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It was 12 seconds long, NOT 16, and the experience was overshadowed by Andre the Giant's strange heavy breathing.
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Jul 5, 2025 04:11
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Went down to New York for 9-11 but did not see George Bush doing anything.
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Jul 5, 2025 04:35
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I thought hanging out with Ben Franklin would get me laid and it did, but everybody smelled like poo poo
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Jul 5, 2025 04:37
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some of the vaudeville acts were p cool and funny, but others were way more racist than advertised. also caught tb @ the theater, so when I beamed back into my own time stream I had to hit sickbay for a hypospray and then use like 3 whole days pto to get over it. that part fkn suuucked
SatansOnion fucked around with this message at 04:44 on Jul 5, 2025 |
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Jul 5, 2025 04:42
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Went up to Big Sur and hung out with Jack Kerouac, what a sad sack. I was happy to get back to town.
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Jul 5, 2025 04:59
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These citizens of the future have the capability to access the entirety of humanity's amassed knowledge at will via a simple handheld device. Regretfully, it turns out that it mostly "sucks".
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Jul 5, 2025 06:25
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The Romans thought I was extremely elderly at the age of 45. How rude! However, I got to eat garum and silphium and that was cool.
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Jul 5, 2025 06:43
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BAD SERVICE!! FOOD TAKES FOREVER AND THE LINE IS TOO LONG!! - Future Boomer, 1920s America soup line review
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Jul 5, 2025 06:57
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Hospitality at Grugs cave left a lot to be desired, definitely a language barrier here with the staff but not insurmountable. Freshest fish you ever had though almost worth it for that. Pack a camping mattress
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Jul 5, 2025 07:00
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The 2027 nuclear holocaust was incredible but our hotel double booked the room and we had to wait in the lobby for over a hour for them to sort it out.
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Jul 5, 2025 07:00
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Very disappointed at how gaudy this "great barrier reef" is, coral is supposed to be bleached white! This is just like that time I went to Greece to check out the statues
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Jul 5, 2025 14:21
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Riding horseback with a Mongol horde was not as fun as the brochure made it seem.
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Jul 5, 2025 14:25
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The battle was NOT as glamorous as the ABBA song makes it sound
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Jul 5, 2025 14:30
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I went back to the future but my mother was not particularly horny for me.
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Jul 5, 2025 15:07
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Didn’t manage to shoot my dinosaur and when I came back everything was really hard to read. They should really warn you ahead of time.
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Jul 5, 2025 15:08
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Third trip back. Still haven't saved Elvis.
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Jul 5, 2025 16:54
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I've been to the End of Time. Let me tell you, it's super loving boring.
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Jul 5, 2025 16:55
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I just wanted a cup of tea, but some weird men dressed as Mohawk warriors dumped it all into the harbor.
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Jul 5, 2025 16:56
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The crust on the loaves of bread was weak and the fish needed seasoning
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Jul 5, 2025 16:57
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I went to 14th century Europe and all I got was this lousy bubonic plague!
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Jul 5, 2025 17:25
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Have yet to meet an actual Spartan with 6 pack abs
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Jul 5, 2025 17:39
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Butterfly effect changes lotto numbers. gently caress it.
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Jul 5, 2025 18:32
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turns out nixon WAS a crook
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Jul 5, 2025 18:43
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Horse poo poo everywhere and the hotel room was small and no ensuite. You could barely see more than a block in any direction, everywhere filthy with soot from all the chimneys. Every indoor space suffocating in cigar smoke but mercifully this masked the other pervasive smells of kerosene and other miasma. Yuk. Snuck in on one of Teslas fund raisers and oh boy what a circus. Guy turned out to be a loving looney toon, a total charlatan and hustler entertaining his patrons with cheap high voltage tricks and nonsense tales of conversing with Martians through the "aether." The man was shamelessly peddling shares in mad scam inventions like infinite wireless energy and such and I think he was getting frisky with the pigeons. Total weirdo. Mark Twain was a hoot though
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Jul 5, 2025 21:43
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Couldn't understand a loving word Shakespeare was talking about. I now have fleas, lice and, inexplicably, gout.
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Jul 5, 2025 21:49
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Line to kill baby Hitler was too long.
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Jul 5, 2025 21:52
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frankly just stunned at the breathtaking vulgarity, racism, sexism, homophobia and, oddly enough, naziism of mr shakespeare.
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Jul 5, 2025 21:54
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I went back in time to visit (insert any historical person here) and it turned out they were a pedophile.
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Jul 5, 2025 21:56
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Nutted in some maiden, then holy ghosted her. Now there's wars and crosses everywhere, what in the future?
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Jul 5, 2025 22:02
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The primordial soup tasted terrible and didn't come with any crackers.
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Jul 5, 2025 22:42
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Buttchocks posted:The primordial soup tasted terrible and didn't come with any crackers. Hey Gene
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Jul 5, 2025 22:45
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Smugworth posted:Hey Gene Hah. lol even
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Jul 5, 2025 22:58
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edit: eh could be funnier
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Jul 5, 2025 23:32
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The Marquis de Sade was pretty cool until he made me...actually I don't want to talk about it.
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Jul 6, 2025 00:03
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I was just trying to get rid of these lovely paintings of dogs that were everywhere so I went back and tore up the guy's art school application. My bad I guess.
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Jul 6, 2025 00:22
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It turns out Knight Rider was not a historical documentary, the car was just a prop. David Hasselhof was, however, able to negotiate the peace treaty with the Orion Nebula as we'd hoped.
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Jul 6, 2025 00:39
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That conception was NOT immaculate. Ew. Ew. Ew. Ew. EWWW!!!!
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Jul 6, 2025 00:41
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Had a nice chat with Ed Gein. Funny guy. He asked me to lend him a hand. I doubt he'll give it back though
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Jul 6, 2025 00:44
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for more.
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Everybody I met called me fat. I mean EVERYBODY
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Jul 6, 2025 00:55
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| # ? Jul 8, 2025 15:18 |
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All You Can Eat posted:Everybody I met called me fat. I mean EVERYBODY ********SWWWWOOOOOOOPS down..... Hey
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Jul 6, 2025 00:59
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