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Oh no! It appears you have [checks notes] peacefully minded your own business for too long, and the fell abomination of SASS lurches to hideous mockery of life in a faraway land. On the bright side, it enables you to spend holiday energy with people who understand you instead of your idiot relatives who cannot fathom your unending thirst for offensive t-shirts and worthless penny stocks. How, you ask? I didn't s- Good question! This is Something Awful Secret Santa, wherein you will be assigned some other goon to send gifts to, who will in turn be assigned some other goon to send gifts to, all the way along a sort of goon gift centipede until some mysterious goon is assigned you. You will send your presumably bee-related gift or gifts such that they will arrive on or before December 24 once you have been assigned in early December. You are encouraged to undertake at most light e-stalking of your victim, and also post in this thread regarding your likes and wants to ensure your santa's light e-stalking is easily accomplished. The site will also have an anonymous messaging function so that you can chat without revealing your secret identity. Once you receive gifts you are strongly encouraged to post them and a nice thank-you in here. It feels good! Perhaps better even than owning $.000021 of Gamestop stock that can no longer be exchanged. But - Speaking of gifts, you should expect to receive something worth between 0 and 50 dollars. It's more about receiving Culture or at least something fun moreso than a new TV. I don't have cable.  That's the spirit. For the budget conscious, the site allows you to demand that you only be assigned someone in the same country as you, or nearby. This year there is a new option due to  tariffs: "international/unrestricted Except Not The US". Use it if you have to, sorry US goons.Also, last year's thread is here, if you want to get an idea of what it's like. It genuinely is a great source of holiday cheer and sentiment! I've posted in the thread but nothing is happening!! Ye-es ... I thought that might happen. Well, you could try registering on the site. I recommend it, really. To forestall your followup questions, the remaining itinerary goes like this: Now-Dec 1: you post in here, hopefully, and make sure that the site tells you you will be assigned on your profile page. It's at the top. Can't miss it. Dec 1-4: Assignments are finalized and provided. Dec 14: You are strongly encouraged to have sent your gifts by this day. Dec 24-25: Everyone opens their presents!  Dec 29: As is foretold in ancient manuscripts, Yog-Sothoth arises again to devour the world. All is destroyed. What if my santee gets banned? I like to say they haven't been banned from christmas, but if it's something egregious let me know. Your honorably withstanding the slight of not receiving a public thank-you will be noted in your permanent record. What if there aren't enough people? This does sometimes happen - especially if you live somewhere unpopular and choose 'local only'. I'll do my best. Speaking of which, I intend to run some banner ads this year, so if you feel like you're good at design and want to make one please reach out! The site is erroring  Sorry! PM me and I'll track it down. I'm not getting my verification email! Please double-check the email on the email verification page. Also, check your spam folder, it hides there a lot. I made a mistake and need to change something in my profile. In the interests of getting this out the door I didn't complete that feature or the "I can't participate after all" bailout function. Or password resets. All of those will be added soon, so sit tight! Or if it really worries you PM me and I'll mangle the database by hand. Finally, as a thank you for reading all these words, enjoy the best wrapping paper that has ever been created: 
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Nov 10, 2025 07:13
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| # ? Dec 15, 2025 07:28 |
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Yay! SASS!!!! Sign up, people! It's the most wonderful time of the year! Dear Santee: I have lots of resources for the strange and wonderful, so you will likely receive a bunch of regional stuff, plus things that likely can't be easily described. Unless you are able to describe angry bees. Dear Santa: I am a recently retired science teacher. I used to ask for science toys for my classroom. Now I can't lie, so I ask for science toys for myself. I like science stuff, any and all science stuff. I also like regional things from your area, whatever it is. Also, if you like doing handmade stuff and feel like sending it on, I love goon-made things! I have a collection of them from years past. They are great! Also, I am married, and Mrs. Genesplicer likes handmade stuff and regional stuff. We also have cats and dogs (6 cats, and 4 small dogs.) Genesplicer fucked around with this message at 07:19 on Nov 11, 2025 |
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Nov 10, 2025 08:35
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After skipping several years (well more like 5 probably) I should probably sign up for this again! Mainly because I'm finally done moving around. Also sup former Santa ^^^
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Nov 10, 2025 09:36
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Thank you for the "not the US option"!!
