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Sweaty IT Nerd
Jul 13, 2007

I would very much like to hear any baby story you have.

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Negostrike
Aug 15, 2015
Probation
Can't post for 6 days!
My half-siblings were extremely chill babies, didn't cry much, no tantrums. Super good babies if I may say so.

Larry Cum Free
Jun 3, 2022

move it or lose it dillweed
What are you looking to spend?

Sweaty IT Nerd
Jul 13, 2007

Larry Cum Free posted:

What are you looking to spend?

So it begins

Drone_Fragger
May 9, 2007


I have two good babs, one is nearly 6 and loves cars and fire engines and machinery in general, and the other is nearly three and is some kind of adorable gremlin terrorist hybrid who lives to steal.

Sweaty IT Nerd
Jul 13, 2007

Drone_Fragger posted:

I have two good babs, one is nearly 6 and loves cars and fire engines and machinery in general, and the other is nearly three and is some kind of adorable gremlin terrorist hybrid who lives to steal.

Drone_Fragger
May 9, 2007


I left her in the playroom for two minutes to have a piss and when i got back she had moved two separate chairs into the kitchen to try and climb onto the counter to steal and drink (neat) squash from a cupboard.

Another time we found a bunch of biscuits behind the sofa and found out shed been able to get into the biscuit tin without us realising and was half eating them and then hiding the evidence.

Also whenever she can get access to the garage she immediately seeks out tubs of washers and sprinkles them onto the floor as theyre pretty.

Blood Shart
Sep 23, 2010

Mine was good but he was kidnapped and replaced with a teething monster that lives to destroy nipples.

We still love him lots though :allears:

Sweaty IT Nerd
Jul 13, 2007


I wanted to ask why you have tubs of washers but that does sound like a good baby

Paul Zuvella
Dec 7, 2011

My daughter stood up for the first time yesterday and got her first teeth in this morning.

Sweaty IT Nerd
Jul 13, 2007

Paul Zuvella posted:

My daughter stood up for the first time yesterday and got her first teeth in this morning.

Outstanding.

Smugworth
Apr 18, 2003

We have good babies
Unfortunately one turned into a toddler but the other one is still a good baby

ChickenHeart
Nov 28, 2007

Take me at your own risk.

Kiss From a Hog
These babbys were pretty well behaved



Oh, you mean human babies? No, they've all been poop factories who never allow you to sleep normally again

The Loin King
Feb 16, 2017

Check out this goddamned cat

Larry Cum Free posted:

What are you looking to spend?

Fatkraken
Jun 23, 2005

Fun-time is over.
my baby is great thanks, he's started smiling and laughing and he likes to grab cloths and chew on them

SopWATh
Jun 1, 2000
Mine got off to a rough start, allergic to milk proteins so anything outside of the super-ultra processed formula gave her violently explosive diarrhea (she poo poo on the ceiling once around 7 months old)

She's outgrown that and is now a kind and caring 9 year old with a sly wit and sarcastic sense of humor. (just like her old man) She's also, objectively, the smartest person in her school, probably the district, and her teachers literally cannot give her enough learning material to keep up with her intellect. She's not a Sheldon Cooper type "genius" but mother of God I don't know what to do with her learning path. She's a decent soccer player and loves horses but staunchly refuses to try hard when she has to clean manure out of their hooves.

Das Boo
Jun 9, 2011

There was a GHOST here.
It's gone now.

ChickenHeart posted:

These babbys were pretty well behaved



Oh, you mean human babies? No, they've all been poop factories who never allow you to sleep normally again

Um, these are not good babies, these are best babies. Mods?

Toxic Mental
Jun 1, 2019

how is good babby formed

The Bramble
Mar 16, 2004

My toddler has decided “too many” is the amount of goldfish snacks he wants in his cup. Any amount we, the parents, don’t make a big deal about by saying “oh no! That’s too many goldfish!!” causes a crying meltdown where he screams “I want too many!!”

Szechwan
Jun 10, 2023
I have a little lady due to show up sometime this week.. First time, wish me luck!

Hit me with your best parent sleep hack plz

Szyznyk
Mar 4, 2008

My baby is 5 and enormous, wearing 10/12 clothes. WNBA here she comes.

Tao of the Machine
Sep 24, 2024
When my daughter was 3 or 4 she came home from somewhere to find me sitting on the couch holding a chocolate bar. She climbed up me, maintaining eye contact the entire time, took it out of my hand and climbed down.

She was completely silent the entire time, you know, so I wouldn’t notice.

Tao of the Machine
Sep 24, 2024

Szechwan posted:

I have a little lady due to show up sometime this week.. First time, wish me luck!

Hit me with your best parent sleep hack plz

Two best sleep tips.

1. Take any opportunity to nap if she’s down and you get the chance. Don’t think about anything dumb like “it’s only going to be 90 minutes” it will massively help when you are on the point of collapse and she’s decided it’s party time.

2 Completely abandon the idea your house needs to be perfectly clean and tidy. Tell anyone that complains about it to gently caress off.

Monstaland
Sep 23, 2003

My three year old daughter is pretty cool. Even though she can be a little fascist during the day, around seven she calls it a day and says she's tired and wants to go to bed without any fight or tantrum.

By popular demand
Jul 17, 2007

IT *BZZT* WASP ME--
IT WASP ME ALL *BZZT* ALONG!


Never trust a good baby, they grow to be bad men.:colbert:

Poohs Packin
Jan 13, 2019

We have a 2 week old and she's good but has been hogging all the tiddies.

She's also huge.

cumpantry
Dec 18, 2020

stupid baby's, what are they good for

Jimlit
Jun 30, 2005



Szechwan posted:

I have a little lady due to show up sometime this week.. First time, wish me luck!

