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Smugworth
Apr 18, 2003

I’ll buy you shrimp every night of your life and you can eat it out of my butthole!
Do you garden? I garden.

I started out growing succulents years and years ago because they're relatively easy to take care of in Texas.


Random succulents and cacti that don't belong together. Check the Madagascar palm, they look so cool, don't do so hot.


Some nursery hawarthia



Then I moved to Minnesota

I grow a lot of stuff in pots because I'm too chicken/lazy to make a proper garden.

I figured out I could just grow sunflowers from seed in my big pot instead of buying a bunch of pertenials that will die over winter. One year I had dichondra come back that was nice.



I got the biggest sunflowers I could find and planted too many in the pot. But we'll see how they do




Last year






Basil that won't grow and a bird seed sunflower with bolted cilantro. Yes this is the laziest pot.


This is my little "wildflower" garden. Came from a generic wildflower mix that was probably totally inappropriate for the area but I'm happy with how it looks after year two where everything grew back from last winters die off:


I'm really excited to see how the big green cone flowers in the center turn out. They're growing like crazy from whatever survived under ground last year! At some point I plant to have a real native garden or two. The fence is because rabbits were getting in and having a great time munching all the plants.


Apparently this is bittersweet nightshade and toxic to pets and people, but not birds. Birds eat the berries and disperse the seeds and it's invasive. Had to yank it out. Looked like it would have had pretty purple flowers.


Baby cardinal

Sometimes I grow hemp too.
Last year

This year

(They were all males and got culled)

This little guy will probably stunt and end up 1 foot tall with exactly 1 bud.



Slowest growing heirloom tomatoes you ever saw, no way these things are going to fruit before frost.


Next year I'm doing mad veggies in the 20x10 area that gets full sun in my yard and all the water runoff.

Show me your gardens GBS, I bet they're better than mine.


Posted from my Pixel 6 Pro smartphone.


Vote Smugworth for GBS Moderator in 2025



THIS SHOWSTOPPING SIGGY MADE BY journeyman SIGSMITH Luvcow

https://i.imgur.com/EebjYYe.mp4
THIS SHOWSTOPPING SIGGY MADE BY MASTER SIGSMITH Literally A Person

Official height endorsed by a medical professional: 5'11.5"

Smugworth fucked around with this message at 01:40 on Jun 15, 2025

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Junk
Dec 20, 2003

Listen to reason, man. Why make your job difficult?
i love gardening but ive been stuck in a condo for a long time and have only been able to grow flower baskets on the balcony. next month we'll be in a place with a backyard and i cant wait to get a proper garden going and a pumpkin patch, probably will be too late in summer to really get going but next spring is gonna be colourful as gently caress

titty_baby_
Nov 11, 2015

God prosper long our noble king,
Our lives and safeties all;
A woeful hunting once there did
In Chevy Chase befall;

To drive the deer with hound and horn,
Earl Bernie took his way,
The child may rue that is unborn,
The hunting of that day.
Pretty sure your nursery haworthia are gasteraloe.

Smugworth
Apr 18, 2003

I’ll buy you shrimp every night of your life and you can eat it out of my butthole!
Might be, I was about to say they were hawarthia/gasteraloe hybrid or something from what I could determine way back when I had the mother plant. Good eye

titty_baby_
Nov 11, 2015

God prosper long our noble king,
Our lives and safeties all;
A woeful hunting once there did
In Chevy Chase befall;

To drive the deer with hound and horn,
Earl Bernie took his way,
The child may rue that is unborn,
The hunting of that day.
Plants are nutty. For those ones you have like 4 or 6 or however many genre of plants with however many species that can cross at some arbitrary level I don't know about. I want a tri-genre hybrid to push the boundaries but I'm not sure if one exists yet

titty_baby_
Nov 11, 2015

God prosper long our noble king,
Our lives and safeties all;
A woeful hunting once there did
In Chevy Chase befall;

To drive the deer with hound and horn,
Earl Bernie took his way,
The child may rue that is unborn,
The hunting of that day.


This was most of my gasteria/haworthia/haworthipsis collection a few months ago. There's still a bunch of flowers, and I've pollinated them with random related flowers I've found and have two seed pods on the glometra (lower middle, fat looking and green) and one on the baylissiana hybrid with all the flowers on the top far left.

The bottom far left is a hybrid I grew from seed from the baylissiana and an unknown parent that's maybe 5 years old. I raised like 6 of them from seed and have given most of them to friends and family.

I hope to get more from these new seeds!

titty_baby_ fucked around with this message at 02:16 on Jun 15, 2025

Szyznyk
Mar 4, 2008

I know I’m getting Home Depot gift cards for Father’s Day and I looked at the three empty planters out front and for a split second thought “Maybe this time will be different. Nice hibiscus are like 18 bucks” and then snapped back to reality and I’ll buy new window shades to replace the ones my six year old bent. Hibiscus are a cruel mistress.