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Nov 10, 2025 09:54
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FYI international mail generally requires a Real Name and a phone number! Remember the time forums user Hot British Sex had to retrieve a SASS package from the post office...
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Nov 10, 2025 10:03
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*preps bees*
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Nov 10, 2025 10:09
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tiaz posted:This year there is a new option due to Thank you so much! Sending packages into the US from  now involves downloading a separate tariff documentation app, international goons gotta check your postal service to see how this is being handled by your country.
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Nov 10, 2025 10:22
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Beez in the trap
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Nov 10, 2025 10:50
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I'm so excited! Hi Santa! I'm a rapidly aging married ladygoon with two goons in training, two indoor cats, two outdoor cats that belong to my jerk neighbor who doesn't feed them, and some squirrels, foxes, groundhogs, and raccoons that live in my backyard that don't know they're my pets, but they ARE. I would love anything interesting from your home area, but if you need more help, some things that make me happy are (in no particular order): Pearl Jam, Beetlejuice, Goonies, What We Do in the Shadows, It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia, and Disneyana. I send lots of snail mail, so stickers and stationery are always useful. I spend a fair amount of my free time knitting, crocheting, and doing cross stitch. Favorite colors are red, black, and rose gold. Dear Santee: I will do my best to craft you something to delight and/or terrify.
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Nov 10, 2025 14:38
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Let's gooooooo. We're kinda in a weird spot where we're living in the states now but it's not unlikely we could be moved to Australia by Xmas or January. So I'm unsure how this might work for us as a santee?
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Nov 10, 2025 16:15
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YES! Santa: I'm a goon living in Phoenix with my wife and cats (though this Friday it will be one cat  ) I love TTRPGs and I'm pretty much a perma DM. I love listening to and making music, and I'm getting back into my old loves of photography and skateboarding. I don't drink anymore, but consume plenty of MARIJUANAS. Santee: I hope I can spoil you this year. Troll Bridgington fucked around with this message at 23:23 on Nov 12, 2025 |
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Nov 10, 2025 17:09
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Grey Cat posted:Let's gooooooo. Do you have a friend or family member who could be the mailing address and send it forward to you if you move
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Nov 10, 2025 19:10
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Grey Cat posted:Let's gooooooo. Either someone here prepared to forward it, or someone there prepared to stage it, I suppose. You may be able to arrange that commercially with a UPS Store or equivalent. You can also coordinate with your santa, of course - maybe they can send quickly, or late, depending on when exactly your move dates are.
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Nov 10, 2025 19:30
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Yes, it's that time of the year again! I didn't participate last year, but I'll make up for it, my dear Santee! Sorry Santa, I'm a very powerful lurker and almost exclusively post only in the SASS threads. So there isn't much to go from there regarding my interests. However, I do enjoy some loval stuff from wherever it is you're from! If you need further details, just let me know!
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Nov 10, 2025 19:36
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I think that can be arranged, thanks!
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Nov 10, 2025 20:04
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Right, okay, let's do this! I am in the US (soz) but I will do my damndest to both give and receive SASSmas 'cheer' again this year. I've got my eye on you, postal gremlins. I am an annoyed American ladyperson, round, middle-aged, and in questionable health, with all the usual hobbies plus a few others. A look at my post history will find a fair amount of videogaming blather as well as talk about my cats and my cancers. Soz again. I enjoy reading, playing videogames, peeing normally, cooking, eating, performing all kinds of crafts but mostly stuff based around soft goods (sewing, embroidery, crochet, and so on), and the collection of weird objects including giant poseable toys and trashy seventy-year-old pulp novels. If you sent me a jar filled with glass eyeballs I would likely both thank you for it and mean it. If you sent me something you made yourself, with your own goony little hands, I would love you forever. In a platonic and generally non-invasive way, of course. - I am excited to eat cool foods that are local to you or that you made yourself! I have no allergies and very few disliked foods. I don't really drink booze all that often, but should you want to send me some, I'll try it. - I want to see what kind of weird/handmade/fun/ridiculous things you think are worthy of being displayed in my living quarters! I have shelf space and wall space. I am rapidly running out of space for fridge magnets but for you, fellow goon, I will get rid of some of the more boring ones. - I do love oversized t-shirts (2X or so). If it's completely inexplicable or from somewhere local to you, that's perfect. - I collect giant art dolls, handmade action figures, and other miniature items. Are you tired of stepping on your kid's scattered Barbie shoes? Send 'em over. I have two cats, one partner, and no children. NSFW is fine with me, although if you make me blush myself to death while explaining my gift to my partner, my tombstone will name and shame you. Here is my slow-moving and chill tumblr for you to refer to, should my post history not be enough. I intend to inflict terrible crafts upon my Santee. Also local and/or homemade food unless they specifically request otherwise. I respect your boundaries, my Santee, but I do not respect your aesthetic preferences unless it suits me to do so.
