|
I've never been to jail. I feel like I'm missing out on a broad spectrum of human experience. What can I do to get arrested that won't gently caress up my life too badly and won't hurt anyone? Drunk in public? Steal a cop's hat?
|
#
?
Nov 10, 2024 03:15
|
|
|
|
| # ? Dec 5, 2024 09:53 |
|
|
Have you considered simply walking into a police station and asking to be incarcerated?
|
|
#
?
Nov 10, 2024 03:17
|
|
|
Shoot a cop (USER WAS PUT ON PROBATION FOR THIS POST)
|
|
#
?
Nov 10, 2024 03:17
|
|
|
wash bucket posted:I've never been to jail. I feel like I'm missing out on a broad spectrum of human experience. Stand on the sidewalk and smoke a joint until you get arrested. If you're in a legal state, try getting balls-out hosed up on mushrooms and go nuts in public till you get picked up and hospitalized or arrested. Also, let me guess. You're white, cis, and male, right?
|
|
#
?
Nov 10, 2024 03:17
|
|
|
you're not missing out on any positive life experience
|
|
#
?
Nov 10, 2024 03:18
|
|
|
Hasselblad posted:Have you considered simply walking into a police station and asking to be incarcerated? this only works if you're black
|
|
#
?
Nov 10, 2024 03:18
|
|
|
One of those sweet rear end Norwegian jails? Hell yeah.
|
|
#
?
Nov 10, 2024 03:19
|
|
|
I heard the food is pretty bad.
|
|
#
?
Nov 10, 2024 03:19
|
|
|
wash bucket posted:I've never been to jail. I feel like I'm missing out on a broad spectrum of human experience. Don't. As whitecismale it's humiliating and uncomfortable, your basic sense of empathy should inform you that you need to be better to people less well off than you, you don't need to go to jail to confirm this.
|
|
#
?
Nov 10, 2024 03:22
|
|
|
They give you rubber pencils which hurt your hands to write with and Playstation games rated E for everyone, but just like generic run and jump games or puzzle games.
|
|
#
?
Nov 10, 2024 03:23
|
|
|
wash bucket posted:Steal a cop's hat? Jeremor posted:Shoot a cop These are essentially treated as the same crime in that 40 cops will instantly arrive on scene to murder you
|
|
#
?
Nov 10, 2024 03:23
|
|
|
redshirt posted:One of those sweet rear end Norwegian jails? Hell yeah. They have to give you a PlayStation or its considered a human rights abuse or something
|
|
#
?
Nov 10, 2024 03:23
|
|
|
Find somebody that looks like you who is about to go to jail and take his place.
|
|
#
?
Nov 10, 2024 03:24
|
|
|
Thesaurus posted:They have to give you a PlayStation or its considered a human rights abuse or something Yeah but it's a ps2 and they only give you rated e games so they might as well be waterboarding you
|
|
#
?
Nov 10, 2024 03:24
|
|
|
Aesop Poprock posted:Yeah but it's a ps2 and they only give you rated e games so they might as well be waterboarding you You're not wrong: quote:Inmates on the prison island of Bastoey, south of Oslo, are free to walk around in a village-style setting, tending to farm animals. They ski, cook, play tennis, play cards. They have their own beach, and even run the ferry taking people to and from the island. And in the afternoon when most prison staff go home, only a handful of guards are left to watch the 115 prisoners.
|
|
#
?
Nov 10, 2024 03:28
|
|
|
Thesaurus posted:You're not wrong: I honestly can't even remember an E rated PS2 game
|
|
#
?
Nov 10, 2024 03:32
|
|
|
I only spent a single night in jail before bailing myself out, but it wasn't fun. I was sober but got put in the drunk tank due to crowding. Like 10 minutes later a bona fide drunk dude shows up and spent the rest of the night going on about conspiracies. The bed was also uncomfortable. Maybe actual jail time is better after building some comradery with the boys and an actual bed with a mattress. Now community service was another story. It was oddly fun and hilarious most of the time.
|
|
#
?
Nov 10, 2024 03:33
|
|
|
That's it. I've decided that I'm going to Norway to commit crimes for realquote:The 44-year-old right-wing extremist now has three personal rooms to himself: a living room, a study room and a small gym.
|
|
#
?
Nov 10, 2024 03:34
|
|
|
Kirk Vikernes posted:I only spent a single night in jail before bailing myself out, but it wasn't fun. I was sober but got put in the drunk tank due to crowding. Like 10 minutes later a bona fide drunk dude shows up and spent the rest of the night going on about conspiracies. The bed was also uncomfortable. Maybe actual jail time is better after building some comradery with the boys and an actual bed with a mattress. community service is just doin light jobsite work while loving around with a bunch of other people who are there because they're in trouble too, so you all have an instant icebreaker. i've only spent about a week in jail, total, and i never walked out of there with better opinions of my fellow inmates, COs, cops, myself, or the system in general.
|
|
#
?