Anderson Koopa
Jun 9, 2006

Like epic funny shit like this? Want to post some? Click >>here :twisted: for more.
Grimey Drawer
My MIL in law has more of a green thumb than I do. Cool plants!

Also good use of the falconry tag.

Seth Pecksniff
May 27, 2004

Mom says I'm too old for Shrek. Tell her she better check herself before she Shrek's herself. Mom asks if I've taken my meds. I say yes, then ask for an onion flavored cake. Mom says no. I call her a Farquaad bitch.
I like this thread

Thanks for making it smug :)

raw milk attorney
Sep 26, 2007

one of my side gigs is taking care of my sisters nursery/backyard while she's away (which is a majority of the time)

it's large

i took all of these in the past month or so except the last one

there are about 100 different species currently











































this past march in the middle of tulip season

raw milk attorney fucked around with this message at 04:08 on Jun 15, 2025

Grey Cat
Jun 3, 2023

:catdrugs:


I loved gardening as a kid but haven't had a garden since moving out. We recently got this house and I've wanted to put native colorado plants in the backyard (it's just dirt and weeds) but i haven't really figured out what to put in yet that's low water and will make local wildlife happy.

DeadFatDuckFat
Oct 29, 2012

This avatar brought to you by the 'save our dead gay forums' foundation.


Grey Cat posted:

I loved gardening as a kid but haven't had a garden since moving out. We recently got this house and I've wanted to put native colorado plants in the backyard (it's just dirt and weeds) but i haven't really figured out what to put in yet that's low water and will make local wildlife happy.

I assume colorado has some kind of Master Gardener program. You could probably go to an event and just ask a bunch of questions and they will talk your ear off about plants

You Are A Werewolf
Apr 26, 2010

Black Gold!

Arizona turf isn’t decent for actual gardens or non-native plants. A foot down and you hit purple granite (forgot the name of it) and caliche. I had a really nice fig tree going that one day just decided, “Welp, I’m out!” and died. Also, the orientation of my yard is always in the sun and never really gets shade, except for the porch in the morning.

So for now, all I’ve got are two rose bushes that began as tiny twigs I have on my porch. My sister’s house has the luckier layout where her whole backyard is always shaded, and she’s got plants galore. Also has an orange and lemon tree going strong. Dang it, now I want some oranges.

Buce
Dec 23, 2005

i'm growing smugwart in order to make tincture of smugwart

Smugworth
Apr 18, 2003

I’ll buy you shrimp every night of your life and you can eat it out of my butthole!
holy lilies barman

Smugworth
Apr 18, 2003

I’ll buy you shrimp every night of your life and you can eat it out of my butthole!

You Are A Werewolf posted:

Arizona turf isn’t decent for actual gardens or non-native plants. A foot down and you hit purple granite (forgot the name of it) and caliche. I had a really nice fig tree going that one day just decided, “Welp, I’m out!” and died. Also, the orientation of my yard is always in the sun and never really gets shade, except for the porch in the morning.

So for now, all I’ve got are two rose bushes that began as tiny twigs I have on my porch. My sister’s house has the luckier layout where her whole backyard is always shaded, and she’s got plants galore. Also has an orange and lemon tree going strong. Dang it, now I want some oranges.

go look for what grows in the desert

get seeds

You Are A Werewolf
Apr 26, 2010

Black Gold!

Smugworth posted:

go look for what grows in the desert

get seeds

Oh yeah, I’ve grown cacti and succulents in the past that were beautiful; eventually gave them away.

Thinking to get back into succulents. Very easy to maintain and they can be so drat colorful and nice to look at.

Wendigee
Jul 19, 2004

My neighbor just told me I'm welcome to help myself to their lettuce, they don't eat it much and it's growing like crazy with all the rain. Might snag some.from their garden

BAGS FLY AT NOON
Apr 6, 2011

Titanohyrax is an extinct genus of large to very large hyrax from the Eocene and Oligocene. Some species are estimated to have been as large as the modern rhinoceros. Estimates of body mass range from 600 kg (1,300 lb) to 1,300 kg (2,900 lb).

Buce posted:

i'm growing smugwart in order to make tincture of smugwart

Nasty

Wendigee
Jul 19, 2004

I mean if I wanted an essence of smugworth I could just get some poo poo out of the toilet :D

BAGS FLY AT NOON
Apr 6, 2011

Titanohyrax is an extinct genus of large to very large hyrax from the Eocene and Oligocene. Some species are estimated to have been as large as the modern rhinoceros. Estimates of body mass range from 600 kg (1,300 lb) to 1,300 kg (2,900 lb).

