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I'm a vampire for jizz. Do I need to elaborate further? They call me the Sperm Count. Jackula, if you will. Nosferatuah. Bram Stroker. Vlad the Impaled. Carl "I Hope This Guy Didn't Just Eat Garlic" the Vampire. But most people just call me the Sexsanguinator. My favorite movies and books include: Twilight Blew Moon Stephen King's Skeetwalkers 30 Days of Nut Interview with the Vampire but on that porn couch I would be considered a predator if not for my surplus of consenual supply. In the 50s I could only cruise at night. In the 2020s I have Grindr Plus. Come at me with a crucifix and I'll suck off Jesus too. With me is my sidekick Coffin Boffer and together put the vein in the Transylvania. We'll tell the Clit Witch and Mummy Milkers you said hi.
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# ? Feb 7, 2025 21:09 |
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Hi I'm grandpa
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I prefer "30 days of no nut"
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caspergers posted:I'm a vampire for jizz. Do I need to elaborate further? They call me the Sperm Count. Jackula, if you will. Nosferatuah. Bram Stroker. Vlad the Impaled. Carl "I Hope This Guy Didn't Just Eat Garlic" the Vampire. But most people just call me the Sexsanguinator. Not that funny.
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Wizard Master posted:Not that funny. Don't hate me cuz
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Suck dicks till dawn
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I, personally, think this is the sort of take on the classic "ate my balls" format we both need AND deserve
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imagine cumming blood and bleeding cum. im grateful its not like that
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No Varney? Not interested
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dreezy posted:imagine cumming blood and bleeding cum. im grateful its not like that i'm sure it'd work itself out
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Great. Why not.
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if you’re a vampire how come you have a ghost sounding name?
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go rub dongs with your daddy
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R.L. Stine posted:go rub dongs with your daddy Adult Goosebumps somehow turning out to be both more and less than I expected
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caspergers posted:I'm a vampire for jizz. Do I need to elaborate further? They call me the Sperm Count. Jackula, if you will. Nosferatuah. Bram Stroker. Vlad the Impaled. Carl "I Hope This Guy Didn't Just Eat Garlic" the Vampire. But most people just call me the Sexsanguinator. "Count Ejacula" was right there, dude.
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btw it's grindr XTRA
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Bad Purchase posted:if you’re a vampire how come you have a ghost sounding name? Cuz I'm not an actual vampire, I'm just completely ravenous for jizz. The Carl the Vampire thing is just a coincidence Astrochicken posted:btw it's grindr XTRA AHHHH gently caress i was thinking of sniffies plus
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Should have put more effort into the dick sucking puns IMHO, OP. But you put in some effort (maybe a little too much on length) so I'll give it a 2.
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istewart posted:Adult Goosebumps somehow turning out to be both more and less than I expected Escape while you can David schwimmer.
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Oh wow, a bib AND a collar. Nice.
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Uncle Grandpa
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Have you met Doctor Wankenstein's Monster?
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dreezy posted:imagine cumming blood and bleeding cum. im grateful its not like that wait you don't do that????
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*Continues lobbing, inefectivly*
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We already told you, the Dick Sucking factory is not taking any more workers at this time. We will keep your resume on file and let you know if there's an opening, now please vacate the premises.
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jazz vampire. it's about the necks you don't bite
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one time I had a dream that I was a ketchup vampire
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Chad the Impailer
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LOL!!!!
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By popular demand posted:We already told you, the Dick Sucking factory is not taking any more workers at this time. Then I'll just start up my own dick sucking factory, you'll see!!!
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what kind is your favorite
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the kind with no garlic
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Stoatbringer posted:Have you met Doctor Wankenstein's Monster? Came here to post this joke. Thread doesn't need me. Guess I'll just fuckin leave
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Stoatbringer posted:Have you met Doctor Wankenstein's Monster? Franken-FINE ![]()
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Tossferatu
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Count Spaffula
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Onion article I’m Not Gay But All These Vampires Keep Sucking My Jizz
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Brings new meaning to "let the right one in"
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Vlad gay, so what
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# ? Feb 7, 2025 21:09 |
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Entorwellian posted:"Count Ejacula" was right there, dude. Um i already used count and dracula in my word bank, thank you very much. I am a proud joke-writer and will not have my integrity compromised by such redundancy.
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