Nov 10, 2024 03:36
|
|
|
My time spent incarcerated was no joke the best years of my life. I worked out all day, I hung out with every type of person, including physicists, doctors, murderers, meth cooks, conspiracy nuts. Watched movies on the weekend. Started a book club. Got my associates degree while in. There was a period leading up to COVID that I was going through some real bad real-life poo poo and considered doing something to get me thrown back in. I'm glad I didn't for a number of obvious reasons, but the biggest one is that I'm a white guy, and there are weird politics that apply to white people in jail, and Trump would have empowered the gently caress out of the white supremacists to a degree that I think would have made the entire experience unbearable. So my advice is, if you're white: get incarcerated sometime before the Trump administration. You're going to have a fuckin experience, whether you're in for a month or a year or a few years. Don't do like a weekend thing; part of the experience is the hopelessness. You need to watch from the inside as your life disintegrates on the outside. As long as you don't get tatted up and don't get too institutionalized, you'll come out like a phoenix, a better person all around, with a new healthy disdain for cops in all form.
|
|
#
?
Nov 10, 2024 03:37
|
|
|
If I've learnt anything from the Ask/Tell threads over the years, you want to commit a Federal crime and land in a Federal Prison. Also the apparent bonus is you can totes lie about going to prison afterwards on job applications because most of them cheap out and only check state level?
|
|
#
?
Nov 10, 2024 03:38
|
|
|
The best crime (other than white collar financial crimes of course) is robbing a bank with absolutely no weapons - like empty pockets. If you get any money during the heist it becomes a Federal crime, and they'll send you to the nice prison upstate.
|
|
#
?
Nov 10, 2024 03:38
|
|
|
stab some dude
|
|
#
?
Nov 10, 2024 03:38
|
|
|
redshirt posted:The best crime (other than white collar financial crimes of course) is robbing a bank with absolutely no weapons - like empty pockets. If you get any money during the heist it becomes a Federal crime, and they'll send you to the nice prison upstate.
|
|
#
?
Nov 10, 2024 03:40
|
|
|
If you are imprisoned the chances that one of your fellow inmates has extreme magical ability is pretty high. You should consider how best to harness that power over the next decade but know at the end you'll still be incarcerated. With just a couple dollars from your commissary you can make friends with someone who has unimaginable eldritch powers.
|
|
#
?
Nov 10, 2024 03:41
|
|
|
I think this is an attainable goal.
|
|
#
?
Nov 10, 2024 03:44
|
|
|
you could get a job in a jail and earn money while you experience what it’s like, then offer to trade places with an inmate for a while to get a taste of their side, as long as they promise to switch back with you when you’re done of course
|
|
#
?
Nov 10, 2024 03:47
|
|
|
Have you considered regicide?
|
|
#
?
Nov 10, 2024 03:50
|
|
|
Get convicted of insider trading for selling $45k shares of ImClone stock op https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6blC6bsgZmc
|
|
#
?
Nov 10, 2024 03:58
|
|
|
ZemblaRex posted:Have you considered regicide? Yes. Those Saudi Kings are real well defended.
|
|
#
?
Nov 10, 2024 03:59
|
|
|
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IOcoYwbnuTo
|
|
#
?
Nov 10, 2024 03:59
|
|
|
Jeremor posted:Shoot a cop
|
|
#
?
Nov 10, 2024 04:04
|
|
|
I memba that episode of Trailer Park Boys
|
|
#
?
Nov 10, 2024 04:05
|
|
|
Knormal posted:Cop a feel reported
|
|
#
?
Nov 10, 2024 04:05
|
|
|
Even better, rob a Federal Reserve Bank. There's a big one in Boston, for example. They may not have any actual money, but that's ok!
|
|
#
?
Nov 10, 2024 04:07
|
|
|
Feed a cops horse popcorn OP.
|
|
#
?
Nov 10, 2024 04:18
|
|
|
Kirk Vikernes posted:I only spent a single night in jail before bailing myself out, but it wasn't fun. I was sober but got put in the drunk tank due to crowding. Like 10 minutes later a bona fide drunk dude shows up and spent the rest of the night going on about conspiracies. The bed was also uncomfortable. Maybe actual jail time is better after building some comradery with the boys and an actual bed with a mattress. The one time I got community service I just sent money to a pet charity in Florida and they emailed me a receipt saying I'd done 200 hours
|
|
#
?
Nov 10, 2024 04:18
|
|
|
Knormal posted:Cop a feel that also has a good chance to put you in jail
|
|
#
?
Nov 10, 2024 04:19
|
|
|
OP have you considered killing and eating a cow in your backyard?Shitfucker posted:You know how people have pig roasts with a pig on a stick over a fire? Well I want to do that but with a cow, in my backyard, in suburban columbus,OH for a party. I can obtain a reasonably healthy cow from a friend for $200 and I know some hunters who would be willing to dress the carcass. So i guess, what would be the lagality of doing this in my backyard, I have no where else to do it.
|
|
#
?
Nov 10, 2024 04:19
|
|
|
|
| # ? Dec 5, 2024 09:53 |
|
|
Hasselblad posted:Have you considered simply walking into a police station and asking to be incarcerated? would they actually do that if you asked? it's not something ive ever considered doing because im not batshit insane but would they lock you up if you just go in and request a sixer irl?
|
|
#
?
Nov 10, 2024 04:21
|
|