Wendigee posted:

My neighbor just told me I'm welcome to help myself to their lettuce, they don't eat it much and it's growing like crazy with all the rain. Might snag some.from their garden

Same. We’ve got so much romaine I’m giving it to anyone who’ll take it. Sugar snap peas are coming in decent. Peppers and tomatoes and cukes aren’t doing poo poo so far this year.

titty_baby_
Nov 11, 2015

God prosper long our noble king,
Our lives and safeties all;
A woeful hunting once there did
In Chevy Chase befall;

To drive the deer with hound and horn,
Earl Bernie took his way,
The child may rue that is unborn,
The hunting of that day.

Wendigee posted:

My neighbor just told me I'm welcome to help myself to their lettuce, they don't eat it much and it's growing like crazy with all the rain. Might snag some.from their garden

gently caress yeah get it

Smugworth
Apr 18, 2003

I’ll buy you shrimp every night of your life and you can eat it out of my butthole!
Look at this big dogwood I have

I'm not sure if it was planted or just a volunteer but I let it get as big as it wanted

It's so big and I love it

Bugs and birds love it too



titty_baby_
Nov 11, 2015

God prosper long our noble king,
Our lives and safeties all;
A woeful hunting once there did
In Chevy Chase befall;

To drive the deer with hound and horn,
Earl Bernie took his way,
The child may rue that is unborn,
The hunting of that day.
You get any good fruit off that thing?

Smugworth
Apr 18, 2003

I’ll buy you shrimp every night of your life and you can eat it out of my butthole!
Yeah I got these two stinky dogs off it one year

redshirt
Aug 11, 2007

I want to get a few rhododendrons (I think that's the right name - big flowering bush, perennial, bees love them). Any tips? I have a challenging environment but I do know they can thrive in my area. I'd just need to pick a good spot(s).

titty_baby_
Nov 11, 2015

God prosper long our noble king,
Our lives and safeties all;
A woeful hunting once there did
In Chevy Chase befall;

To drive the deer with hound and horn,
Earl Bernie took his way,
The child may rue that is unborn,
The hunting of that day.
Rhododendrons can vary in size, flower size, evergreen/deciduous, etc...Lotta different species but generally they like acidic soil and don't do drought. What people call azaleas are also technically rhododendrons, but the term is usually used for smaller/deciduous species.

What is your climate/general location? There may be some native species that will do well where you are.

Also, funny enough, a lot of rhododendrons are toxic to bees, or at least honey bees, to the point where honey from rhododendron flowers can cause hallucinations and diarrhea

redshirt
Aug 11, 2007

titty_baby_ posted:

Rhododendrons can vary in size, flower size, evergreen/deciduous, etc...Lotta different species but generally they like acidic soil and don't do drought. What people call azaleas are also technically rhododendrons, but the term is usually used for smaller/deciduous species.

What is your climate/general location? There may be some native species that will do well where you are.

Also, funny enough, a lot of rhododendrons are toxic to bees, or at least honey bees, to the point where honey from rhododendron flowers can cause hallucinations and diarrhea

Maine, cold, rocky soil. But some guy not too far away has two huge bushes - they're so big though they're more like small bushy trees. With huge flowers, and there's bees all over them, so I hope the bees know what they're doing. So I know at least those kind can thrive here.

Squiggle
Sep 29, 2002

I don't think she likes the special sauce, Rick.


We've been in our home for two years now and let whatever the old lady had planted when we moved in just run hulkamania wild while we focused on other things. We have a corner with some really cool tall orange flowers and a bush of something pink that haven't hit peak yet, but along the other fence we have a patch of irises that spread a little big more each year and had already propagated past the brick-lined area the old lady had planted them in.

They peaked a few weeks ago, here are two of the first ones:



Our roses did pretty terribly last year, so this year I'm trying to bring them back to life - the ones in the back all had some degree of rust, so treating that has been a chore. They're blooming this year at least, but not exactly healthy looking yet. :(

edit: found a video I took of the orange guys for my grandma-in-law exactly one year ago today:

https://i.imgur.com/H985DP8.mp4

They explode in the end of June, and they require pretty much zero care. I don't even know what they are!

Squiggle fucked around with this message at 16:16 on Jun 16, 2025

redshirt
Aug 11, 2007

I've got a few of those orange guys who grow wild down on the road. I keep hoping they'll spread, but no luck yet.

Squiggle
Sep 29, 2002

I don't think she likes the special sauce, Rick.


They're daylilies! Aka ditch lilies and Fourth of July lilies, which jives with your down-by-the-road and my explodes-end-of-june.

They're very pretty, but definitely not native in Colorado and spread probably too easily (which bears out here, I have to keep killing new shoots to keep them from overrunning).

Some day, I will dig out that corner garden and plant true natives.

