|
sweets are the cocaine of children and the crack cocaine of hyperactive children. if you're a real life adult and not a group of children stacked on top each others shoulders little rascals style you've probably consumed candy at least a dozen times today because you can afford it with your totally real job that grown ups do. I once ate a potato that turned out to be a bee and since then I've vowed to eat candy every day because a bee couldnt hide in a jolly rancher. They wouldnt call them jolly ranchers if they had bees hiding in them. elderly people hate their grandchildren so they use their government candy stipend to buy terrible chocolates and hard candy that tastes like candles that they call "potpourri" so they can trick stupid kids into hating candy. John Candy was an actor who died from eating too much candy so they named him that instead of John Cocaine or John Drove Off a Cliff, names which would've sold a lot less tickets to Uncle Buck or the Silent Partner. The Big Rock Candy Mountain wouldve just been the Big Mountain or more like the Hill We All Ignore if it wasn't infested with the mold that turns rocks into rock candy. Lou Reed wrote I Want Candy because he didn't have candy but imagine if he did what would he want then? Probably more candy
|
#
?
Sep 20, 2024 06:37
|
|
|
|
| # ? Oct 15, 2024 22:32 |
|
|
Think I'll start hiding bees inside jolly ranchers
|
|
#
?
Sep 20, 2024 06:51
|
|
|
The song “I want candy” is actually about wanting dick. Please keep that in mind when playing it at children’s parties.
|
|
#
?
Sep 20, 2024 09:02
|
|
|
This van smells funny
|
|
#
?
Sep 20, 2024 09:05
|
|
|
Did you know you can make candy by mixing potatoes with sugar? The bees are good for protein
|
|
#
?
Sep 20, 2024 11:22
|
|
|
https://i.makeagif.com/media/1-20-2023/hWMITa.mp4
|
|
#
?
Sep 20, 2024 13:15
|
|
|
Where's the loving candy?
|
|
#
?
Sep 20, 2024 13:17
|
|
|
What did Candy do? What's their crime?
|
|
#
?
Sep 20, 2024 13:18
|
|
|
Without Candy Kong you couldn't save your game.
|
|
#
?
Sep 20, 2024 13:39
|
|
|
"Candy doesn't cause hyperactive activity in children" world's stupidest scientists report.
|
|
#
?
Sep 20, 2024 13:43
|
|
|
Sorry OP, no thanks. I'm dieting.
|
|
#
?
Sep 20, 2024 13:53
|
|
|
twix and kitkat good hersheys.... yuck!
|
|
#
?
Sep 20, 2024 14:18
|
|
|
cumpantry posted:twix and kitkat good this
|
|
#
?
Sep 20, 2024 14:51
|
|
|
Heath Bars and Werthers (Sugar Free)
|
|
#
?
Sep 20, 2024 14:55
|
|
|
|
|
#
?
Sep 20, 2024 15:10
|
|
|
cumpantry posted:twix and kitkat good My stepson doesn’t like Twix or KitKat and I’m like wtf kid but also that means more for me
|
|
#
?
Sep 20, 2024 15:12
|
|
|
Candy was framed!
|
|
#
?
Sep 20, 2024 15:12
|
|
|
redshirt posted:Heath Bars these are really good in the fridge, and 100 grand
|
|
#
?
Sep 20, 2024 15:15
|
|
|
Just moved into an apartment where I expect to see zero trick-or-treaters, so all this candy is 100% going in my fat belly.
|
|
#
?
Sep 20, 2024 16:12
|
|
|
Eating some Starburst jellybeans rn.
|
|
#
?
Sep 20, 2024 16:13
|
|
|
I want candy, bubble gum, and taffy Skip to the sweet shop with my sweetheart Sandy Got my pennies saved so I'm her sugar daddy I'm her Hume Cronyn and she's my Jessica Tandy, I want candy! Mess up the mix, mix up the mess Come on down yo, here's the address At 6-1-2 Wharf Avenue, Right next to, gentlemen's club.
|
|
#
?
Sep 20, 2024 16:16
|
|
|
|
|
#
?
Sep 20, 2024 16:18
|
|
|
Thanks nana
|
|
#
?
Sep 20, 2024 16:25
|
|
|
These things own.
|
|
#
?
Sep 20, 2024 16:25
|
|
|
Grey Cat posted:These things own. The original ones own. They make ones now that are just cheap copies.
|
|
#
?
Sep 20, 2024 16:35
|
|
|
Circus Peanuts are the worst candy ever invented
|
|
#
?
Sep 20, 2024 16:36
|
|
|
First:  Second: I like them there candies what are gummi
|
|
#
?
Sep 20, 2024 16:43
|
|
|
Good content but I am critical of your formatting, OP
|
|
#
?
Sep 20, 2024 16:45
|
|
|
Jelly posted:Good content but I am critical of your formatting, OP Think of it like beat poetry
|
|
#
?
Sep 20, 2024 16:45
|
|
|
redshirt posted:Circus Peanuts are the best candy ever invented
|
|
#
?
Sep 20, 2024 19:51
|
|
|
circus peanuts are ok, i like those chunky orange gummies that are like a billion grams of sugar each
|
|
#
?
Sep 20, 2024 20:19
|
|
|
At about 20 years old my friends and I went Trick or Treating. My friend's parents were gone so we were partying at his place, drinking beer, smoking weed. Someone suggested we should go get some candy. My friend had a box of halloween masks and costumes in the garage. To be honest, it was not very good. We went one block over and hit up about 7 houses. Everyone answering the door were all, "Aren't you a bit old for this?" We started kneeling to look shorter when we rang the doorbell. They all gave us candy though.
|
|
#
?
Sep 20, 2024 21:14
|
|
|
Grey Cat posted:These things own. YEAH. I love that everyone hates them and I get them all!
|
|
#
?
Sep 20, 2024 21:21
|
|
|
I forgot the greatest/most horrifying Trick or Treat triumph ever. Our group of 7; family and neighbor kids were out running the route. We were doing well. We'd been to the rich part of the area where they handed out full size Hershey bars and such. Two random kids we ran into wanted to join our group, so, okay... sure. After a bit they tried to grab the candy bags from two of our group and make a run for it. They did not make it. We knocked them down, getting our stuff back, taking their candy as well. They got kicked while on the ground a few times. It was vicious. Lesson: Do not gently caress with other kids Halloween candy.
|
|
#
?
Sep 20, 2024 21:38
|
|
|
Thank you but I'm a loving ADULT, I'll stick to an energy drink every hour.
|
|
#
?
Sep 20, 2024 22:15
|
|
|
Haribo. Grown-ups love it so – the happy world of Haribo.
|
|
#
?
Sep 20, 2024 22:26
|
|
|
The Reeces half of the candy bowl will go pumpkins-trees-eggs for the next six months.
|
|
#
?
Sep 20, 2024 23:45
|
|
|
redshirt posted:Heath Bars and Werthers (Sugar Free) Skor is the superior toffee
|
|
#
?
Sep 21, 2024 05:13
|
|
|
|
| # ? Oct 15, 2024 22:32 |
|
|
Are chocolate confections really candy, though?....
|
|
#
?
Sep 21, 2024 05:29
|
|