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cumpantry posted:lol goons nearly meeting their end in bathrooms I mean most of our deaths aren't gonna be cool. 
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Mar 30, 2025 08:20
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I’ve nearly drowned a whole bunch as a kid. The biggest one was slipping on the oceanside pool’s stone steps, smashing my head on the bottom step and bouncing straight into the ocean headfirst and having to be fished out. Somehow did not drown or get a concussion  The most dramatic is probably I was in China when COVID happened and had pnuemonia with the worst timing ever. basically barely scraped out via dumping all my belongings on my landlord that didn’t fit in one suitcase, snagging a private taxi willing to drive me all the way into Shanghai and somehow passing the roadside stops where they were temperature checking everyone on the highway. Grabbed one of the last (very expensive) tickets back home before Australia closed its borders too. It got pretty ugly for my colleagues who didn’t run and were waiting for it to blow over and a few in the broader community caught it and died. My asthmatic rear end would have been toast pre-vaccine with no healthcare.
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Mar 30, 2025 11:18
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seizure while driving, must have been doing 60+ on a 6 lane highway when it happened. no memory of it at all. alcohol withdrawal is real and not cool and not good.
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Mar 30, 2025 22:37
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Beer, morphine, xanax, coke, empty stomach. Not as fun as it sounds.
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Mar 30, 2025 22:43
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cumpantry posted:lol goons nearly meeting their end in bathrooms As dumb teen got scar on head as I didn’t realize importance of having a bath mat or towel to step on when exiting shower.
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Mar 30, 2025 22:53
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In high school, I was leaving a gaming store around 11pm, because the mall was closing. My friends and I had collectively ordered a box of Mage Knight figures, and opened them in the store. While on the way to my friend's van in the parking lot, one of my friends and I were intercepted by a large man wearing all red. I don't think he was a gang member though. I just remember it pretty vividly. The guy swooped and pulled out a 20oz Pepsi bottle from its 6-ring pack as he passed by, but despite our hands being full with models, I was able to take my one free hand and grab the bottle before he got it out. To be honest, I'm impressed I had the reflexes for that. Anyway, this guy stops and turns to us with a menacing look, like how dare I stop him? We went back and forth with me talking calmly, and reasoning with the guy in ways I shouldn't have. When he said I was "trying to be a hero", I said "No sir, I'm trying to be a merchant." I convinced him to pay a dollar for the beverage, reasoning that it would still be more soda for less money than if he bought it in the movie theater. My friend didn't say a thing the whole time. When we agreed on a dollar, he reached into his pocket and showed me 4 quarters, then dropped 2 in my hand while running off with the bottle. It was actually really slick. The 6-pack cost me 3 dollars, so I broke even on that bottle anyway. Afterward, he and his friend came up to our lovely high schooler minivan and peeled out. One of my friends noted that it isn't cheap burning your tread like that, and we were largely unshaken by the experience. In hindsight, it was probably my lucky day to not get the poo poo kicked out of me that night, but only one of us had that possibility realized in their mind at the time.
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Mar 30, 2025 22:53
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unknown amount of ambien + beer do not do this under any circumstances
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Mar 30, 2025 22:54
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signalnoise posted:In high school, I was leaving a gaming store around 11pm, because the mall was closing. My friends and I had collectively ordered a box of Mage Knight figures, and opened them in the store. While on the way to my friend's van in the parking lot, one of my friends and I were intercepted by a large man wearing all red. I don't think he was a gang member though. I just remember it pretty vividly. The guy swooped and pulled out a 20oz Pepsi bottle from its 6-ring pack as he passed by, but despite our hands being full with models, I was able to take my one free hand and grab the bottle before he got it out. To be honest, I'm impressed I had the reflexes for that. Huh glad that worked out for you but yeah I’d have let him have the dang soda, judging from the not insignificant number of mall food court shootings in local news not worth risking it.
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Mar 30, 2025 23:05
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I had a fight with my high school girlfriend and stormed home, jaywalking and not pay attention at a crosswalk. All of a sudden there were lights and I could see my face. A car was racing through a yellow and was going so fast I just caught a glimpse of its lights and my reflection in the window. A cop was stopped at the red going in the other direction and hit the sirens, then raced to catch up with them. I was standing in the intersection still and watched them race away.