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Nov 10, 2025 20:37
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I think I got verified, but I somehow either saved an incorrect password or angered the site in some way because now I can't log in. Never managed to pull that off before. There any way I can fix that? Grammarchist fucked around with this message at 20:44 on Nov 10, 2025 |
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Nov 10, 2025 20:41
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I had a great time participating in last year's SASS, looking forward to it again this year! To my Santa: - I like anything handmade, and I love learning about how the handmade thing was made. - I'm an old married guy with a couple of cats. Things for cats are always welcome, though be warned that whatever it is will almost certainly be eaten by the dumber cat within a matter of minutes. To my Santee: - you're probably going to get something weird and/or possibly useful from my forge. I'll do my best to make it relevant to your interests.
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Nov 10, 2025 20:42
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Grammarchist posted:I think I got verified, but I somehow either saved an incorrect password or angered the site in some way because now I can't log in. Never managed to pull that off before. I'm also having this issue, so I think the site is probably angry at all of us for making it do its job.
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Nov 10, 2025 20:46
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Aww, I miss the old registration captcha, I always thought that was clever. Hail Santa! I am a 43-y.o. manchild who likes board & tabletop games and tries to draw, and has a weird fixation on parachutes and skydiving stuff. I'm always happy to get home decor or conversation-starter stuff from wherever you live, especially now since I had a house fire earlier this year and a lot of my decor and keepsake stuff got trashed. Also, I have a sweet tooth and no food allergies, and would love any novel treats from where you're at. I'm looking forward to this. I'm ready for 2025 to end.
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Nov 10, 2025 21:16
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  Thank you for hosting my favorite thread of the year, Tiaz! Dear Santa, If you want gift ideas, here is little bit about me: - I'm a 40/F from Minnesota. I love the 80's and I would describe myself as very blonde, girly, and my favorite color is baby pink. - I love food and cooking. I get really into international cuisine and hunting down new spices and ingredients. If you want to send me a recipe card of your favorite dish or something you just invented I will really enjoy making it. I enjoy grocery shopping, meal prepping, and I watch a lot of food related tv and documentaries. Feel free to send local treats, but please no meat or black liquorish. I also enjoy coffee and tea. And I'm a vegan. - I'm really into health, fitness and working out. I've lost 122 lbs on my own and I go to the gym several times a week. I like playing pickleball. - I meditate, journal, and do yoga, and I'm also into lucid dreaming. I like rocks, crystals, smudge, incense, essential oils, and herbalism. - I'm into beauty supplies like hairclips, scrunchies, soaps, face masks, and lip gloss. - I participate in the SA year long card exchange thread and love postage stamps, rubber stamps, stationary, stickers, washi tape, ribbon, and pretty paper ephemera. - I like thrift shopping and antiquing for stuff from the 1940's/wartime.  Anything you send will be lovingly appreciated. I still use all the things I've been gifted in SASS over the years.  Santee, I'll get you at least one thing local to Minnesota. I'm fairly crafty, so I'll try to make you a little something homemade too. I will lurk through your post history and do my best to get you something you will enjoy. Blonde Thighmaster fucked around with this message at 23:27 on Nov 20, 2025 |
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Nov 11, 2025 00:24
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Picayune, Grammarchist, Ulillinguist posted:login problems I think I've fixed this. please try again! 
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Nov 11, 2025 01:00
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tiaz posted:I think I've fixed this. please try again! I am fully registered. Thank you Tiaz!