Squiggle fucked around with this message at 16:15 on Jun 16, 2025

redshirt
Aug 11, 2007

Squiggle posted:

They're daylilies! Aka ditch lilies and Fourth of July lilies, which jives with your down-by-the-road and my explodes-end-of-june

Wow, the ones I'm talking about are literally in a ditch. That's funny.

titty_baby_
Nov 11, 2015

God prosper long our noble king,
Our lives and safeties all;
A woeful hunting once there did
In Chevy Chase befall;

To drive the deer with hound and horn,
Earl Bernie took his way,
The child may rue that is unborn,
The hunting of that day.

Squiggle posted:

They're daylilies! Aka ditch lilies and Fourth of July lilies, which jives with your down-by-the-road and my explodes-end-of-june

Good catch. I thought orange lily at first, as the flowers are very similar, but the leaves are different.

nullandvoid
Mar 7, 2006

And what rough beast, its hour come round at last, slouches towards Bethlehem to be born?
Going to post my tiny city backyard garden:


Starting at the bottom left we have our pepper plants in pots and our tomato, our strawberries which we have covered with some metal netting, a raised garden bed with celery, onions, lettuce, kale- well it's got quite a few things- then onwards and upwards to the upper corner which is all raspberries, held together by our homemade clothesline contraption, and next to that we have our blackberries and grapevine. On the other side of the path we have two honey crisp apple trees. We trade with neighbors every year for different things and it's helped bring our little neighborhood together.

I'm pretty proud of everything we've managed to grow in such a small space.

redshirt
Aug 11, 2007

That's a fantastic backyard, congrats!

nullandvoid
Mar 7, 2006

And what rough beast, its hour come round at last, slouches towards Bethlehem to be born?

redshirt posted:

That's a fantastic backyard, congrats!

:tipshat:

Much appreciated! I'm especially proud of that concrete pad with the brick stamp. We found a guy to replace a wooden patio with a giant concrete pad, and it was his idea to mix in some red brick dye and stamp it so that it looks like a brick pad.

Adds a nice touch to everything.

Squiggle
Sep 29, 2002

I don't think she likes the special sauce, Rick.


I am so jealous of your edible gardening! All of our plants are ornamental. I haven't been brave enough to plant tomatoes or peppers since we got here, although we sure as poo poo have the direct sunlight for them now. That was always the big hangup in our last place.

We have a raised box on legs that we used for squash and sugar peas on our back deck, and I really want to get that set up again, but it's June and I think doing it now would just mean disappointment. But then again, I don't know how bad it would go to transplant container tomatoes into it at this point. I know less about that than flowers.

edit: The little landscape roses by the walk up front are doing much better than the ones in the back though! Missed their peak bloom by a few days, but these fuckers glow:





(Also pictured, all of our empty containers)

Squiggle fucked around with this message at 16:41 on Jun 16, 2025

Bloodfart McCoy
Jul 20, 2007

That's a high quality avatar right there.
Having a lawn is my least favorite thing about owning a home.

I hate mowing it.
I hate pulling weeds.
I hate the flowerbed upkeep.
I hate raking leaves.
I hate pruning trees.
I don't even like sitting on it that much.

I can't wait to retire and move the the goddamn dessert.

The French Army
Mar 28, 2013

:france: Honneur et Patrie :france:




les choses dans la vie que je choisis sont ilovebeersooomuch
I moved into a new house last February and since it will be the last time I ever move I have been hard at work putting the property to good use. I tore out all the ornamental plants and replaced them with fruit. The front yard was carefully measured and planted with as many fruit trees as could fit. I built five raised beds in the backyard and stripped out sod for a vegetable garden. So far I am growing apples, pears, peaches, plums, serviceberries, blueberries, black currants, black raspberries, strawberries and grapes. Veggies are tomatoes, peppers, peas, lima beans and rhubarb. I plan to add maypop passionfruit, maybe this year if I can find it but next year is probably more likely.

I always say that there isn't any point in owning property if you don't put it to work for you. Even the lawn and mulch beds produce something - dandelions and meadow mushrooms in the lawn, and winecap mushrooms in the mulch. I'll post some photos when I can.

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titty_baby_
Nov 11, 2015

God prosper long our noble king,
Our lives and safeties all;
A woeful hunting once there did
In Chevy Chase befall;

To drive the deer with hound and horn,
Earl Bernie took his way,
The child may rue that is unborn,
The hunting of that day.

Bloodfart McCoy posted:

Having a lawn is my least favorite thing about owning a home.

I hate mowing it.
I hate pulling weeds.
I hate the flowerbed upkeep.
I hate raking leaves.
I hate pruning trees.
I don't even like sitting on it that much.

I can't wait to retire and move the the goddamn dessert.

Can you not remove it now?

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