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Mar 30, 2025 23:14
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I remember being at a bar with a few friends once where some guy (and his friends) almost started a fight with us. I don't even remember what it was about. I think we were waiting for the pool table to free up and they tried cutting in line. At some point I noticed him grabbing his bottle and shifting his grip as though he was gonna bash it over someone's head. I gave him a really dumb look and said something like, "c'maaaahn, really? It's not that serious" which seemed to somehow deescalate the situation and they eventually hosed off Another time I was on the way to do groceries and some guy tried mugging me. He walked up to me from behind and said "gimme what you got" and then moved his hand in his jacket pocket like he was pointing a gun at me. Maybe he actually had a gun, but I had no way of knowing. I told him, "man, I'm broke," so he repeated himself. I said, "no, for real, I don't have anything," so he demanded I show him my wallet. Then I said, "look man, I don't have time for this" and walked away Apparently the secret to getting out of potentially dangerous situations is to act like it's not a big deal
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Mar 30, 2025 23:35
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I've just missed two shootings. One at Penn State in 1996 when a young lady hid under a bush on the lawn of the student union building and started shooting at random people. I skipped my morning classes that day. Second time was 2013 when a guy shot up the Navy Yard in DC. About a month before that he was in the office I worked in at another base. I have a copy of the sign-in sheet somewhere.
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Mar 31, 2025 03:09
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When I was 16, my older sister and I got into a heated argument and I told her to go gently caress herself. In a drug fueled manic rage, she went to the kitchen, got our biggest chef's knife, and proceeded to stab me right in the chest with it in front of my mother. Luckily, I was holding a giant bag of kettle popcorn and the knife plunged into that instead of me. I dropped the bag and ran, and she chased me around the house intent on murdering me. I made it into the laundry room, blocked the door with the dryer, and left the house out the laundry room exterior door. I could still hear her screaming and trying to stab the door as I ran out. She also tried swinging the knife wildly at my mom while she tried to deescalate the situation. Needless to say, I completely deleted her from my life a long time ago for that and many other things. She briefly existed again when my dad passed away in 2021, but has since been kicked out again because she hasn't changed.
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Mar 31, 2025 03:36
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ive had a few
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Mar 31, 2025 03:39
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You Are A Werewolf posted:When I was 16, my older sister and I got into a heated argument and I told her to go gently caress herself. In a drug fueled manic rage, she went to the kitchen, got our biggest chef's knife, and proceeded to stab me right in the chest with it in front of my mother. Luckily, I was holding a giant bag of kettle popcorn and the knife plunged into that instead of me. I dropped the bag and ran, and she chased me around the house intent on murdering me. I made it into the laundry room, blocked the door with the dryer, and left the house out the laundry room exterior door. I could still hear her screaming and trying to stab the door as I ran out. She also tried swinging the knife wildly at my mom while she tried to deescalate the situation. Horrific 
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Mar 31, 2025 04:11
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You Are A Werewolf posted:When I was 16, my older sister and I got into a heated argument and I told her to go gently caress herself. In a drug fueled manic rage, she went to the kitchen, got our biggest chef's knife, and proceeded to stab me right in the chest with it in front of my mother. Luckily, I was holding a giant bag of kettle popcorn and the knife plunged into that instead of me. I dropped the bag and ran, and she chased me around the house intent on murdering me. I made it into the laundry room, blocked the door with the dryer, and left the house out the laundry room exterior door. I could still hear her screaming and trying to stab the door as I ran out. She also tried swinging the knife wildly at my mom while she tried to deescalate the situation. um. holy hell lol
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Mar 31, 2025 06:59
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Yeah other threads have a "don't post abuse" stories rule. I wish that was a forums wide rule and I hadn't read that one or the roofie bit
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Mar 31, 2025 08:02
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You Are A Werewolf posted:When I was 16, my older sister and I got into a heated argument and I told her to go gently caress herself. In a drug fueled manic rage, she went to the kitchen, got our biggest chef's knife, and proceeded to stab me right in the chest with it in front of my mother. Luckily, I was holding a giant bag of kettle popcorn and the knife plunged into that instead of me. I dropped the bag and ran, and she chased me around the house intent on murdering me. I made it into the laundry room, blocked the door with the dryer, and left the house out the laundry room exterior door. I could still hear her screaming and trying to stab the door as I ran out. She also tried swinging the knife wildly at my mom while she tried to deescalate the situation. a bag of poporn taking the stab for you and saving your life is wild stuff
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Mar 31, 2025 09:15
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When I was seven I got hit by a car doing about 70-75 kmph, it sort of spun me and my forehead hit the bonnet (hard enough to leave a dent lol) and then I slid up and over the side of the bonnet and sort of skidded along the road. I was mostly fine other than being a bit stunned and having road rash all over - would have walked home but a bunch of old ladies came out and made me wait for the ambos. One time when I was diving on the Great Barrier Reef I had a ~4.5 meter tiger shark swim past about 3 meters away from me. Luckily it wasn't hungry (and I took some comfort that I could swim faster than many of the people who were in the dive group with me). I used to work milking snakes for venom in order to make anti-venom and there were a few close calls there. The worst was milking a juvenile eastern brown snake and it very nearly nicked my thumb with one fang (which is all it would take). Had to go out for a cigarette after that one and calm down. One time someone full on stabbed me in the throat with a fork and they must have hit at a bloody weird angle because the tines just bent and I got a bit of a nasty scratch/scrape. Later I would mock them for having absolutely poo poo quality cutlery. I got a ton more if I stop and think about it lol