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Nov 11, 2025 01:34
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Thanks again for doing this, Tiaz, and for making the site forgive my sins. Seems to be working now. Santee: Santa Claus is on the Dole, unfortunately even the Dole is considerably diminished... https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aJK79MOdgrQ. (Un)lucky for you, he's been preparing for this all year! Your package is 85% packed with anti-vampire equipment (essential considering our current overlords), battle cats, artifacts, unique postage and BEES. That 15% that remains will be decided by your posts. There may be a mix-tape of this year's Awful Xmas Music Album if enough songs come in by shipping time. This year has been naughty, but not you! I'll do my best to give you something fun to post about when the time comes. Santa: I still believe in you, if nothing else! I like obscure local history, myths and such. If you live near a Civil War Battlefield those brochures are always nice to add to my collection. Supporting local tourism hubs is a matter of principle for me anyway. I also like weird things, especially if they're something from your local area. Feel free to send me something you love and want to share as well. I can always use the positive energy! I promise to post your package with due reverence upon receipt.
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Nov 11, 2025 01:40
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Hello dead gay friends! It's time for my yearly injection of forums joy! As little time as I spend kicking around the forums these days, I try not to miss SASS since SA seems to get what Christmas is all about : weird presents from the internet. Sorry, Santa, that there's not much posting to lurk, but please know that I'm still a goon at heart and that I'll be grateful for whatever you send. I'm in my 40s and have entirely stopped developing as a human being, so here's my perpetual Christmas list: Here's five general likes: -Random fun stuff -wrapping paper and little junk -laughing on Christmas morning -goony sorts of things -local treasures and five general dislikes: -Anime and otaku culture -NSFW -Sweets -pinku bento box -that's about it And even specifics! -Lovecraft -Fine alcohol -DIY stuff. -Drawings and other artsy, craftsy stuff, if you're good at that -Perfumes, fragrances, and aftershaves -Spaaaaaaaaaaaace -Fun projects in a box -Fossils -The Church of the Subgenius -A nice, handwritten letter -Cool old stuff -Screen-printed T-shirts (medium) -Renaissance festivals -Deadly, angry bees Here are a couple of previous presents, which I really enjoyed https://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?noseen=0&threadid=4017633&pagenumber=6&perpage=40#post528461080 https://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=4017633&pagenumber=9&perpage=40&userid=0#post528660959 https://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?noseen=0&threadid=3985259&pagenumber=10&perpage=40#post520213356 Santee, you're doomed. Spiderjelly fucked around with this message at 05:43 on Nov 11, 2025 |
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Nov 11, 2025 04:31
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Spiderjelly posted:Hello dead gay friends! It's time for my yearly injection of forums joy! As little time as I spend kicking around the forums these days, I try not to miss SASS since SA seems to get what Christmas is all about : weird presents from the internet. Sorry, Santa, that there's not much posting to lurk, but please know that I'm still a goon at heart and that I'll be grateful for whatever you send. I'm in my 40s and have entirely stopped developing as a human being, so here's my perpetual Christmas list: I just wanted to say that going through the Chernobyl-themed gift box remains a cherished holiday memory. Admittedly my cherished holiday memories also include bad Christmas song parodies in the Awful Xmas Music thread, but I like to think it still means something.
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Nov 11, 2025 04:41
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Well, hey, you're welcome. Sass should be fun like that. E: how's the watch?
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Nov 11, 2025 05:35
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Spiderjelly posted:Well, hey, you're welcome. Sass should be fun like that. Still works! At the moment, it says, "IT'S CHRISTMAS TIME, COMRADE."
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Nov 11, 2025 06:05
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Omg it's SASS time again!! Time to shake up the beehives! Santa: I'm a 40 year old ladygoon with a husband and two cats (will post pictures on request). I'm not super picky nor do I have allergies. I love getting local stuff and/or handmade stuff especially if its weird. I crochet, do roller derby, I love science and space stuff and love Nerd poo poo like board games, ttrpgs and even a little bit of mtg stuff. If you need more ideas, I'm happy to help, especially as i mostly only post in SASS threads anymore but maybe those posts will also help too! Santee: I'll take your requests and interests in account but you'll probably get something handmade and delicious local snacks and maybe Cincinnati chili if youre far enough away to have not experienced that particular joy (I'm so sorry)
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Nov 11, 2025 13:56
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It's been many years since I did any remotely irl goon stuff. Time to make some questionable decisions. Lately, I'm into growing herbs, gardening, vegetarian cooking, and card games. I also like listening to and playing music on multiple instruments. It's virtually impossible to disappoint me, so just get whatever you think is cool!
