slice some onion thin as you can, toss it briefly in the skillet at plateup
  • get some collards ready from a batch made at least the night before
  • briefly press buns to grill, then lightly dress w/ mayo
  • layer patty, onion, collards, + your favored hot sauce with a slice of emmantaler on top—draped and melted w/ a torch to hold the collards in place

i appreciate you enough to say this burger recipe doesn't jive give in my brain

however your extensive description leads me to believe that id like it

i just cant follow some of the steps.

im still not sure what a collard green is, and im 39, 40 in october, and then like, uhh a lot of other things

but thank you for coming out

numberoneposter fucked around with this message at 08:14 on Sep 14, 2024

ElectricSheep
Jan 14, 2006

she had tiny Italian boobs.
Well that's my story.
For me it's pretty much the approach Kenji Lopez-Alt takes to the Oklahoma Onion burger:

1/4 lb beef flattened to 1/2 in patty
Onions, cut thin with a mandolin
American cheese slices (Kraft singles specifically)
Sliced pickles (Claussen dill)
King's Hawaiian hamburger buns
Kosher salt and pepper

Season one side of burger meat with salt/pepper. Burger goes in hot cast iron seasoned side down, smash down the burger with a press/spatula with the thinnest parts at the edges. Pile a stack of thin-sliced onions on top of the burg, season the onions with salt and pepper. After the burger edges get brown and crispy and the burger can move freely from the pan, flip with a long thin metal spatula so the onions are under the meat. Tuck stray onions under the burg. Slice of cheese on top, then the top bun, then the bottom bun on top of the top bun, then throw a lid on the pan. The steam from the cooking onions will soften the bun. Lid off and get the bottom part of the bun on a plate, scrape the gooey mess out of the pan, deposit on the plates bottom bun and enjoy.

Don't even need condiments and it's the best, trashiest, greasiest burger I've ever made. Kraft singles are like 95% plastic but they melt perfectly and add to the whole vibe.

GhostofJohnMuir
Aug 14, 2014

anime is not good

numberoneposter posted:

i appreciate you enough to say this burger recipe doesn't jive give in my brain

however your extensive description leads me to believe that id like it

i just cant follow some of the steps.

im still not sure what a collard green is, and im 39, 40 in october, and then like, uhh a lot of other things

but thank you for coming out

i've never made it, but thinking about a good collared green profile and a burger i could see how it would be copasetic. but greens require work and time and burgers do not, so they don't really jive unless you happen to have a pot of collared greens in your fridge at all times

Entorwellian
Jun 30, 2006
I like my burgs with sauteed onion and mushrooms, mustard, bell peppers and lettuce/spinach. I'll put a tomato slice on it if its available.

BAGS FLY AT NOON
Apr 6, 2011

Sounds like a good burger op but I’m removing a star for listing your toppings top to bottom. ISO 6969 clearly states that burg stacks be listed bottom to top.

Anyway my go-to at home is toasted potato bun, romaine, 80/20 BEEF seasoned w/ salt n freshly cracked pep, cheese (preferably American for melt), tom, some kind of pickle (preferably jalaps or banana pepps, but I’ll use whatever we got that isn’t bread n butter), red onoion, top with other half of toasted potato bun. I’m not really a sauce on burgs guy as I prefer to let the meat do the talking.

Smugworth
Apr 18, 2003

Shrugworth
Boil em mash em stick em in a stew

DicktheCat
Feb 15, 2011

Rubber Chicken posted:

My favorite burger build is

Fat patty, medium
Cheese
Bacon
BBQ sauce
Onions, probably fried maybe sauteed
A nice quality but soft bun


Others are fine too but that's my favorite

This is a good burg.:burger:

I like the onions done up really thin and fried as onion straws.


Regular burger with a fried egg is also a good choice.

Panic! At The Tesco
Aug 19, 2005

FART


big juicy burg
slice of black pudding
fried egg

Deep Glove Bruno
Sep 4, 2015

yung swamp thang
we make homemade buttermilk buns. good but not fancy beef from a butcher shop with lots of seasoning. then i thow 18 month cheddar, a tomato slice and mayonnaise and ketchup on ere

500excf type r
Mar 7, 2013

My perfect burger is just jalapeno cheese rolls with mayo and onion on a 1/3rd lb 85/15 burger cooked in bacon grease (white American cheese, the bacon is optional)

AARD VARKMAN
May 17, 1993
my favorite is a patty melt on Texas toast with sauteed onions, bacon, Swiss, mayo and mustard

TrashMammal
Nov 10, 2022

GhostofJohnMuir posted:

have a pot of collared greens in your fridge at all times

:hmmyes:

cumpantry
Dec 18, 2020

beef tomato shredded lettuce colbyjack cheese pickles ketchup mustard diced onion

or

beef swiss cheese mushrooms grilled onions and mayo

p much just these two whenever. out of a normal package i manage like 2 burgers for myself and an unseasoned cooked one for the boy

cumpantry
Dec 18, 2020

oh seasoning is almost always just salt black pepper and msg. but ive been known to sometimes use red pepper or smoked pap instead

cumpantry
Dec 18, 2020

BTW toasting your buns is so 2000 and late, put them in the air fryer next time

Dandywalken
Feb 11, 2014

French onion soup mix still isnt bad imo, but now i just do salt and black pepper

MrQwerty
Apr 15, 2003


collards are the best

Panic! At The Tesco
Aug 19, 2005

FART


cumpantry posted:

BTW toasting your buns is so 2000 and late, put them in the air fryer next time

brioche buns seem to be current thing for burgies and they loving suck imo

Deep Glove Bruno
Sep 4, 2015

yung swamp thang

cumpantry posted:

oh seasoning is almost always just salt black pepper and msg. but ive been known to sometimes use red pepper or smoked pap instead

i didn't know there was "seasoning" like that i just make my own - garlic, onion, salt, pepper

cumpantry
Dec 18, 2020

Panic! At The Tesco posted:

brioche buns seem to be current thing for burgies and they loving suck imo

theyre sugary and strange. potato is top tier, sesame and ciabatta are really good too. but hell im not picky ill make a burg with some poo poo wheat storebrand buns

Deep Glove Bruno
Sep 4, 2015

yung swamp thang
homemade, dense, not foamy or cakey or sweet, buns from a regular or buttermilk recipe feels like living in luxury i will never know

cumpantry
Dec 18, 2020

i used to live near a mennonite village and the bakery there produces the tastiest buns ive ever had. i think they were potato but ive never had potato that good.

Haverchuck
May 6, 2005

the coolest
is "black & bleu" a popular style? A place I used to go to had one: beef patty with lettuce tomato bacon, blue cheese dressing + crumbles. I think the "black" is from a small amount of blackening seasoning on the patty

cumpantry
Dec 18, 2020

blackened seasoning is really drat good on burgers too wow i should swing by the grocery today...

Aesop Poprock
Oct 21, 2008


Grimey Drawer

Haverchuck posted:

is "black & bleu" a popular style? A place I used to go to had one: beef patty with lettuce tomato bacon, blue cheese dressing + crumbles. I think the "black" is from a small amount of blackening seasoning on the patty

I used to get it a lot in the 2000s but I feel like it's been relegated to diner menus for the most part

TrashMammal
Nov 10, 2022

rice burger is another solid one
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TWoEcVMaN6k

Bonzo
Mar 11, 2004

Just like Mama used to make it!
hiding mustard and pickles under the beef patty is a crime.

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Aesop Poprock
Oct 21, 2008


Grimey Drawer

Bonzo posted:

hiding mustard and pickles under the beef patty is a crime.

I like mustard on burgers but agree on the pickles

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