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Mar 31, 2025 09:34
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Stoner Sloth posted:When I was seven I got hit by a car doing about 70-75 kmph, it sort of spun me and my forehead hit the bonnet (hard enough to leave a dent lol) and then I slid up and over the side of the bonnet and sort of skidded along the road. I was mostly fine other than being a bit stunned and having road rash all over - would have walked home but a bunch of old ladies came out and made me wait for the ambos. Everything in Australia really is trying to kill you, huh
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Mar 31, 2025 11:37
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Jack-Off Lantern posted:Yeah other threads have a "don't post abuse" stories rule. I guess we found the true victim here
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Mar 31, 2025 12:13
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Worf posted:I guess we found the true victim here A lot of people don’t like to read stuff like that because of their own personal experiences with similar things, hth
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Mar 31, 2025 12:24
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Kit Walker posted:A lot of people don’t like to read stuff like that because of their own personal experiences with similar things, hth Yeah, I get that. It doesn't change single aspect of my thoughts on it. I would advise they stick to one of the many safe spaces they're accustomed to
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Mar 31, 2025 12:29
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Kit Walker posted:A lot of people don’t like to read stuff like that because of their own personal experiences with similar things, hth Then don't read the personal trauma thread bing bong
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Mar 31, 2025 12:36
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MrQwerty posted:Then don't read the personal trauma thread bing bong edit: that was mean, but this ^^^
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Mar 31, 2025 21:03
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I took acid at a music festival in downtown Los Angeles and my friend drove us back to his (in my car) and at some point in the early AM I felt sober enough to drive back to mine. I was doing alright but then the windows started fogging (winter) on the highway and i couldn't figure out the defroster. I couldnt see anything and was panicking and eventually made peace with my life and accepted that this was how i was going to die, and then I realized I could just wipe the fog off with my hands.
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Mar 31, 2025 21:38
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That time I was airlifted off a mountain by long-line after falling off a cliff. There was a small ledge I landed on about 14 feet down, my feet were overhanging a 500 foot drop. Worst injuries were a couple lacerations and a chipped jawbone. 13 stitches and some bed rest from getting beat up was all I needed to recover. Twice I've had my hair stand completely on end in a thunderstorm. Another time, lightning struck the tree we were tenting under. Then of course there was the time my dad tried to kill my mom and it's scary to think what would have happened if he succeeded. He stopped because he saw me watching. Should mention he drove himself with passengers off a cliff ince in a fit of suicidal rage. No one was seriously injured in that thankfully. SulfurMonoxideCute fucked around with this message at 21:49 on Mar 31, 2025 |
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Mar 31, 2025 21:45
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I roofied myself once. I was super nervous about a party and took some ativan to calm me down. I drank at that party of course and ended up being barely conscious. I don’t remember much of that night  I also got way too drunk at another party thanks to anxious drinking and I walked back to my dorm instead of taking the bus that others tried to get me to do. I don’t remember the walk but it took like an hour or so despite being really close by, (probably about 15 minutes). I showed up at my dorm room and spent a while vomiting in the toilet while apologizing to my roommates for being so drunk. I haven’t drank to that excess since then.
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Mar 31, 2025 21:54
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I once drank myself blind, somehow didn't get sick. But genuinely could not see anything but black and stars for hours. I was in public during the day, too. But it was a huge street party so everyone else was drunk anyway.
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Mar 31, 2025 22:58
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I was driving over a bridge and went to change lanes, but there was a guy in my blind spot that I didn’t notice until the last second. I over corrected and ended up swerving hard, losing control and snaking back and forth. I nearly hit and went over the barrier and into the reservoir below but somehow managed to straighten myself out. That one made me feel the adrenaline.
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Apr 1, 2025 00:46
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titty_baby_ posted:I took acid at a music festival in downtown Los Angeles and my friend drove us back to his (in my car) and at some point in the early AM I felt sober enough to drive back to mine. I was doing alright but then the windows started fogging (winter) on the highway and i couldn't figure out the defroster. I couldnt see anything and was panicking and eventually made peace with my life and accepted that this was how i was going to die, and then I realized I could just wipe the fog off with my hands. lamo
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Apr 1, 2025 06:42
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One of my car wrecks didn't look survivable, but I managed to crawl out with just a severe concussion. It was a little Toyota Tercel, and I didn't roll it so much as cartwheel it repeatedly. Thing was smashed, and because it had one of those stupid automatic shoulder seatbelts I wasn't wearing a lapbelt so got thrown around pretty good. Another time I got a pretty good concussion riding my bike into the back of a parked van. I was flying a pirate flag off the bikerack that my dad had used when he did whitewater rafting, and I was paranoid about losing it so kept throwing glances back over my shoulder. After one glance I turned back around just in time to see the back of the van. The next thing I knew I was standing about 10 feet behind the van, my bike was on the ground, my glasses had vaporized, and then the pain hit and my bladder released. I have no idea how I was on my feet - everything just skipped from seeing the van to standing behind it. Both of those happened in my mid-20s somewhere. Over my lifetime I've had at the very least 5 significant concussions, not including the skull fractures that were my last significant head injury. I'm incredibly freaking lucky to be breathing, and even more lucky to have the worst long-term thing that happened as a result be losing my sense of smell for a few years after the skull fractures, and it never coming back 100% after that. I can live with that (LOL).
