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Hello friends, gooners and countrymen. Like most depressive traumatized dudes who can't get out of the way of their own happiness, I have turned to poetry as an outlet for my feelings. It has been a hot minute since I have been writing regularly and poetry has historically not been my jam in general, so I am happy for any feedback I can get. I don't have any specific goals regarding output, form, etc. so posts will likely be sporadic, but I wanted to make a thread for them to live, and for folks to give their criticism. (I went back through the last few pages of CC and did a forum search and didn't find any sort of "drop a short poem and get feedback" thread, so if one such thing exists let me know and I will gladly use it!) Here is my first. Starless Sky I gaze upon my starless sky with a bitter wonder Are the stars still shining bright from some high place up yonder? Have I merely dug so deep that from my vantagepoint below My sky is not a sky at all, but earth and rock where nothing glows? I wonder if the stars themselves remember how I stared in awe As if my sky was dark before Like their light was the first I saw? As if my world forever changed when I laid eyes upon that sky As if for the first time that night I could chart my course, could sail, could fly Yet now as I stand alone in dark, a dark I'd told myself was light I realize now this pit is hell, this pit that I once thought was right My whole world turned upon on its head To make myself believe I'd grown That my heart's alive, not dead That it beat among the stars' own glow That I stood amongst the stars at night A truth I now see was a lie Words I said to blind my eyes While all I loved and praised would die I know that this I will survive, The more I climb, the more I rise But my stars will never look the same Nor will they ever shine as bright
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Feb 13, 2025 18:00
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| # ? Jan 13, 2026 16:19 |
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