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Hello. Today I plan to meet a new person (human) for a date. I pity them. please provide advice for wooing the fairer/less fairer sexes, specifically as it pertains to the portland metropolitan area. I have attached a photo of myself to assist in your critiques and strategies. (for example, should i crook my eyebrow even higher?) 
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Mar 24, 2025 18:50
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| # ? Apr 26, 2025 18:47 |
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Go get all your facial hair professionally trimmed and shaped big time I don't know why guys don't do this It's important Just do it I'm saying it nicely there's a ton of guys in the selfie thread that needs to do the same thing It really matters
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Mar 24, 2025 18:51
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You should shave your beard into a novelty shape.
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Mar 24, 2025 18:52
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Spinz posted:Go get all your facial hair professionally trimmed and shaped big time 😬
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Mar 24, 2025 18:53
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Barber? I don’t even kno er
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Mar 24, 2025 18:54
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youll be fine OP just go and be yourself
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Mar 24, 2025 18:57
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Bring a deck of mtg cards in case she wants to duel
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Mar 24, 2025 18:58
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Live post through it and parrot any lines the forum gives you. Whore yourself out for the Internet. Fulfill your destiny as a goon.
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Mar 24, 2025 18:58
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Fabulousity posted:Live post through it and parrot any lines the forum gives you. sounds good
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Mar 24, 2025 19:00
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10/10, looking good OP. You got this.
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Mar 24, 2025 19:01
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Yeah honestly I wouldn't change a thing. Frankly you don't even need to shower. Perfect as is, good luck
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Mar 24, 2025 19:01
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Buce posted:I have attached a photo of myself to assist in your critiques and strategies. (for example, should i crook my eyebrow even higher?) I'd recommend some scotch tape to get the eyebrow up as high as you can until it just starts to bleed a little bit, then layer tape over the blood until the blood isn't visible but genuinely good luck goon
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Mar 24, 2025 19:03
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Get a bandana and an eyepatch and go into detail about all the plunder and booty contained in your plex server
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Mar 24, 2025 19:05
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Flyin Brian posted:Yeah honestly I wouldn't change a thing. Frankly you don't even need to shower. Perfect as is, good luck Maybe take that shower.
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Mar 24, 2025 19:05
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Flyin Brian posted:Yeah honestly I wouldn't change a thing. Frankly you don't even need to shower. Perfect as is, good luck seems like a snarky implication, especially given the fact that I use various soaps and tinctures to cleanse my flesh every single day Anderson Koopa posted:Maybe take that shower. what the gently caress
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Mar 24, 2025 19:06
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Tbf you kinda look like the type with overactive sebaceous glands of the taint
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Mar 24, 2025 19:07
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Buce posted:seems like a snarky implication, especially given the fact that I use various soaps and tinctures to cleanse my flesh every single day I posted that before I knew about your hygiene routine. Carry on. You got this
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Mar 24, 2025 19:09
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Well, from the picture he's kind of handsome in a very goonish way, you could give it a shot if you're into that kind of thing, and I bet he hasn't gotten laid in a while so he might be easy, but I made a napkin sketch of a goon once and it basically looked just like that so.... Pretty typical I guess Oh, that's you OP? Hmm, yes, carry on
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Mar 24, 2025 19:14
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Do the beard trim stuff it's important. Make sure to use the word "pulchritudinous" at least once during the date.
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Mar 24, 2025 19:14
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it all depends. what is her reg date?
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Mar 24, 2025 19:14
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MSPain posted:it all depends. what is her reg date? This is important
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Mar 24, 2025 19:16
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Nobody Interesting posted:Do the beard trim stuff it's important. Here's a beard style for your consideration. 
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Mar 24, 2025 19:20
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Anderson Koopa posted:Here's a beard style for your consideration. That is an extremely pulchritudinous beard, op
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Mar 24, 2025 19:21
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When u show up make sure u do the intro song so they get the right idea of the date about to come. u can go DRAGON DRAGON ROCK THE DRAGON DRAGON BALL Z!! Or Sometimes u wanna go, where everybody knows your name, and they're always glad u came
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Mar 24, 2025 19:21
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MSPain posted:it all depends. what is her reg date? they're too young to even know about sa  but like, an adult human though. jesus
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Mar 24, 2025 19:24
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Buce posted:they're too young to even know about sa Oh poo poo he's "robbing the cradle", look out ladies
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Mar 24, 2025 19:25
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Tube posted:Oh poo poo he's "robbing the cradle", look out ladies As opposed to robing the cradle, baby's first full length wearable towel.
