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If there's a restaurant I like and I recommend it to someone, it's guaranteed to be rear end the next time I go there.
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Nov 14, 2025 03:02
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If I have an important appointment tomorrow, I am compelled by witchcraft to consume dairy products
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Nov 14, 2025 03:05
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An evil warlock hexed me with clumsiness. I get through the day alive but I will be covered in bruises and cuts at the end of it.
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Nov 14, 2025 03:08
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Uncontrollable urge to read forum every day.
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Nov 14, 2025 03:13
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Cursed chair! They sent it to my psychotic off-meds neighbour. It was a goon that did it too but I've already cursed something of his as revenge so we're cool.
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Nov 14, 2025 03:16
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Always on time....
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Nov 14, 2025 03:19
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Love apples but can't have the skins so it becomes an inconvenient snack
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Nov 14, 2025 03:29
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Darude - Sandstorm
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Nov 14, 2025 03:31
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Is there anything at all happening tomorrow that isn't strictly routine? NO SLEEP FOR ME TONIGHT
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Nov 14, 2025 03:34
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I have been cursed with bladderus urinus multiplicus. Take a small sip from a thimble full of water, and my body somehow turns it into a regulation Olympic-sized swimming pool’s worth (I googled it and it’s roughly 660,000 gallons) of piss.
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Nov 14, 2025 03:49
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You Are A Werewolf posted:I have been cursed with bladderus urinus multiplicus. Take a small sip from a thimble full of water, and my body somehow turns it into a regulation Olympic-sized swimming pool’s worth (I googled it and it’s roughly 660,000 gallons) of piss. You might want to check your blood sugar
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Nov 14, 2025 04:10
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I can never be dealt a hand of cards that contains the 9 of diamonds.
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Nov 14, 2025 04:39
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back in 2004 a roommate convinced me to sign up for the world of warcraft beta
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Nov 14, 2025 06:33
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credburn posted:Is there anything at all happening tomorrow that isn't strictly routine? NO SLEEP FOR ME TONIGHT the warlock also got me with this one it is what I am doing right now
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Nov 14, 2025 06:47
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Funky See Funky Do posted:Cursed chair! They sent it to my psychotic off-meds neighbour. It was a goon that did it too but I've already cursed something of his as revenge so we're cool. hey what the gently caress
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Nov 14, 2025 09:18
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credburn posted:Is there anything at all happening tomorrow that isn't strictly routine? NO SLEEP FOR ME TONIGHT Witch bitch got us both.
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Nov 14, 2025 10:31
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the curse of butt trouble
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Nov 14, 2025 10:51
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credburn posted:Is there anything at all happening tomorrow that isn't strictly routine? NO SLEEP FOR ME TONIGHT Gotta set my alarm 15 minutes earlier? Better just stay awake all night
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Nov 14, 2025 11:10
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reduce balls
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Nov 14, 2025 11:36
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Touchless faucets. Last week I walked into a public restroom and one of the faucets was stuck on, water running. I do my business then proceed to the sink with the running faucet and as soon as my hands approach the water it immediately shuts off and I have to perform some kind of water dance to get water out of it in small bursts. IR presence detectors seem to hate me.
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Nov 14, 2025 12:10
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sneezing tastes like banana
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Nov 14, 2025 16:01
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I keep waking up in the same awful timeline
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Nov 14, 2025 16:09
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Buttchocks posted:sneezing tastes like banana I have a hosed up neck (a curse, but not a minor one) so I get the "sneezing feels like someone ripped the bones out of my arms" thing
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Nov 14, 2025 16:12
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Women only flirt with me in my wife's presence. Pretty sure this curse is my wife's doing but I can't fathom her long game.
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Nov 14, 2025 16:22
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Ziv Zulander posted:You might want to check your blood sugar Checked and always normal. I just drink a lot of water because I live in hellscape Arizona and am laying it on thick.
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Nov 14, 2025 16:26
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My stomach will make gurgling noises when I'm in a room with at least 5-6 people I've never met before. The sound increases proportionate to the number of people and the quietness of the room.
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Nov 14, 2025 16:42
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Groin pain
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Nov 14, 2025 16:56
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keep tripping over the giant dong
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Nov 14, 2025 16:58
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cantaloupe nuts
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Nov 14, 2025 17:16
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Every time my friends recommend a place or service, they either close down or change management the second I decide to actually go It's happened with multiple restaurants, an electronics store, a barber, multiple electricians, a games store, and a few others
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Nov 14, 2025 17:18
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All my pants are full of diarrhea
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Nov 14, 2025 17:23
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Invisibility, but only when I don't want it
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Nov 14, 2025 17:23
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Wherever I happen to be at the moment is in somebody's way, and they're pissed about it
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Nov 14, 2025 17:27
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Nooner posted:All my pants are full of diarrhea Sounds like maybe a curse placed within, not upon
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Nov 14, 2025 17:39
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whenever I finally have a nice, warm, well-lit and well furnished home that is comfortable and functional and suitable for habitation and quality living, circumstance invariably presses me to have to relocate somewhere else so I have to start over.
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Nov 14, 2025 17:46
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Whenever there's a full moon, I black out and wake up next to a bucket of greasy chicken bones.
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Nov 14, 2025 17:58
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all of them, i think
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Nov 14, 2025 19:40
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I get shocked by random items that shouldn't shock people. Like grabbing leftovers out of the fridge or closing a car door. And the stuff that normally shocks people, like light switches, give me super duper loud static shocks. Like family members have come running from across the house to see what the hell that noise was kind of loud.
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Nov 14, 2025 19:57
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When I had a long goatee, everything shocked me. I remember reaching into my locker, getting shocked and jerking my hand back, and then getting shocked again when I touched the other side of the locker. Like, in the time it took for me to jerk my hand from one side of the locker to the other I had already built up a second set of electrons to discharge, or whatever happens with static electricity I'm not a scientist
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Nov 14, 2025 20:18
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| # ? Dec 15, 2025 08:06 |
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I have built a library full of distinguished works and three chucklefuck children who hate to read.
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Nov 14, 2025 20:54
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