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I thought we could use a place to talk about the bullshit that is Jury Duty. I can speak to it first hand as I completed a term as a Grand Juror. It was 18 months long but at the end of it we got a pizza party and got to meet the judge, so that was neat I guess. Picture related:
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Dec 2, 2025 21:39
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for more.
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I have never been given jury duty, but I assume I'd get filtered out at selection
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Dec 2, 2025 21:43
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I sent a sadistic sexual predator away for life for torturing people at gunpoint for hours while he raped them numerous times and told them when he was done with them he would murder them so they should be happy he wasn't done raping them yet.
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Dec 2, 2025 21:45
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lol at the concept of civic duty in america
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Dec 2, 2025 21:46
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I forgot my picture oops
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Dec 2, 2025 21:46
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what's the verdict?
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Dec 2, 2025 21:46
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Dumb Sex-Parrot posted:what's the verdict? Well as a Grand Jury we only returned "True Bills" No verdicts involved. Three Olives posted:I sent a sadistic sexual predator away for life for torturing people at gunpoint for hours while he raped them numerous times and told them when he was done with them he would murder them so they should be happy he wasn't done raping them yet. Yeah, that sucks 
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Dec 2, 2025 21:48
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I've been called up four times over the years but always got released before selection happened. Most recent one got as far as myself and a bunch of other rubes signing into a Zoom call to start selection but some sort of settlement got reached moments before things got going. The judge seemed truly sorry that we all had to go to the trouble just to be told, "lol no". I took a poo poo during the wait so I feel like the $10 check they sent me was rightly earned. I think the lesson here is don't vote.
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Dec 2, 2025 21:57
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Fabulousity posted:I've been called up four times over the years but always got released before selection happened. Most recent one got as far as myself and a bunch of other rubes signing into a Zoom call to start selection but some sort of settlement got reached moments before things got going. The judge seemed truly sorry that we all had to go to the trouble just to be told, "lol no". I took a poo poo during the wait so I feel like the $10 check they sent me was rightly earned. Nicely done! I got 80bux. Which wasn't great but it's more than some people got
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Dec 2, 2025 21:58
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Every job ive had since graduation pays for my time in jury duty, so its something ive looked forward to
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Dec 2, 2025 22:02
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Three Olives posted:I sent a sadistic sexual predator away for life for torturing people at gunpoint for hours while he raped them numerous times and told them when he was done with them he would murder them so they should be happy he wasn't done raping them yet. I think you deserve a pat on the back for this call. Thank you, 3O
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Dec 2, 2025 22:03
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My grand jury experience was like 6 hours total. That's crazy.
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Dec 2, 2025 22:18
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I was called but not selected for a case where someone used household chemicals to treat their infant child's illness. The father looked and dressed exactly like Jeff from American Dad. He and his wife opted to represent themselves and used all of voir dire to ask if any jurors were familiar with various constitutional statutes. His wife just asked who considered themselves god-fearing Christians Fascinating to watch, glad I wasn't selected, it sounded like a massive bummer. Only six jurors because it was a civil case - the parents were suing the local equivalent of CPS for rescuing their child. Also strange to sit in a room with 30 other people that together constitute a representative sample. The 80 year old next to me told me all about his carpentry shop.
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Dec 2, 2025 23:26
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I have no respect for the law, pigs, judges, the flag, the bible, promises, the system or crimes. Waste of my time and i have no obligation to this dogshit society until they give me healthcare and a pension. gently caress America & courts etc.
kntfkr fucked around with this message at 00:03 on Dec 3, 2025 |
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Dec 3, 2025 00:01
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it's only happened once but I got selected for a DUI trial that was sadly a unanimous guilty verdict. idk why they didn't eliminate me in voir dire, my dad Also ruined several years of his life between an amount of jail and losing his license for a good few years there. guy was clearly drunk and vomiting on the bodycam footage. guy was also shall we say a gentleman of some size. very taft shaped. also wearing a leg brace and visibly limping. he was found in the driver's seat with the keys in the ignition after pulling into a closed down gas station real sloppy. lady in the front seat with him, also drunk and vomiting. the guy's defense was that he had "shimmied" up into the front seat from the back seat of this 4door sedan after the REAL driver got out and ran away; he got a man who seemed to be entirely constructed of meth to testify HE was the driver. the cop's car camera footage captured him pulling into the station and mysteriously no figure skittering off into the darkness as the cop drove over to his car and exited his own vehicle. one of those peppy lab tech gals presented the BAC evidence and I'm convinced they churn out those gals in a factory. I felt bad for the guy's public defender. it's gotta suck having to defend someone you know is gonna get tacked to the wall, to the best of your ability because they're legally entitled to that representation. he really got up there and tried to say that puking taft-sized gentleman "shimmied". bless his heart. got to chat with one of the other jurors about the armenian genocide for a little while during the break, at least.
