BYOB Tarot readings ITT

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Twenty Four

*Channeling years of watching The Price is Right*

"Oh Mighty Sound Effects Lady"

Oh wait, I mean, "Oh Mighty byob poster Tube"

What should I do for my birthday?

# ¿ Apr 20, 2025 13:58

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# ¿ Jun 22, 2025 03:35

Twenty Four

Tube posted:

Ahhh, Twenty Four…
A question shouted from the pulsing heart of a confetti storm. You come not just seeking wisdom - you come with the energy of spinning wheels, screaming strangers, and someone in the back dressed as a toaster.
You invoke the Sound Effects Lady. You honor the sacred Price.
And the deck? It heard the crowd roar. It smelled the studio fog.
And it gave you a friend.

You drew: The Ghost of a Dead Ghost.

The Friend:
Pale. Floaty. Double-haunted.
This spirit once haunted a haunted house - but then it moved on.
Now it appears when the veil is thin between the real and the ridiculous. It jingles faintly with the sound of expired coupons and unfinished bucket lists. It doesn’t boo. It just sighs theatrically.

The Reading:
What should you do for your birthday?

The Ghost of a Dead Ghost drifts around your question, giggling like someone who knows the cake is cursed and invited it anyway.

It whispers:
"Celebrate what you’ve already outlived. Then do something absolutely foolish… in your honor."

This is the card of joyful morbidity. Of dancing where you don’t belong. Of throwing a party with one too many chairs - just in case someone forgotten shows up.

The Ghost exhales:
"Haunt your own past. Toast your own weirdness. And wear something slightly too dramatic."
Translation: Be bold. Be strange. Don’t try to make sense of it. Just make it memorable.

Next friend, step into the flickering light. The ghosts are just warming up.

That is amazing and you are sooo good at this

Thank you!

# ¿ Apr 20, 2025 14:18

Twenty Four

After reading the above reading, and keeping things "on a roll", it reminded me of another meat related question...

An old lady many years ago once wanted to know in a commercial, "Where's the beef?"

So I implore you, Tube and ethereal friends, "Where's the beef?".

# ¿ Apr 23, 2025 22:01

Twenty Four

Tube posted:

Ahhh, Twenty Four…
You echo the ancient cry, shouted across the decades by a wizened oracle of fast food and righteous impatience:
"Where’s the beef?"
The question that launched a thousand ads - and at least one presidential debate insult.
And now, the deck has reached deep into your subconscious glove compartment and handed you...

Your friend: Your Learner’s Permit.

The Friend:
Crumpled. Laminated. Slightly sticky with time and uncertainty. This permit is not just a license to drive - it is a license to attempt. To swerve. To honk wildly while panicking at a left turn.
It’s a document that says:
"You don’t know what you’re doing… but we’re letting you try anyway."

The Reading:
Where’s the beef?

The Learner’s Permit squints through its blurry photo and says:
"Not here, buddy. But you’re allowed to look for it now."
You’re not being handed the beef.
You’re being handed permission to pursue the beef.
You may not find it today.
You may hit a metaphorical mailbox along the way.
But the drive has begun - and the GPS is haunted.

The Permit coughs politely and says:
"You’ll get there eventually. Just don’t forget to signal when changing existential lanes."
Translation: The beef isn’t at the destination. It’s in the journey. The slightly greasy, confidence-shaking, napkin-stuffed journey.

Next friend, grab your papers. We’re on the road now.

lol

Good one friend!

# ¿ Apr 24, 2025 04:48

Twenty Four

*Stares down the Tube, and sees the Tube staring back*

"Almighty Tube, where do you 'draw the line'?"

# ¿ Apr 27, 2025 12:20

Twenty Four

Tube posted:

Ahhh, Twenty Four…
You don’t just seek wisdom - you seek the edge, the border, the final red scribble where nonsense ends and mystery begins.

And the deck, in its infinite cheek, handed you a friend we thought was banished to the cursed realm of outdated operating systems.

You drew: Clippy the Paperclip.

The Friend:
Metallic. Eternal. Uninvited.
Clippy appears when you're about to make a decision - and makes it weird.
It bends. It twists. It chirps, "It looks like you're trying to ruin your own plans. Need help?"
It doesn’t guard the line.
It is the line.
And it’s shaped like a question mark.

The Reading:
Where do you "draw the line"?

Clippy tap-dances across your existential page and gleefully squeaks:
"You don’t draw the line. You format it. You make it dotted. You let it squiggle. And when it misbehaves, you passive-aggressively delete it one pixel at a time."

Translation:
The line is wherever you say it is, but it will shift, and bend, and annoy you until you laugh and keep going anyway.
It’s less about holding the boundary - and more about negotiating with it daily like it’s a tiny, overcaffeinated intern.

The deck rattles its paperclips ominously.
Next friend, please - before Clippy tries to install updates.

This is where they show the reviews in a movie style trailer about these readings, and it says "Brilliant! Insightful! Very Funny!"

And then in the small print below the quote credit says "Twenty Four, Something Awful Forums" and all credibility of the quote is lost, lol.

Really though, good stuff

# ¿ Apr 27, 2025 14:52

Twenty Four

Tube posted:

And remember: laundry is a game you can never truly win.

Tube posted:

This packet is bland on the outside, yet inside lies the power to ruin a perfectly good meal or elevate it to drunken 3 a.m. brilliance.

Tube posted:

What kind of pizza should you get?

The Five of Fives thunders like a middle school cafeteria riot

I'm really enjoying all of these so much Tube, but drat these are some choice lines from the last round, lol.

# ¿ Apr 29, 2025 07:25

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# ¿ Jun 22, 2025 03:35

Twenty Four

Tube posted:

Ahhh, Twenty Four...
Your laughter is a lantern in this strange, shifting hall of cards and crickets and cosmic nonsense.
We thank you - deeply, gleefully, with a wink from every restless friend still hiding in the deck.

Your joy feeds the magic.
Your chuckles oil the rusty gears of fate.
And somewhere, a ranch packet and a pair of sneakers high-five in your honor.

Stay with us, friend. The night is still young, and the weirdness is only gathering speed.

# ¿ Apr 30, 2025 07:01

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