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Bloodfart McCoy
Jul 20, 2007

That's a high quality avatar right there.
So I recently came into possession of an “unbuildable” lot of land in a residential neighborhood in my town. It isn’t big. Has to be less than 1/4 acre.

While I wait for more details from city hall, I’m just brainstorming of ways to profit from this garbage land. Assuming I can build anything but a permanent living structure on it, I intend to build a shrine to Goatse.

My ultimate hope is that the city will try and stop me from building this shrine and just offer to buy the land from me to get rid of me.

Anyone have any experience forcing a city to buy land from them?

Worst case scenario is they call my bluff and I actually build the thing. I guess I can get Kirk Johnson to fly in for a ribbon cutting.

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Anderson Koopa
Jun 9, 2006

all is right with the world especially as I lay waste to my fellow IKs
Grimey Drawer
Just don't stand under your sculpture while you're building it like that Blucifer guy.

frumpykvetchbot
Feb 20, 2004

PROGRESSIVE SCAN
Upset Trowel
let the Georgia Guidestones be your inspiration in terms of scale and grandeur.

with luck your shrine will be bombed too.

goatface
Dec 5, 2007

I had a video of that when I was about 6.

I remember it being shit.


Grimey Drawer
Facing toward the sky or the road?

Shamewave
Nov 25, 2024

You should definitely add a slide from the rear end in a top hat to the penis

Anderson Koopa
Jun 9, 2006

all is right with the world especially as I lay waste to my fellow IKs
Grimey Drawer

Shamewave posted:

You should definitely add a slide from the rear end in a top hat to the penis

The penis could be a slide!

Make it into a playground.

WILDTURKEY101
Mar 7, 2005
I regret to inform you that Mr. Johnson passed away quite a while ago.

Sophy Wackles
Dec 17, 2000

> access main security grid
access: PERMISSION DENIED.





Use the land to store nuclear waste. Stamp the waste barrels with goatse.

frumpykvetchbot
Feb 20, 2004

PROGRESSIVE SCAN
Upset Trowel
make a drive through path like those old redwood tree tunnels.

dreezy
Mar 4, 2015

yeah, rip.

they said if you build it he will come.

im him

Bloodfart McCoy
Jul 20, 2007

That's a high quality avatar right there.

WILDTURKEY101 posted:

I regret to inform you that Mr. Johnson passed away quite a while ago.

I thought he was still alive!

Funky See Funky Do
Aug 20, 2013
STILL TRYING HARD
Really you just need to make two big hands. You can finish the rest off with a shovel.

Bloodfart McCoy
Jul 20, 2007

That's a high quality avatar right there.
So this is a good idea to get the city to buy this land from me right?

goatface
Dec 5, 2007

I had a video of that when I was about 6.

I remember it being shit.


Grimey Drawer
No, but you might be able to sell it to a memecoin baron.

MrQwerty
Apr 15, 2003

The REoL wonder is how I even post given I cannot take my eyes of this handsome avatar.

goatface posted:

No, but you might be able to sell it to a memecoin baron.

a Barron, perhaps?

Wendigee
Jul 19, 2004

Why don't you just keep the land and wrap the entire perimeter in razor wire

Bloodfart McCoy
Jul 20, 2007

That's a high quality avatar right there.

Wendigee posted:

Why don't you just keep the land and wrap the entire perimeter in razor wire

This is kinda sexy too.

frumpykvetchbot
Feb 20, 2004

PROGRESSIVE SCAN
Upset Trowel
build a fortified compound out of combustible materials, and pepper the outside with cardboard signs containing apocalyptic prognostications and actionable threats against the ATF and IRS.

Rubber Chicken
Mar 13, 2024

[IMG-CHICKEN]
Lure someone into cutting down your trees and get rich with tree law

flubber nuts
Oct 5, 2005


whats a goat se???

Bad Purchase
Jun 17, 2019




you could become your own art installation, just go there every day and practice your stretching routine in front of everyone who passes by

Anderson Koopa
Jun 9, 2006

all is right with the world especially as I lay waste to my fellow IKs
Grimey Drawer

goatface posted:

No, but you might be able to sell it to a memecoin baron.

The original goatse.cx is now a memecoin site lol.

Funky See Funky Do
Aug 20, 2013
STILL TRYING HARD

Bloodfart McCoy posted:

So this is a good idea to get the city to buy this land from me right?

It's a great idea. The only question is whether or not you carry through with it. Be real with yourself. Do you have the materials? The time? The skill?

You might be better off just staying on the land and opening your rear end in a top hat to show everyone yourself.

dreezy
Mar 4, 2015

yeah, rip.

Bloodfart McCoy posted:

So this is a good idea to get the city to buy this land from me right?

absolutely not. this is chance for unparalleled freedom. if i had a quarter acre of real estate to do anything but build on i could think of a million stupid things to do with it and still come up with a few ways to earn enough money doing it to pay the property taxes.

get creative

Mr.Acula
May 9, 2009

Billions and billions of fat clouds

Just dig and build underground and don't tell anyone?

weg
Jun 6, 2006

Reassisted Retrogression
Make it a public park but have a very odd shaped wishing well that will make folks using Google maps lol

Internetjack
Sep 15, 2007

oh god how did this get here i am not good with computers
Top Cop

Mr.Acula posted:

Just dig and build underground and don't tell anyone?