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Nov 11, 2025 15:24
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I clicked all the links and now I have Hank Hill singing a song stuck in my head, which is fine. Edit: I would like whatever you send my way. If you need hints, your favorite book and a letter about your year would be awesome. If you make stuff, it will go on display. kafkasgoldfish fucked around with this message at 16:34 on Nov 11, 2025 |
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Nov 11, 2025 16:31
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Guess we aren't worrying about address at the moment, so here goes. For Santa: First year I got a goatse mug. Second year I was gifted some very thoughtful pins of my own art and some local cheese and sausages gift wrapped to look like a penis. I'm a goonette-ish person and I come bundled with weird goon, Hotel Kpro. We like homemade stuff and snacks (no allergies here). Local things from your area! We like weird art or occult oddities. We like video games. I like darksouls and retro stuff or rhythm games, he likes helldivers and halo. Balatro has been a household addiction. I'm a roller coaster addict. We have a cat, but he's terrible about toys. Bees are cool and good. I'll wear random unisex Tees, the bigger and baggier the better. >XL I love goon art/crafts, good or bad. For Santee: We've been collecting weird knickknacks for you this year. If you're the right candidate, you may receive a graffiti penis book. Grey Cat fucked around with this message at 22:51 on Nov 11, 2025 |
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Nov 11, 2025 17:28
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Hey Santee: I've been stocking up on bees all year. Hi Santa: I like feathers, snowflakes, and stars. I especially like local edible treats from your area. (Hate chocolate mixed with mint or fruit though. Allergic to cherries.) I love stationery, crafty stuff, and would cherish anything handmade of yours. I have a very stalkable post history, and you can probably check prior years of the SASS threads for other ideas. fake e: Hope shipping from Canada isn't hosed!
Pixelante fucked around with this message at 23:06 on Nov 11, 2025 |
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Nov 11, 2025 22:43
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Time to bee merry Hi Santa! I always like local stuff. Outside that in into the usual nerd stuff - books, games, alcohol. No allergies in the house to worry about. Pets include a snake and a 4 year old child.
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Nov 12, 2025 08:49
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Hello! This is my first time doing anything like this so hopefully I dont screw anything up For Santee: I have access to a 3d printer and am a 3d modeller myself so that'll probably be my go-to for anything "hand"crafted. If you like stuff clearly from another part of the world I happen to live in Ireland, who proudly has chintzy tourist crap as one of its major exports, and there's also a couple charity shops I can probably find more weird/vintage stuff in if that's your wheelhouse. For Santa: I collect a lot of nerd crap but mainly transformers, physical PC games and comics. Obscure and weird is loved in this area, anything with a story behind it. I have some pretty crappy food sensitivity from my ADHD so I'd avoid anything edible, and I looove handmade stuff and will find a place for honour for it somewhere in my mess of a room.
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Nov 12, 2025 17:59
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OH BOY OH BOY OH BOY OH BOY OH BOY OH BOY OH BOY !!!! Dearest Santa, I am a lady goon with no pets (BOOOOOOO!!!), no kids, and one male partner in crime. I love horror movies, Brit-coms, alcohol, cats, capybaras, I play and watch ice hockey (goalie! Fleury :goat: ), watch rugby when I can (we had a MLR team but the owner was a dick so, yeah), into photography (room full of camera: digital, instant, film), retro music formats (on a cassette and minidisc kick right now), cozy video games, etc. If you make things, I would love something you make! Baking, crafty, all that kind of stuff. That's neat! You got a local favorite treat? SEND IT! You got a "I loving dare you to try this comestible"? gently caress. Yeah. One of the highlights was having my mom taste salmiakki liqueur because she "loves black licorice." I almost got kicked out of the house on Christmas day. Giggle. Dislikes: Nuts (not allergic), cilantro, durian I know this isn't too descriptive and I don't post hardly anymore (loving job), so once chat works, ask any question and stalk away. Dear Santee, You will get stuff. Some handmade. Some acquired from reputable dealers. Some from that shady dude a block over.
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Nov 12, 2025 22:20
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topenga posted:
Boo cilantro! Booo!
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Nov 12, 2025 22:24
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If I'm sent cilantro I will be very unhappy amd Xmas will be ruined.
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Nov 12, 2025 22:30
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Hmm. Durian full of cilantro... Not going to be able to shift that this year.
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Nov 12, 2025 23:10
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| # ? Dec 15, 2025 07:28 |
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My voice is my passport, and I am verified. IT IS TIME.
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Nov 13, 2025 01:43
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