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Apr 1, 2025 07:15
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Cowman posted:I roofied myself once. I was super nervous about a party and took some ativan to calm me down. I drank at that party of course and ended up being barely conscious. I don’t remember much of that night That sucks but roofies are mickey finn. Rohypnol. Also to be technical, you can't roofie yourself. Although there are some ppl who take rohypnol recreationally. on that one. I got roofied once and it is not quite the same as ativan and drink. Ativan is mild for a trank. Sure, same policy for caution but it's not valium. As for my roofie, I only managed to escape whatever fate because the lady who drugged me gave me half a dose (pieced this together talking to the guy who got the other half).
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Apr 1, 2025 19:04
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CaptainSarcastic posted:One of my car wrecks didn't look survivable, but I managed to crawl out with just a severe concussion. It was a little Toyota Tercel, and I didn't roll it so much as cartwheel it repeatedly. Thing was smashed, and because it had one of those stupid automatic shoulder seatbelts I wasn't wearing a lapbelt so got thrown around pretty good. Back when I was working as a bike courier I ran into another guy from my company while we were both making a dropoff to the same office building, and got to idly chatting a bit. In the five minutes of getting in and out of the building he told me about seven accidents he'd gotten into on the job, including once getting hit by a bus and another time t-boning a van and having his head slam through the window and getting the back of his neck cut up pretty badly. All I could think was, "man, are you sure this is the job for you?" phasmid posted:That sucks but roofies are mickey finn. Rohypnol. Also to be technical, you can't roofie yourself. Although there are some ppl who take rohypnol recreationally. I'm reminded of some goon talking about talking GHB recreationally and describing it as "feeling like a stormtrooper in a world full of jedi"
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Apr 1, 2025 19:12
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Kit Walker posted:I'm reminded of some goon talking about talking GHB recreationally and describing it as "feeling like a stormtrooper in a world full of jedi" Depends on the movie.
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Apr 1, 2025 19:20
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phasmid posted:That sucks but roofies are mickey finn. Rohypnol. Also to be technical, you can't roofie yourself. Although there are some ppl who take rohypnol recreationally. I realize all of this, I just think it’s easier and funnier to say I roofied myself 
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Apr 1, 2025 21:56
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When I was in 5th grade I got off the bus one day after school and my older brother started chasing me around. Apparently, I ran behind the bus full tilt and made an abrupt acquaintance with a car going the other way. My right side hit the front fender and I went over the top of the car, smashed my head into the windshield and landed about 20 feet in front of the car. I was helicocksuckered to the hospital where I went into the ICU for 3 days. I started in critical condition, then went to serious, then back to critical. I was unconscious the whole time and the first thing I remember about the whole thing was waking up in the ICU, pulling all the tubes out of my arm, and trying to make a break for it. I passed out after trying to get out of the bed. Broken right leg in two places Broken collar bone Sliced elbow Broken right arm And who really knows what damage to my brain. I was bleeding out both my ears so that probably wasn't good.
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Apr 1, 2025 22:02
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Did a 30 degreeish turn on a snowy road going 30 mph when I probably should have been going more like 15 and spun out. I narrowly missed oncoming traffic or falling into a ravine and after spinning about 720 degrees ended up stopped perfectly in someone's driveway. I kind of wish I had video, it was pretty slick.
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Apr 1, 2025 23:22
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Mixed a bunch of pharmaceuticals one night. I wasn’t even partying. I was just sitting at my desk playing Skyrim. poo poo had been getting out of hand for the past few months. I woke up naked and freezing cold on the floor next to my chair at 5pm the next day. I knew I was one more pill of this or that away from dying and being found like that like some kind of loving idiot. I missed work and had a lot of missed calls. rear end in a top hat. Embarassing. Quit abusing pills on the spot. The next few days were rough, but the party was over.
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Apr 2, 2025 01:54
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Do you know what you did in Skyrim during that time?
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Apr 2, 2025 01:59
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titty_baby_ posted:Do you know what you did in Skyrim during that time? My guy was in a cave with some dead goblins around when I woke up.
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Apr 2, 2025 02:08
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