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Scene: A medieval town at dusk. The air outside smells of petrichor and the wind picked up. A bartender spits inside a clean mug and starts polishing it from inside with a greasy rag. "Sure's quiet round these parts this time of the year" He listens to the wind outside. "Yup. Sure hope no loving skeletons show up."
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Apr 27, 2025 21:16
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| # ? May 18, 2025 02:06 |
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I, a skeleton who was unnoticed in the back of the bar somehow sheds a single tear.
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Apr 27, 2025 21:17
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Roll that dice to see if I'm getting drunk
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Apr 27, 2025 21:20
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I slide Kramerlike into the tavern
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Apr 27, 2025 21:20
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I cast Skeleton Orgy and 10 skeletons show up, loving
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Apr 27, 2025 21:23
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I erect a sign out the front that reads "No skeletons."
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Apr 27, 2025 21:23
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I immediately stab the quest giver in the stomach as soon as he begins to speak. What kind of dice do I roll?
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Apr 27, 2025 21:24
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We are still cool with reanimated bone golums though, right? Just not skeletons? Asking for a friend
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Apr 27, 2025 21:24
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my character is like aragorn and riddick at the same time, he's really cool
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Apr 27, 2025 21:24
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> turn left > fart loudly on goblin
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Apr 27, 2025 21:25
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I rolled a 3 on a d20, that's probably bad
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Apr 27, 2025 21:25
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I cast a spell to remove my own skeleton just in case because i really want a fuckin drink
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Apr 27, 2025 21:27
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i put on my robe and wizard hat
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Apr 27, 2025 21:28
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I erect a billboard near the turn off that has a big picture of skeletons frolicking in a waterpark that says "The Bone Zone - 100miles on the left" and end my turn.
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Apr 27, 2025 21:29
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i say "whoopsie, my dong" out loud
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Apr 27, 2025 21:42
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Saalkin posted:I, a skeleton who was unnoticed in the back of the bar somehow sheds a single tear.
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Apr 27, 2025 21:53
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i brood darkly in the ominously shadowy corner, with a single beer and half eaten roll on the table.
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Apr 27, 2025 21:55
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I'm the barback, who's hoping for some steady work and tips.
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Apr 27, 2025 21:57
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Doing a wisdom check to see if I need to leave my tiny sled outside.
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Apr 27, 2025 22:03
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My skeleton rear end announces loudly to the tavern that I have a huge boner. Then with a cheeky grin while everyone is annoyed with my poo poo I order a beer and a mop.
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Apr 27, 2025 22:08
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A loud crack shivers the tavern door. "Open in the name of Mordor!" I peep my bare skull inside. "Just kidding. A little joke we skeletons have. What's on tap, fleshling?"
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Apr 27, 2025 22:11
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The Bartender tries to look cool (rolls 8 against a DC 25) The Bartender, seemingly uncomfortable, tries to quickly look up to assess the skeleton situation. But every time he decides to look up, everyone's looking back. And when he makes eye contact he flinches first. Every time. He's not looking cool or tough at all. "Now where did I put the..." he mutters, sweating. He's now prone behind the bar thinking about his next move in a battle happening entirely in his own mind. The tavern's interior is dominated by three hovering skeleton balls emitting arcane energy. They are 8 inch in diameter, imperfect, shifting spheres of tiny femurs. An adventuring party of skeletons left them there as a practical joke on the barkeep. He never dared to approach the orbs and elected to rearrange the tables instead. Only Saalkin the skeleton shedding a single tear knows this information.
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Apr 27, 2025 22:12
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Wait, are we all playing skeletons? Someone has to play something with flesh, dammit! Not me. I want to be a boner.
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Apr 27, 2025 22:14
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> go west
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Apr 27, 2025 22:17
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I give an exaggerated sigh and tell the barkeep, "Just relax, go ahead and give me the the drat stick and I'll go kill the rats in your basement for you."
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Apr 27, 2025 22:23
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Koos needs to come and give a bunch of 18 hour probes now
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Apr 27, 2025 22:23
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Anderson Koopa posted:I'm the barback, who's hoping for some steady work and tips. In this economy??? [I roll a nat. 20 meaning that the joke lands effortlessly and several people are so amused they offer to buy me a drink]
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Apr 27, 2025 22:25
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y'all got any of that halfling leaf?
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Apr 27, 2025 22:28
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Escape From Noise posted:In this economy??? I let out a wry smile as I wash you a glass.
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Apr 27, 2025 22:33
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I want to cast... magic missile.
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Apr 27, 2025 22:34
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Toxic Mental posted:> turn left "OY BUB, whazza big ideer?!" I exclaim, brandishing my goblin dagger in a goblinesque fashion.
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Apr 27, 2025 22:40
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I'll take this opportunity to make an oblique sexual reference towards the one female player at the table
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Apr 27, 2025 22:46
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I hide somewhere so I can backstab something later
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Apr 27, 2025 22:48
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Im a gay mindflayer (mindgayer) Lemme get an arcana roll to see if my balls are magical
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Apr 27, 2025 22:48
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ilikedirt posted:Im a gay mindflayer (mindgayer) Good point -- I should probably mention to the DM that I'm a mixed Beholder / Gnome / Fire Giant, as soon as I get the printer working I'll get you my 17 page rule module that is totally not game breaking and minmaxed and explains why you should allow that
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Apr 27, 2025 22:50
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That's right, I made another Tabaxi.
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Apr 27, 2025 23:08
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Fear not, barkeep, I shall end this undead menace! *casts channel negative energy*
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Apr 27, 2025 23:11
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I attack my burger with my sword.
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Apr 27, 2025 23:12
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roll for initiative
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Apr 27, 2025 23:12
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| # ? May 18, 2025 02:06 |
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signalnoise posted:roll for initiative I rolled a 1. Are we playing the older editions where low goes first, or am I hosed?
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Apr 27, 2025 23:13
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