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 "yes hold on, and the entire thing ended up in your rectum?. . . Well in that case the manufacturer can claim that you willfully disregarded the safety notice, what's that? . . . Well then get the pictures from your 'x-ray photography friend, we'll need them in court! . . . No, I don't care if they hold sentimental value and neither will the judge. Your friend can get the original prints back after the process. . . Okay, so send them to me overnight and in the meantime just relax and heal up, don't do anything weird at the hospital. "  "Mom was right, I should have been a doctor "
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Mar 17, 2025 14:52
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"Hey who has seen the Grover folder? . Anyone? . . C'mon, the inheritance of the Grover estate is our biggest case! We need to get our heads in the game!"
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Mar 17, 2025 15:01
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many different users state that they do not like or want me posting
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Mar 17, 2025 15:05
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Buce posted:many different users state that they do not like or want me posting The retainer is gonna be at least  per day
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Mar 17, 2025 15:15
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I'm sorry, sir, there's no ring in that picture. Without the ring your copyright infringement case isn't going to go anywhere.
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Mar 17, 2025 15:23
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We're going to argue that it's a total loss and sometimes that's harder on the defendant.
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Mar 17, 2025 15:38
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I need to go down to the county courthouse to notarize these “username/post combo” and “turn on your monitor” jokes. Don’t sign your posts without a witness present
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Mar 17, 2025 15:43
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I hereby sentence thee to six hours in the LC. May God have mercy on your soul!
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Mar 17, 2025 15:45
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This is serious. Your profile claims to have been posting since 9/11/2001 but all billing paperwork indicates that you registered in Spring 2006. I need you to explain this to me because the DA is going to tell the jury that you find the September 11th attacks humorous
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Mar 17, 2025 15:47
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"So the district attorney is two minutes into his opening statement before any of us realized he had prepared for the wrong case! When he began to accuse my client of 'improper and malicious syntax in the political debate forums' the judge seemed like he was torn between laughing and anger!" *sips water* "anyway it turned out my client was a repeat offender under false identity so the whole thing was a wash so we all went to a titty bar"
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Mar 17, 2025 15:57
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Yes I understand you were probated for two weeks but those are still billable hours. Yes…yes it is serious business.
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Mar 17, 2025 15:57
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The partners knew.
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Mar 17, 2025 15:58
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No, we can't legally register a hot dog stand as a religion.
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Mar 17, 2025 15:59
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Hey did anyone give this Grover guy building permits?
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Mar 17, 2025 16:00
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Marcel, you can't keep shouting that "Mods knew" at the courthouse. We're on thin ice as it is, with you insisting on comparing dongs with the prosecutor.
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Mar 17, 2025 16:01
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Is a goon not owed the sweat on his toes from yelling at his wife? Or the toenails collected in their keyboard for later chewing? I’m gonna have this jury in the palm of my hands.
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Mar 17, 2025 17:36
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So your wife stole your prized pony jar? Sounds like we have a solid case, but please take away your new starter jar
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Mar 17, 2025 18:12
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I am seeking victims to come forward in a class action suit against the mods for “comedy” sixers on posts that have broken no rules. Your pain and anguish demand compensation!
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Mar 17, 2025 18:21
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The Bramble posted:I am seeking victims to come forward in a class action suit against the mods for “comedy” sixers on posts that have broken no rules. Your pain and anguish demand compensation! My probes have been all comedic in nature. Including one time I was probed the better part of a Sunday. I demand satisfaction.
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Mar 17, 2025 18:27
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listen, you're facing a ban, no question. I think we can bargain this down to a probe + thread jail but I need you to be completely honest with me
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Mar 17, 2025 18:29
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Yes I understand you can't post for 6 hours but I just don't think a jury is going to see that as being worth millions of dollars in mental anguish.
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Mar 17, 2025 18:57
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Those six hours I was probed deprived the forums of some of the deepest and most profound of shitposts. The people of the forums deserve compensation.
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Mar 17, 2025 18:58
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We're receiving reports that a large pastry the size of a small pastry is completely blocking a thread and many posters are unable to get past it
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Mar 17, 2025 19:13
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No, Frank, we cannot remove "the R-slur" from the contract. If we do, the whole thing will collapse and it will cost the client millions of dollars. Find a way to work around it.
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Mar 17, 2025 19:18
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if i design my bathroom to
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Mar 17, 2025 19:18
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Could you please fax us some photos of the bathroom in question?
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Mar 17, 2025 19:20
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anyone heard from Leonard Crabs recently?
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Mar 17, 2025 19:21
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big nipples big life posted:Could you please fax us some photos of the bathroom in question? yep, here u go: 
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Mar 17, 2025 19:35
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Sorry, we can't help you.
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Mar 17, 2025 19:37
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Yes, posting does count towards billable hours, why do you ask?
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Mar 17, 2025 19:40
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Mozi posted:anyone heard from Leonard Crabs recently? yes, he's fine
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Mar 17, 2025 19:46
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Mozi posted:anyone heard from Leonard Crabs recently? Fucker owes me 20$ ! Anyway anyone knows what 'rizz' is? I'm being sued for lacking enough of it.
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Mar 17, 2025 20:11
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someone on reddit used an SA image macro without proper credit. Let’s spin up the war room. Diane, get the goat man’s rep briefed we’re sending a helicopter.
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Mar 17, 2025 20:33
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".... no, listen, if you did not opt for the track&trace there is nothing to do ... no you cant sue the courier for losing your package ... because we cant prove it was maliciously lost or stolen ... because you didnt opt for the track&trace ... no it's not possible to sue the seller either ... listen i know you're disappointed, just mull it over ... yes we could go to court but the case will be thrown ou- hello?? christ almighty. what the hell even is a siesta cat?"
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Mar 17, 2025 20:46
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Cubone posted:yes, he's fine thank god he's the only one who can press the button to send out all our paychecks
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Mar 17, 2025 20:48
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Objection?! Well I'm objecting to your objection!!!
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Mar 17, 2025 20:50
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Someone in FYAD called me a poopiehead. I demand $100 million dollars.
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Mar 17, 2025 21:55
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No, closing down and threatening to close down threads is not legally actionable. Posting about making truck bombs is, however.
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Mar 17, 2025 22:02
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I'm sorry, but we just can't accept passports as valid forms of ID. Now, for the last time, sir: Do you, or do you not, have stairs in your house?
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Mar 17, 2025 22:34
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| # ? Apr 26, 2025 18:36 |
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Give it up already, a lady doesn't owe you anything for carrying a printer to her house. Of your own accord I might add.
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Mar 17, 2025 22:41
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