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Mar 24, 2025 19:27
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I give my life.... Not for honor but for you....
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Mar 24, 2025 19:28
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Buce posted:they're too young to even know about sa why would you want to date somebody who hasn't even heard of forums.somethingawful.com? you have pretty nice hair, you can do better.
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Mar 24, 2025 19:30
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remember to smile. also eat rear end, but Idk if you do that on the first date I've been off the market for decades.
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Mar 24, 2025 19:33
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Lil Swamp Booger Baby posted:When u show up make sure u do the intro song so they get the right idea of the date about to come. u can go DRAGON DRAGON ROCK THE DRAGON DRAGON BALL Z!! Or Sometimes u wanna go, where everybody knows your name, and they're always glad u came there's this one shockwave dragonball z game that was on cartoon network dot com and the menu screen just has that bit of the theme playing over and over again, but the audio compression muffles "ROCK" into "gently caress"
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Mar 24, 2025 19:34
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Would you like to go on a date with me op, I think you look nice I'm married with kids and all but I'd go hang out and talk about our jobs and such. Could go for a walk by the river.
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Mar 24, 2025 19:34
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sure okay posted:youll be fine OP just go and be yourself Wow just setting him up for failure from the start
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Mar 24, 2025 19:35
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Do you have time to go pick up some dangly beard gems to put in your beard? If not I think you're going to be alone forever sorry! But if so that's cute as hell do it just get all bedangled up with gems
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Mar 24, 2025 19:36
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The point of dating is to find someone with whom you have chemistry, roughly aligned future goals, and shared interests. You can discover all these things by just being genuinely curious about this other human and genuinely interested in who they are. (i know this is not a mind-blowing revelation, i'm just table setting here) I think one problem many guys have on dates is that they treat people they date like validation vending machines, paying a bit of attention in exchange for getting to be interesting, handsome, sexy, funny, whatever. And I think people know when they're seen in that kind of transactional way. I think people find it exhausting when they realize they are having to manage someone's sense of self-worth or dance around their insecurities. People who date just want to go have a nice time with someone they enjoy being around, and this person has identified you, yes you, as someone who might be enjoyable to be around. That's half the battle right there! So just do your best to make them feel interesting, don't be afraid to share your own interests too so they can return the favor, and just try to keep a nice even rhythm of learning about them and learning about you. And other than that, just let the date be the date, you know? Let this fun evening just be a fun evening. It doesn't have to be the start of an epic love tale, the first in a series of embarrassing calamities, it doesn't have to be anything else, just a nice time with a fellow human. Be present for the date, not planning out 5 steps in advance. And I'd say, let yourself consider the date a success if the two of you have a nice evening together even if you never see each other again. Then, if you DO see each other again, bonus, and if you don't, who cares, you had a nice evening. edit: oops, i answered with sincerity like a loving cuck. Uh... let's see... hey, heh, don't forget to shave your balls and brush your teeth, and DON'T get those two mixed up lmao boom gottem
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Mar 24, 2025 19:37
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Buce posted:Hello. Today I plan to meet a new person (human) for a date. I pity them. Do something with your hair
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Mar 24, 2025 19:48
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Agree with the facial and head hair needing to be shaped and trimmed. Go to a nice place and treat yourself to a barber that also provides beer/scotch. Wear something slightly nicer than you normally would, buttons are good. Have good posture, just standing and sitting straighter can make you appear (and feel!) more confident. Have a few talking points that can lead into actual conversations. They might sounds cheesy, but asking open questions that are simple can get the ball rolling. (where was the last place you went on vacation and what was the best meal? Who is your favorite character from ______ and why? ) you didnt shown your teeth in your pic, but a nice set of chompers goes a long way. brush, floss, and for satan's sake (if you can afford it) get your teeth cleaned. Good luck! and stay off your phone!
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Mar 24, 2025 19:49
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When I was on the market I got a fair amount of attention from women just by simply being a normal dude. And to clarify, I'm not a particularly handsome guy. I went into every date with the honest intention to only be friends and expect nothing from it. I certainly didn't have every date go somewhere but I did a lot better than a lot of the guys who were much better looking but desperate as poo poo. desperation stinks.
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Mar 24, 2025 19:51
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ur boy sam got u covered, with the latest advanced dating assistant technology
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Mar 24, 2025 19:51
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| # ? Apr 26, 2025 18:47 |
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show them the piss shivers thread on your phone, then ask their opinion
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Mar 24, 2025 20:02
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