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Dec 3, 2025 00:03
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Hope you no billed at least once or else you're a cop
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Dec 3, 2025 00:08
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Riatsala posted:His wife just asked who considered themselves god-fearing Christians Pretty sure if you have faith in Christ you don't need to fear God  Maybe they only wanted the real lovely "Christians" empaneled Actually yeah that makes a lot of sense
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Dec 3, 2025 00:12
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Mine was attempted murder. The pigs fumbled collecting evidence, and two weirdos who had a knife fight were interesting to say the least.
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Dec 3, 2025 00:19
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I got summons every two years in LA like clockwork, but always got an email a few days beforehand telling me not to bother coming in 
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Dec 3, 2025 00:23
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By posting that I've never been selected for a jury it surely means I'll be selected for one now.
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Dec 3, 2025 00:27
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weg posted:By posting that I've never been selected for a jury it surely means I'll be selected for one now. Good luck, we're all counting on you
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Dec 3, 2025 00:29
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I was in the pool for jury duty but thank God I didn’t get selected and it turns out both cases the accused made plea deals. One case was particularly bad and depressing and I didn’t want anything to do with it.
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Dec 3, 2025 00:35
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I've gotten summoned twice. The first time was the summer before college so I guess it was fairly convenient timing but it was a really tedious civil suit that dragged on for a week+. The second time I postponed it because I was going to be away and then thankfully they sent me a letter saying that they didn't need me because they didn't have very many cases that day.
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Dec 3, 2025 00:50
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Been summoned twice so far, first time I was fresh out of the psych ward after a psychotic break (first one!) and second was after law school so neither really worked out lol Got pretty close the second time got to sit in the jury box and answer questions in hilariously disqualifying ways, the first was mostly a questionnaire and sitting in the back as an alternate for cases about garbage like a molestation, some med mal thing and a personal injury case involving idiot teenagers Nope, nope, nope! I guess the med mal thing may not have been so bad
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Dec 3, 2025 00:53
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Private Cumshoe posted:Pretty sure if you have faith in Christ you don't need to fear God She undoubtedly figured that 'real christians' would respect the parents' right to feed their infant bathroom sink Gatorade. Real poo poo show all around. Several jurors were granted a dismissal citing the emotional toil of working on a child abuse case and I agree with the judge for allowing them to peace out. This one middle aged lady was bawling through her request, I felt really bad for her.
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Dec 3, 2025 00:56
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Private Cumshoe posted:Been summoned twice so far, first time I was fresh out of the psych ward after a psychotic break (first one!) and second was after law school so neither really worked out lol We had an actual lawyer on our Grand Jury! I'd think they'd want to avoid those types? I got summoned back in college and the case seemed boring, so I asked to be excused and they excused me.
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Dec 3, 2025 00:56
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titty_baby_ posted:I think you deserve a pat on the back for this call. Thank you, 3O Honestly it was really traumatic, my description is the light version, I would come home and cry and I couldn't tell my husband why I was upset. I will take what I heard in the trial to the grave, no one else deserves to be burdened by the knowledge of what other humans are capable of, if they made a horror film out of it you would say it was a bit much. I thought several times I would have wished he had just killed me and wondered if his victims had taken their own lives after going through it. Also, as much of a loving monster he is, his family was there every day. I made eye contact with his mother when when the verdict was read that we were taking his freedom forever. But gently caress the guy, dude was a sociopath through and through, he even said one of his victims deserved it because he thought she was a sex-worker, not knew, not that what would be OK either, thought. He had a public defender, they were honestly good, I don't think he could have gotten better representation but after it was over they kind of dropped the act and were clearly like, yeah, gently caress this dude. Also, even though the guy was pure evil he weighed pretty heavy on me at the time and honestly to this day that in a way I personally made the decision that this guy would spend the rest of his life in our barbaric Texas prison system. Oh, I looked up the case later, his appeal went all the way up to the 5th Circuit, dude is locked away forever now. Three Olives fucked around with this message at 01:22 on Dec 3, 2025 |
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Dec 3, 2025 01:18
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You can just tell them you don't want to be there. Neither side wants to have a juror that's just not invested at all
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Dec 3, 2025 01:23
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I got called for a real estate case when I was 20, didn’t get chosen, and have never bothered going again.
