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There's finally an energy drink for you! Monster Energy now has a fun, flirty, and sugar free (amirite ladies?) beverage JUST FOR YOU! Now they don't have to worry about a taste segmentation of the carbonated energy drink market! Because they made the only energy drink for  !
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Nov 10, 2025 23:06
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More like FART, amirite? all the carbonation has to go somewhere 
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Nov 10, 2025 23:09
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for more.
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LADY BAWLS
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Nov 10, 2025 23:19
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in a pinch you can wring out a dude wipe over a glass of FLRT to gender neutralize it. 10-15 drops should be plenty depending on how saturated the wipe is.
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Nov 10, 2025 23:25
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Dudes wipes for cleaning up my man mess.
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Nov 10, 2025 23:27
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Sugar Free Monster already exists. Everyone knows Rockstar is for boys and Monster is for girls. That's basic science.
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Nov 10, 2025 23:27
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syntaxfunction posted:Sugar Free Monster already exists. Everyone knows Rockstar is for boys and Monster is for girls. That's basic science. but which gender cops a reign?
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Nov 10, 2025 23:30
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numberoneposter posted:Dudes wipes for cleaning up my man mess. [Tim Allen style grunting]
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Nov 10, 2025 23:31
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syntaxfunction posted:Sugar Free Monster already exists. Everyone knows Rockstar is for boys and Monster is for girls. That's basic science. Where does Red Bull fall on the gender chart?
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Nov 10, 2025 23:32
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"Gen X and millennials are such alcoholic losers," the wise Gen Zer thinks while swigging on a can of streamer cobranded energy drink. The last glass of plain water they had was in kindergarten.
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Nov 10, 2025 23:33
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Pink Cow
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Nov 10, 2025 23:34
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Fabulousity posted:"Gen X and millennials are such alcoholic losers," the wise Gen Zer thinks while swigging on a can of streamer cobranded energy drink. The last glass of plain water they had was in kindergarten. It sounds like you have some issues you need to address. This thread isn't about BANG Energy, it's about FLRT (a softer, more feminine energy drink.).
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Nov 10, 2025 23:38
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Stocking my bedside mini fridge with FLRT to entice the .
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Nov 10, 2025 23:41
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Escape From Noise posted:Where does Red Bull fall on the gender chart? Extreme!
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Nov 10, 2025 23:43
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syntaxfunction posted:Extreme! I'm too old and white to keep up with all these new genders but I'm trying god drat it!
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Nov 10, 2025 23:44
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You'd think they'd have the budget to pay for someone who can actually draw a flower.
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Nov 10, 2025 23:46
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Brandfarlig posted:You'd think they'd have the budget to pay for someone who can actually draw a flower. Brandon! Just got a directive from marketing! They need a new label design for that girly energy drink we're rolling out. You know. FLRT! We need something chicks like. Hm. Let's think. Big tittied demon babe? No. That won't fly anymore. A lady gorilla with a dump truck aas? No. Same problem...gently caress. I dunno...flowers? Can you draw flowers?
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Nov 10, 2025 23:50
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Female focused energy innovation... Western civilisation can't die fast enough. We're nonsense people.
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Nov 10, 2025 23:58
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Gendered energy drinks only make sense when targeting men, what with their tendency to want to hold things and whatnot.
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Nov 11, 2025 00:00
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Lol my wife is suddenly into energy drinks because some tiktok told her that now there is like alani or something and it's energy drinks but for the girls and I was making fun of her a lot about it for buying into DUKE CANNON level of marketing but she got upset so I'm just gonna let her be about it
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Nov 11, 2025 00:09
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Paul FLRT
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Nov 11, 2025 00:11
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Brandfarlig posted:You'd think they'd have the budget to pay for someone who can actually draw a flower. HAS LID
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Nov 11, 2025 00:14
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i thought alani nu already had this market?
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Nov 11, 2025 00:14
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So we're really just going all in on doing away with vowels?
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Nov 11, 2025 00:17
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Gonna get a big rear end sharpie and add a line to the L on all the cans at target so they say FART
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Nov 11, 2025 00:17
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I thought Red Bull was the female focused energy drink given how many women I've seen ordering vodka and Red Bull over the years.
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Nov 11, 2025 00:33
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Funky See Funky Do posted:Female focused energy innovation... Western civilisation can't die fast enough. We're nonsense people. Sorry, haters. Too energized to die!
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Nov 11, 2025 00:33
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Drinking energy drinks together is so romantic!
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Nov 11, 2025 00:36
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Goop Egg For Men
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Nov 11, 2025 00:37
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Poppin some Pamprin with my Flirt
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Nov 11, 2025 00:45
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Escape From Noise posted:Sorry, haters. Too energized to die! We're up now, sure, but soon we're going to crash from all that sugar and caffeine - crash and burn!
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Nov 11, 2025 00:48
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drinkin' some fart for the ladies
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Nov 11, 2025 00:49
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Nooner posted:Lol my wife is suddenly into energy drinks because some tiktok told her that now there is like alani or something and it's energy drinks but for the girls and I was making fun of her a lot about it for buying into DUKE CANNON level of marketing but she got upset so I'm just gonna let her be about it lol my wife gave me poo poo when I was buying cases of monster 6mos later she was asking for cases of Alani They be shoppin 
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Nov 11, 2025 00:51
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Good news everyone
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Nov 11, 2025 01:09
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Smugworth posted:lol my wife gave me poo poo when I was buying cases of monster If it's any consolation I'm sure they both taste like poo poo.
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Nov 11, 2025 01:12
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We already got our own gender-specific soda with Dr. Pepper Ten, about time women got one.
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Nov 11, 2025 01:20
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Escape From Noise posted:If it's any consolation I'm sure they both taste like poo poo. Thank you for your conjecture but they’re both great drinks
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Nov 11, 2025 01:26
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Make it piss and im in
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Nov 11, 2025 01:27
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Smugworth posted:Thank you for your conjecture but they’re both great drinks It's about gender equality. They both taste equally terrible.
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Nov 11, 2025 01:31
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| # ? Dec 15, 2025 08:15 |
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Cyril Sneer posted:So we're really just going all in on doing away with vowels? I've been in the tech bro hellscape for most of my career, and I've been witness first hand to the death of vowels. I don't know who told people that vowels weren't "cool", but I guess he was very convincing.
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Nov 11, 2025 01:34
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