The secret entrance is through the Goatse. Hiding it in plain sight.

Last Chance
Dec 31, 2004

put up an art installation that looks just like the stargate from stargate

Bloodfart McCoy
Jul 20, 2007

That's a high quality avatar right there.
So no one has experience extorting convincing a town to buy back useless land?

You know the more I think about it, the more this sounds like a prologue to a Killdozer sequel. Maybe pissing off my own town isn’t the best idea.
:magemage:

Escape From Noise
Jul 27, 2004

Anderson Koopa posted:

Just don't stand under your sculpture while you're building it like that Blucifer guy.

A Goatse shrine with a body count would be pretty sick TBH.

Chrs
Sep 21, 2015

Bloodfart McCoy posted:

So no one has experience extorting convincing a town to buy back useless land?

You know the more I think about it, the more this sounds like a prologue to a Killdozer sequel. Maybe pissing off my own town isn’t the best idea.
:magemage:

My Dad stole land from the council by extending his fence about 6 metres into land they didn’t care about. When they finally realised he’d done it about a year after they basically just gave him a slap on the wrist and let him keep it.

Anderson Koopa
Jun 9, 2006

all is right with the world especially as I lay waste to my fellow IKs
Grimey Drawer

Escape From Noise posted:

A Goatse shrine with a body count would be pretty sick TBH.

Lol. :agreed:

wesleywillis
Dec 30, 2016

SUCK A MALE CAMEL'S DICK WITH MIRACLE WHIP!!
Men's washroom needs urinals that are shaped like the goatman's gaping rear end that way you can piss in his rear end.

I know he'd approve.

Funky See Funky Do
Aug 20, 2013
STILL TRYING HARD
No permanent dwellings but you could open it up for the homeless to camp in? Guy Opens Area To Shelter Everybody.

Smugworth
Apr 18, 2003

I give your invention the worst grade imaginable: An A-minus-minus!

wesleywillis posted:

Men's washroom needs urinals that are shaped like the goatman's gaping rear end that way you can piss in his rear end.

I know he'd approve.

the rear end is thirsty
it's a thirsty rear end

d0s
Jun 28, 2004

you should keep it classy and understated and just place an extremely detailed and realistic 1:1 scale statue of the act depicted in hello.jpg (gap3.jpg in gap.zip) in the middle of the property. ideally it should be constructed to last for millenia

wesleywillis
Dec 30, 2016

SUCK A MALE CAMEL'S DICK WITH MIRACLE WHIP!!
Some websites have soundboards.
Goatse shrine should have a sounding board. Where you can drop all sorts of things in to a replica of the goatman's dong.

Instead of Whack-a-mole, there should be Whack-a-hole, where you have all sorts of things popping out of the goatman's rear end in a top hat and you have to "whack" them back in to place!! Can you keep up?

To recreate what it was like for the goatman to bend over and piss in his own mouth you can bend over a horizontal padded bar till you're almost bent in two, grab a hose and try to spray it in to the mouth of a fibreglass replica of the goatman's head.

If you're a real expert you can try it without the bar for the added challenge of staying balanced and on your feet while you do it.

Next you can take a water gun, and try to spray it in a replice of the goatman's rear end! If you get water in there it will inflate a dong shaped balloon! Get enough in there in a minute and the balloon dong will start to pee and you're the winner!!

Shoot pingpong balls in to the goatman's rear end to win cheap valuable prizes!! Like a Goatse plushie complete with a fistable anus!

Anderson Koopa
Jun 9, 2006

all is right with the world especially as I lay waste to my fellow IKs
Grimey Drawer

wesleywillis posted:

Some websites have soundboards.
Goatse shrine should have a sounding board. Where you can drop all sorts of things in to a replica of the goatman's dong.

Instead of Whack-a-mole, there should be Whack-a-hole, where you have all sorts of things popping out of the goatman's rear end in a top hat and you have to "whack" them back in to place!! Can you keep up?

To recreate what it was like for the goatman to bend over and piss in his own mouth you can bend over a horizontal padded bar till you're almost bent in two, grab a hose and try to spray it in to the mouth of a fibreglass replica of the goatman's head.

If you're a real expert you can try it without the bar for the added challenge of staying balanced and on your feet while you do it.

Next you can take a water gun, and try to spray it in a replice of the goatman's rear end! If you get water in there it will inflate a dong shaped balloon! Get enough in there in a minute and the balloon dong will start to pee and you're the winner!!

Shoot pingpong balls in to the goatman's rear end to win cheap valuable prizes!! Like a Goatse plushie complete with a fistable anus!

:hmmyes:

This is the hard hitting content I come to GBS for.

Bloodfart McCoy
Jul 20, 2007

That's a high quality avatar right there.

Funky See Funky Do posted:

No permanent dwellings but you could open it up for the homeless to camp in? Guy Opens Area To Shelter Everybody.

This is probably the one thing the neighborhood would hate more than a giant gaping rear end in a top hat statue.

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wesleywillis
Dec 30, 2016

SUCK A MALE CAMEL'S DICK WITH MIRACLE WHIP!!
The tunnel of love would be obvious I think

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