Hit me with your best parent sleep hack plz

unless you hit the baby jackpot just embrace being low on sleep for 2-3 months. I'm not a napper at all so the whole "sleep while the baby sleeps" was a non-starter for me. The hardest part is honestly the hospital, the nurses are like 100 times worse than any baby.

for a "hack", Invest in a good baby swing they are worth every dollar.

Jimlit fucked around with this message at 15:00 on Nov 13, 2024

Escape From Noise
Jul 27, 2004

A baby smiled at me a bunch on the train recently.

A few weeks ago another kid who was almost 1 stood up in his stroller in the trdin and kept putting his hand on my stomach and laughing. Maybe I was fat shamed by a baby?

Escape From Noise fucked around with this message at 15:09 on Nov 13, 2024

Total Party Kill
Aug 25, 2005

My four month old only woke up twice last night. I went to bed at 9:30 and woke up at 6, so... pretty good.

She just started laughing a few weeks ago so that helps.

R.L. Stine
Oct 19, 2007
when i met my wife she had a six month old girl and i was like well i'm gonna have to get my poo poo together then. it was p scary at first because i barely even hung out with babies to begin with and all of a sudden i had to make sure one didn't die on my watch.

ended up ok though, she's a teenager now which is worse

Dumb Sex-Parrot
Dec 24, 2020

Crime: Posting cat sixers
Punishment: TRUMP approves

ChickenHeart posted:

These babbys were pretty well behaved



Oh, you mean human babies? No, they've all been poop factories who never allow you to sleep normally again

Worf
Sep 12, 2017

i'm OBSESSED with quibbling over minutiae!!!!!!!!
i have a cool gaming rig

AKA Pseudonym
May 16, 2004

A dashing and sophisticated young man
Doctor Rope
The first time my parents left me with a baby sitter I cried so much she called the theater and had them get my parents to come home. So they brought up the lights right in middle of Close Encounters of the Third Kind and announced that the baby sitter needed them to come home.

So basically I managed to ruin a movie for whole theater remotely.

HenryJLittlefinger
Jan 31, 2010

stomp clap


I've got a real good baby, she smiles a whole lot and laughs really loud and she and her 6 year old sister just screech back and forth at each other like a couple jacked up parakeets. We think her first official word is her sister's name and at 6 months old was already hugging.

Anderson Koopa
Jun 9, 2006

all is right with the world especially as I lay waste to my fellow IKs
Grimey Drawer
My eight year old just said "drat it" for the first time yesterday lol. My wife and I are both wondering which one of he learned it from lol.

He was a terrible baby though. Always wanted to be carried, and would yell loudly at you if you put him down.

Cassette Moodcore
May 4, 2022

My wife had cholestasis during pregnancy which was extremely awful for her and there were a lot of hospital visits and caused other issues to develop like pre eclampsia and our kid had to be born early which lead to a host of problems including extra surgery on my wife and then she had so much blood loss we had to use formula and if you know anything about that there's a huge shame against women who don't breast feed, and then part of all of this is our child had a host of problems including a dairy allergy and wheat allergy so if you know formula you know formula is expensive but the dairy free formula is even more expensive. And on top of all of this, which is one of the worst parts our daughter had colic and I'd be lying if I said there weren't days I don't remember of my daughter being a baby because of everything going on and the colic, the constant crying was heartbreaking along with my wife recovering.

I say this to say yes I had a quote unquote not good baby, but I say this to say after getting past that point and watching her grow and have her own personality and even though parenting sucks a lot and is difficult a lot of parents aren't like our boomer parents and we spend time and help our kids grow and personally I wouldn't change it for anything but I completely understand why someone would not want kids especially the financial part and how the world is shaping

Stick in there baby parent goons you got this

Thesaurus
Oct 3, 2004


I'm laying with my good toddler baby right now while he naps.

My babies are/were terrible sleepers, extremely loud screamers, and just need to be held all of the time, shriek if set down, even when they get big and unwieldy. The current baby refuses to ride in strollers ever (only wants to be carried in my arms), and refuses to sit in his booster seat (only wants to sit on my lap to eat).

But that's okay, because it's good to be the parent of those good babies!

Poohs Packin
Jan 13, 2019

Cassette Moodcore posted:

My wife had cholestasis during pregnancy which was extremely awful for her and there were a lot of hospital visits and caused other issues to develop like pre eclampsia and our kid had to be born early which lead to a host of problems including extra surgery on my wife and then she had so much blood loss we had to use formula and if you know anything about that there's a huge shame against women who don't breast feed, and then part of all of this is our child had a host of problems including a dairy allergy and wheat allergy so if you know formula you know formula is expensive but the dairy free formula is even more expensive. And on top of all of this, which is one of the worst parts our daughter had colic and I'd be lying if I said there weren't days I don't remember of my daughter being a baby because of everything going on and the colic, the constant crying was heartbreaking along with my wife recovering.

I say this to say yes I had a quote unquote not good baby, but I say this to say after getting past that point and watching her grow and have her own personality and even though parenting sucks a lot and is difficult a lot of parents aren't like our boomer parents and we spend time and help our kids grow and personally I wouldn't change it for anything but I completely understand why someone would not want kids especially the financial part and how the world is shaping

Stick in there baby parent goons you got this

I wanted to roundhouse kick the breastfeeding consultant in the head for the way she spoke to my wife after an emergency c-section.

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Cassette Moodcore
May 4, 2022

Poohs Packin posted:

I wanted to roundhouse kick the breastfeeding consultant in the head for the way she spoke to my wife after an emergency c-section.

I swear that job is just a card and it says how miserable are you from 1-10 and they only hire 8+

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