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Dec 3, 2025 01:24
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Almost every time I've been called, I ended up getting a message the night before saying I wasn't required to go. And one time they called me via a postcard but they never actually gave out the time and place we were supposed to go and then no one ever talked to me about it so I assume it just was nothing. I think jobs are required by law to pay you for jury duty. Or at least in some way.
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Dec 3, 2025 01:24
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Private Cumshoe posted:Pretty sure if you have faith in Christ you don't need to fear God I've heard it explained that the Biblical idea of fearing God is more along the lines of respecting him rather than being like "AAAHH! It's God! Everybody run!" I almost got selected a few months ago but when I told them my profession, the prosecutor AND the defense just kept asking me about food and the judge got mad and let me go.
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Dec 3, 2025 01:35
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I've been called in twice, but the trial was called off before jury selection finished both times. I had a colleague who said that pointing out that my technical specialty relates in part to formal logic would guarantee that I would get kicked by one side or the other, but I haven't been questioned in voir dire yet. I don't know if that would work.
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Dec 3, 2025 01:35
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Sir Mat of Dickie posted:I've been called in twice, but the trial was called off before jury selection finished both times. I had a colleague who said that pointing out that my technical specialty relates in part to formal logic would guarantee that I would get kicked by one side or the other, but I haven't been questioned in voir dire yet. I don't know if that would work. As other people have said if you really don't want to do it, tell them that. Just be polite! That guy that said he needed to get back to his car wash talked back to the judge and got a harsh yelling at
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Dec 3, 2025 01:37
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Disrespecting judges is cool. 
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Dec 3, 2025 01:41
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Private Cumshoe posted:I guess the med mal thing may not have been so bad Med mal killed my grandma. I'd have a really hard time sitting through that.
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Dec 3, 2025 01:42
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Anderson Koopa posted:We had an actual lawyer on our Grand Jury! I'd think they'd want to avoid those types? Used to be universal wisdom to keep them out, but kicking out lawyers for being lawyers is getting more frowned upon these days for a lot of reasons mostly the whole jury of peers includes jackoff lawyers, but I'd imagine lawyers who think the law is really on their side would still try to get them on or kick them off if they don't think the law is on their side. The ones that almost universally get axed are priests/pastor types, they can't stand litigation, don't want to be there, everyone wants them gone, and it's for the best really.
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Dec 3, 2025 02:16
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I was selected once for a case where a (maybe homeless?) guy was arrested for assault with a deadly weapon in NYC. The evidence presented was grainy, low frame rate video of two people fighting in front of a strip club in Times Square (unclear who provoked whom), two cops with conflicting testimony, and two utility knives recovered from a storm drain. The other guy was never identified and never testified. The most interesting part was the cross section of Manhattan jurors. Students and professionals, mostly. Our foreperson was the host of a mildly popular podcast. One juror opened deliberation with "so he's obviously guilty, right?" which was funny because half of the jurors (myself included) were firmly thinking Not Guilty. We deliberated for about two hours, most of which were spent dissecting the text of the law and pointing out holes in the prosecution's case. It was a positive experience, and I recommend people go into jury duty without cynicism. It's a fascinating experience.
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Dec 3, 2025 03:51
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Safety Dance posted:The most interesting part was the cross section of Manhattan jurors. Students and professionals, mostly. We had what felt like a weird mix, it was like half-professionals where we were all scrambling to remote work on recesses and lunch, a couple of retired people and one of the dumbest loving people I have ever met, I was absolutely astonished. Like if you told me she was actually mentally disabled, I would believe you.
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Dec 3, 2025 04:08
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2 of our jurors were basically non-responsive and just stared at their phone the entire week and sided with the majority of the group, lol
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Dec 3, 2025 04:11
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We let the one of the olds be the foreperson because he said he had done it before, our little professional group all had somewhat externally facing roles and clicked pretty much immediately, we had a performative debate about racial justice and institutional racism (The defendant was black, a high school dropout and it kind of felt like he may have had a coerced partial confession without a lawyer) and then were like, all that said, gently caress this dude, right? The idiot wanted to say some idiotic things so we told her to STFU and that was that, we did a blind vote and it was unanimous.
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Dec 3, 2025 04:25
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